"Oh Allah deprive me from finding enjoyment in your disobedience, and grant me enjoyment in your obedience"

She felt as if the waves had rapidly leaped towards her and pulled her into its depths. She felt as if she was engulfed into complete darkness. She felt suffocated, for a moment she forgot how to breathe.

Before Safwa, stood the one person who managed to crack her once firm soul, that one person who was capable of helping her believe in her dreams, that one person for whom she wished to sacrifice her everything.

She was so naive back then, she believed every word he had said.
She fell for him so hard that she had  disobeyed her beloved Allaah Subhanahu Wa Ta'allah, and in the process angered her parents and lost her close friend.

Many people had warned her, advised her and attempted to guide her, but she shunned them all and cracked her once shinning mirror of a heart. She was now left to gaze at her cracked heart. She tried to glue the pieces back together and make it whole, except she hadn't realised, once a mirror was cracked, it could never look the same again, no matter the amount of glue used, the cracks would still be visible.

She clenched her hands into fists, a scowl painted on her face, her cheeks red, and flamed  with anger. Tears stung  her eyes, as they threatened to wash down her heated face and mirror her inner emotions, but she furiously blinked them away.

He didn't deserve to know how much he had hurt her. She remained strong when he walked away, she would remain strong now. She would not let his sudden appearence faze her.

"Khaleel what do you want and what are you doing here ?"

Khaleel smiled and looked at her with hopeful eyes.

"I was wrong to let you go, I should have realised. I know I made a big mistake, but I know that you ..."

Safwa stood up abruptly, she fumed with anger.

She turned her head to the side, her gaze on the surfers who stratagically sailed the waves.

She spoke to him in a stern voice, her gaze fixed on the ocean.

"What happened, happened. What is done cannot be undone, you left four years ago and I accepted it. We were both at fault, we disobeyed our Allaah and obeyed our whims. It is best that you go far away from me and never return."

"But I am truly sorry ...I...I just want..."

Sawfa rose her hand and silenced him, without making eye contact.

"You are not my Mahram and it is not appropriate for me to talk to you".

Saying that, she walked away swiftly, not even looking back.

"Safwaaa wait ! Just listen to me ! How can you say that? You spoke to me four years ago, for hours on end. Let me just explain. "

Khaleel yelled and walked briskly behind her.

"I found my Allaah, I have firm faith that Allaah will forgive me, I have moved on and I am now at peace in the obedience of my Rabb. Only the pleasure of my Creator is important to me, even if it means sacrificing my own pleasure, I will, to please my Lord! I don't need you in my life! I will patiently wait for the one that Allaah Subhanahu  wa Ta'alah has chosen to be my spouse."

She spoke, her back still facing him.

Once she completed, she walked  swiftly away from her him, from her past...

Where was this Shaakir when she needed him !

Idiot !

On cue, Shaakir strolled down the steps, while he  held their ice creams.

Safwa sighed in relief and thanked Allaah, but Khaleel didn't notice his presence.

He screamed her name once again, earning a muderous glare from Shaakir.

Shaakir threw the ice creams on the floor in his fit of rage.

"My ice cream !!"

Safwa gasped, and pouted at her fallen ice cream.

"You are worried about your ice cream and this guy is following you !"

Shaakir's vein on his forehead popped, due to his anger. 

"I just want to speak to her , I just want ..."

Shaakir threw a punch at Khaleel, leaving his sentence incomplete.

"What's going on here?"

Both the boys froze, when Zaid, Safwa's father scolded.

"You ! Stay away from my daughter! Scram before I lose my temper."

Zaid warned.

Khaleel lowered his head in shame and walked away.

Safwa hoped that that would be their last encounter.

Safwa jumped on her bed.

She sighed  in frustration, as she pulled the covers over herself.

Why did he have to return when she built strong walls, when she turned back to Allaah, when she learnt from her mistakes?

Sleep had been snatched away, the feeling of restlessness had settled in, uneasiness had resurfaced, as her mind traveled four years back .....

Assalamualaykum my lovely readers !

More on the past will be in the next chapter.

Until next time , take care lovely people ! 😘

Heaps of love !

Jawhariy💜