Kurome's Announcement

KA: I've come to make an announcement: Issei Hyoudou's a bitch ass mother fucker. He pissed on my fucking girlfriend. That's right, he took his devil fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking girlfriend, and he said his dick was *makes an impersination of Issei's dick THIS BIG. And I said "that's disgusting!" So I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com: "Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick, *brings out a walnut* it's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller." And guess what, here's what my dong looks like: PFFFFFFFFGJT. 

KA then creates a bomb that looks like a dick.

KA: That's right baby. All point, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like two balls and a bong.

The bomb then charges up and shoots towards the moon.

KA: He fucked my girl so guess what, I'm gonna FUCK THE EARTH. THATS RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LAZER PISS. Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth, I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on the MOOOOOON! How do you like that, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss d r o p l e t s hit the fucking earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!

Who Posted What?

Will: *slams open a door* WHO POSTED IT?!?!

Noire: Posted what?

Ren: Yeah, what are you talking about?

Katarina: Yeah Will, you're not making sense!

Will: WHO... WHO POSTED MY NUDES ON TWITTER DOT COM!!!!

Neptune: *spits out her milk*

Tail Red: Oh come on, Neptune!

Ringo: That's not bad... right...?

Will: Not bad?! Someone posted this all the way on the fucking North Pole! Now everyone's going to know my deepest past regrets!

KA: *starts walking out of the room*

Will: *notices* Where do you think you're going fucker?!

KA: I don't talk to versions of me that pack less then 3 inches.

Will: Oh buddy, you better not have?!

Purifier: Okay, time to stop talking about dick sizes, alright?! This is getting annoying! Will, just leave since you bottom holes are like the nose of this vending machine.

New Years Resolutions

Trapmaster20: Alright everyone! State your new Years resolutions!

IF: Keep living life the way I have been!

Ringo: Either find a way home or convince Shuu to let me marry Akane!

Trapmaster20: Weird.

Ringo: After me and Akane started dating, he's been on my ass 24/7, trying to get me to break up with her.

Katarina: Eat all the sweets in the world!

KA: Kill Rias

Tail Red: Kill Rhea for the messed up shit she had put innocent people through because they didn't have a crest!

Ariel: Kill Ainz Ooal Gown.

Ruby: Live a great life with my powers!

Ophis: Get my peaceful life, which might finally happen this year!

Mythra: I dunno.

Kuro: Same as Ophis, but it's harder to do since I'm with Shido.

Kurome: Have a great school life, and find a way home and marry Sasha

Kurumi: Get home and kill Daisuke.

Luna: Keep Onii-chan safe and get him to notice Raphtalia's feelings!

Purifier: Hopefully put some men in power, and not get killed by my harem!

Ren: Live my new life with my family and daughter! *mumbles* Though I know more kids are coming down the line...

May: Become Hoeen's Champion and Top Coordinator!

Katsuragi: Have fun, and not get on Sensei Wu's bad side

Menou: Kill my Father.

3: Help Leon get married and *mumnles* something that may not happen, stop having him climb up ranks.

Homura: Kill all the Fake Heroes, and rebuild the world. By no matter means necessary.

Yuno: Kill Koro-sensei and hopefully get my life back

Noire: Build the Jura-Tempest Federation with Rimuru!

Futaba: Kill all the sinners in the Capital!

Chris: Fight someone powerful!

Chrome: Find a way to get out of Union Academy and go back to my peaceful life!

Neptune: Sticking with you guys and staying a pain in the author's ass~!