To say I was happy would be a massive understatement. Having a peaceful Sunday at the Beach where Elysium and I spend hours building sand castles, playing in the water, eating ice creams and then dinner at a restaurant - courtesy of My El.

I was definitely very much content as we headed home late in the night, stars mapping the dark sky and the moon shining down on us. Elysium, already asleep in the backseat. It was everything I could have wanted as a weekend with my family.

I leaned my head against the window as Eli drove.

Deep in thoughts.

I wished Eli had joined us in the ocean at the beach. But he never liked swimming. He never said why. He just didn't like it. Not to mention he's always in turtlenecks or jackets, suits or hoodies.

And he has tattoos. I know that much having caught glimpses of them here and there depending on his outfit. Perhaps he was personal about them and that's why he didn't show it. That's why he most probably didn't like swimming or being shirtless either.

I would love to see it though. I could already map out his broad muscular frame and back whenever he wore tight turtlenecks that framed his biceps and abs but his tattoos I'm sure were a work of art on their own.

Alas, he was being secretive about it. And I respected him too much to prod. When he felt ready he would show me. Hopefully.

At some point,I remember falling asleep and I vaguely remember Eli opening the rear door and fetching Elysium before coming to carry me.

I knew we were back home by now but I didn't move, wanting to simply bask in the familiar warmth of his embrace as he carried me inside. I kept my eyes closed, feigning sleep even if my heart ached at the thought that one day, we might not have this.

Yes, Eli and I would always be best friends but I wanted so much more. What if one day, he finally falls for someone.. We wouldn't be able to be as close as now. The thought of him being with another woman made my heart ache but I loved Eli. And I would never guilt trap him into leaving a relationship especially if that made him happy all because I fell for him.

He was still the keeper of my heart. My soul. And dreams. He understood me without words, always read my expression easily and noticed my discomfort no matter what. I couldn't fathom the idea of having such an intimate, vulnerable and emotional connection with another man.

But was it like that for him too? Did it ache for him to think of me with another? I would never know and never ask.

One single misstep could jeopardise someone's relationship or friendship. Mine meant too much for me to risk losing it.

But what if I never confessed and missed my chance? So many people miss their chance at love all because they never took the risk to confess and see where it takes them.

I didn't want to be one of them.

Just as I was about to open my eyes, Eli placed me on my bed. I was so lost in thoughts, I didn't even realise we were already in my room.

Keeping my breath calm, I remained still as he removed my shoes and pulled the blankets over me gently.

"Sweet Dreams, My Little Flame"Eli whispered softly before placing a soft kiss on my forehead.

I waited. Waited for him to leave so I could drown back in my unrequited love for him.

But he didn't leave, instead he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and murmured in Spanish, words that sent my heart tumbling. "Ojalá pudiera decirte cuánto te deseo, cuánto anhelo ver mi anillo en tu dedo, llamarte mi esposa y no tener que marcharme así por la noche. Ojalá pudiera abrazarte, pero, como las estrellas en el cielo nocturno, estás fuera de mi alcance. Solo puedo mirarte con amor, pero nunca abrazarte como quisiera. Te amo, Pequeña Llama. Siempre lo haré."

(Translation in English : If only I could tell you how much I desire you, how much I long to see my ring on your finger, to call you my wife, and not have to leave like this in the night. If only I could hold you, but-like the stars in the night sky-you are out of my reach. I can only gaze at you with love, yet never hold you the way I want to. I love you, Little Flame. I always will.)

I stilled. Completely. Heart pounding. Until he left.

Only then did I open my eyes, staring at the ceiling, processing what I just heard. It.. It wasn't a confession..

Who am I kidding? It damn right was. Eli Castillo just confessed he loved me in Spanish. After all those years.

My eyes flickered with emotions and vulnerability. Confusion and hope. If he really loved me this much, why never confess or say anything? Was he holding back because of the same reasons I was? Have we both stupidly been holding back from loving each other fully because of the fear of losing each other?

I sat up quietly, staring at the Ballerina glass figurine on my nightstand that Eli had made himself from scratch featuring my very first pose as a Ballerina years ago. He gifted it to me back then to congratulate me and say that his sculpture did little justice to the beauty and passion with which I danced. That I was beautiful when dancing to the rhythm of Tchaikovsky's songs.

Like a bright flame burning and swirling wonderfully. Powerful. Marvelous. Untouchable.

That was why he called me His Little Flame.

His Bright Flame. His Ballerina.

The intricate details, the passion, the beauty of my posture had all been beautifully captured by Eli's delicate crafting. Only a passionate person could have brought that to life.

But I always attributed it to our deep bond and emotional connection.

Maybe I was wrong.

And maybe. Just maybe there could be a future for us? Or was I hopelessly wishing for something that had no possibility of becoming a reality?