The next morning, I was impressed for all the wrong reasons.

Leaning over, I whispered to Elena, "This isn't a competition. It's a show-off."

"It's still quite impressive." Her eyes were wide as she took in the scene in front of us. "I have no doubt that you would be well-protected in this pack."

Eight Northern male and four female werewolves battled in a free-for-all, one-on-one fighting competition. We were at a nearby open field, with three spaces for fights set up. Snarls, growls, and jaw snaps sounded as much as the thumps from paws and bodies hitting the dirt.

Surprisingly, not a lot of yelps of pain. But this is... more pinning, less biting.

The amount of control exercised in what otherwise looked like violent fighting, amazed me more than the physical feats.

One round into the competition, it was obvious that the entire thing was an opportunity for Lucus to show off. His towering wolf, with a broad chest wrapped with corded muscles, was by far the largest. With one opponent slammed down into the dirt after another, he easily pinned or tossed out the other competitors.

He stood out visually, with his fur as black his name Shadow implied and a growl that shook into my bones. All the other wolves were varying shades of gray, reminding me of streaks of ash.

"It's not that impressive," Cole scoffed, crossing his arms over his puffed up chest.

"Don't worry, I know someone who's better." As Elena's attention turned to Cole and her hand patted his arm, his frown dissolved into a smile. "Even if I can't feel all ten fingers and toes."

She shuddered, pulling her thermal, thick, fluffy coat around her and shuddering her shoulders. I found the bite of the dry, crisp air refreshing as it filtered through my lungs but she was dressed for a blizzard.

Cole slipped his arm around her, holding her close and rubbing his palms up her arms.

"Yeah, Cole." I nudged him with my elbow. "Let Sable try a round or two."

My teasing earned me a signature Cole grunt. "I'm in no position to try and impress you, Princess."

"Speaking of which... let's talk about your position...'" Turning my full attention, I glared at him. "Since we're now away from my father, I need to ask. Cole, why didn't he let you train me on how to defend myself as a wolf?"

"He wanted to minimize the amount of time that you were in wolf form." He frowned as we watched Lucus make his third pin in a row. "Something about you distracting pretty much every male wolf on that island, except me."

"That was unintentional," I mumbled, shifting my gaze across the area.

"Plus, you can only be marked when in human form, so he thought it best to start from there." Cole had a point, but he'd already shared this information with me. I wanted to know what he couldn't share while we were in my father's house.

"I do appreciate what you showed me," I mumbled, keeping the conversation between us. My eyes fixated on the flashing blurs of gray in front of us as the last third round competitors spared off. "But what's the real reason?"

"Fine... " Cole continued with hesitation in his voice, "Your wolf is going to be harder to control at first. It's hard for anyone but Lumi was suppressed for additional years. So she's going to be extra wild out the gate. Your father..."

"What?" I tried not to let the irritation balling my hands into fists at my sides escape through my lips.

Internally, Lumi bristled at this conversation. The hairs on the back of my neck rose up, tickled by the wind that blew from behind where we stood.

"Didn't think you were capable of controlling her yet, Zara." I whipped my head around, sending a few strands of hair across my eyes. I brushed them aside, never cutting off my glare up at him. He shifted his eyes to mine, then clarified, "Your bond wasn't strong enough."

"How is that my fault!?" Bubbles of anger simmered inside me with each breath and I sank my nails into my palms.

My father was the one who suppressed Lumi. We were both still very angry about that, although some of our anger had subsided after we'd left his house.

"It's not your fault," he rushed out with a loud exhale. "And your bond is stronger now. She saved you and Elena in the car. And if you train with Raina, then it'll get stronger. Don't rush too much progress too fast, Princess."

I didn't respond to his admission of my father's lack of trust in me and Lumi. Nor did I ask Cole if he shared the same sentiments. Based on his words, he didn't sound like he did, so I felt willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Instead, I buried the anger down deeper, as if I reserved it as a fuel source to tap into later.

A sense of awe grew in me over the time we watched the Silverback wolves. They moved so quickly, so powerfully, so violently. Sharp teeth snapped, streams of saliva flew, and occasional cuts were opened and blood tinged the grass. The heightened sense of danger made me excited for me and Lumi to learn how to fight like this. Inside, she shifted with restlessness from the other wolves' presence. Recovered from the car incident, she was eager to prove herself.

