CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN

"I've never had another cousin before, other than Cam of course," Hannah mumbled, head down as she subconsciously counted every step she made, dreading going back to her house. She had upped and left without thinking about what she was leaving behind and now that the sun had set, she knew she had to return. Alex had offered to walk home with her, one arm flung over her shoulders as he helped hold her in place. Whilst she had known Alex through Kalila and her cousin's boyfriend Tyler, she hadn't been particularly close to him. But knowing they shared the same blood was strengthening and when the shock wore off, the two of them were glad.

She had stayed with the Davis family for hours, looking through old photo albums and listening to the stories she should have been brought up knowing. Her father wanted to know everything about her, asking question after question as her half-siblings listened carefully. Little Liam had eventually fallen asleep on the sofa beside her, his chubby legs resting in her lap and her hand smoothening down his dark blonde locks.

Before leaving she had finally admitted how she had stalked her father on Facebook in order to find his business and followed him home that fateful day. Alex had only laughed loudly, standing up with a start. "If you'd have just waited for me to accept your friend request a few days later, you woulda saw I was a mutual friend and could have asked me 'bout Uncle Chris anyway."

Hannah grinned wryly at that, remembering how she had purposefully deleted Facebook from her phone just before going to Rome in order to block out the world that always threatened to suffocate her. She was sick and tired of all the popularity contests and the way people climbed on others to reach to the top.

She was sick of people like Ashlyn and Gabriel and hoped that they had finally decided to leave her alone.

"You should come over to my place soon someday, alright?" Alex said, as they crossed the road, streetlights warming up the city in an array of dull gold. "I'd love to show you all the old home videos I have of everyone, really, but mostly of me and Alice. You woulda loved her and she would have been so excited to know about you, she always was a sucker for drama."

They shared some more stories, giggling together as they thought of Cameron and Tyler's reaction to their little discovery. By the time they reached her street, Hannah's heart seemed to have grown heavier, pressing against her ribcage with fear. She didn't know why but there was something about facing her aunt and uncle again after all that had happened that caused chills. Her phone had been out of battery from the moment she stepped off the plane and Hannah knew they would have been worried sick about her whereabouts without any way of contacting her.

Alex had offered to call Cameron and let him know but she had refused. For a few hours, Hannah wanted to forget about that half of her and focus on the half she had just discovered.

"Want some moral support?" Alex asked, looking down at her with concern shining back at her but she only shook her head, pushing him towards his girlfriend's house.

Hugging goodbye and promising to come over to his place with Kalila soon, Hannah took a deep breath and knocked on her front door. With the chaos earlier, she hadn't thought to take her keys with her. But she needn't have worried; the minute Cameron opened the door and realised it was her, her pulled her towards him in the tightest hug she had ever received.

"You're strangling me, you oaf!" she mumbled into his t-shirt, spluttering as she tried to catch hold of her breath. But inside, Hannah was secretly over the moon – Alex was great and all but he could never be a better cousin than Cam.

"Don't you ever run away like that again," he chided, frowning. "Or else I'll lock you up somewhere so you can't escape."

She only laughed in response, clasping her hands close as she heard footsteps running towards her. Before she had a moment to collect her breath however, her aunt pounced on her, both telling her off and mumbling I-love-you's in the same breath. "I'm so sorry," Sara whispered, over and over again. "I'm so sorry that we failed you, I'm so sorry, my baby."

She didn't know when it happened but Hannah could feel tears pooling against her lashes as they danced down her cheeks. She knew her aunt blamed herself for not being able to stand up to Jasmine but Hannah knew that just wasn't true. Her mother was a hurricane; one that destroyed everything it touched. "You didn't fail me," she breathed out, voice shaky as her uncle also wrapped an arm around her. "I love you guys, so much."

After many I-swear-I'm-okay's from Hannah, the four of them settled down in the living room with some Shepard's Pie that her uncle had whipped up, warm in front of the fireplace. Hannah recounted what had happened from the moment she pressed down on the doorbell of her father's house, laughing out loud at Cam's shock when she mentioned Alex. He rolled his eyes when she teased him for no longer being her favourite cousin but Cameron was secretly ecstatic that the other half of her family weren't as terrible as they'd been brought up to believe.

Hannah looked across the room at her aunt and uncle snuggled up together, at Cameron laying on the floor and then, down at the photograph she half clutched in her hand; at her mother's bright smile and her father's warm eyes. She thought about how kind Lydia had been to her, despite how awkward it could have been and thought about Lucy and Liam. She thought of Alex, and how he was such a genuinely good friend and how he would be just as amazing as a cousin.

And then Hannah breathed a sigh of relief and sent a prayer upwards for the family she had, as unconventional and dysfunctional as they were. How lucky she was!

