Grian's POV

I wake up with bandages on my wrists.

I don't remember putting them on me.

I think I passed out...

Maybe I did too many cuts this time.

But if I passed out, who put the bandages on my-

Shit.

I sit up immediately, reaching under my pillow. There's nothing.

"Looking for this?" Someone asks me, my head turning without hesitation.

It's Xisuma, holding my small knife in his hands as he sits by the door. He looks upset, disappointed even. Great, it just has to be him who found out.

"Give that back." I snap.

"And let you keep hurting yourself? No."

I don't even think before I jump at X, tackling him to the ground and trying to take the knife back off of him. The Admin has quick reflexes, and throws it across the room, before rolling over and pinning me to the ground.

"Why do you have to intervene with everything I do?!" I yell, struggling against his firm grip on me.

"Because I love you and I'm not going to let this continue!"

"It's none of your business!" I snap "Just stay out of it and let me make my own choices."

"Usually I leave you be, but to think I'm gonna let you harm and injure yourself is pushing it Gri."

"Let me go, and get out of here." I growl

Xisuma looks like he's struggling, not physically but emotionally. Almost like it hurts him to do this.

"I won't." He tells me stubbornly, holding his ground. I glare at him, both of us knowing he's chosen the hard way.

"Fine"

I blast Xisuma with magic, slamming him backwards into the wall. I get up as quickly as I can, but he's already up too, irises glowing bright purple.

"Don't make me do this. We can get this over with the easy way, alright? I just want to help you."

"Leave me alone. That's the easy way." I growl

"I hate to do this." he sighs, snapping his fingers. And I suddenly can't move. I'm stuck exactly where I am, floating about 3 inches off the ground, and no matter how hard I struggle I can't budge.

"I HATE YOU!" I scream, lashing out at the Admin. Xisuma looks so hurt by those words, but I don't care anymore. "I HATE YOU! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!"

"I know you hate me. That's ok." X says softly, though he's unable to conceal the sadness in his voice.

This calmness, this lack of anger... It makes me furious. I want him to be angry at me. I want him to yell at me and lose his temper too.

But he just won't.

"But I want to keep you safe, and I'm afraid this is the only way to do it."

Still unable to move, I feel a dizziness come over me. My vision is going blurry, and I'm struggling to stay conscious.

I look up at X with one last glare, full of anger, hurt and betrayal.

"Good luck with that."

When I wake up, I'm at Xisuma's base. Directly above my head is a big, circular window, the only one in the room. Sitting up, I see there's a bed, which I'm lying on, two beanbags in a corner, a table at the other end of the room, and a chest of drawers.

There's also a certain Admin sitting on the end of the bed.

"Why am I here."

"Because I can't trust you to be anywhere else by yourself."

"You can't just keep me here."

"I know. But I'm not letting you go anywhere else without someone there to make sure you're ok."

I don't respond, merely scowling at him.

"I don't understand you." I eventually say "You're trying to help someone you'd be better off without."

"What do you mean? I'm not better off without you, that's why I want to help you!"

"That's what everyone says."

"And everyone means it."

I don't respond, knowing he's just saying that.

"I'm gonna leave you for now, alright?"

I stay silent.

"It's ok, I'm going to fix things, I promise." Xisuma tells me, giving me a comforting hug.

And I don't say it out loud, but I think it makes me feel a little better.

Xisuma's POV

I'm very reluctant to leave Grian. Despite assuring myself that he'd be ok, that there's nothing there he can hurt himself with, it just seems like a bad idea to leave him alone.

Luckily for me, I happened to crash into Joe on my way out.

"Ow"

"Sorry"

"No problem, I should've told you I was coming. I figured you wouldn't want to leave Grian alone." Joe tells me with a shrug

"Are... are you a mind reader or something?" I ask

"No. I've just known you and Grian for 15 years and guessed you'd need help." He laughs

"I appreciate it. Thanks."

Continuing on my way, I sigh in relief. If anyone could make Grian feel better, it's Joe. He's been helping Hermits through struggles or panic attacks since Season 2, and I'm certain he can comfort Grian and try to get him to stop self harming.

I'm suddenly afraid I took the wrong approach. I wasn't sure what to do when Grian started lashing out at me, so putting him in my base where he'll be safe was my first idea. He's not going to be left alone, I'm sure Joe and the others can stay with him when I can't.

It's difficult trying to unban someone and help someone who's hurting themselves at the same time. Especially when one of the reasons they're hurting themselves is because I banned that person, which ended up contributing to their greif.

It leaves you with a bit of a guilty conscience that's hard to ignore.

Sitting down with a heavy sigh at my laptop, I enter the same commands I've been trying to use for a year and a half now.

/un-ban player [Ezra_Void]

/teleport player [Ezra_Void] to [Xisuma_Void]

It never works, no matter what way I put it in. The same message always comes up.

Player [Ezra_Void] can not be found.

When that happens, it usually means they're dead or in an unreachable dimension, like the Banished Realm. Considering it's been 18 months, it's most likely the former,

With everything else going on, I'm really not in the mood to see another message telling me my brother's as good as dead. When the commands don't work, I'm about to leave when I see what's on the screen.

Player [Ezra_Void] can not be teleported

Player [Ezra_Void] Server ID: Unknown

Player [Ezra_Void] Status: Alive

This is a lot more information than it's ever given me. But I don't care, it's the last line that surprises me.

"Oh my god..." I mumble, unable to believe this.

He's alive.