Pinilit ni Adi si Zed na magpahinga at kahit na maraming gustong kumausap kahit sa call, hindi siya pumayag. Si Jed lang na nagdala ng bag galing sa quarters at nagdala ng pagkain para sa kanila.

"Okay ka lang diyan?" tanong niya kay Jed na nasa sala. "May bakanteng kwarto, baka gusto mong matulog? Buti nanalo pa rin kayo kanina."

"Oo, Ate," ani Jed na sumandal sa sofa. "Nag-usap kami na hindi puwedeng matalo. Para kay Kuya ang larong 'yon. At saka hindi na rin okay 'yong kabilang team kanina. Grabe kasi guilt noong naging dahilan ng bagsak ni Kuya."

Naupo muna si Adi sa kaparehong sofa habang pinanonood ni Jed ang replay ng laro kanina. Hindi rin siya nagbubukas ng social media dahil nasa feed niya ang news tungkol sa nangyari kay Zed. Maraming speculation, pero naglabas ng statement ang coach na maayos ang lagay nito at nagpapahinga lang.

Sa unang pagkakataon, naglakas-loob siyang panoorin kung ano ang nangyari.

The game literally stopped, the cheers, everything. Mas naramdaman niya ang bigat sa dibdib at kaba kahit na alam naman niyang normal ang lahat ng test, kailangan lang magpahinga.

"I was so scared," Adi murmured and faced Jed. "Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko kanina. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang iisipin ko. I c-can't lose him like that."

Jed saw how Adi's chin vibrated as tears pooled in her eyes. Everyone was scared. Halos hindi nakapaglaro nang maayos ang lahat, kahit na ang kalaban nilang team dahil sa nangyari. It was every athlete's nightmare. It was an accident, accidents do happen in games... but they always hope it won't.

"Hindi ko kaya, Jedrus," mahinang sambit ni Adi.

"Nakahinga rin kaming lahat, Ate, noong sinabi ni Sir Edison na normal ang lahat ng result," ani Jed na ngumiti. "Ang mahalaga, okay na siya, Ate."

Sumandal si Adi sa sofa at inihiga ang ulo sa backrest habang nakatitig sa kisame. Hinayaan niyang bumagsak ang luha niya kahit na halos antukin siya kakahagulhol kanina kay Zed.

"Miss ka namin sa practices and games, Ate Adi," Jed said lowly. "Ang boring magpraktis noong wala ka na. Wala kaming cheerleader! Para kaming nawalan ng number one fan noong hindi ka na nanood sa 'min."

Nanatiling nakahiga ang ulo niya ngunit patagilid na nilingon si Jed. Deretso itong nakatingin sa TV at malalim na huminga.

"Life got busy," Adi shut her eyes, inhaling the scent of the hospital room. "I... got busy and—"

"Simula highschool, kilala ka na namin. Kasama ka na namin sa hangout, madalas kami sa condo n'yo ni Kuya Zed. Noong naghiwalay kayo, ang lungkot. Minsan magkakasama kami sa condo ni Kuya, pero ang tahimik. Minsan nga andoon kami, pero naglalaro lang siya ng games."

Adi bit her lower lip without saying a word, but breaking.

"After concert, tinanong namin si Kuya kung nagkabalikan na kayo," Jed continued. "Sinabi niyang hindi, but he was hoping you guys would. Ate?"

Finally, Adi gazed at Jed.

"Babalik pa ba sa dati? I mean, no pressure. Pero—" Jed apologized and shook his head. "Sorry ulit, Ate."

Adi chuckled and smiled bitterly. "We're working on it," she admitted. "We've been seeing each other for months. I'm still unsure where this would take us, but I love him, Jed. We took a break, but I love him."

For some reason, she saw relief on Jed's face before smiling. "Sobrang mahal ka rin, Ate. Hindi nga tinatanggal wedding ring n'yo. Kahit kelan, never namin siyang nakitang walang wedding ring."

Bumaba ang tingin niya sa sariling kamay at nakita ang engagement, wedding ring, at promise ring na ibinigay ni Zed sa kaniya. Six years of marriage, both never forgot their rings... even during the break.

Ikinuwento sa kaniya ni Jed na natuwa ang buong team nang makita silang magkasama sa university, sa concert, at noong nanood siya ng laro. Kahit na ang ilang naka-graduate ng player ay nag-message raw kay Zed nang makita siya.

Of course, everyone knew her.

She was Zed's wife after all.

Nang lumalim ang gabi, nagpaalam na si Jed kahit na sinabi niyang puwede naman itong mag-stay sa kwarto ng VIP dahil sa kwarto siya ni Zed matutulog ngunit hindi puwede dahil may pasok pa ito sa school kinabukasan.

Nakausap na rin niya si Bea at Nathan tungkol sa klase niyang naiwan maghapon. Everything went well, the dean and students understood the situation.

Nakakuha rin siya ng pagkakataong maligo. Ginamit niya ang loose white shirt at jogger pants ni Zed bago pumasok sa kwarto nito. Mahimbing pa rin itong natutulog na ipinagpapasalamat niya. Siya naman, hindi siya sigurado kung makatutulog siya. The video of the fall kept on replaying in her head and she couldn't imagine if something went really wrong.

