CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

Hannah was nervous – that much was obvious, even to herself. Her fingers trembled as she carefully smoothed down her hair, her dark eyes flickering over her reflection.

It was the following day and she was almost finished getting ready to attend Tyler's birthday party with her cousin, her stomach churning at the thought of meeting the boy again, now knowing who he really was. Cameron's boyfriend.

"Having second thoughts?" Cam's voice called out from where he lay down on her bed, one hand running through his thick locks.

Hannah suppressed a grin at the familiarity of the sentence; it didn't matter what party it was, Cam would always give her an out if she needed it. He knew she didn't like being around so many people, somewhat claustrophobic by the many bodies surrounding her. She vaguely remembered him saying the exact words as she got ready for the first party of the year, the back to school party hosted by Matt, one of Ashlyn's flings.

It had only been a handful of months but already Hannah felt a million miles away from who she was on that day. So much had shaken her world in such a short space of time, so much had changed. She had changed.

"Of course not," she mumbled in return to her cousin, nodding at her reflection in satisfaction be turning to face him. Even though she was a little unsure about going, she wouldn't back out, especially as she knew how much it meant to Cameron. And this was completely different, it wasn't a Premrose Private School party; hopefully not many people would recognise her.

"Are you sniffing my pillow, you bloody creep?" Her voice rose loud, somewhere between outrage and amusement as she caught sight of her cousin in the mirrors reflection.

The edges of his ears ringing red, Cam rolled his eyes and sat up slightly. "It smells of boy," he replied, chin up as though nothing she could say would convince him otherwise.

Slipping her ankle boots on, she grabbed hold of his jacket and pulled him along out of the room. "Smelled many of them?"

Cameron laughed as they got in the car, the genuine amusement spreading across his face as he looked over at his cousin. With a flick of the gear, he wriggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Duh," he answered, ignoring the way she snorted in reply. "I was just checking since Rayne was over, eh? In case you two were up to anything."

Hannah pretended she hadn't heard that last bit, instead pulling down the mirror and using her fingers to carefully separate some lashes that had decided to clump together. Cameron's annoying comments had reminded her of what had actually transpired the previous day, Rayne's offer swirling around her thoughts.

Hannah bit down on her lip, realising a second too late that she was wearing violet lipstick, matching her velvet skater dress. With a groan she neatened it out with her fingernail before whispering the one thing she couldn't stop thinking about.

"Rayne offered to help me find my dad."

Cameron pressed down on the breaks harshly, flinging them both forward. "What?!"

Clutching tight onto her seatbelt, she peered behind her to make sure he didn't cause any damage to the other drivers but thankfully, there wasn't anyone around them on the barely-lit street. "Can you try not to kill us!"

He just shook his head, as though he was trying to shake her words out and focused on his driving. With a careful three point turn, the tyres slowed to a standstill on a road lit up with the familiar sound of pounding music.

"We're here," he muttered as he parallel parked in the only available spot, turning to face her as he turned the engine off. "Rewind."

With a nervous chuckle, Hannah began to recount what had happened, mentally thinking how it always happened that their deepest conversations were always in the car.

"I– I dunno. Don't be mad at me but every time I'm around him I don't feel like me. I feel normal and–"

Cameron poked her bare thigh with his keys. "But you are normal, you idiot."

Hannah laughed, thankful that he didn't seem to mind her opening up to Rayne, a complete stranger, about their lives. Everything regarding their family had been a complete secret from everyone they knew for so long that she wasn't sure how he would take it.

"I'm not and you know it, not really. I have such a messed up background. I couldn't help it, Rayne is just so much easier to talk to than anyone else I've met and I accidentally mentioned to him once months ago that I didn't know my father. And then when Auntie Sara told us last week, it was obviously in my mind. So yesterday when he came over and we finished our essay off, I told him that I wanted to look for my dad. Don't hate me."

Cameron kept calm, the mask of indifference that he had perfected over the years worming its way onto his face. He didn't want Hannah to look for her dad because it was evident that the man didn't want a thing to do with the daughter he had rejected before birth. "I don't want you to find him," he whispered, his dark eyes lit up with concern. "In case he's a complete dickhead, I don't want you to get more hurt. But I understand, you have the right to know, it's only fair. I would never be mad at you for that."

With a squeeze of his hand, she twisted around to take her seatbelt off. "That's what Rayne said, about how I deserved to know even if he's a complete bastard. And honestly, I'm expecting him to be. But I just want to see him, only once, to see how much of him is part of me. It's bothered me my whole life, y'know, how I didn't know where I was from or what characteristics I got from him. I just wanna feel like I can identify with what I am, for a change."

They got out of the car, Cameron quiet as he absorbed her words. "When did you get so fucking wise?" he finally blurted out, a smile full of pride gracing his face. "C'mon let's go in, we'll talk about this more at home and you know I'll do all I can to help find him too, but for now, let's go meet my boyfriend."

Hannah giggled, following her cousin past the crowds of people forming on the porch and into Tyler's house. It was pretty large, full of ivory walls and plush red carpets. Bodies were swaying around them, laughter rising in the air alongside the vibrations of the loud music. Cameron tugged on her sleeve and pulled her up the stairs with him, dragging her to one of the bedrooms.

Tyler was waiting inside, playing with the hem of his navy t-shirt and looking up at them with a nervous smile.

