Walking Down Memory Lane.

العينان زيناهما النظر

"To gaze(at haraam) is fornication of the eyes"

If the gaze has to mistakenly fall on a non mahram and a person looks away, that person will be forgiven.
It is not like how many of us think today, you are only allowed one look so look properly once. This is a misconception that many have. You are not allowed even one intentional look.  If you stare one long stare, it's tantamount to staring more than once .

*Past*

The wind whipped her face.
The sun shone intensely, it's radiance brightening her face. The smell of the freshly cut grass filled her nose, as she sprinted across the park, racing with her friend Aa'isha.

Aa'isha surpassed Safwa swiftly, jumping into a puddle causing the muddy water to splatter on Safwa's Converse All Stars.

"Aaaagh my lovely shoes !!!"

Safwa stopped in her tracks and looked at her now muddy covered shoes, her eyes widened in horror.

Aai'sha rolled her eyes and walked over to her dramatic friend, shaking her head in disagreement.

"Who wears white converse to a park, it was bound to get dirty. Be intellegent like the one and only Aa'isha"

She indicated to her black Converse.

Safwa stomped her foot in anger and walked towards the bench besides the lake, she sat down and crossed her arms on her chest.

Ai'sha laughed at her friends childish behaviour and made her way over to the swings, joining the kids, singing along to nursery rhymes.

Safwa threw a pebble into the water. Ripples of water formed, one sarrounded by another.

She watched the ducks quacking and swimming around, their cute little ducklings following suite.

She tapped her fingers on her lap and let out a frustrated sigh.

She was not frustrated with her friend, no ! She was frustrated with the relationship her brother and sister had with her.

Sameeha and Shaakir were both older than Safwa, but none of them spared time for their little sister.
Her sister preferred the company of her friends over Safwa, even if she was at home.

Shaakir and Sameeha would keep each other company, excluding Safwa from every conversation, they would go out and do their  shopping together. Shaakir would purchase whatever Sameeha wished for and, just to add salt to Safwa's already wounded heart, she would waltz into the room with her shopping bags and display all her items on Safwa's bed, an arrogant look set on her face.

Safwa would smile at her and try to look enthusiastic, Sameeha would then gather her things, roll her eyes and strutt out of the room, as if she was modeling on a runway, her shopping bags dangling from her arms.

Pearls of tears would roll down from her eyes, those tears that she concealed and protected in the shell of her heart.

She never ever cried infront of them and never would, she wouldn't allow them to derive enjoyment by showing them how much it hurt her.

She was convinced she was an adopted child. She had to be.

Her parents treated her much better than her siblings, but it was obvious and as clear as daylight that they showed her elder siblings more love and affection than they expressed to her.

Those tears that she kept safely locked up, her long lashes encaging those tears, now began to unleash with full force, pouring down her face and splattering on her red skirt, blotching her skirt with tear stains.

She hated being vulnerable and hated being weak. She so badly tried her best to be strong, but everyone had a breaking point and hers was when she was hidden away, under her covers in the confines of her room.

Why was she crying now ?

Aa'isha would see her!

She furiously wiped her tears and glanced at the play area across the park, Aa'isha spun a little girl in a pink floral dress, her cute little ponies on either side of her head bounced up and down.

Aai'sha's royal blue skirt, flared out around her as she spun. The breeze slapped her black scarf onto her face, blinding her, causing her to lose her balance and fall on her butt, the cute girl in the pink floral dress fell on her stomach giggling gleefully.

Aa'isha sat up and flashed her a smile, kissing the little girl on her cheek.

Safwa laughed softly, shaking her head at her friend.

Safwa and Aa'isha both loved playing with kids, but Aaisha was crazy about kids!

Safwa smiled , recalling the time she and Aaisha were at the mall.

A woman stood by a clothing rack, sifting through the summer dresses, her cute little toddler squirmed in the trolley and whined continously trying to get his mothers attention,

She ignored his whining and continued analysing the racks.

The toddlers lips trembled, his fair, chubby cheeks turned red in frustration and his sparkly blue eyes filled with unshed tears.

"Woman ! She has such a cute baby and she's not even paying attention to him. "

Aaisha muttered to herself.

She walked over to the baby and stroked his adorably chubby hand.

