09 : 01, September 25, 2018

English Period

Haha, hello school.

Call me abad student, but I don't care, I really need to type this down before I get a shit ton of stares from my classmates for breaking down all of a sudden

If you've seen, I've posted a long ass essay about love, well, not really an essay bu whatever.

Its weird that  I'm still desperate for love. I thought I'd stop once I turn 12, but noooo it just got worse.

Fuck you hormones— I think.

But I think thats a part of being human, having emotions

Gives me more reasons o hate being human.

Its so weird that I'm this desperate. Is it because of my lack of attention from others?

Lack of affection?

Lack of love?

Well I'll be damned

I'm such a desperate person that I'm becoming so blind

Its weird that my family and relatives cover me with love

But why is it that it always feels so empty?

Like, the love and affection wasn't made for me.

That time spent and the attention wasn't supposed to be spent on me

Like I'm unworthy of their time that eventually everything else turns empty

Its weird huh?

Im confused too, but then again, this is life

And its irritating

There's so much things I hate about my life,

And about everything else specifically

But out of all the things

Why is it my main problem in life is love, affection and attention?

God, I'm such a bitch for being like this

For one thing, I was never supposed to be like this

My mom did all that she can for me, yet look at me

I'm such a rebellious piece of shit,

That kid who's so innocent in front of her mother, but a devil to others

That kid who fakes all her accounts just to say that she doesn't have any social media accounts, when in reality, she has more than 10 accounts all combined,

I've always liked to imagine what my life would be if I had someone to love me,

Like a mental roleplay of some-sort

And I always imagine it everyday for some reason, from the time I wake up until I sleep

But then again,  no one else knows of this,

They'll think I'm so desperate that I've became crazy about it

Its so annoying, yet so satisfying to think of

Ill cut this short,

Its already Character Ed and I need to download some shit before I get exposed for not doing anything.

09 : 16 , September 25, 2018

Character Ed.