Chapter Ten

Worried

Nakatanaw ako sa malayong karagatan mula sa aming maliit na balkonahe. The blue crystal waters were tempting but I didn't have the courage to swim after the accident. Weird but I couldn't find any explanation. I was then contented to just watch the sea from afar and sometimes go near but I never dared to indulge myself in the water.

I breathed in the sea breeze. The soft humming of the waves as it continuously approached the shore was so serene and relaxing.

Ngunit sa madalas na panonood ko sa dagat ay hindi ako nakaramdam ng pamilyaridad dito. Kahit pa sabi ni Nanay na malapit din kami sa karagatan noong sa Luna pa kami naninirahan.

Minsan, naiisip kong hindi naman ganito dati. Hindi ako sanay marinig ang mga alon at maamoy ang maalat na hangin mula sa dagat. Kalaunan, tinanggap ko nang naninibago lamang ako.

I stayed for a few more minutes and decided to walk on the shore.

Naglakad ako patungo sa aplaya. Hindi na sana ako lalapit sa tubig ngunit tinapangan ko ang sarili. I hesitated but in the end I took off my slippers. I let my feet tickled by the fine white sand as I started to walk near the water letting the clear sea waves flow against my bare feet.

Nagpatuloy ako sa paglalakad at nasanay rin mayamaya.

It was my second day of staying at home. Nakakabagot ang walang ginagawa. I tried to cook yesterday but ended up with just fried tilapia. Nahirapan pa akong i-perfect iyon dahil nagkalasug-lasog ang mga naunang niluto. After how many attempts, I finally had a good one. Not perfect but it was better.

It was already three-thirty in the afternoon but the weather is a bit gloomy so it was the perfect time to stroll.

Inisip ko ang lulutuin mamaya. Nanay said that it was okay even if I wouldn't cook for dinner but I want to. I couldn't cook complex meals but maybe just a simple one like fish sinigang would do. I watched Tatay cook that one before and I think it was simple.

Ilang sandali pang paglalakad ay nakarating ako sa parte ng coastline kung saan nalalatagan ng iilang puno hanggang sa natatanaw ko na ang isang mataas, mapuno at matarik na gubat sa likod ng mga malalaking rock formation.

A cliff.

The wind blew and my hair swayed with it. Sinikop ko ang mga hibla nito at inilagay sa kanang balikat ko.

Huminto ako at tiningala ang maberdeng bundok. It was wonderful but fear crept in me. Napako ako sa kinatatayuan ko dahil parang nakikinita ko ang panaginip na tumatakbo ako sa isang kagubatan. Pinakiramdaman ko ang sarili kung sasakit ba ang ulo pero wala naman akong naramdaman. It was a good sign.

Ipinagpatuloy ko ang paglapit sa mga rock formations at hinawakan ang matutulis na bahagi na naaabot ng kamay ko. I was amazed how the rocks were formed into different figures and shapes. I looked up and admired its magnificent and breathtaking beauty. Ibinaba ko ang kamay dahil baka masugatan sa mga matutulis na bahagi.

Dumako ang mga mata ko sa isang malapad at hindi matulis na rock formation na naihiwalay sa napakalaking rock formation. The height of it just fall below my shoulders and I think I can climb on it.

Nilapitan ko at sinubukang iangat ang sarili para makaupo rito ngunit bumaba rin sa buhangin dahil mahirap pala.

I straightened my hands preparing for a second try. Buong lakas kong inangat ang katawan ngunit hindi talaga maabot ng pang-upo ang patag na tuktok nito. Muli akong bumaba at pinakatitigan ang rock formation. Mabilis na nag-isip kung papaano sasampa rito.

Isinuot ko ang tsinelas at buong tapang na hinawakan ang itaas na parte at inapakan ang mga baku-bakung bahagi.

"What are you doing?"

A familiar baritone deep voice startled me. Nawalan ako ng balanse at dumulas ang isang paa sa katawan ng bato. Pumikit ako at inasahan ang pagbagsak sa buhangin pero hindi dumating. Instead, a firm hand held my waist that made me not to fall on the sand.

"Ang tigas ng ulo mo," sabi ni Sir Genus habang maingat akong ibinaba sa buhangin.

Sumimangot ako at tumingin sa kaniya.

"Kung hindi ka dumating, nakaakyat na sana ako d'yan." Itinuro ko ang rock formation at sinuot ang tsinelas na nahulog kanina. Pinagpag ko rin ang saya na nadumihan.