"Hey little boy dont cry ! You're such a cutie!"

She cooed.

The baby immediately flashed her the cutest smile, revealing two tiny dimples on both his chubby cheeks.

"Aww he has dimples !"

She said aloud.

This caught his mother's attention and she spun on her heel, once her eyes set on Aaisha, her eyes widened in shock.

The baby tapped her wrist that was adorned with various bracelets, his eyes shone with delight at the diamante studded bracelets that gleamed under the lights.

"Justin!"

His mother gasped and scooped him up in her arms, glaring at Aaisha.

She lifted her hands in surender.

" I was simply trying to cheer him up Ma'm "

"I'm his mother, that's my job."

She spoke coldly.

Aaisha opened her mouth but then closed it again, her mouth set in a straight line, trying to swallow back  her words.

Safwa tugged her arm, surpressing a giggle that threatened to erupt.

Aaisha followed her, but then stopped and turned around to look at the woman, who was now glaring at both of them. 

"I meant no harm, but I would glady adopt him. This will give you ample time to search through all these sale racks , intstead of feeding your hungry baby."

She indicated to the toddler who was now sucking his thumb, his lips quevering once again, his eyes gleaming with unshed tears.

The woman huffed and wheeled her trolley out of the store, her selected dresses now thrust on the floor.

Safwa and Aaisha erupted into laughter, gaining the atention of customers, who gave them 'you need help ' and 'go to the mental hospital ' looks.

After they had become sobre once again, Aaisha sighed in regret.

"I shoudn't have said that , it was a bit mean , I'm supposed to invite them to deen, by good character so that they become more keen , so that they understand a woman covers up, because she is precious like a queen, ugh I so made her hate our deen!"

Safwa laughed at her friends poetry, she always became poetic when she was very upset , sad or ecstatic.

* end of flashback*

Safwa smiled and watched her crazy friend who was now running around the round about, granting a little boy the privilege of a piggy back ride.

She was such a happy person she always had a smile that illumanated her face and formed a glint of happiness in her chocolate brown eyes, that was the reason they got along so well, Safwa behaved the same way, always smiling, bubbly , being crazy.... even though she was hurt inside. She never expressed her emotions openly , only the walls of her room contained the vulnerable and broken side of her, only the skies witnessed her sparkling tears that matched the twinkiling stars.

Aaisha noticed the sorrow in her eyes, she understood that she was hurt inside, no matter how hard Safwa tried to conceal her emotions, Aaisha saw past the smiles and the bubbly personality there deep down  an aching heart that wished to be appreciated and loved was hidden, and this caused her heart to ache as well, hence her bubbly and happy bahivoir with Safwa. She unleashed a crazy side when she accompanied Safwa, a crazy side she made apparent only to a few close people, she wished to cheer Safwa up, she wanted to make her feel special and wanted her to feel good about herself.

"You look so much better when you smile " a male voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

She lifted her gaze and  her eyes met with hazel eyes, that stared right back at her. There stood a boy clad in a jeans, his feet clad in black all stars, a black Uzzi hoodie, hung on his shoulder. He leaned against the  tree trunk, his arms folded on his chest.

Safwa's eyes windened .

Was this guy standing here the entire time ?

Did he witness her crying ?

Oh my beloved converse ..how embarrassing ! !

He flashed her a pearly smile, dispalying his perfect teeth.

She ignored him and looked ahead at Aaisha who was oblivious of Safwa, she now sat on a picnic blanket holding a plastic tea cup and saucer infront of her, sarounded by little girls.

Gosh this girl ! Come here Jauhy!!

Safwa mentally yelled at her.

The boy walked over and sat on the bench  beside her, leaving enough space between them.

He followed Safwa's gaze.
"My cousin..."

He chuckled and shook his head.
" she's crazy "

Safwa's eyes widened.
"You're her cousin ?"

He nodded and smiled.
"Yeah , the name's Khaleel "

Khaleel.....that sounded fimiliar ....

Oh yes Aaisha did mention him a few times.

Safwa nodded , feeling rather awkward.

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Assalaumuaykum sorry for late update....I'm trying ...I'm a busy woman ...😉

Love You all !!! 😘
Jawhariy