She answered me.

< We'll talk about it tomorrow, okay? ]

[ okay...but is it because of me? Are you mad? Are you not in love anymore? >

< No, it's not about this type of thing, Jungkook, don't worry ]

[ okay, I love you❤ >

< I love you too❤ ]

I lock my phone now that I feel a bit more relieved but still not entirely, I'm anxious, I want to know what this is about.

•••

2 am.

The night feeling long as I cannot find a way to fall asleep, I roll onto my bed and lie down on my flat. The temperature in this room is too high, even if I'm only wearing a pair of sweatpants, I shouldn't have raised the heat up. I open my eyes and look out the window, but something off catches my attention.

I raise my head up from my pillow, seeing some light in y/n's room. She's lying on her bed, but I don't know why the light is on. Isn't she sleeping? At this hour?

I frown but grab hold of my phone that I left under my pillow, and I get in my messages, remembering about something important.

[ you should buy new curtains for your bedroom... >

I drift my eyes towards her house once the text is sent, and I check what she does, if she reacts. Surprisingly, she moves her hand to her nightstand and takes a look at her phone. Her head turns in my direction as if she knew what that text means, and she answers me, so I watch my screen to see her typing.

The text pops up on my screen, and I read it.

< Why do you say that? ]

[ they're see-through... >

< no...it's impossible ]

Right after receiving this text, I raise my eyes up towards her but see she's already up on her feet. She walks up to them and checks the side that is visible for us only, so I get up as well and open a window, but I call her on the phone.

I bend over the rim of the window, and she picks up the call but looks up at me.

"Can you see me right now?" she grips the curtain, standing in front of the windows in a red nightdress. I lick my lips but answer. "Yes, more than clearly."

"What?!" she gasps, but with this sight of her, I can see how embarrassed she is. "How could you see that?"

"I...I noticed..." I do not tell the truth, but she hums. "Does that mean you stalk me?" she opens the curtains a bit more and passes between them, but we both look at each other and smile like idiots. However, I bite my lips, knowing what I've already done while looking at her behind those fabrics. "No...I'm not a pervert...I just saw it some time ago, but I was scared to tell you because I knew you would think I'm stalking you."

"Uh. I see," she keeps her eyes on me. "Are you naked right now? You're going to catch a cold."

"I'm not," I chuckle, loving the way she tried to make it turn into an innocent question when she must have had me, naked in her mind. "I'm wearing a pair of sweatpants, but I'm hot anyway, so I'm fine."

"But you're going to get sick, close that window," she cares for me like a mother would, and I listen, not being a submissive for her for nothing. I close the window but stay in front of it just to see her.

"Are we going to stay like that?" she chuckles, looking adorable when she's in casual clothes, not wearing any makeup. I giggle but don't know what to say. "I feel better when I see you."

"You're cute, but I don't want anyone to see me here," she laughs and goes away to go back on her bed. "I'll change my curtains though. I can't believe what I've done in my bedroom when everything was visible."

"Why does that sound dirty?" I chuckle, feeling too obsessed because of my mind I land on my bed and turn around to be on my sheets. "Because you have a dirty mind, and I hope you haven't looked at me too much."

"I didn't..." I lie, hating myself for doing so. "Why do I hear some falsehood in this answer?" she knows it more than anyone would, so I hold my laughter in. "No...I just like to see you because it's like...comforting...I don't know..."

"I like to know I comfort you without doing anything," her voice softens, but the light on her room gets switched off. I remain quiet, hoping for her to speak more. I lay my hand on my chest but smile without knowing why. "Why did you call? Aren't you supposed to be sleeping?"

"Yes, but I can't...I can't stop thinking about what you said and that worries me..." I tell her the truth since this seems to be a serious issue. "We'll talk after school, don't be worried."

"Yeah..." I accept what hurts, but I slide my hand over my torso, not knowing what I'm doing. "Anyway," she exhales heavily, letting out a small moan as if she was purposely playing with my emotions. My heart jumped a little. "You should sleep and rest for tomorrow. Okay?"

"I'm trying..." I brush my hair back and leave my hand above my head, on the pillow. "You should sleep too though. You're sick, I don't want your state to worsen."

"Yes, it's just a bit difficult to fall asleep," she says, more quietly. I wonder what is on her mind to not be in her usual mood. "I'm probably not going to come tomorrow, I fear that I might not be in a good state to work all day long. I don't know."