Hannah had spent the majority of her social life in the limelight, revelling in the fact that it was the only part of her completely in her own control. Being one of the The Elite at Premrose guaranteed that eyes were always on her at all times and so she certainly wasn't a stranger to the sensation. But walking into Tyler's bedroom, his bright eyes on her was unnerving.

She wanted to make a good impression – for once her beauty, social standing and mother having nothing to do with it. She wanted Tyler to like her, for her.

Cam had been with her at every step of her life, throughout childhood and into adulthood. He had consistently played the part of parent, sibling, cousin and friend when needed and she was genuinely happy that he had fallen in love. He deserved all the happiness in the world.

"Happy birthday!" she chirped, pushing her hair back from where it was threatening to fall in her face as Cameron stepped forward to greet his boyfriend with a small kiss. "It's so nice to meet you again, Tyler. Nice to actually know who you are to Cam instead of me trying to guess who he's dating this time."

Tyler laughed, head thrown back and eyes gleaming. The relief that she wasn't annoyed they hadn't told her was apparent on his face, painted across his expression. "You too, Hannah, I'm really glad you came."

They spoke for a while, Tyler telling them about his friends with adoration and laughing when he recounted old memories. If it wasn't for the way he was still wringing his hands in his lap, they wouldn't have known how anxious he was about everyone meeting.

He had only just come out, or so to speak, to his friends and here he was, already introducing his boyfriend to them. It was a big step for him and Hannah found that she really admired the way he spoke. For once in his life, Cameron wasn't being an idiot and was listening to his boyfriend intently, dark orbs glowing.

They were perfect together.

As Hannah looked between them with a smile, her phone buzzed, a message popping up on the screen that made her eyebrows rise. "Hey, Cam," she mumbled, pressing the reply button. "Kalila texted me, she said she saw us downstairs. I didn't know she would be here."

Tyler interrupted, running a hand through his fringe, caramel curls sticking up. "Kalila Woods? You're friends with her? Yeah, she goes to Clearmount, Alex and her have a... a thing. I dunno, it's not much but they blatantly fancy the pants off each other."

Hannah's eyes brightened, it had been a while since she'd had a chance to catch up with Kalila and hearing the news made her smile.

"How about you tell her to come up, Alex will be well happy to see her and maybe we can play cupid and finally get them together!"

Hannah nodded, dutifully typing out her reply and listening to him tell her more about the two. The stories made her laugh out loud and just listening to the way he spoke about his friends was refreshing. Tyler clearly adored the people around him and despite the massive party, it was clear he only truly cared about the small group he spoke about.

Kalila joined them soon, beaming at Tyler and calling out birthday wishes before greeting the cousins. She gave Hannah a hug before settling down and they all chattered until the last two – the mysterious best friends – arrived.

The door soon knocked, alerting them to the arrivals and Tyler opened it, a flash of navy jumping on him.

"Let the birthday boy breathe, Lacey!" Kalila called out whilst laughing, swinging her legs from the desk she was seated on as the blonde girl held Tyler in the tightest hug.

Hannah took in the two best friends she had heard about, her gaze scanning Alex. She had pieced together an opinion of him from the childhood stories Tyler had told her and the soft smiles painted across Kalila's face when she spoke about them. Her neighbour had always been a pretty private person and for her to evidently like this guy, he must have been pretty special.

Alex didn't look anything special though – his cobalt eyes flickering around the room in something close to hesitation as he ran a hand through deep brown locks.

"Okay, so uhm guys, this is Cameron and his cousin, Hannah," Tyler began, tongue tripping over the words as he introduced them. It was obvious he was a little nervous now that they all knew about Cam but the boy in question broke the ice by saying something stupid, as usual.

Cameron's dark eyes looked Alex up and down before grinning, his dimple peeking out as he did so. "So you're the one who choked when you heard about me? Don't blame you; I do have that effect on everyone. Though I gotta say, you're way hotter than I thought you'd be."

Lacey and Tyler simultaneously burst into laughter at their best friend's bewildered expression and Hannah smiled, realising in that moment that she liked Alex. He was clearly feeling a little out of his depth, having just found out about his best friends sexuality but surprisingly, he took it in stride and grinned playfully at Cam.

"Don't mind him, being the world's biggest flirt is pretty much his only talent," Hannah said, stepping forward to introduce herself. "I'm Hannah, nice to meet you guys. I've heard a lot about you both, from those two." She gestured at Tyler and Kalila, both watching the introductions with affection.

Kalila giggled, tugging at the purple dress she was wearing. "Yeah, Cam's always been a cocky asshole. Don't take it personally."

Alex looked around the room, dark brows furrowing as he turned to her and spoke. "You guys know each other?"

Kalila filled him in on how they were neighbours, telling him tales of the years they'd been friends. Lacey was still standing beside Tyler, her head resting on his shoulder as they watched the scene unfold. Pretty soon they were all seated around the bed, the apprehension completely vanished as they spoke animatedly with each other.

And in that moment, Hannah looked around at the faces – old and new – and realised how lucky she was. At the end of the day, it didn't matter that her family was a giant mess because after all, she had Cameron and he would always be more than enough, along with his incredible parents. Despite Ashlyn and Gabriel betraying her in every way, she had also found friendship in the people around her alongside Rayne.

And maybe, that was all she really needed.

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A/N: if you've read suicide, skittles & skates (which I hope you have considering this is the spin off!) then the second half of this chapter should seem a little familiar, it's chapter 11 from SS&S from hannah's point of view! c: Also, let me know what you think of the new cover pleaseee