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Amira POV
You know what I hated the most, the one regret I had in life. The biggest mistake I ever made, the worst thing I felt. Some girls would probably say not having much clothes (even though they do).

What I hated the most was when I told him I never loved him, that I Just wanted to crush his heart into little pieces. No one would know how to fix it. I'm pathetic for that. Selfish for caring about my feeling and not his. 

I could have said yes to his marriage proposal, be happy just like any other girl would want. There was probably something wrong with me. I don't what it was but there was.

Yes I was bullied, touched and beaten. I also got over it, well I thought so. Mother was right, everyone is not perfect. We are humans, we make mistakes. Yet Allah forgives, even if our sins and mistakes covered the whole ocean. Allah would forgive, for he is forgiving. Yes I could have forgiven Mazin for his mistakes. What got me thinking was, would he forgive me now ?

Would we put this behind us. In a deep place where we wouldn't be able to find it, wouldn't let us destroy each other.

I hated how we weren't talking anymore. How he ignored me, but yet steal glance at me when he thought I wasn't looking. I wished I could say, take a pic it would last longer. Although that would been haram. I was desperate for him to talk to me. For his forgiveness.

Who would have thought I would be in love. Yet I can't have that love. The only way I could have it was forgiveness from Mazin.

I look over the window, the cold coming in. Raising goosebumps all over my body. I get up, shutting. Looking at the snow, smiling. It looked like it had no worries. Just came  down from the sky, melt when its time came to
a end.

It was free to do anything. So pure, so beautiful. It was a blessing from Allah, he can give it to us and take it within seconds. Not one snowflake will fall without his permission.

I look above the sky, it was past magrib, so the sun went down. The colors of the sunset came  to a end. It was dark blue now, the snow falling above us. Slowly and beautiful.

I go on my bed, thinking about him once again. Is was like his took something from and I wanted it back. He took my heart, and I couldn't move on without getting it back. Couldn't live with out his forgiveness.

I get up and go on to my closet. Picking something comfortable to wear to park. Sarah asked me to meet her there. She said the night felt good. That she wanted to spent sometimes with me without thinking about the wedding. Said it would be good for us. So I agreed and was getting ready. I pick and a Abaya, and a hot pink scarf.

I take my coat, and but it one. The night was chill, I could survive. Even though Sarah wanted to go there, I wanted to go anywhere but there. I knew it would bring back memories.Ones I wanted to forget. 

Heading down stairs where my family was now cuddle on the couch. They were watching the movie "Lights out."

I watched with Sarah a few weeks ago. It was the most scary movie. It made me jump every time the lady Dianne came.

"Amira where are you going," My mother asked me, pausing the movie

I give her a smile while I put on my shoes.

"I'm meeting with Sarah," I replied, zipping up my coat

My mother nods towards me, playing the movie. My mother and my father were not those strict parents. They would let me go anywhere, the only thing I had to do was inform them. Which I did every time I was meeting with someone. Even when I was just going to the store, I will notify them.

I say my Salams to my family and head into my car.

I rub my hands together, keeping it warm. The cold was starting to get wild now.

I get out my phone to call Sarah, there was no way we were about to meet at the park. It was too cold.

"Sarah are you nuts! It's way to cold," I say to her when she picks up

"Well Salam to you too, come over to my house," She said her voice booming with sarcasm

I chuckle, blushing for my rudeness and exchange my greetings with Sarah.

I start to drive, making small talks with Sarah. The exams were coming, and yet I didn't study one thing. How Sarah wedding was tomorrow made her nervous, but yet happy she would be completing half her deen.

It made me happy seeing her wrapped around happiness, no worries and no boy problems.

After minutes of driving, I make it to Sarah house. She was waiting on the footsteps of her house. Her mother standing besides her.

I greet her, smiling and giving her a kiss on the cheek which she returned also.

"Make sure you guys come, you have a big day tomorrow," Her mother said going in the house

Sarah mumbles and chuckles, knowing now we wouldn't come back early than her mother wanted us to.

"Where are we going ?" I said, putting my hand over Sarahs shoulder

She rolls her eyes, teasing me.

"My friend, I will help you and your broken heart," She said chuckling, than gives me a evil Sarah smirk which I didn't like

I pause, looking at her with a confused look yet scared on what was running through her head. You can never underestimate my dear friend.

Her brain worked different than mine. Planning unplanned things, without telling me so. 

Unsure what I was doing, I get into her car. She starts to drive off, and my mind goes into thinking. Where could she be possibly be taking me.

"Tell me where we are going!"'I say after minutes of driving

"Oh hush we are almost here," She says waving me off with her hand

I groan, frustrated from not knowing.

"There, come along darling," She said, giving me a toothless grin and gets out of the car, me following and doing the same thing

I look around, yer aging confused.

Why are we at forest ?

"Sarah, please don't tell me you drove me here to kill me off, like tomorrow it's your weeding I want to be there and slay with you !" I said to her laughing unsure if she was going to kill me off

Who knew what Sarah couldn't be thinking! Especially on her last day of being unmarried.

"Oh hush, that's silly, if I wanted to kill you I would have done it that night of my wedding, with Adams help," She replied, dragging my into the forest

"That's not helping!" I huffed, who would have ever though my best friend will kill me, with her husband!

After minutes of walking, stepping on un-strange things we make it to a..... Car ?

I look at Sarah, making sure she was thinking straight.

"Please don't tell me Adam got you this for a weeding gift ?! That's some broken up car," I said, laughter filling up the forest

"Hahah funny, I got this for you ! " She said excitedly

"Your joking right? That's  not even considered as a car," I said, making sure she was joking

She mumbles something under a breath and walks to trunk of the car, opening it.

I walk towards her, seeing if she was getting a weapon to kill me with. Unsure what was happening I back up. Too scared for my life, even though it was my best friend.

I hear the trunk close and see Sarah walking with two baseball bats. I look at her, way too scared.

"Umm....Sarah are you feeling okay ? You already know I don't play baseball, especially in a damn forest !" I said, my heart pounding fast than usual

She shakes her head, handing me a bat. I hesitate first but than take it.

I look back at Sarah who is now in front of the car. She smirks towards me, she than takes her bat and aim it towards the car window. Hitting hard, the window starts to break. She repeatedly does it over again.

She starts to laugh, and points a spot by her for me stand. I slowly walk towards there, unsure what was going on.

"Break this car, and let your worries go?" She said

"What kind of worries?" I replied

She gives me a small encouraging smile.

"Mazin worries," Was all she said and got back to damaging the car

I look at her, rage took over. The wedding must have stressed her out.

"Boys are stupid Amira, they will never understand you," She said breaking the back window

I nod agreeing with her.

"They make us depend on them," I said, breaking the front window

I take my anger out on car. It was like I was pouring my feelings out. Every hit I made, one worry will go away.

It made me not feel guilty for what I did to Mazin. We both did something to hurt each other. Yet I somewhat forgave him, and was waiting for him to forgive.

For that was the only thing I cared about now.

His forgiveness.

_______
Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu ! How are you guys ??

This book will be coming to a end, there is only 1 more chapter ! I know sad right but I'm happy it's ending lol

Anyways school is almost here so I wanted to wrap the book since I'll not have time to write and I don't want you guys to be hanging,

Chapter is not edited ❤️☹️

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