"Stay home...You need to rest and be okay," I make a decision for her, not wanting to see her exhausted and in pain. "I know, but this is not easy to take a day off, I don't want all my students to lag behind because of me."

"This is not because of you, you're sick, you did not ask to be. So take care of yourself, please, do it for me..." I try to find a weak spot since this is really important for me to know that she is all right and not wearing herself out only for others. She does not do it. "What if you go tomorrow, and then you worsen your state and have to take more days off? That won't help at all in the end."

She does not say anything right away, thinking about what she should do when the right decision is to stay home and be safe. "I'll see how I feel in the morning, if I'm not okay, I'll warn you and text my students to let them know."

"Okay...but do not lie to me and tell me everything's fine if it isn't. All right?" I try to make it clear that she counts for me like no one else does except for my family. She means a lot to me, and when she is not fine, I'm not either. "I won't lie to you, Jungkook. You know it."

"You kinda did earlier by telling me nothing is wrong...when it was..." I send in a mumble but regret it a little. "I'm sorry about this, I just needed some time. This won't happen again..."

Some questions pop up in my head after her words. "Have you cheated on me...?" I gaze down, hoping for her answer to be straight and honest. "I didn't. I would never do that, stop believing in this type of thing."

"Okay...I'm just worried...I..." a gulp goes down my throat as I do not know whether this is a good idea to speak out about my emotions. I always feel shy, but maybe this is good for the other person to know about them. "What?"

My eyes stare up at the windows to see the darkness of the sky and streets. "I never loved someone like I love you...so...I've never felt so attached to someone..." I nibble on my inner lip, feeling embarrassed about my own feelings and words. "I know I need to learn how to be mature in a relationship...that's why I always fear many things..."

"You told me that you were a virgin when we first did it, but have you already had a girlfriend?" she asks me, both of us speaking in a quiet manner with more earnestness. "Maybe two or three, but that never lasted long. I wanted to wait for the good one to do more..."

"Hm. That is rare for a boy to think that way, you're a sweet and great boy," she makes me smile. "But I don't want you to be worried, I promise I'll always be honest with you in serious situations. Maybe I will tell you that I'm fine even if I'm not, but this is just because I do not like people to be concerned about me. I don't want them to know that I'm not okay, and I don't want them to be worried," she reveals some more about her that I did not know yet. "But I want to know how you truly feel. I do not care about feeling fine if this is a lie, I'd rather be worried and anxious because I know something is going on with you than believe that everything is okay when it is not..."

"I love you, Jungkook," a smile can be heard through her sentence, and my heart shivers. "I love you too. More than anything," I bite my lips but close my eyes, hearing nothing for a few seconds. "We should both sleep. So close your eyes and think about me if you want, you said this helps."

"I'll definitely think about you," I giggle in a quiet manner, but she does it too and makes me soft. "I'll think about you too. Sleep tight, have a good rest of night."

"Sleep tight too and have sweet dreams, I love you," I repeat those three meaningful words again to make sure she knows it, and she whispers them back to me, filling me with enough soothe for the night. I wait for her to hang up so that I'm not the one doing it, and she ends the call after a few seconds.

This was short and random, but this made me feel better.

- Next day -

Tuesday, November 12, 2019.

7:10 am.

I go down the stairs after receiving no text from y/n, wondering if she's already awake or just getting ready to leave when I told her not to. I move up to the kitchen, seeing my little brother at the table. "Hey, I ate the rest of your favorite cereals...sorry," he ruins my mood. I stop myself and look at him with a blank face. "Are you serious right now?"

"Yes, dad forgot to buy mine yesterday. I did not have a choice, I need some to be awake for at least one hour. "You're never awake anyway, you damn brat!" I get mad at him for eating what I was planning on having for breakfast, but he chews on them and looks at me. "I'm sorry, bro."

"Sorry, my ass," I speak under my breath but make my way to the fridge. "Guys, what the hell is going on here?" our dad joins while buckling his belt as if he couldn't get dressed upstairs. "This little brat of sh..." I do not say the cursing word to not be scolded, fearing my dad could use that belt for something else than his trousers. "I...my cereals...he ate them!"

He finishes to closes the buckle but stares at me. "So you're making a fuss over cereals?" he does not do anything but just speaks sternly. "I'm going to buy some after coming leaving work today. Stop complaining."

I clench my jaw but grab a bottle of milk, I close the door of the fridge and get to the sofa to not be at the table with my brother, who I hate. "Where's your food?" my dad does not leave me alone, scaring me with the tone of his voice. I peek up at him with my lips on the straw. I shrug.

