Chapter Twenty-Eight

Saying goodbye is never easy.

Cliche, I know. But it's true. It's never something people enjoy doing. Even if it's the start of something new, like a new job or starting at a new school, it's still bittersweet to leave people behind. It's scary, too, because part of you knows there's a small chance you might never see these people again. You never know what could happen, be it a bad car accident or a sudden outbreak of a deadly disease. For all you know it could be the last time you see someone's face.

Of course, it can be good. The day I finally said goodbye to Greer (who gets the award for the worst roommate in existence) I couldn't have been happier. But if it's people you care about, no one enjoys that.

Goodbye also means leaping out into the unknown, most of the time. Leaving the safety net of your support system. I remember the day I left for school in London, leaving Lizzie and my family behind in Mullingar. I'll never forget the heartbroken look she gave me, knowing that both of her best friends would be gone now, so sad that I nearly wanted to turn around and forget the whole thing. Of course, she finally moved there too a little while later and I couldn't have been happier, but I didn't know that then. 

And even if it's not some crazy, earth-shattering event like that, it still hurts. You get so used to having people around and then suddenly they're gone. You miss them. All the little quirks that annoyed the fuck out of you, suddenly you'd give anything just to have one more day of their incessant chatter or weird food choices. But instead you have to change your whole routine to fit without them.

*****

I woke up in Harry's arms, my face pressed against his chest. He was so warm despite wearing only a t-shirt and shorts, and I just laid there for a bit, enjoying that last moment we had together. My finger traced the tattoos on his collarbone and he flinched slightly from the tickling sensation. 

I had no idea what time it was, but it must have still been early morning because no one else was awake as far as I could tell. The sun was just starting to peak through the curtain. Moving slightly, I tried to pull myself out of his grasp, but in his sleep-induced mind he only clung to me tighter, not allowing me to go just yet. I tried to be annoyed, yet I couldn't help but love the fact that he wanted more of me. A bubble of laughter made its way to my throat.

"Harry," I whispered. "You have to get up, I need to go back to my bed before everyone wakes up." He still didn't move but I could tell he wasn't fully asleep anymore. "Harry," I tried again.

He groaned slightly, letting go with one hand to rub his eyes groggily. I stifled a giggle; there was something undeniably attractive about his current state. "Morning, sleepyhead," I said softly.

He grunted in response before moving the hair out of his eyes and stretching his limbs. "Morning," he mumbled nearly incoherent. After a moment he opened his eyes and looked at me, suddenly remembering it all. I was lost in a sea of green as I stared at him. "It's here, isn't it?" he said slowly.

"Yeah," I replied, flicking my eyes between his torso and his face.

He sighed, finally letting our evening go. "I should have learned by now that nothing with you lasts forever," he joked lightly, but he looked too sad to really pull it off. Something about this moment felt like it was our goodbye, even though I'd be there to see him off at the airport, there would be too many people around to say it properly. I could tell he felt it too. 

"I guess you should have." Taking a deep breath I leaned a little closer. "Goodbye," I said quickly, kissing his cheek and climbing out of the bunk.

"Goodbye, Ally," he said softly, watching me leave. I walked the short trek to my bed without looking back. 

*****

The day had come, it was finally time for us to leave. It really was all over, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't sad to go. Now we had to return to real life, back to Uni and Liz's tiny apartment and back to my early mornings working at the coffee shop before school. Summer was coming to an end and reality was settling back in its rightful home.

With all the hustle and bustle it seemed like we were at the airport practically minutes after I left Harry's bed, even though it really was a few hours. The boys, fancy celebrities that they were, arrived at their private terminal (I know, its insane. Trust me, I give them so much shit for it) to avoid all the fans, and we sat with them while they waited for the team to get everything together for their departure. Liz and I could have just left for home when we stepped down from the bus for the final time, but we decided to accompany them on one last adventure before our return to normal life. 

None of us were saying anything, not really wanting to note the fact that this was the end. Louis kept making us laugh with the weird food combinations he concocted from the snacks in the pantry, trying to distract everyone. But far too soon, we were told it was time to go. 

Niall was preoccupied with Lizzie, so I turned to Zayn first, standing on my toes so I could wrap my arms around his neck. His arms moved to my waist in a hug. "See you around, Alley-cat. Don't go pants-ing anyone without me now, ya hear?" he said, cracking a small smile.

I laughed and nodded my head. "I wouldn't dream of it. Come back soon so we can start more trouble, okay?" If it was possible, I would have wanted them back tomorrow, but they had some things to take care of. Such as thousands of screaming fans at a seemingly endless amount of venues on the other side of the pond. Bloody Directioners, they really do ruin all my fun. 

"Sure," he replied with a grin.

Louis was next, standing there with his big puppy eyes as if asking if we really had to go. My arm moved to punch him in the chest. "Lou, you're gonna make me cry." I know I said I never cried over boys, but these ones were definitely the exception. They were my best friends, my family for the past few months. 

He pulled me into a hug, picking my feet up off the ground while I shrieked. "Don't go, Ally! There will be no one to threaten to cut of my manhood if you leave. Harry's too much of a softie to do it."

I chuckled. "Maybe it's safer that way." He pouted but relented. "Come back in one piece. For the most part, anyways." He nodded before giving me one last squeeze, and I returned the gesture.

I moved down the line to Liam, hugging him tightly for a moment. "Say hi to Av for me, won't you?" he asked quietly.