During a short break before the final match started, my eyes traveled around the field and observed the other spectators. By the size of the crowd standing around the open field, almost the entire pack came out for the event. I assumed that the competition was their local entertainment. The fighting started mid-morning, there was a picnic lunch break, then the last two matches concluded in the afternoon.

Elena had explained to me that every adult Silverback wolf, defined by any male or female being age sixteen or older, trained in fighting. Males here were hunters and brought in the majority of their large game-based diet. The pack maintained a small, off-site farm that grew vegetables, corn, and wheat, and imported a lot of produce from the Southern territory.

Most of the pack members shared similar features, darker skin and dark brown eyes and hair, with slight variations among them. While Elena and Cole were identified with their brown hair and lighter brown and hazel eyes, my contrasting light features made me stick out like a sore thumb.

Today, I drew a lot of curious eyes. But I saw what Elena had meant, a pack was a community, an extended family. Knowing nothing about that concept, even the relaxed, good-natured teasing exchanged during breaks felt unfamiliar. I didn't even realize I craved until getting my first taste of it here already, making my heart pinch at the warm exchanges.

Even though this was our third day here, which males were mated and which weren't was obvious. The mated males politely addressed me, avoiding extensive eye gazes with me. The unmated males, however, stared at me as if I was their next meal. The intense gazes made me feel a little bit vulnerable, as well as blush easily since I always felt eyes on me.

Like now...

Feeling attention on me, I looked around and saw a girl. She looked a year younger than me. Her dark brown hair hung straight down to her shoulders, pale lips parted, and her dark eyes stared at me. I gave her a small smile and stepped closer, but she frowned and backed away. I was about to call out to her when a warm presence appeared on my right.

"Like what you see today?" During Lucus' final match, Gamma Jameson stood so close that the back of his hand touched mine. "Miss Zara."

"It's very impressive, Gamma Jameson. Why aren't you out there?" I asked with a smile.

"Some of us are impressive enough without showing off." He smirked. "Besides, today is -"

"Back off, Gamma Jameson." Raina's voice cut through the air like an icy chill as her hands slid between us and split us apart.

"Think you're up for it, Flower?" With half-lidded eyes, she watched the wolves with disinterest.

"Absolutely." I smiled, flicking my eyes up to Jameson when he coughed back a laugh. "I'm looking forward to it.

"First thing tomorrow morning then. Seven am?" she offered and I nodded.

"Good luck," Jameson muttered, lifting his hand and squeezing my elbow before dropping it.

"Good." She rolled her eyes as we clapped at her brother's obvious victory.

Like a man straight off the cover of one of my romance books, Lucus walked up to me. Wearing a megawatt smile and oh-my-goodness, low-lying pair of athletic shorts, my mouth dried. One of his large hands clasped around a water bottle that was fogged over from condensation. Sweat glistened down his body, accentuating every large and small muscle on him. And his angular, chiseled muscles seemed endless, a perfect curve in his hips dipping into his shorts below his navel.

I could get used to waking up next to that.

"Excuse me," Raina muttered, turned away, and tugged Jameson with her.

They walked back to her car, hopped in, and drove back to the pack house. Cole and Elena followed, but not before she gave me an encouraging smile. I turned around and found my eyes in Lucus' chest. His massive, sculpted, sweaty chest stared back at me. Up close, it was dotted with dirt, smudged with grass stains, and fine hairs.

"So, what did you think?" His dark eyes sparkled down at me.

"Very impressive." I tried not to let my eyes wander over his body but boy did they want to. "I feel safer already staying here."

He tipped his head back and laughed, the column of his throat bouncing with each one. With a flexed bicep, his hand lifted and he took some sips of water. As he did, I tried to find where I lost my breath.

"Shadow is impressive too." My words were true, his wolf also had a powerful, commanding presence. Both in size, demeanor, and appearance, Lucus' wolf overpowered all his opponents. His black fur stood out in the sunlight among the other gray wolves but I bet he had perfect camouflage at night.

Taking a quick scan down his ridiculously cut body, I breathed out, "You don't have a scratch on you."

"I think some of them held back." A smirk played on his lips before he drank some more water. I tried -again- not to roam my eyes over his muscles as he cocked his head up to finish the bottle. "Not going to lie, you were a bit distracting."

