Naalimpungatan si Zed at hindi namalayang nakatulog. Kung hindi pa nga niya naramdaman ang pananakit ng likod niya dahil sa posisyong nakaupo, hindi siya magigising. Bukod kasi sa inaantok siya dahil halos kulang ang tulog niya, nagpraktis sila pagkatapos ng klase.

Kaagad na dumiretso ang tingin niya sa digital clock na nasa ibabaw ng TV. It was already ten in the evening, and he couldn't remember the time he had slept.

Ramdam niyang ayaw pang kumilos ng katawan niya ngunit wala siya sa sariling lugar para magpatuloy. Kahit labag sa kalooban niya, bumangon siya at agad na nilingon ang kamang nasa likuran niya.

Nakatalikod si Adi, mukhang mahimbing na natutulog. Hindi siya nagkamali nang lapitan ito kaya hindi siya gumawa ng ingay.

The light from the balcony lightly illuminated Adi's face. Ang ganda ng mukha habang natutulog. Hindi man lang nakanganga, nakaayos pa ang buhok na para bang ready na umalis kung kinakailangan, at halos wala siyang maipintas.

Zed sighed and fixed Adi's duvet, and fully covered the windows with a curtain. He took the trash and his phone when he saw a note written on a pink Post-it note with a blue bill on the side.

He didn't take the money. Instead, he looked for a pen and wrote, see you around, then stuck it in the mirror.

Siniguro muna ni Zed na wala siyang maiiwang kalat bago tuluyang umalis. Dumiretso kaagad siya sa condo niya at naligo dahil gusto na ulit niyang matulog.

Habang nakahiga, naisipan niyang buksan ang social media accounts ni Adi na halos walang post. May ibang self-portrait ngunit mas madalas na picture ng aso nitong great dane ang laman ng Instagram feed.

The dog was bigger than Adi, making him chuckle.

Adi's profile picture was a side profile portrait in black and white. Kita niya ang pagkakahulma ng mukha nito. She had a straight nose, a soft jawline, and a mole on her neck. The woman had very soft features, very feminine, too.

Mahilig din itong mag-share ng random post sa pages. And there was the latest one. It was shared publicly tonight, around eight, while he was still in the unit, sleeping.

Zed laughed, locked his phone, and turned on his television as he was trying to fall asleep again.

—

Zed positioned for another shot. Three points, as always.

Nasa school gym sila para maglaro. Kalaban nila ang isa't isa para lang mahasa pa lalo at makita kung saan sila magaling. He had been the university's point guard for years and was the best three-point shooter on their team. Lumalaban siya sa three-point shootout na isa sa biggest pride niya.

Aside from making sure to focus on his shooting, that subject had been bugging him for he past weeks. Naibagsak na niya ito noong nakaraang semester kaya siya pinag-enroll ng summer. It was Business Analytics, and he hated it so much.

Aside from Business Analytics, he also enrolled in two more subjects, para na rin hindi sayang.

"Kuya!" Lumapit sa kaniya si Jed at iniabot ang bote ng electrolytes. "Galing ka raw sa dean's office kanina?"

Tumango siya at pabagsak na naupo. "Warning na naman." Mahina siyang natawa. "Kailangan ko na kasing bumawi sa midterms, pero inaayos ko naman. Last playing year ko na, e. Hindi puwedeng kung kailan naman huli na, saka pa 'ko hindi makakapaglaro."

Zed knew his teammates were curious about his current issues. Naka-hold kasi ang announcement tungkol sa pagiging team captain niya na dapat ay aware na ang lahat.

He wanted to turn this down and pass it to Led, one of his closest teammates, but their coach wanted to give him all the chances.

Jed started lifting him up. Sinasabi nitong matagal pa naman ang summer class, may pagkakataon pa siyang makapasa. Siya mismo, alam niya sa sarili na mahihirapan na siya kaya natawa lang siya na mayroon pa rin palang bilib sa kaniya ang iba.

