---- [T -> J] ----

T: The thing about Those White People Baby Names is the way they so poetically express the tension between individuality and ridged conformity. These parents all want to name their kid something unique because they value the concept of uniqueness, yet simultaneously they abhor it in practice... ergo, 30 different spelling variations on the most normative names possible. This homogeneity-masquerading-as-diversity is inseparable from capitalist consumer culture and is in fact directly analogous to the experience of walking into a grocery store and being asked to "choose" between 50 varieties of toothpaste with the same exact ingredients, 12 brands of laundry detergent, etc. And while you could argue that in economics having 12 different brands is a good thing because it prevents monopolies and high-prices with no alternatives, the fact is that that isn't true; those 12 companies are owned by 3 parent companies and slowly raise prices over time either way, and that's without even going into labour rights or how over-production hurts the environment

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J: HOW can you SAY that

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T: Can ur ""science"" explain why it rains?? Didn't think so. That's cause its black magic

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J: There's a new virus going around
J: it's called "Feelings"
J: Don't catch it

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T: powermove: when someone says they like your shoelaces give them your shoelaces
T: alternatively, actually steal the president's shoelaces, but deny it

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J: Why are you here?
T: I simply do not vibe with my father

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T: my body is not a temple, it's Luigi's mansion

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J: Listen, TIM
J: my emotions have three outlets
J: haughty silence
J: uncontrollable rage
J: and alcoholism, ok? So shut the fuck up and pick one

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T: If I have twin daughters, I'll name one Kate
T: And I'll name the other "DupliKate"
T: If I have twin boys, I'll name one Pete.
T: The other will be RePete

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J: Hey Timmy, you dumb bitch! Gimmie an oyster shell and you might not be killed!

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T: My modus operandi is dial up the suicidal and break the knob off

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J: If the apocalypse comes, beep me

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T: She irons her jeans! She's evil!

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J: It's not the closets fault you exited before the fashion sense could come out with you

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T: oh you love me?? name 3 meds that didn't work for me

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J: Is the equipment secure?
T: Check
J: Weapons loaded?
T: Check
J: Did you have breakfast?
T: That's not on the checklist??
J: I added that because I care about you stupid bitch

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T: Dear God, I'm sorry for the time that I almost murdered Jasson in cold blood on the kitchen floor. I aim to do better next time and kill him in the bathroom.

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J: asked Wally how smitten he really was with Dickie and all he said is "I am in deep smit"

---- [T -> J] ----

T: On all levels except physical I can do a backflip

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J: I love you, be good.
T: I hate u, I won't.

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T: Heard Wally and Roy doing a bit in the other room;
T: "You wanna explain why I found a lighter in your room?"
T: "I set a nursing home on fire"
T: "Oh thank god I thought you were smoking weed"

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J: You looked really out of it at the time so I just want to inform you that you spent 10 minutes staring at the ceiling and then said "Unlockable could mean either "able to be unlocked" or "not able to be unlocked" and Dickie carried you to bed

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T: please do not use words like "policemen" or "policewomen." Use gender-neutral terms like "tools of the capitalist bourgeoisie and enemy of the people"
J: I think you mean gender-neutral terms like "pigs." If you're gonna go, go all the way dude

-—

J: I need you
T: For?
J: Ever

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T: I didn't even like u when I realized I was in love with u

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J: I'm so sick of being thwarted. I swear to you, my next plot shall not go comically awry

---- [T -> D] ----

T: My boyfriend eats fruit without peeling it and I need to know if he has sociopathic tendencies
D: There are no studies on that so your fine
T: why do u know that off the top of your head
D: Wally eats carrots like corn

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D: Jasons at that age where boys only think about one thing.
T: Girls?
D: Grenades.

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T: look, I'm not that fond of taking big risks
T: y don't you send Jasson and a dummy instead? They're both expendable

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T: His hair!
T: It's just so fluffy, I wanna wrap him up in blankets and just pet him

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T: His stupid pun made me see red and I hated him even more than I could ever imagine but then he looked at me and I realized I'm in love with him
T: What does it mean
D: It means
D: Ur gay

---- [T -> J] ----

T: You have a thing at 2:00 PM so you set a reminder for 1:00 PM because you don't want to be late, but you should eat by 12:00 PM. That means you should start preparing food by 11:30 AM, but you want to double-check or confirm the appointment before 11:00 AM before everyone goes to lunch. So if you want to finish your other tasks by 10:00 AM, you ought to start at 8:00 AM, which means you've got to wake up at 7:30 AM and you may as well get ready to go out then ahead of time, and that's how something that starts at 2:00 PM effectively starts at 7:00 AM and lasts the entire day.

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J: Many people that appear "cool" actually suffer from feelings of inadequacy.
J: Not me.
J: I have those feelings without appearing cool at all.

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T: I love you
J: I love you more
T: Impossible! I love you the most!
J: You know what this means, right?
T: Yeah...
T: ONE OF US
J: IS A FUCKING LIAR

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J: I can't believe it
J: I honest to god cannot believe this is happening to me
J: I kissed you; we're HUGGING
J: I am fucking HUGGING Timothy Drake
J: And you kissED ME ON THE CHEEK
J: I'm dead, I'm gone, this is too much
T: Jason we've been dating for nearly a year
J: And we're DATING

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J: So Roy woke me up at like 5am like an asshole cause he had an early morning class and is an asshole, and we got to talking about how he's still as bad at college as he was when he started and literally everyone we know needs to hear the story just told me
J: In his exact words it goes as follows;
J: "When I was 20, I was utterly enamoured with my music theory professor- who, by the way, was 21 at the time? Youngest professor Ever- It's like, the most unsexy subject, but he was fucking gorgeous and the way this guy talked about scales had me losing my mind. Anyway, there was this other guy who always sat next to me and found excuses to talk. He was annoying as shit but he shared his notes with me when I daydreamed and smoked in class- which I did a lot of, cause looking at this professor for 50 minutes it was impossible not to. Still, though, the guy was persistent, so Dickie told me to "make a deal with him" and I did. If he could ask the professor a question which he answered incorrectly, I'd agree to one (1) date."
T: oh shit dawg
J: "This dude spent half the class thinking it over, then he finally asked "Will he go out with me tonight?" and gestured at me in front of the entire class. The professor thought about it, watching me struggle to put out my cigarette without everyone in the fucking classroom noticing- that class was full of fucking snitches ok- and then he answered, very decisively, "No."
T: oH?
J: "And the boy, thinking himself very clever, asked me when I'd like to have dinner and I said I'd tell him later. After class, I loitered around for a minute to finish my cig, since I'd been caught already anyway, and I ended up asking why he'd said No with such certainty. Do you know what this motherfucker did? He looked up at me from sorting papers on his desk and said, "because you're having dinner with me."
T: W H A T
J: "and that was the night I started sleeping with my music theory professor, Mr. Rathaway. I passed his class with a perfect 100%, not cause I was sleeping with him, but because he helped me study and also I stole a copy of the exam answer sheet from his apartment one night."
T: ABSOLUTE MADLAD

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