Dahil hindi pa siya inaantok, naisipan niyang magbasa ng libro sa living area para hindi ito maabala. Ngunit nang makita niya ang city lights mula sa bintana, lumabas siya para magpahangin sa labas.

The room was cold, but it was suffocating her. Her heart and mind weren't okay, that was for sure.

Zed's hospital room has a view of the city lights. It had a balcony and a comfortable chair where she could watch even the plane hovering above them. Naupo muna siya sa sofa, nakatingala sa langit at hinayaang bumagsak ang luhang hindi na niya piniglan.

Again, the image of Zed's face after the fall haunted her. Nang hindi ito kaagad gumalaw, nanatiling nakahiga, hindi mapakali ang coaching staff at teammates, at maging mga commentator ay hindi maitago ang pag-aalala. The way Zed exhaled got her really scared.

"Hindi ka pa inaantok?"

Nilingon niya si Zed na nakatayo sa pinto ng balcony, hawak ang gatorade. Lumapit ito sa kaniya, hinalikan ang tuktok ng ulo niya, at naupo sa tabi niya. Dikit ang katawan nito at inakbayan siya kaya nakakuha siya nang pagkakataon para hawakan at halikan ang likod ng kamay nito.

Zed wiped her tears using the back of her hand and kissed the side of her forehead. "Pagbagsak ko kanina, ikaw inisip ko. Sana hindi mo makita, sana hindi malala, sana walang mangyaring masama. I can't leave yet. We're still trying to fix things. Not now."

"Not ever," Adi sniffed and started sobbing silently. "Not like that. Kahit na maghiwalay na lang tayo, kahit na may iba ka na, kahit na—"

"As if I'll find someone after you," Zed rested his forehead against hers. "We took a break, pero never ko namang inisip na mapapalitan ka. I love you so much, I won't even think of replacing you."

Adi's chin vibrated, and guilt consumed her so much that her heart felt being stabbed multiple times. Siya ang may kasalanan, siya ang lumayo, siya ang nanghingi ng space. Four years of marriage, she asked for a break. For almost two years, they were on a break.

"It's our sixth anniversary this year," Zed said lowly. "Balik na tayo, Adi. Ayoko na. After months of seeing each other, ayoko nang hiwalay. I hated the companionship. I don't like the idea of sex to distress. I want sex 'cos I love you. I hate leaving in the morning, I hate not being with you. Balik na tayo, Audrey."

Patagilid na hinarap ni Adi si Zed. Nakatingin ito sa kawalan kaya nakakuha siya nang pagkakataon para halikan ang pisngi nito. She didn't need to say a word. When they were younger, it was her way of saying yes. No words, just a kiss on his cheek, it was already an answer.

"I'm sorry," she murmured.

Zed faced her and kissed the tip of her nose. "Paulit-ulit kang nagso-sorry. Naintindihan ko naman noon kung bakit, pero sana tama na. Ayoko na talaga. Tama na," his voice vibrated.

Tumango si Adi at inihiga ang ulo sa balikat ni Zed habang pareho silang nakatingin sa kawalan. No phones, no sounds, nothing. Just the sound of their breathing and the cars honking below. Faint, but it was there.

Nang maramdaman nilang medyo lumalamig na, nag-aya na si Zed na pumasok na sila sa loob. Nagsabi si Adi na sa sofa siya matutulog o sa kabilang kwarto, pero gusto ni Zed na magkatabi sila.

The hospital bed was big enough for them. Nakatagilid si Adi habang nakarap sa bintanang nakabukas, nasa likuran niya si Zed na nakayakap sa kaniya. Nag-decide na rin silang mag-discharge bukas para mas makapagpahinga pa.

"First night after our break, that night we had sex for distress," Zed exhaled. "Hindi ako nakatulog. It felt like a crime. You were sleeping, and I was just staring at you. Hindi ko matanggap na 'yon ang rason kung bakit tayo magkasama."

Naramdaman ni Adi na inayos ni Zed ang kumot nilang dalawa. Nanatili siyang tahimik, kagat ang ibabang labi.

"It was fun. The night was funny, pleasurable. After more than a year without sex, it felt so good... but I hated how we both felt like strangers fucking just because. The sex was good, but the aftermath isn't," pagpapatuloy ni Zed. "The guilt and heartbreak... but I wanna be with you."

Maingat na humarap si Adi kay Zed. Sinuklay niya ang buhok nito gamit ang daliri at hinaplos ang pisngi.

"Distressing with you became my favorite cos I get to be with you," Adi admitted. "I missed you. I missed us and—"

Zed didn't let Adi finish and kissed her lips. Slowly, their lips moved in sync. It wasn't sloppy, no lust... just longing, yearning. His hand settled on Adi's jaw, deepening the kiss.

No fast break. No urgency. No sprint. No rush.

When they finally pulled back, their foreheads rested together, breaths mingling.

"I love you," Zed murmured.

Adi's lips curled into a smile and planted one more kiss. "I love you."

—
T H E X W H Y S
www.thexwhys.com