4

Jude

Her line kept ringing. And ringing. And ringing. And then it hit her voicemail.

So I tried again.

That time, she picked up just before the line clicked out.

"Yes?"

Patience, Jude. You fucked up, and now you've got to fix it. "Hi, Lily. Do you have a moment to chat?"

A sigh. "Precisely one moment."

"Thank you for giving Elle my letters. I completely understand your feelings—"

"You don't."

Deep breath. "You're right. All I could do is put myself in your place. Had I walked into what you walked into, I'd tell Rob he were better off. I can't blame you for feeling this way, but I'm reaching out to you on behalf of someone we both love very much."

There were a few beats of silence, and then: "Well, go on. I'm listening."

She might've been more angry than Elle. "I'd like to help plan for Elle's birthday. I'm sure you've already started pulling something together, but I want to contribute in some way, any way."

"You know she hates surprises. She also hates attention. Regardless, that girl deserves a little fun. I'm going to throw her a small party here. Then, maybe, depending on how she's feeling, move the party out to a bar. Nothing too club-y. She'd fucking hate that. But something a bit trendy, something more fun than your average pub."

"What can I do to help?" I asked.

"Make the most of your celebrity status. I was going to have Rob do it, but if you're willing—"

"Of course. More than willing."

"Then I'll text you some of the bars I picked out and you can see if you can get us a private table at one."

"Done."

"Great. Bye."

"Oh, er, before you go, I wanted to get your opinion on something. I...I'd like to take Elle on a sunny holiday. We get so little sun in London, and I want to give her a break from all of the clouds and rain. I was thinking maybe somewhere along the south of France."

"You've taken her to France. Take her somewhere new, somewhere she hasn't been before. She asked me a ton of questions about Italy after I came back with Rob, so I'm sure it's somewhere she's added to her list."

"Italy...she has a list?"

"Of course she has a list. Everyone has a fucking list. Don't you?"

"I, er, I guess. I've been to lots of places for filming and press so—"

"Well we're not all movie stars getting to travel around the world. Some of us have jobs that keep us in certain places—remember?"

Apparently I'd used up all of the kindness Lily was going to afford me that evening. "Okay, okay. Thanks. I'll look for your text with the places for her birthday."

"Yeah."

"Bye, Lily."

"One last thing: if you ever give her a reason to question you again, I'll personally ensure your eternal misery." And on that note, the line went dead.

Fucking hell she was intense. Yet, rightfully so.

I wanted to get to work on planning out our getaway the moment I was off the phone, but I suddenly missed Elle far too much. Before my mind could catch up with my body, I realised I was in my car driving to her. I spent nearly fifteen minutes sitting outside her flat, wondering if she even wanted to see me. We weren't supposed to jump back in so suddenly; we were told to take things slowly, get to know each other again. But I didn't want to listen to anyone or anything other than my heart.

When I told my nerves to bugger off (why was I nervous?), I trudged to Elle's door, knocked just twice, and waited. All I wanted was to spend time with her, see her shining smile and tell her I loved her as many times as it would take for her to never doubt it again.

She walked alongside me late into the night. At one point we found ourselves dancing in the park near her flat, and I remembered promising her that I'd dance with her at the next showcase for her studio. I wanted to keep that promise, show her I'd never break her trust again, but stepping foot into her studio or that theatre meant being on the same premises as that fucking bastard who ignited the whole mess between us. Ideas swirled in my head, none of which I liked, but all of which I'd do for her.

When I left her at her door that night, I don't think I'd ever felt more deeply connected to her.

Back at my place, I got right to work on our Italian getaway. There was a bank holiday coming up at the end of the month, and that would give us at least a three day weekend. If I could just get her to skive off work the Friday before, we'd be set.

Italy. I'd been there for press, but never for a holiday or to film. There were a few seaside spots that popped up instantly in my research, and after scrolling through endless travel blogs, I landed on the most quaint little villa on the island of Capri. The waters were a deep blue, much like her eyes, and the specks of sunlight that reflected off it reminded me of her golden freckles. Yes, Capri would be where Elle would finally get her sun. I made the arrangements that evening, finally crawling into bed at nearly three in the morning.

***

At the end of the week, I made my way to Elle's flat early enough to get dinner started for our date. A quick text to Rob confirmed for me that Lily was spending the weekend with him, which at least brought me a little ease. I'd not yet come face to face with her, and I feared she'd take a swing at me the moment I did. Something told me she'd easily break my nose.

I wanted to make something new for Elle, just as Lily had suggested taking her somewhere new. If we were supposed to be building up our relationship from the start, brand new experiences were a perfect way to go; I hoped we'd fall in love all over again.

The ride over was a nightmare. The rain was chucking down in sheets, so much so that I was almost soaked through just walking in from my car. I sent Elle a text to call me when she got to the station so I could pick her up; she'd surely fall ill walking in such a downpour.

In her tiny kitchen, I set to work on slicing the mushrooms I'd brought, along with an onion. As the evening wore on, the vegetable lasagna I was pulling together took form, and I was able to set it in the oven. It felt like Elle was taking an awfully long time getting back from work, and a shred of anxiety built in my chest.

