Trigger warning: This chapter contains depictions of self-harm, which may not be suitable for some audiences. Reader discretion is advised. If you or a loved one struggles with self-harm, please text SHOUT to 85258.

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Angela sighed with frustration as she sat lazily in her desk chair. She tried to ignore the knocking as best she could, but it grew louder and louder with each passing moment. Angelia banged her forehead against the desk before cursing under her breath and finally answering.

"What do you want?" she asked, seething underneath, but trying not to boil over.

"Um-um, it's me," a little voice giggled. "It's me, Evelyn!"

Evelyn was Angela's bright little sister. She was fragile and petite for her age, slightly underweight compared to all her other five-year-old peers. But she still stood fierce among the rest, her feisty personality beaming through the curtain of her hazelnut hair as her brown eyes gleamed with innocence.

"And let me guess, you wanna come in?" Angelia asked pointedly, her heart gushing with slight warmth as a small smile crept across her face.

"Yes, please! I got something for you!"

Sighing heavily, Angelia peeled herself from her desk and cracked open the door. Natural light spilled into her bedroom as Evelyn gazed at her, smiling happily while holding a small plant in her hands.

"This is for you!" Evelyn gushed while hopping joyously.

"Damn, that's really nice of you, kid," Angelia replied, her body leaning against the door frame as she took the plant. "Where'd you get it from?"

"I got it from school! You like it?"

"I love it!"

Evelyn shrieked with excitement as Angelia ruffled her hair and let her inside. A musty stench wafted through the air when the door closed behind them. Angelia had no shame when her sister saw the disarray her room was in. Little piles of clothes lay on each side of her bed, while the trash can overflowed with balled-up tissues and scraps of paper, littered with homework notes.

Angela knew she needed to clean up, but ever since the breakup with Charlie, her mind had been a jumbled-up mess; her emotions scattered and tattered like pieces of ripped tapestry, torn at the hems from where a beautiful image once remained.

Evelyn didn't care about the state of the room, though. She was just happy to be making up for lost time after being separated from her all those years ago. Evelyn smiled and sank into the couch beside her sister. Sighing heavily, Angelia wrapped her arms around her as they basked in the warm embrace together.

"Tutu misses you," Evelyn said, breaking through the silence.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah," she giggled. "He was crying last night for you. And ALL the other nights too,"

Tutu was Evelyn's little plushie one of her caseworkers gifted her on the way from their mom's house.

"Damn, I'm sorry I've been away from Tutu," Angela replied. "I had to do homework for school. Remember?"

Evelyn broke from the embrace and turned to face her sister. Placing her hand on Angela's chest, Evelyn said sweetly, "It's ok. Me and Tutu always stay in your heart,"

"Really?" asked Angela.

"Yeah, just like Mimi tell us! No matter what, we always stay in each other's hearts forever!"

Angela's throat choked up with tears as she wrapped Evelyn in another warm hug. The plant that was resting on her nightstand came into her peripheral vision, but it was very blurry. She wished Charlie lived by the same sentiment as her sister did. She wanted Charlie to still hold her close to his heart, as she still does. But he's moved on now. His Facebook status and Instagram page told her so, the many pictures they took and of love confessions now deleted as if she never even existed.

Maybe it wasn't real, she thought to herself one night while doing the unthinkable. Maybe our love, I thought we had, wasn't real to begin with.

It still hadn't crossed her mind that she'd been cheated on, but she still felt Charlie's betrayal deep inside her gut as her mind spun their seemingly perfect love story like a broken record on repeat. Evalyn's tight little squeeze brought Angela from out of her thoughts and back into reality, in which she replied to her sentimental quote, "Yeah, you're right, lil sis. Family always stays in our hearts forever."

"Yup! You, Mimi, and Tutu always gonna be in my heart!"

"That's good to hear, Princess," Angela sniffled while wiping tears from her face. "Let's go check on Tutu."