Bumalik sila sa paglalaro. Gusto rin ni Zed na ganito ang gagawin niya dahil sandali niyang nakalilimutan ang malaking problemang kinahaharap.

His entire future would change because of just one subject. Years of hardwork, all tainted because he couldn't easily understand and grasp what he needed to pass.

Nanalo ang team nila at nagkayayaang kumain ng Korean barbecue hindi kalayuan sa university.

Habang naglalakad papunta sa parking lot, tumigil siya nang makita ang pamilyar na bulto ng isang babae at hindi siya nagkamali nang humarap ito. It was Adi happily talking to someone. His eyes squinted and stared at her.

Adi was wearing a black long sleeve paired with white trousers and a pointy stiletto. Patagilid itong tumingin sa gawi niya at literal na nag-second look nang mapansin siya.

Zed already expected that Adi would ignore him, just like what he wanted two weeks ago, so he just gave her a nod and left. He put his baseball cap backwards, looked down, and started walking towards the parking lot when he heard Adi calling his name.

Both his hands were inside his pockets as he gazed at Adi sideways. "What's up?"

"Visiting." Adi shrugged. "Dad asked me to get something from Professor Leone, so I dropped by. How's it going?"

Sabay silang naglakad sa hallway papuntang admin building na daan din papunta sa parking lot at gate palabas ng school. Dinig na dinig niya ang tunog ng heels na suot ni Adi at napansin ang pag-sway ng buhok nitong naka-ponytail.

"Going somewhere?" Adi asked. "Not that I'm interested. Just . . . asking."

Zed's lips curled into a playful smile and loosened up. "Kakain ng barbecue. Ikaw? Aalis ka na?"

"Yup. Just waiting for Prof. Leonel's secretary." Tumingin si Adi sa relong suot. "Maghihintay na lang din muna 'ko sa lobby."

Huminto si Zed at tinanguan si Adi. Itinuro niya ang daan papunta sa gate. "Mauna na 'ko, ha? Nice seeing you here, Miss Adi," pang-aasar niya. "See you around."

Before Adi could even say something, Zed started walking backwards away from her before rushing towards the gate. Pasimple niyang inobserbahan ang hallway, may ilang estudyanteng naglalakad.

Adi missed the university, actually. She was an alumna, but mostly took her classes at night. Mas gusto niyang nasa bahay maghapon para mag-aral kaya may subjects siyang online classes lang, pero pumapasok siya sa night classes.

When life was easier, better, and happier.

After graduation, Adi knew she lost her spark. She graduated magna cum laude, immediately got teaching offers from different universities . . . even Eastern U, and had the choice to rest. Aside from teaching jobs, she also got some offers from companies, which were aware of her thesis. Maraming opportunities, pero hindi niya naharap lahat.

All because she was lost.

Adi sighed and saw the secretary holding a paper bag. It was a book gifted by the professor for her dad who taught at Eastern U for a long time.

Rush hour, she was having a hard time booking a carpool. Matagal siya sa harapan ng gate ng university, nakatingin sa daan at nagbabakasakaling may dumaang cab habang sinusubukan pa ring mag-book ng ride para makauwi na.

She then remembered Zed, and it felt weird running into him at his university. It had been two weeks since the last time they saw each other because of the boundary that she said, and it helped.

Adi tried so hard to book a ride, but unfortunately, there was none. She had been trying to find a cab for almost fifteen minutes already. Her foot started to ache, and she was already pissed when a car pulled in front of her.

Hindi siya puwede magkamali. It was Zed's car. Bumaba rin ang bintana at inaya siyang sumakay na. Kung sa ibang pagkakataon, tatanggi siya ngunit mahirap humanap ng sasakyan, wala siya posisyon para umarte.

Not today.

"Kanina pa kita nakikita, e." Itinuro nito ang Korean barbecue place na nasa harap ng gate. "Nakakatatlong karne pa lang ako, naawa ako sa 'yo."