Then a clap of thunder was followed by the creak of an opening door, and I turned to see her standing in her entryway, sopping wet. She was a right sorry sight, and I shivered just looking at her. As she went to work on pulling her shoes off, I ran to her bathroom to grab a towel.

She was trying so hard not to soak her floors, but it was inevitable. I wrapped the towel around her shoulders and rubbed her arms up and down. "Why didn't you call?"

"Phone i-is dead." Her teeth clicked with a chill as rogue strands of hair stuck to her face, which still looked breathtakingly beautiful.

"How is it none of your makeup ran?"

"Waterproof, d-duh." She scrunched her nose before moving past me into her bedroom.

I heard her shower turn on from the kitchen, and it took every fucking ounce of me not to ask if I could join her. My pants grew tight around the middle, and I forced my mind to think of a slew of unappealing images to try to ease the tension. Once good to go, I set about finishing up the place settings so everything was ready the moment she came out.

When Elle emerged from her bedroom, she still looked chilled, and I raised my eyebrows at her.

"I'm worried you're going to be ill by morning."

"I'll be fine. It's May. Who gets a cold in May?"

"Millions of people get colds in May. You can catch something literally at any time of year."

"Oh, stop. I'll be fine." She swatted my worry away with a flick of her hand. "This looks incredible."

"Wanted to make something new for us. It's got mushrooms, spinach, some squash, and of course, lots of cheese."

"I love cheese."

"I know." My smile reflected hers, at least until she reached for the bottle of wine I had out. "Oh no, I've got to put that away."

"What? Why?" Her face twisted up and her eyes sent me a questioning stare.

"Because it'll suppress your immune system."

With a roll of her eyes she muttered, "Okay, dad."

"You into that kind of thing now?"

Her eyes went wide as saucers. "Ew. Do not EVER say that again."

"You said it, love."

"You knew what I meant."

I threw up my hands in surrender. "Listen, I thought maybe this was a new thing you were trying out."

Her saucers narrowed to mere slits. "I hate you."

"I don't believe that."

A sweet sigh parted her lips, but rather than retort, she placed a forkful of lasagna into her mouth. The smile that pulled on her face told me she loved it. And me.

***

After dinner that evening, we popped in a movie and eventually fell asleep on her sofa. I woke up in the middle of the night, a terrible strain in my neck, and decided to move us into her bedroom. I'd missed being able to hold her so closely, so dearly, and as I scooped her from the couch, her body turned into mine, and all felt like it was back to the way it should be.

In the morning, her alarm blared incessantly at eight. I felt her arm flail across my chest to find it until the beeping finally stopped. She then rolled back over with a groan. I turned to her, drawing her near.

"What's wrong, love?"

But rather than speak, she shook her head, and then it clicked.

I tried to suppress the smug tone of my voice. "You're not feeling well, are you?"

"I'm fine," she croaked out.

"You're not. Stay here." I kissed the top of her head and untangled myself from her.

In her kitchen, I boiled a kettle of water and rifled through Lily's tea selection for something that would be beneficial. She had a box of lemongrass tea that boasted antiviral properties, so I stuck the bag in a mug, filled it with hot water, and drizzled a little honey in it. It smelled fucking awful, but I took a swig regardless to see if it needed more honey. She was going to hate it.

In her room, she had the duvet pulled all the way over her head.

"Perk up, love. Brought you a warm beverage."

She slowly lowered the duvet for me to see her face. Her eyes had all the suspicion in the word built in them. "Absolutely not."

"You don't even know what it is."

"If it were coffee, you would've said so."

"Come on, love. It's not that bad. I tried it. It's a true, proper cuppa."

"Fine, then make yourself a cuppa."

"Oh, er, well, I don't want to waste all of Lily's tea, and—"

"Bullshit." But a particularly painful sounding cough followed, and she reluctantly held out her hands for the mug. As she sipped it, her face morphed from one disgusted frown to another. Yet she finished the entire thing; it was more than I would've had.

She placed the empty mug on her bedside table and got out of bed. When she started pulling on her dance clothes, a strange mixture of jealousy, anger, and insecurity filled my head.

"You sure you're alright to go to dance?"

"I'll take it easy; besides, a little workout will help me feel a bit better. And I missed so much of it when I was back home. I don't let much keep me away now." Her voice sounded much improved, but I could tell by the ways she was moving her body felt stiff.

"Right, well, I can drive you at least." I hoped Jasper would be there to see me pull up with her. My desire to punch him in his arrogant fucking face took over my mind far too many times; I told myself to bring that up with Lisa at our next session.

"It's fine. I like the walk—"

It was my turn. "Bullshit. Don't lie to me, Elle."

She turned to me, her composure completely calm. "I'm not lying to you. I do like the walk, and you didn't let me finish. What good would it do to have you possibly run into Jasper? We're not friends anymore, and there's literally no reason for you two to ever have to be in the same vicinity."

