Sooraj

I couldn't believe what I had done! I had definitely fallen for the matured woman that consoled me yesterday. I couldn't believe that I had told her everything about my past, things that I had probably even hidden from my best friend. And Siya, she understood it all, she made me feel like someone a I could trust again, someone with whom a I could fall in love with. She invoked the feelings inside me again, the ones which I was sure to have locked up deep within. I wanted to hold onto that feeling. I wanted to feel loved, because somehow this thing with Siya seemed different. And yet, somehow I had pushed her away today. I knew I had disappointed her, again, but I did not know how to push these feelings away. I wanted to but somehow I felt helpless. I knew once I told her that Rohit would come pick her up her anger would explode, but she couldn't expect me to leave her stranded on that deserted road, I had to make sure she got home safe. I had immediately called up Rohit and as soon as I had asked him if he could pick up Siya for me he had agreed. I knew he had read in between the lines and knew that something definitely was cooking up between us, but he didn't say anything and I was glad he didn't because I wouldn't have had any answers to his questions at the moment. I knew now that she would reach home safe. I sighed and left my office after a few uneventful hours of toil.

I freshened up and relaxed in my loose worn out shirt and trousers that I usually wore at home and crashed on the couch of my living room switching between random channels on the television. The music blaring out from that entertainment box hardly had my attention but it definitely seemed like a great option as a stress buster that is until I heard the doorbell chime. I frowned as I wasn't expecting anyone this late but the frown changed to shock as my eyes fell upon the visitor, it was none other than Siya. Her eyes were quite puffed up and red which definitely meant that she had been crying, I slapped myself inwardly for the outcome my behaviour had done today! I couldn't help myself any longer to the sight in front of me and I pulled her into a tight hug, 'I'm sorry I had to cancel at the last moment! I'm sorry!' I mumbled rather inaudibly but I guess she heard me because her tiny fists pushed my chest quite hardly, her forehead creased and her now red eyes displayed anger, definitely directed at me. I moved aside to let her in so that we could talk it out calmly, I hoped my reading about her being matured was right at this point!

'So?' By the time I had shut the door behind me, Siya had already turned around facing me, with her hands on her hips and anger etched on her face. I tried to act as normal as possible, 'So what?' I heard her let out a soft chuckle which I assumed was sarcastic. 'I'd get straight to the point like I normally like, things were great between us till you dropped me to office. So what went wrong after that?' I took slow steps towards her trying to close the distance between us, 'Nothing went wrong Siya, I already told you I got stuck up with work!'
She nodded her head as if she understood, but my heart knew there was going to be more of this word war between us today, 'So you called up Rohit and asked him to drop me home, as a favour to you?' I raised my eyebrows in shock as I digested those words that had just dropped out of her mouth, favour?! Where were these words coming from? 'I did not ask anyone..' But my explanation was cut short as she continued her word rage, 'Yaa I know, it just randomly struck Rohit that you wouldn't be able to come pick me up so he decided to help you. I know I get it.' I sighed exhausted at the way things were turning out suddenly. I looked in front of me to find Siya's eyes shut tightly and if I could see it right tears had started to maker their way down her eyes, along those beautiful soft cheeks, I shook my head and put those thoughts to rest instantly. 'You know what, I get everything, I understand everything and I'm even sorry for everything. In fact I shouldn't have come here in the first place.'
I was confused as she simply uttered those words. I was wanting more of this rage, I deserved it and here she was just letting it all go. I couldn't let her go. I knew it in my heart. I wanted to hear it all out. Her anger, her confusion. Her hurt. Because all this, I knew would open up the one thing that I wanted from her, her love. I just didn't think I deserved it. Just as she started making her way out of my house I tugged at her arm and pulled her back, making her stop, 'Siya, I won't let you go.' She didn't even bother to turn around and face me this time before saying, 'Let me go Sooraj, I shouldn't have come here!'
'I don't know about that, but I'm glad you did.'
It was then that I saw her eyes for the first time since she was here. It spoke volumes. I didn't even need her voice to convey her feelings to me, her eyes managed to do that quite well. 'Siya..' I murmured softly as I saw the intensity of her feelings that her eyes held. I moved nearer to her closing the distance between us as I gently raised my left hand to wipe the tears that seemed to be constantly flowing out through her eyes. She closed her eyes as soon as my hand touched her skin. The touch sent different currents through our bodies, I could feel it in mine and could sense it in hers through her body language. 'Shh! Stop crying Siya, your tears are hurting me.' She opened her eyes as soon as I had said that out loud and she voiced, 'If they hurt you so much why didn't you come?' I looked deep into her eyes for a very long time, I guess neither of us was in a hurry to get an answer to that one. And in that moment I knew that all I wanted was to be with this woman in front of me forever. If I could have it. 'I don't know how to.. I don't even know if I can.. I just know that I want to.' I couldn't even manage to spill out what I had wanted to say. I don't even know if she understood what I meant because all I wanted to say was that I had no idea how to fall in love with someone again, that somehow I had no clue if I could manage to do that but my heart knew just one thing right now that I wanted to fall in love with her, completely, irrevocably and hopelessly. Wow! That sounded crystal clear in my head at least! I just hoped she'd make out what I wanted to say through those broken sentences of mine.

She cupped my face in her hands and gently kissed my forehead, 'I want to too!' I looked longingly in her eyes before touching her forehead with mine. My hands wandered through her hair holding her steady in position when I heard her whisper, 'Just promise me you'd never behave this way again!' I didn't know what else to say so I just ended up nodding in the end. I pulled her into a hug and held onto her tightly. I felt my face light up into a smile as I felt happy and at home after a very long time. I felt wanted and loved. After what felt like hours, I gently pulled away and held her head softly so that she'd face me. I looked deep into her eyes asking for her permission mutely and finally ended up touching my lips gently with hers. Wanting to do this since a very long time, the time stood still as we continued being lost in the moment as we drank and tasted each other gently for the first time.