---

Hannah awoke the following morning with a smile plastered over her face, lying still as she absorbed the events of the previous day. It was a Sunday morning and whilst she looked forward to getting to know her father and his family further, she decided to spend the day with the one who gave her the courage to search for Chris in the first place.

"Mornin' sunshine!" Hannah chirped, holding her phone close to her ear as an array of creepy-crawlies burst in her lower stomach.

Rayne laughed in response, a soft laughter that Hannah memorised immediately. They exchanged pleasantries before the events of the previous day burst out between her lips. To say Rayne was surprised was an understatement but he was so genuinely pleased for her that it made Hannah's heart warm up.

"Do ya wanna get out of there?" He asked, voice lilting as she imagined his smile. "My mum took my sisters to a birthday party and I don't have any plans, wanna do something?"

She didn't waste a second, agreeing as she rushed around her room and pulled some clothes off her floor. As soon as she had fed her rabbit – cooing apologies at little Puddles who seemed miffed she had left him for three days – Hannah began to get ready. Whilst she had slowly stopped caring about the way she looked in front of him, she wanted to look slightly better than she had the last time she had seen him; jet-lagged and half-asleep.

Hannah blushed wildly when she remembered that Rayne had seen her at all moods and moments – including without any clothes on. She still couldn't quite believe she'd slept with him but judging by the few small bruises still peppered around her skin, it was as real as she was. It had been the best night of her life, to be so close to him, and the greatest part was knowing that he really cared about her. Hannah had been living in a glitz and glamor world that was nothing but a mirage for so long that to escape from the shallow-ness of it was refreshing.

She hummed as she brushed some light makeup on, going a little overboard with the highlighter but shrugging her shoulders all the same. Pulling a white and navy summer-dress on and begrudgingly carrying a spare cardigan with her in case of rain – as bloody usual – she ran out of her house with a quick goodbye.

Rayne was waiting for her outside the train station, hands shoved deep in his jeans pockets and squinting in the rare sunlight. "Hey!" he called out, catching sight of her and beaming wildly, unaware of the way her insides turned to mush at his smile.

They hugged briefly, both unhappy to let go but both knowing they had to take it a little slowly. "So, what do you wanna do?" Hannah asked, tying her hair up high from where it was beginning to stick against the back of her neck with the heat.

"No idea," he mumbled, ears tinting pink. "I didn't think that far ahead when I asked you."

Hannah raised one eyebrow at him and couldn't help the chuckle that slipped out. "Well, it's a beautiful day for a change so how about we just get on a train or a bus and make it up as we go along?" She was a little worried he would think it was stupid but Rayne's eyes lit up as he nodded enthusiastically.

They got on the first train that arrived, chattering along in the crowded space as Hannah held on tight, trying not to fall against his body with the sharp stops but secretly hoping that she did. One night with him had clearly not been enough! She tried to hide that thought from blossoming on her face by changing the subject, however, talking about her family instead.

"I honestly can't thank you enough for giving me a hand," she said, looking up with her head turned to the side. "I know you think you didn't do anything but if it wasn't for you being so optimistic and helpful about it, I don't think I would have had the, well, bravery to look for him. I wouldn't have found them if it wasn't for you so thank you, really, thanks Rayne."

"You did it," He stammered, blushing beneath the compliment as he tried to change the topic to one that didn't make his skin burn. "But anyway, so, uh, what's your favourite animal?"

Rayne wanted to slap himself when he saw the confusion grow on her face. He hadn't known what to say and so, somehow, that random question decided to make an appearance. But not finding it as stupid as he thought, Hannah grinned slowly, a Cheshire cat smile that felt like home to him. "Dinosaurs."

Before he could formulate an appropriate response or reasoning for his random question, she grabbed hold of his hand and pulled him from his seat, until they had climbed off the train. Neither of them knew where they were but Hannah pulled her Polaroid camera out of her bag and held it up with a smug look. Before falling asleep the previous night, she had gone through all the pictures she had taken at Rome, organising them in a neat pile. When Ashlyn and Gabriel had turned her world around, Hannah had ripped every photo with them off her bedroom wall and now she was ready to document her newer, better memories.

"Smile!" she called out, clicking down before he could do so.

Rayne only rolled his eyes at the way she squealed with joy as they wandered down streets neither of them knew, pointing at every potential bus stop nearby. The city blurred past them in an array of lights, tall buildings and crowds of people. It was beautiful, and having Rayne clutching her hand to keep her in sight amongst the bustling city, made it all the more so. Whilst they hadn't talked about the night they spent together, it was clear that the two of them kept thinking about it, judging from the light blushes that randomly sparked.