"Me?" I squeaked out, which earned me another hearty laugh.

He nodded, wiping some escaped drops of water with the pad of his thumb. "But between you and me, I'm relieved. Wouldn't want my pretty face all messed up before our date."

"Fine then, Pretty Face." I smirked back. "Let's head back. No offense, but you could use a shower."

We walked over to the makeshift parking area, where I hopped into his black Audi. The sleek yet practical model seemed to be his pack's car of choice. It was more practical than my father's love of Aston Martins, given the rockier territory.

More comfortable too.

Settling back against Lucus' black leather seat, I always felt like I couldn't move around my father's prize possessions for fear of putting a scratch or scuff mark on their interiors.

"So, what do you think..." He glanced at me out of the corner of his eyes, palming the wheel and backing up. "Of the Northern territory?"

"It's beautiful." I smiled as one of my hands gripped the leather on the door's armrest. Having driven me out here, Lucus had the same lead foot driving style as Raina.

Either that or I drive like an old lady.

"So... What do you really think?" His eyes shifted sideways again, calling my bluff.

I giggled quietly, cupping one of my cheeks. "You got me. It's a bit harsh and windy. If I can get over the dying off a cliff aspect, it's nice."

His low-toned chuckle hit my ears as my hand moved up and covered my eyes when we drove back over the narrow road to the pack house.

"Does that mean no cliff diving for our date tonight?" He didn't even get the sentence out before his chuckle deepened into full laughter.

"I've had enough going over your cliffs for one month." I pressed my lips.

"I admit, I'm glad that I get the first chance to impress you." He leaned over, pulled one of my hands off my face, and gave it a gentle squeeze.

My heart flipped, even if his hand was sweaty. He radiated sexiness out of every sweaty, smelly pore of his body. We rode the rest of the way in silence, as I tried not to hyperventilate from his touch and smell. The way his fingers intertwined with mine kept me from flying out the sunroof.

I can't believe my first date is with him... I couldn't have dreamed up a more attractive partner.

I smiled as he opened my door for me, then ran my fingers over his forearm as I exited the car. "See you in a bit?"

As he nodded and gave me a lopsided grin, I realized how much I looked forward to this.

"Thanks again for tonight." I smiled at Lucus.

Despite all the time I spent in my bedroom, lost in dreams about princes, I could not have imagined a more perfect first date. We went down to the kitchen, where the staff prepared a private dinner. After, we went up to the highest tower of the pack house, where Lucus brought up hot chocolate and yes, chocolate donuts.

The entire night sky wrapped a blanket of stars around us. A sliver of a moon cast out soft highlights on his handsome features. The panoramic view of the black water was breath-taking, and the background sound of the waves that crashed against the cliffs was romantic.

"I always loved the water," I murmured. "As soon as I could shift into Lumi, we sat on the shores of my father's island watching the sunset until curfew."

Here, I was comfortable admitting that because I felt a pull from the water surrounding the Silverback pack house. The expansive blue ocean faded off to a gray horizon of limitless possibilities.

Yet, despite the romantic setting, pleasant conversation, and a delectable, hot guy who sat inches from me, I couldn't help but feel like some component was off, or missing. Sadly, more chemistry sparked between me and the donuts than me and Lucus.

I must be doing something wrong.

Lumi was no help. She was in an incredibly bad mood tonight and seemed like the more I liked Lucus, the angrier she got at me.

Maybe that's throwing me off. We're arguing without saying anything.

I didn't have a lot of experience with a wolf in my head, but knew that dissension between us wasn't a healthy approach. She started ignoring me the minute I dressed.

Choosing the bold, fitted red dress Elena had suggested, with three-quarter length sleeves and a scoop neck. Taking her stupid book's advice, I swept my hair up into a loose braid. The night wind licked at my exposed neck and shoulders, raising goosebumps on them.

At the competition, I paid attention to the other females. Fighting or not, they tied their hair back, wearing either minimal makeup, like Luna Cassandra, or none at all, like Raina. The relaxed, natural style was refreshing enough that I debated tossing out all makeup for good.

Despite Elena's prodding, I did not opt for the cherry chapstick. I told her to apply it to Cole's lips, if she liked it that much.

But still... After going through all that preparation, what is going on here?