I rubbed the top of his head with my knuckles. "Of course. Liz and I are due at her place tomorrow night for a welcome back dinner." He smiled but looked sad, as if wishing to head back to her with us. "And as for you, watch after the rest of the lot." My head motioned to the other boys who were saying goodbye to Lizzie.

"Don't I always?" he said with a raised eyebrow.  I laughed and grinned at him before turning to Niall.

I didn't want to cry, but it was Niall. He was my best mate, forever and always. There to pick me up every time I fell down. It wouldn't be the same without him there. 

I wiped a tear from my cheek and threw my arms around him. He pulled me to him tightly, nearly engulfing me in one of his famous Horan Hugs. Niall really did give the best hugs.

"I'm gonna miss you so much," I confessed, talking mostly to his shoulder. "We need you. Lizzie totally cannot be trusted to keep my crazy in line, she's way too much of a follower." Although Niall was the quieter of the two, he was always the voice of reason when I took things too far. 

Niall laughed, and I knew he appreciated my attempt to lighten the mood. "I'm just a phone call away, I promise. Besides, you're way more tame during the school year, you guys will be fine." 

"Okay, but I'm signing you on to pay for any lawsuits that occur in the meantime." I felt him shake his head at my joke. "See you soon, Nialler," I said, running a hand through his hair while trying not to cry any more than I already was.

"See you soon, Alley-cat." And then in a low voice so only I could hear, he continued. "Take care of her for me, okay?" he said. 

I looked past his shoulder at Lizzie, who was in the process of being swallowed by Louis and Zayn in a group hug. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, but because nothing could contain the brown mane, strands were falling out to frame her face while she laughed at something one of them said. 

"Will do," I whispered back, touched at how much I knew they loved each other. 

He pulled away from me so we were facing each other again. "Kick some arse at Uni, liquor before beer, and, please, for the love of god, don't try cooking. I'll pay for the Nandos if you need." I laughed at his statement, somehow it was the most Niall thing he could say. "Be good, Ally. Everything will work out in the end," he finished, ruffling his fingers through my blonde hair.

"Thanks, Ni," I replied as I gave him one last hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Finally, it was Harry's turn. I turned to him, pulling my hands behind my back. I suddenly felt shy and unsure of what to say. Even after everything, he still left me without words. How on earth did he manage it?

"Hey," I said brightly, trying to buy myself some time.

"Hi," he said as he looked down at me. I couldn't read his expression, but he seemed at least a little bit sad to see us go. Or maybe that was just what I hoped.

I sighed but tried to keep my smile. "I guess this is it."

"Sort of seems that way," he said quietly. I looked behind him, a few of the staff members were shuffling their luggage onto a rolling cart to take to the cargo area on the plane. I wondered if Harry ever got sick of wearing the same outfits for months on end, I for one couldn't wait to get back to my full wardrobe and I was only gone half the time he would be.  

In a spurt of bravery I spoke again. "I'm going to miss you, you know, you curly-haired muppet. Life will be boring with no one to make fun of," I said with a smile.

Harry laughed again. "I'll miss you, too, Al. There's no one else quite like you out there." I chuckled a little bit, not doubting him. It wouldn't be the first time I was called one of a kind, probably wouldn't be the last, either.

I pulled the sleeves of my cardigan over my hands. It was floor-length, thrown on top of a pair cutoffs and a band t-shirt.  I clung to the jumper with my fingers, trying to hold on to something while everything else slipped away. All of this seemed surreal. "Well, bye," I mumbled, leaning over to hug him.

He pulled me closer, arms around my waist to get rid of any space between us. We stayed like that for a minute, unable to let everything go. But we knew we had to. It was part of life, saying goodbye. "Bye," he whispered, nuzzling his face into my neck. It wasn't the best hug in the world, because he was so tall and I was so short, but it was perfect nonetheless. It was ours.

I pulled away from him, smoothing a piece of hair behind his ear while I spoke. "Don't go breaking too many hearts in America, now," I said with a grin. He laughed again.

"Promise." He smiled back at me. 

I nodded my head, grabbing my tote bag with one hand and waving with the other. "See ya," I said, turning around to walk back to where a car waited to take me and Lizzie home. 

"Al, wait," he replied suddenly, grabbing my free hand and spinning me around before bending down and kissing me. It was sweet, filled with care, but still the slightest bit cheeky, too, because it was Harry. I pressed my hand to his cheek while the sounds of everyone else 'oohing' filled the area. We were both going to catch so much shit for this later, you could bet on that. But I didn't care, his lips were luxuriously soft and I never wanted to let go.

Smiling into the kiss, I continued it until finally I needed to breathe and pulled away, continuing to grin at him. He beamed at me with a twinkle of mischief in his eye, both of us now without anything to say. I grabbed my bottom lip, laughing with him. He always did know how to take me by surprise. 

I waited a few more minutes for Lizzie to finish the rest of her goodbyes, complete with a dip kiss from Niall. After what seemed like far too soon she was linking her arm through mine as we waved one last time, intending to make our way out the door and onto the street. "Ready to go?" she asked me.

I turned around for one more look, my gaze lingering on Harry for just a moment longer than necessary. Zayn was yelling at Louis for god knows what while Liam attempted to sort it out, Harry was telling them to cut it out and get over it and Niall watched from the sidelines, hoping it would end soon. They really were a bunch of nutters, and I loved each of them to death. 

I nodded at Lizzie. "Yeah." Oddly, my tone wasn't sad, it was just sort of accepting. "Let's go home."

Song: Francis Forever by Mitski