---- [T -> J] ----

T:,,,y r u and Wally armed with hundreds of marshmallows, Dickie's mattress, and a pocket knife
J: Either start stuffing or shut your fucking mouth.

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J: Why do I hear you talking?
T: 'Cause u got ears u dumbass bitch

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T: I hate it when kids scream in public. They have no real problems. It should be me screaming. ME.

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J: Who the fuck invited you?

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T: I see u got stupider
J: I see you still look like a year old corpse.

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J: My eyebrow keeps twitching.
T: It's the government

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T: Today I accidentally gave the bus driver a Yu Gi Oh card instead of my bus pass again
J: I???? Didn't ask?????
J: ...
J: Again?

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J: WHAT THE FUCK?!
T: LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, THE EINSTEIN OF OUR GENERATION

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T: ur drunk
J: J beilve that'z four mE 2 decied

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J: Go the fuck to sleep or I am duct taping you up and throwing your ass into the bathtub.

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T: u suck
J: You swallow.
T: Of course, spitters are quitters

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J: How do you not have a life plan? A day plan?!
T: what makes u think that
J: I once found a note on you that said "put on pants" followed by a question mark.

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T: Oh! Here comes Dickie!
J: Is he wearing airpods??

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J: I would tell you to go fuck yourself, but your ego is so fucking big that you would probably try.

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T: SOAKING UR FOOD IN COFFEE IS MORE EFFICIENT TIME WISE

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J: God released me into the world and now he's hunting me for sport.

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T: I wish I had a lightsaber but instead I have depression

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J: I bumped into a hoe today.
T: wait
T: but you bumped into me today

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T: Self care is drinking three (3) pots of coffee and getting into a knife fight with a god

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J: SOMEBODY STOP THAT ASYMMETRICAL BITCH.

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T: I've had so much coffee. I haven't slept in three (3) days. I can hear colours.

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J: Fix it.
T: Its a ransom note, I don't care about grammar, I'm too tired to
J: There is no excuse for bad grammar.

-—

T: Ur not allowed to be busy ur the only other person awake at the same time as me
T: Wait a sec y r u awake at the same time as me

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J: I couldn't really hear him over video chat but I'm pretty sure he threatened me.

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T: wtf how dare u tell me the truth

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J: Oh. Maybe I'd get that if you used capital letters.
T: i think not

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T: I can't have a crisis- my schedule is already full
J: Right, because you're soo busy.

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J: You're supposed to be the smarter one, but you're the worst texter I've ever seen
T: Listen, buddy, I am so tired

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T: Now that the sun has risen, my body and mind ache in loneliness

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J: Do you really think you can distract me from character development with puns?
T: Depends. Is it working?
J: A little bit.

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T: Joke's on u, I never had a man in the first place, I'm forever alone and I crave affection
J: No one will ever love you, Timmy, you caffeinated slug.

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T: sorry i was late i can't conceptualize time

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J: Can you pass the milk?
J: Wait
J: Hoe don't do it
T: Can you pass ur classes?

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T: I'm gay
T: Good! I meant good. I mean I am very gay but there's no reason I would've said that randomly since we all are, especially Wally, wow he's a disaster, but it's not like I have room to talk

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J: Are you watching Good Morning Gotham?
T: Metropolis Today

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T: Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn't allow it. 4:00, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one; 5:30, Jazzercise; 6:30, dinner with me - I can't cancel that again; 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing... I'm booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling, and slip slowly into madness.

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J: I think I'm a good influence, in that case.
T: Sounds fake but ok

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T: That... went according to plan
J: No, it didn't.
T: No, it didn't

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J: Not only is that statement factually incorrect, but grammatically as well.

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T: YOUR SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE

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J: This is hard for me
J: Which is a first, because I usually handle everything so very well.

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T: god I hate this

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J: Where ya been, Timmy?
T: Oh, just walking around, contemplating my failure.
T: Wishing for the sweet release of eternal extinction.
J: Great, don't come back

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T: what's your greatest weakness?
J: I can be uncooperative.
T: Give me an example
J: No.

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J: Dickie wants me to ask if you had any trouble with your homework
T: Piece of cake
J: You didn't do it, did you
T: I don't even know where my pen is

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T: Have you watched the news today? Some idiot tried to fight a squid at the aquarium.
J: Well maYBE THE SQUID WAS BEING A DICK OKAY?

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J: Our can opener is broken.
T: So it's a cant opener?
J: I showed this to Bruce and he says he's evicting you, pack your bags bitch

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T: ur brother would throw himself in front of a moving car for u! Y?! ur an asshole!
J: Dickie-Bird would throw himself in front of a moving car for fun.

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J: Don't buy a trenchcoat. We all know the ramifications of buying a trenchcoat.
T: guess what I bought

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T: not even a minute! only 60 seconds!

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J: I've seen stalks of corn with a better physique than you.

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J: How do Dickie-Bird and Walls usually get out of these messes?
T: They don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels the first one out.
J: Fuck, that's brilliant
T: Agreed

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T: all jackets should have inside pockets its the best feature and everyone else needs to get on board. whats better than reaching inside ur jacket to retrieve Secret Objects from ur Secret Pocket? nothing. nothing. ur gonna store your wallet and weapons and cool rocks u find in ur outside pocket? where they can fall out?? where someone can swipe them? like an idiot? get inside pockets

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J: So what are you going to do about it?
T: Probably something stupid

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T: My life is a train wreck that's on fire but somehow still moving. I have the right to scream outside at 2 am.

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J: Do you think there's a God?
T: Well, somebody's out to get me.

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T: u need to pick ur battles
J: I'm picking all of them.

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J: Die
T: Don't tell me what to do

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T: 4/20? I think u mean 1/5. Reduce ur fractions, did u even learn math?

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J: Gotta love when you get up in the middle of the night to get water but instead get shot

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T: Interior crocodile alligator
T: I drive a Chevrolet
T: movie theater

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J: Ha, bitch you thought.

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T: sO REMEMBER HOW I THINK THERES TWO ROBINS
J: Your still on about that?
T: i meT ONE OF THEM AGAIN
J: Sure you did, buddy
J: Now why don't you lay down, and maybe sleep for six years? Or at least until the hallucinations stop?
T: Fuck off, im not making this shit up

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