"My pleasure." Lucus turned to me, then reached out and stroked his fingers over my hair.

"Your hair is so beautiful, Zara." His voice was low and raspy, full of breath. "You're beautiful. I've never seen anyone that looks like you."

My eyes lifted to his. The second time he said those words, which made even less sense than the first admission.

"Oh, umm..." At his candor, warmth spread from my cheeks into my entire face. "Th-thanks."

Our conversation was platonic up to this point. He talked about what his life was like growing up here. I found myself envious of his sibling bond with Raina, him being the overprotective older brother and her always wanting to do whatever he did.

Their relationship sure explained their personalities and vice versa.

I hadn't known him for long, but Lucus was a lot more attentive and caring than I imagined a future alpha to be. I expected cockiness, arrogance, and a dominant nature. He was proud but spoke with an air of humility. Perhaps his nature was from having a younger sister that admired him. He seemed aware of the weight of his influence on her. Raina's personality was a bit more abrasive, she didn't mince words where he remained more guarded.

In their own way though, both were very expressive and open with sharing their thoughts. In our limited interactions, I never wondered what either had thought. After seventeen years of no reciprocated emotion, no understanding of my father's thought process, their openness was a welcomed, appreciated, and overwhelming surprise.

Open communication is something I could learn to live with. Especially now that his hands are on me and he's calling me beautiful.

"You know." Lucus interrupted my thoughts as his fingers retracted from my hair. "We have an old tale here about white wolves."

"Really?" My eyes pulled wide.

For the first time tonight, Lumi also paid attention to Lucus. Even if she held in a snuff of indignance.

"All of the Silverback wolves were originally black. A pack of pure white wolves lived on the other side of the sea, in an even further Northern territory. One summer, a giant iceberg broke off, stranding two pups, separating them. The pups, one male, one female, managed to survive, floating around the sea for days, until arriving here. They were taken in by our pack, grew up like they were born here, even mated with our wolves. Since then, all the resulting wolves have been gray. If you look close enough, all of our gray wolves have a thin white line down their spine, which is why our pack name is Silverback."

I stared at him for a few seconds and absorbed each word, before he burst into hearty laughter. He wasn't being serious. My face fell, shoulders and chest sagged, and the corners of my lips pulled down.

"It's a fable, Zara. We don't all have white stripes down our back. I'm teasing." His dark eyes sparkled as his laughs subsided.

"Oh..." I averted my eyes out to the ocean. "So, like a fairy tale."

Or otherwise, a lot of inbreeding.

"Yes, it's told to pups." The glimmer of moonlight flashed a highlight on his dazzling smile. "Although my family is the oldest lineage in the territory, and every alpha has been black. Including mine, as you saw."

I nodded slowly, still unconvinced of any shred of proof to his story.

Not after he laughed at me.

"I bet your wolf is beautiful though," Lucus interrupted my thoughts, returning his fingers to my hair with soft, caressing strokes. "Mine can't wait to meet her."

"They'll have to plan their own date." I turned my face to him with a smirk, although internally I melted like an ice cube left on a hot sidewalk under his gentle touch.

"I think Shadow would like that." His own smirk pulled up the corners of his lips. I fought the urge to look at them and instead gazed into his eyes. They looked black under the moonlight.

'Don't ask.'

Lumi's angry mood soured after the anticlimactic white wolf story.

"Zara, if I can be so forward... May I kiss you?" Lucus' lips parted, drawing my eyes to how soft and pale pink they looked, and his tongue caressed between the seam.

My eyes tracked the slow, sensual movement and heat rose in my cheeks, warming them against the cold wind. His lips remained parted, pink and full and... inviting and kissable. I tipped my chin down and looked at him from underneath my eyelashes.

In the back of my mind, Lumi snuffed, but I chose at that moment to ignore her.

I wanted this and the thrill that rushed through me bobbed my head.

Lucus leaned over and placed the softest, lightest feeling on my lips and pulled back quickly. My eyes fluttered and I wondered if he kissed me, if that happened.

His fingers moved from my hair to grasp behind my head. Cradling it gently, his hand pulled me closer as he leaned in to close the gap between us. His mouth deepened the kiss as his mouth opened, pressing harder and lulling my eyes closed.