Tiningnan niya ang rock formation at mas lumapit dito.

He offered his right hand. "Let me."

"What?!" Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at umiling.

"Come on," pangungumbinsi niya at mas itinaas ang nakalahad na kamay.

"Sigurado ka bang kaya mo akong buhatin?" Nag-aalinlangang lumapit ako sa kaniya.

My heart again started to beat faster. Hinding-hindi yata ako masasanay sa mabilis na tibok ng puso tuwing nariyan siya.

Tumango siya at maingat na hinawakan ang baywang ko, walang kahirap-hirap na inangat sa tuktok ng rock formation. Bumuga ako ng hangin pagkalapag sa akin at namamanghang tumingin sa kaniya.

Mayabang siyang sumulyap sa akin.

His lips stretched and looked at my body. "You're too light."

Umirap ako at sinulyapan ang braso niya. I could imagine him lifting his woman without using much force. Uminit ang pisngi ko at tinanaw na lang ang dagat.

This part of San Jacinto was not popular unlike the other islands which were the most visited island in the province.

I remember that there was a myth believed by the old ancestors about the moon deities and the sea monster. I heard it from the teachers in school. It was fascinating to hear such story.

"Do you know about the myth of the moon deities and the sea monster?" Hindi ko napigilang tanungin ang nasa isip.

Sinulyapan ko siya ngunit muling ibinalik ang tingin sa dagat. Kahit pala nakaupo na ako ay kitang-kita ang katangkaran niya dahil magkalebel pa rin kami ng paningin.

He looked at me, interested to what I would say. Ngumiti ako at nagsimulang isalaysay ang nalalaman.

"The god of the moon was called Bulan and his sister who was his confidante and protector was Haliya, known as the goddess of the moon. Bulan was childlike, sweet and playful, opposite to his sister who was emotionless, strong and ruthless. They believed that these two deities periodically come down to earth to bathe in the waters."

I pursed my lips because something came across my mind when I mentioned that name 'Haliya' but I couldn't point-out what it was.

I shrugged and continued. "The sea monster's name was Bakunawa, she was once a beautiful deity of the sea. She has the ability to transform herself into a serpent-like-dragon, but later on she was called as the moon eater."

I glanced at him and realized he was watching me closely. Bahagya akong naasiwa sa mga titig niya.

"What happened to the deities and the sea monster?" he lightly asked, encouraging me to talk more.

He stepped closer to where I was seated and put his right hand just beside me. He was too close and I couldn't think clearly. Tumingala ako sa langit para i-distract ang sarili. The moon was slightly visible because of the gloomy weather. I think it was already past four PM.

"T-The sea serpent fell in love with Haliya's brother, Bulan." Malungkot akong tumawa. I looked at him and met his eyes piercing through me.

"Did he also fall in love with the sea serpent?" His brows shot up waiting for my answer.

Umiling ako. "No. The moon god didn't notice her and it made her furious. She vowed to claim Bulan from the sky to get revenge. One night, she planned to hurt Bulan. Transformed into a serpent-like-dragon, she rose and wanted to devour Bulan but Haliya bravely battled her."

Huminga ako nang malalim.

A broken heart was the worst. Nobody could see it, but it hurts every time you breathe. The flame of anger fuels the heart to do unbearable things that was unexpected. It was sad that love could make or break a person.

"If you were the sea serpent, would you do the same?" I asked, curious about his opinion.

"Yes," he said seriously.

Nagulat ako sa sagot niya. Napatitig ako sa kaniyang mga mata, naghihintay sa maaaring dahilan o eksplanasyon.

"I would pursue my love, but I won't inflict her pain. I will let her know my feelings but I'll wait and do everything to make her love me back." For a moment I was hypnotized by his deep set eyes. He was so sincere like he was implying something else.

Slightly moved by what he said I stared at his eyes that was as dark as midnight. I nervously laughed afterwards to break the tension and looked at the shore to avoid his menacing gaze.

"Was that what you did for your girlfriend?" I asked, almost a whisper, just enough for him to hear.

Katahimikan. Wala akong narinig na sagot mula sa kaniya kaya inangat ko ang tingin ko. Nakayuko siya pero sinalubong niya ang mga mata ko. Dumaan ang lungkot at pait sa mga 'yon.

"I was an asshole back then. I lost her," hirap na hirap na bulong niya. Bahagyang nanginig ang boses niya at nagbaba siya ng tingin.

Reminiscing the past might opened the wound he was trying to heal and it was so insensitive of me to bring it up. "I'm sorry."