With that, Angela shrugged into a black hoodie she found in the pile of clothes and picked Evelyn up as they walked out of the room together.

The smell of freshly baked cookies entangled the air with warmth as Mimi smiled kindly, her rosy cheeks dimpling with happiness as she hummed to a rhythm in her head.

"Where have you two been?" Mimi asked when the girls crept into the kitchen behind her.

"I was in Angela's room!" Evelyn gushed with joy as Angela placed her down. "And guess what, Mimi? Guess what?"

"You found a hibernating bear?" Mimi laughed pointedly, alluding to Angela's recent isolation since the breakup with Charlie.

"Nooooo," Evalyn giggled, and Angela laughed at the cuteness of it all. "There's no bear. Only big Sissy, and guess what I did?"

"What'd you do, sweetheart?" Mimi smiled.

"I gave Angela the pretty flower I got from school!"

"Oh, that was really nice of you, my Evy! Did she like it?"

"I loved it," Angela finally chimed in, with Evelyn bouncing with joy and giggling.

Mimi's heart overflowed with such gratitude as she watched the two girls bask in each other's company. This was a dream come true; something Mimi had always wanted to behold ever since hearing her own daughter had overdosed while Evelyn was in her care. The caseworkers couldn't tell for sure how much the event would impact Evelyn long-term. Still, Mimi's unwavering support, her love, and her care assured them that as long as Evy has these around her, and as long as she continues going to therapy, the memories of those events would soon dissipate as love wraps her ever so gently and holds her close.

"Alright, alright, alright, girls!" Mimi laughed as she watched them in a tickling match. "That's enough now, that's enough. A winner has been declared."

Evelyn broke free from Angela's grasp and giggled, "It was me! I win!"

"No, it was totally me," Angela teased, laughing too.

"No, Mimi. No. It was me!"

Chuckling lightly, Mimi held out a plate of the warm cookies she had just baked and replied, "You both win, my angels. Here, cookies for you both."

Shrieking with excitement, Evelyn quickly grabbed a cookie and stuffed it in her mouth. Crumbs were falling from the sides of her cheeks as she thanked Mimi, took another one, and skipped into the living room to retrieve Tutu.

Sighing and shaking her head with amusement, Mimi set the plate down on the counter and got back to work in the kitchen. Angela was moving beside her, their elbows almost touching, as she grabbed a mug from the cabinet, preparing to make tea. Her throat was hoarse from all the crying, but she was determined to hide the severity of her sadness from Mimi, attempting to maintain a facade of strength.

"It's good to see you out again," Mimi spoke gently while reaching for the empty egg container. "I've been worried about you, my baby."

"I'm fine," Angela replied, trying to seem strong. "It's just a breakup. Nobody gives a fuck."

Mimi paused for a bit; her face etched with concern as she stole a quick glance at her granddaughter. It was more than just a breakup. Angela was deeply wounded, her vulnerability palpable in the way she had withdrawn from the world. Mimi's concern for Angela's well-being was not just evident, but tangible, a testament to the depth of their relationship.

Shuffling past Mimi in the cozy, shared kitchen, Angela grabbed the honey from the pantry and poured it into her warm beverage. The steam from her mug crawled lazily up her chin as her auburn hair hung steadily down her shoulders, revealing a white scribbled logo on the back of her hoodie. She cleared her throat in the awkward silence as Mimi still looked at her, concerned, but equally invested with love, and ready to envelope her granddaughter in her arms if she truly desired that.

"I love you, my Nikita," Mimi finally said, breaking through the silence.

Angela's throat swelled with emotion as she paused for a bit, cursing under her breath as a single tear drop fell from her eye. Nikita was the nickname Mimi bestowed on her after a lengthy battle with depression some odd years ago. The nickname meant "conqueror" and "winner", among other things, but Angela no longer felt that way. She'd plunged headlong back into the depths of depression, battling endlessly with a mind that couldn't accept her relationship was over.