With a sharp inhale, my breath stalled in my lungs. His scent filled my nose, my lips tingled at the contact as I pushed back, and left parted as he pulled back.

I could not have asked for a more perfect first kiss...

Except that I felt nothing.

Other than a soft press of warm skin on skin, a detached emotional sensation that I kissed my brother rose inside me.

Or worse, Cole. Eww.

Hesitation was written on Lucus' face as he pulled back, his eyes averting and he cleared his throat. Based on his reaction, I assumed that he also felt, well, nothing.

Gawd, I had my first kiss and it reminded me of my dead brother.

'No friends.'

Huffing and chuffing as she paced back and forth, Lumi's ferocity hit me like a tidal wave.

'Push over cliff.'

"Maybe that's something that'll grow on us?" Lucus threaded his fingers through his hair, cupping the back of his neck and lifting his eyebrows.

"Maybe." My lower lip rolled inward.

Awkward.

Still dressed in my stupid red dress, I paced in back and forth in Elena and Cole's room. My hands balled into fists, swinging at my sides until my shoulder joints hinged.

"I don't understand," I lamented, clenching my teeth. "Everything was perfect, he was perfect. He even kissed me."

"He... kissed you?" Elena's eyebrows lifted and her eyes lit up.

Cole's reaction was the opposite. His face compressed inward, all scrunched up eyebrows, nose, and mouth. "Is that a good thing?"

I lifted my hands up, clenched my hair, and squeezed my eyes so tight that tiny white spots burst into my vision. "Yes. No!"

This is so confusing.

With sharp kicks, I hurled my shoes off and grunted. They clattered into Cole and Elena's bedroom wall and landed with a thud. I hoped that would have made me feel better, but it didn't. Neither did Lumi's entitled 'I told you so' opinion lurking in the back of my mind.

My skin crawled, my muscles twitched, and pacing wasn't enough to relieve this sense inside me. I felt restless, unhinged even, and wrenched the pads of my fingers into my scalp.

Murmured admissions flooded out of my lips, "He asked if he could, so I assume he likes me. I'm attracted to him. Who wouldn't be? It was a perfect kiss except..."

"...Except you felt nothing," Elena filled in with a soft and gentle voice, so soft I needed a few more grunts released before her words registered.

Opening my eyes, I saw hers filled with sympathy. She sank down into their bed, clasping her hands in her lap. One glance at Cole showed his lips twitched up at the corners. He lifted a fist over them and coughed but his eyes crinkled at the corners.

"Yeah." I sighed loudly, raked my fingers through my hair, and released my hair from its braid. "What did I do wrong? Don't say because I didn't wear the chapstick."

"I wasn't going to, Zara."

I didn't return her smile, only fluffed my hand through my hair in rough, claw-like swipes of my fingers. "He seems perfect, great warrior, strong, handsome, muscles for the two of us, sensitive, attentive, but -"

"- but nothing, Zara." Elena stood up, walked over to me, and clasped her hands over my shoulders. Unlike Cole's bouncing shoulders, I appreciated her gentle gesture helping me salvage some piece of my fractured ego. "He's not your mate, it's okay. You should still try to get to know him better, there's a bond that could grow. Your human side is attracted to him, that's a start."

The tension straining my neck and shoulders relaxed under her words, which were a lot more comforting than Cole's chuckles.

"Honestly, at this point I feel like I had more chemistry with Gamma Jameson the other night at dinner," I muttered at the stone floors under my feet.

What a disaster.

"Watch yourself with that one," Cole warned me with narrowing eyes. "I didn't need a mindlink to know his intentions. Don't embarrass your father, Zara, by flirting with the wrong wolf."

"Go out with Lucus again." Elena gave me an encouraging smile. "Give the bond time to grow. Even as friends, he would make a good ally."

"I will." I sighed again, hanging my head until my chin pressed into my chest.

What am I doing wrong?

'Not mate.'

Sensing this conversation was over, I picked up my shoes and mumbled a somber, "Goodnight guys. Thanks."

After I shut their door behind me, I realized I should have listened to Lumi. Allowing my stupid human emotions, or hormones, to infiltrate my mind, they clouded my judgment.

The weight of my father's decision to allow me to make decisions for myself stung me to my core. Tension built up like a mass in the pit of my stomach, because I was aware how really, really shitty I was at making decisions.