A sad smile spread across his lips. "That was all in the past. I wanted to start over."

Hindi ko alam kung ano'ng sasabihin ko. I was happy that he wanted to do that but I felt sad. Maybe, because it seemed like their story was heartbreaking based on what he said.

The tightening in my chest made me look away. Nanliit ang mga mata ko nang may mapansin sa mga puno sa malayo. I couldn't take my eyes of the trees. I was sure I saw someone but I couldn't see it clearly because of the far distance.

Umamba akong bababa ngunit pinigilan ako ni Sir Genus.

"What's the matter?" he said with a hint of worry on his voice.

Muli akong tumingin doon pero wala na akong makita na kahit ano. Sumunod ang tingin niya sa tinitingnan ko kaya umiling ako.

"Magluluto pa ako ng dinner," dahilan ko.

Lumipat ang tingin ko sa dagat. The sun was not visible as of the moment because it had been covered by thick and voluminous clouds. It made the sea looked a little bit darker.

Mabilis niya akong ibinaba nang walang paalam. Napatili ako nang kaunti at awtomatikong humawak sa balikat niya para kumuha ng suporta.

"Bakit mo ginawa 'yon?" naiirita kong tanong nang makaapak sa buhangin.

"Nagmamadali ka?" he probed.

Nagtiim-bagang ako at nagsimula nang maglakad pabalik sa bahay. Lumilinga-linga ako sa paligid, hindi pa rin panatag sa nakita. Halos takbuhin ko ang daanan at nang marating ko kung saan banda iyon ay tumigil ako. Sinuri ko nang mabuti ang lugar pero wala naman akong nakita.

I shrugged it off. Maybe, it was just a wild animal roaming around the forest nearby.

Lumingon ako nang hindi naramdaman sa tabi si Sir Genus. Hinintay ko siya ng ilang sandali bago muling naglakad.

"Mang Ramon was already at your house."

Nagtatakang tumitig ako sa kaniya at napagtantong dahil 'yon sa sinabi kong magluluto ako.

"Bakit 'di mo sinabi agad?"

Nagkibit-balikat siya at sumabay na sa aking paglalakad.

"Hindi ka nagtanong," aniya.

Nakita ko ang multo ng ngiti sa labi niya ngunit kapagkuwan ay nawala rin. Hindi ko alam kung guni-guni ko lang ba 'yon o ano.

"I went to your house and I saw him. Mukhang kagagaling lang sa palengke. You weren't found anywhere so I volunteered to look for you," mayamaya ay paliwanag niya. Ngumuso ako ngunit may naglarong tanong sa isip.

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Bakit ka nga pala pumunta sa bahay?"

"I'm worried about you," he said directly.

Natahimik ako sa sinabi niya. Questions started to form on my mind but I couldn't find my voice.

I sensed that something was different. I could feel that somehow he changed on the way he approached and talked to me since I was rushed to the hospital. He was cautious, yet he was opening his door and I was scared to know more.

"But I see that you're fine now. Matigas na ang ulo mo." Halata ang panunukso sa tono niya.

The heaviness I felt was gone because of what he said.

I smiled. "Minsan lang naman. At saka 'di naman ako lumayo."

Magaan sa pakiramdam na malaya ako. It was as if finally, I was doing what my heart desires.

"I'm glad that you like it here."

Napatigil ako at napatitig sa kaniya.

"Lisa, saan ka ba nanggaling?"

Nag-aalalang boses ni Tatay ang umagaw ng atensyon ko. Hindi ko namalayang nakarating na pala kami sa labas ng aming bahay. Ngumiti ako nang lumapit si Tatay sa amin. Sinuyod niya ng tingin ang buong katawan ko, kinikilatis kung may masamang nangyari.

"Naglakad-lakad lang po ako." Nagmano ako kay Tatay.

"Salamat, Genus. Minsan talaga matigas ang ulo ng anak ko," sabi ni Tatay kaya sumimangot ako.

Tumingin sa akin si Sir Genus at nakita ko ang amusement sa mga mata niya, tila ba sinasabi niyang hindi nagkakamali si Tatay.

Umirap ako at inaya na silang pumasok ng bahay. Dumiretso ako sa kuwarto ko upang magpalit ng damit. Pinuno ko ang baga ng hangin habang nakatingin sa aking repleksyon sa salamin. My eyes were glowing and my cheeks were a bit pink because of the walking.

Matamis akong ngumiti. I feel peaceful and light.