Imbes na mainis, natawa si Adi.

"Wala ka palang dalang sasakyan," ani Zed na ikinabig ang sasakyan papunta sa highway. "Sorry, amoy usok ako."

"Medyo," sagot niya at itinapat sa kaniya ang aircon ng sasakyan. "Napakainit."

Mas nilakasan pa nga ni Zed na halos lumipad ang buhok niya at hindi siya nagrereklamo. Itinapat pa nga niya ang mukha para damhin ang lamig na nanggagaling sa vent. It also gave way for her to observe Zed.

Two weeks ago, he looked awfully stressed and uncomfortable. Currently, he looked worse. More like . . . exhausted.

"What's with dark circles?" Adi nervously chuckled, trying not to piss off the driver. "Stressed?"

Zed frowned, smilingly . . . but didn't say a word.

Aside from the lemony scent of the car, she could smell something . . . feminine, but dominated by Zed's manly perfume.

Nakarating sila sa main road at hindi nakatutuwa ang unti-unting pagdilim ng kalangitan kasunod ang mga pulang ilaw na nakapalibot sa kanila dahil sa traffic. Halos hindi umuusad ang sasakyan. Gagalaw man ang traffic, sandaling-sandali lang.

Medyo malakas ang tugtog sa sasakyan. Tahimik din si Zed, ganoon din si Adi na nakatingin sa bintana.

"Okay lang namang magkuwento, 'no?" mahinang sambit ni Zed na diretsong nakatingin sa daan. "Just . . . when you're interested to listen."

Adi faced Zed and their eyes met. "What about? Spill."

There was a long silence before Zed started talking about his academic problems, the possibility of being removed from the team, and graduating without playing his last year. Each word felt harder to say, and Adi noticed how Zed gripped the steering wheel. She didn't say a word, just listened.

"Iyon." Zed forced a painful smile. "Iyon lang naman. Ikaw, kumusta ka the past two weeks?" he asked.

Adi squinted and breathed. "So, what's your plan? Kung sakaling maibagsak mo ulit 'yang subject, mawala ka sa team? What would you do? Basketball is all you have, right?"

"Not really." Zed gazed at Adi. "Pero siyempre, masakit. Baka ito na rin ang sagot sa tanong ko noon kung hanggang saan na lang ba talaga ako rito. I know I can make it to the professional league. I am confident I can without playing my last university league year, but I don't want to just . . . stop here. Ayaw ko—" He shook his head. "Never mind."

"I do mind," Adi said in a low, firm voice. "I understand. So, nakaisip ka ba ng steps para hindi ka mag-fail? I am assuming you're doing your best, but in reality, best isn't always enough."

Zed exhaled and nodded. Adi noticed embarrassment.

"And there's nothing to be ashamed of. Personally, I'd tell you that it's okay to feel disappointment if things don't go our way, to feel the pressure, and to embrace the dilemma, but you can always ask for help," she assured. "Hindi ko sasabihin ngayon sa 'yo na kaya mo 'yan, kakayanin mo 'yan, or what. Kung hindi mo kaya, it's either give up or get help."

Nanatiling nakatingin si Adi kay Zed na lumamlam ang mga mata habang nakatitig sa daan. Traffic pa rin kaya naiilawan ng pulang ilaw ang mukha nito kaya mas emphasized ang bawat reaksyon.

"Do you need my help?" Adi offered. "What subject?"

Zed's brows furrowed and stared at her. "You don't have to. I'll be ok—"

"You're not," she said calmly. "I can help you, but it's not gonna be free."

"Seryoso?" Zed squinted. "Adi, I'll do whatever it takes. Ano'ng kapalit?"

Adi bit her tongue before saying a word. "Hatid-sundo, everyday. Wala akong kotse for three weeks. Deal?"

"Iyon lang? Deal," Zed confidently said without baffling. "Deal."

—
T H E X W H Y S
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