But there was. "Okay. You're right. Sorry, love." I got out of bed and kissed her on her forehead. It was a little warm, but I knew nothing I said was going to stop her from going to her classes, and I figured a change of subject was due. "We've got three houses to look at this afternoon with my realtor, Ben. Any one in particular you liked the most?"

A new smile spread across her lips. "From the pictures he sent us, I really liked the second one. It crossed off a lot of the things we both had on our list of wants, and it seems to be an ideal location. Plus, I mapped it out and it's not too far from Rob and Lily."

"You think she'll ever let me be in the same room as her again?"

"Give it time. She'll come around." Elle leaned forward into me, and I wrapped my arms snuggly around her.

***

While Elle was at dance, I made all of the calls I needed to make in order to ensure the process of buying our new home would run as easily as it could. If it were just me going on the deed, it'd be no issue as I could just buy it outright, but I wanted to show Elle that I was in this forever, and having her own equal parts of our home would be a step towards that. We'd have to meet with a mortgage broker, but just having my name as one of the buyers was enough to clear us for more than enough in terms of a mortgage. It's all very tedious shit, so I won't bore with the details, but that's part of being an adult.

She returned to her flat early in the afternoon, jumped right into the shower, and emerged looking renewed and fresh as ever.

"Feeling better?"

"Better than this morning. Dance always does the trick." She grasped my awaiting hand and walked out to my car with me.

All of the houses we were looking at were located in suburbs of London, just as my current one. It's always been ideal to be short drive from downtown, but still have the quieter qualities of being just outside the city. Ben was waiting outside the first home, located in the heart of West Hampstead.

"Good to see you, Ben." I extended my hand to him. "This is my girlfriend, Elle."

She took his awaiting hand in hers. "Nice to meet you."

"You as well. I think this one is going to be pleasing to both of you." He led us into the home and toured us around it. It was big, bigger than my current place, and something about it just didn't translate from the photos we'd seen. Ben had left us alone for a moment to discuss it.

"Well?" I tried to get a read from Elle's eyes.

"I'm sorry, but I didn't really love this one...did you?"

"Don't apologise. I'm not in love with it either."

"It's big."

"I was thinking the same. I imagine you'd want something with a bit more charm?"

She nodded. "This one feels a little too modern."

"Then we are on the exact same page. On to the next?"

She smiled at me, and we left the home in West Hampstead for someone else.

Elle and I followed Ben to the next home, a charming three bedroom terrace house right on the edge of Dulwich.

Ben looked to Elle as he turned the key in the door. "Jude said you commute into London every day?"

"Yes. A reasonable commute would be great."

"Spot on. There's a Tube station just under a ten minute walk from here, and that'll get you into the city in about thirty minutes."

She glanced over to me. "That's a little less than it takes now, which would be awesome."

Ben brought us in, and from the moment we stepped over the threshold, this feeling came over me that that house was it. I felt this excited buzz jumping between Elle's hand and my own, and I felt she loved it as much as I did. It had everything both of us wanted: exposed brick for her, a large kitchen for me, and even a lovely garden for mum. This time when Ben left us to discuss, both of us were beaming.

"This is really lovely, Jude."

"It checks all the boxes. And there's plenty of natural light."

"Unlike the last one, this one lives up to the pictures we saw."

"You want to tell Ben we can skip the last one?" I asked.

She wavered for a second. Elle was always one to exhaust every option, but something seemed to come over her. "Yeah, let's go back to my apartment and just look over all of the details. If we need to end up seeing the third one, we could always reschedule."

I took her face in my hands and set my lips on hers. "We're going to own this home, Elle. Together." I felt her lips smile against mine.

"And you just kissed a woman with a cold, meaning you'll be the one forced to drink tea soon." She winked at me as she pulled away, and I swear it took everything in me not to ask her to marry me in that instant.

***

Back at her flat, we sat down with all of the housing paperwork in front of us. I thought the conversation we were about to have would be easy, would be something that would bring us together. But Elle had yet to see the price of the home we both fell in love with (something I was entirely to blame for), and once that was on the table, we slipped far too easily back into an issue that I'd thought we'd resolved, and once again it felt as if my future was slipping through my fingers.

A/N: Hi!

Please leave your suggestions for the soundtrack for this chapter here :) I'll pick the top three soon!

This chapter was strangely hard to write. I had so many ideas I wanted to get out, and then I ended up needing to push two of them to later parts of this book. I've also had a cold for what feels like forever and was just having a hard time wrapping my head around this chapter. But it's here now, so yay! (side note: I'm no expert in London geography; I did a tiny bit of research but there are far more neighborhoods just outside London than I could imagine 😂 I'm open to suggestions to changing the locations of the houses Elle&Jude looked at if those places seem strange!)

Come say hi on Instagram! I've been trying to be a lot more active there. My username is novels_and_coffee ☺️

Please vote and comment and chat with me! Regardless of how crazy life gets, getting to share my words with you and interact with you is still my favorite part of spending so much time crafting my stories ❤️

Have a lovely weekend,
L