"You eat something. I won't repeat myself, Jungkook," he orders me, not kidding once it comes to my health. "There's nothing I want to eat...!"

"Then I'll cook some eggs. You like eggs," he rolls his sleeves up, but since I do not have the right to complain more, I keep quiet and text y/n.

[ are you ok?❤ >

"Who were you talking with last night?" my dad asks me, making my blood rush through my veins and hit my brain. I swiftly glance up. I did not expect this question. "I...was...a friend..."

He does not move anymore but fixes his sharp and intimidating eyes on me. "A friend?"

"Yeah..." I nod. "What's his name?" he tries to trick me, so I hurry to think of one guy I know. "Moonsik."

"Oh, Moonsik?" he raises his eyebrows. "You seem very close to him to talk together in the middle of the night and tell him you love him."

My stomach growls after this sentence that made me feel bad for not telling the truth, and I give in. "All right...it was my crush..." my answer gets Jungeun to look in my direction. "Hm," he smiles, preparing everything to cook for me. "Why didn't you want to tell the truth?"

"Just...I'm shy about it..." I shrug, not knowing what to say. He does not say anything, but my phone vibrates, so I hurry to check if it is y/n.

< hey, I'm sorry I woke up a few minutes ago only because my phone did not ring. I'm okay, don't worry ]

[ you're not staying home? >

< No, but I'm fine ]

[ no. You're not. You could barely talk because of your voice yesterday and had to leave earlier, how could you be fine after just one night? >

< because it's not serious, I'm just a bit sick, it's not enough for me to stay home ]

[ yeah sure, not serious. Even if you were about to die you'd still say it's not serious >

She does not answer me anymore. This annoys me a lot, I don't want to see her in such a state again just because she does not want to put the students at a disadvantage. Dammit.

"Will you stay with y/n after school?" my dad, who's already cooking the food for me, voices out. "Yes, I think."

"I've never seen a student stay with their teacher so much..." he suspects something, his smartness not missing a chance to distress me. "Well, I just want to have good marks..."

"Hm," he expresses some skepticism. "Do you want good marks or good company?" he understands almost the real reason for me to be away from here when I should be back lately. "Why don't you call her the 'sweet woman' anymore?' my brother says his eyes on him. He licks his lips but chuckles. "Your mom heard it and got mad," he answers but in a quiet voice as if he was scared that she could hear him.

I knew it, I said it.

"Jeez...you just complimented her, nothing else," he does not understand how jealousy works, making me glare at him without him knowing. "Yes, but you don't know how women are. It's normal, they don't like it when their man compliments another woman."

"Oh...just like how Jungkook feels when a man compliments his crush, uh?" he dares to look at me, but I drop my eyes down at my phone, making it obvious I still don't want to talk to this brat. "I mean, you're too old for her anyway, so mom should not worry," this little boy believes, not knowing the reality. "Oh boy, you'd be surprised to see how many young girls like to date older men like me."

"I know, dad. They're called 'sugar daddies'. I'm informed," no shame invades him after his sentence. "Not all. Some do like to be with older men."

"Then they're just called 'daddies'," his words make me feel embarrassed in front of my dad. This topic should not be broached in this living room. My dad chuckles but lays his eyes on me. "What's her name? Do I know her?"

"You don't..." I shake my head, hating all the attention I'm getting today. "Oh, so her name is not Han?" he pronounces it, my heart shaking, and my eyes shooting up. "I really thought it was her."

"N-No..." I stutter like a dumbass. "Okay then, if you say so, but if I was your age, I would definitely have had a crush on her..."

"Good to know," I do not say anything more about this. It's kind of obvious that he knows anyway. I feel it.

•••

4 pm.

I leave y/n's car after a long and silent ride. She's acted weird the whole day, I do not know why, and this stresses me out. She must have something serious to tell me.

I tuck my hands in my pockets while moving up to her house but look down at the ground, imagining every type of scenario that might happen in a few minutes. She unlocks the door and lets us in, we both take our shoes, but I keep my jacket on while she took her coat off, her eyes never meeting mine, I drop my bag on the floor but fix my eyes on her, asking for her to talk.

"What is it about?" my heart skips a beat, her gaze crossing mine. "Jungkook..." she rubs her forehead, seeming nervous and uncomfortable. "I'm sorry for making you wait so long, but I just needed us to be alone and-"

"Y/n," I cut her off without meaning to sound rude. "Just tell me, please. I'm not okay."