"I love you too, Mimi," Angela stammered, her heart half-believing love was even real anymore.

"If you need to talk, or if you need anything at all, I'm always here for you, baby. Ok?"

"Ok,"

With that, Mimi turned to the sink to start the dishes. Grabbing a spoon from the drawer, Angela stirred her tea in infinite circles before dropping the spoon into the soapy, warm water. Upon doing this, though, the sleeve of her hoodie slightly raised, and Mimi gasped with terror.

"Nikita, what is this?" Mimi cried as she gently raised her sleeve and touched the marks on her wrists.

"Nothing," Angela replied while quickly snatching her arm back. "Don't fucking worry about it. It's nothing."

"Angela, we've talked about this before. What do you think the doctors are going to say when they find out you've been doing this again?"

Angela scoffed and tilted her head back, obviously annoyed. "They're not going to give a crap, Mimi, because I'm gonna stop."

"We've talked about this before, Angela. You promised me you'd never do it again after your last hospital visit. I'm trying to keep-"

"I'm gonna stop! Ok?" Angela yelled, cutting her grandmother off.

Mimi's eyes were blazing with tears as a pit of disappointment churned in her stomach. Her only desire was to help Angela and keep her safe, but how could she when her granddaughter kept going back on her word and breaking her promises?

"I love you, Nikita, but I want you to do exactly as you say and not do these things. Have you been taking your meds?"

"Yes," Angela mumbled, looking ashamed.

Feeling bad, Mimi pulled Angela into a hug and held her close.

"I know you just went through something challenging, my love. But you can't hurt yourself like this. I nearly lost you the last time you did this, and I don't ever want you to experience that again."

"I understand," Angela sniffled. "I'll stop. I promise."

"Please mean what you tell me, because if you don't stop, I'll have to tell your doctors about this so we can change your medication again."

"I understand,"

"Ok. I love you, Nikita. I love you a lot,"

They hugged for a few more minutes before Angela grabbed her tea and went to her room. Placing the mug on her nightstand, Angela knelt by her bed and dug for a shoebox underneath. After retrieving it, she pulled a sharp blade and stared at it intently. She had no intentions of stopping; she knew she couldn't let it go.

When the urge consumed her like a lover and the rage washed over her like a wave, she felt she had no other choice but to surrender. The blade licked her skin with an unsettling pleasure, sinking deep into her as if it were the last time they would meet: obsession, beauty, desire. PAIN...

Despite the alluring attraction and her desperate desire to cut away the pain, she remembered her grandmother's words. She wouldn't let it get that far, because the truth was, she hadn't been taking her medication as prescribed and didn't want the doctors to know.

"I'm screwed if they do," she whispered to herself, tears streaming down her face as drops of blood leaked from her wrist. "I can't give this up right now. I don't want to."

She knew that if they found out she was off her meds, they would be disappointed in her. However, it would also reveal an even bigger issue about why she stopped taking them in the first place-a personality she had spent all her recovery healing. Those old wounds had resurfaced again now that Charlie had left, her heart an open chasm bleeding out in affliction.

Leaning against the bed frame, Angela's hair fell down her shoulders as she exhaled deeply, her forehead glistening with sweat as she gazed at the ceiling. She felt relieved after she did it, her arm stinging with pleasure as she hummed quietly. As she closed her eyes, glimpses of the dream she had flickered through her mind like a film being spun and played—the kiss, his voice, his promise to take away all her pain, and how she barely remembered his name.

No, I didn't even get his name, she thought. Fuck. I'm so stupid. What was I even thinking?

She had no clue. She didn't even know why she had the dream in the first place.

Was it real? Was he really something I saw? Is he still there?

She had a million questions racing through her mind, like a bullet darting toward its next victim. She was determined to find out who he was and learn his name, but how could she return to that place again, and how could she be sure he would still be there?