Hannah posed in front of St Paul's Cathedral as Rayne laughed, taking a photo just as a pigeon flew over her head. She took a selfie of the two of them walking on Tower Bridge, with the Houses of Parliament and Big Ben in the background. The two of them raced around the city, stopping occasionally to ask strangers to take photos of them whilst holding street-food in hand.

"You're the cutest couple!" an old lady cooed, handing back the camera to Hannah as she stammered out a thank you. Rayne felt his face warm but he ignored it, fighting the urge to start skipping with joy when Hannah didn't deny that they were a couple. It was early days and they would probably talk about it properly soon but for now, the two enjoyed every moment spend together without any labels – although that was a little difficult when he could still remember how it felt to run his tongue over her body!

"Aw, man," Hannah groaned as the voice overhead signalled a delay in their next train, the crowds crammed against the busy platform. There was an abundance of tourists, different languages rising in the sunshine, as soft music surrounded them. An old man with the longest beard Hannah had ever seen was seated cross-legged on the ground with a guitar in hand, singing to himself as passer-by's dropped coins into the open guitar case.

Buskers were plenty in the busy city but in that moment, with the sun streaming down on them and Rayne's fingers intertwined with her own, it felt different. Not pausing to think about her actions, Hannah dragged him along until they were standing in front of the man and closed her eyes. "What are you–?" Rayne began, his voice trailing off as Hannah began spinning.

She had briefly taken ballet lessons as a pre-teen, up until Ashlyn had deemed it stupid, and whilst she couldn't quite recall much, her legs seemed to move by themselves. She twirled through the air with a smile, her hair spinning around like a halo as she raised a leg in perfect rhythm with the guitar. People around them stopped and stared, some clapping as she danced across the platform with laughter seeping out of her pores, completing a perfect pirouette.

Her hands flailed in the air as Rayne marvelled at her, her twisting and turning reminding him of molten lava. It was beautiful; warm and bright but he knew Hannah enough to know that she had enough power to set the world alight if she wanted to. She was incredible.

With a trembling hand, he raised her camera high and took a few photographs of her, whilst dropping some money in the open guitar case. Very slowly, he put her camera away and grabbed hold of her hand, mid spin.

Rayne had never really danced in front of anyone before, other than when his sister's dressed him up as Cinderella and had a miniature ball in their living room. But he followed her lead, letting the music sweep over his skin as he copied her every moment, heart racing when she spun dangerously close to him.

People around them were clapping, phones out as they held onto each other, weaving their bodies across the platform. Rayne couldn't really remember the last time he had done anything so reckless in front of so many people but the adrenaline that coursed through him and the way Hannah lit up from the inside was enough to consider doing so more often.

And as the music slowed, the train arrived and a cheer rose over them, he very lightly pressed his lips against hers. His cheeks dusted pink but before she could say a word, he dragged her towards the open train. "Our next stop, dinosaurs!"

They arrived at the Natural History Museum a short while later, Hannah aah-ing and ooh-ing at the collection of fossils and dinosaur bones. The last time she had visited had been as a child on a school trip but something about being with someone you liked made it infinitely better. She bought some sweets as they first walked in, fingers sticky, as they looked around and took photographs of themselves posing with Dippy, the country's infamous dinosaur.

The warmer months meant that the butterfly house was open, Rayne's little sister's favourite exhibition. Whilst he had never been before, he was taking their word for it, and dragged Hannah along. It was beautiful on the inside, a large building filled with greenery and large, exotic butterflies fluttering around. It was incredibly humid inside, the perfect temperature for the butterflies to survive as they flew over their heads.

Hannah pulled her cardigan off with a gasp of amazement as a small red one fluttered past her. They took a few photos inside, eyes darting everywhere as movement occurred from every corner.

"Oh look! How cool is that?" Hannah was glowing, pointing at the display of fruit that at least thirty butterflies were sitting on as they ate.

Before he could respond, a large blue butterfly perched itself on her head, nestled between the dark strands of her hair. After a few excited squeals, Rayne carefully stepped closer to take a photograph of her. Her lips were pulled upwards, her dark eyes gleaming with happiness as her skin seemed to radiate light from within. Hannah looked so goddamn happy that it made him smile in return, something he tried to avoid thinking about but couldn't escape from.

She pulled her Polaroid out of his hand, taking a cautious step closer to him as she took a selfie of the two of them, butterfly still fluttering on her hair. And before he could realise what was happening, she leaned her head closer and kissed him, just as he had done earlier. Their lips moulded together beneath the array of colourful plants, butterflies from all over the world dancing above them as the world seemed to come to a standstill.

"Now we're even," she mumbled against his lips.