The ceiling looks good and maybe that's the reason we both are staring at it for more than twenty minutes . Neither of us exchange any words but i can't stop my mind from silent screaming, the soft mattress of his bed feels like sharp nails in my back and the way Dora is barking, it seems like she's trying to warn me before i utter any nonsense. Everything feels like choking , i just want to turn around and face him , ask him what's wrong even though i know the reason. He is not suppose to be mad , he's not suppose be angry or depressed or drunk in his bullshit thoughts, when he's the one who pulled this stunt .

He's the one who's responsible for destroying  this ; this us ,  by calling our relationship fake just after i shared my most intimate moment with him , he's the one responsible for crushing my dreams to build a house with him , a life with him . I can't do this anymore. This . This silence between us is building unimaginable tension that is preventing me from breathing.

My eyes burn to cry it's feelings out , my throat ache to scream at him ; yell at him and ask him my fault , my body feels numb and let's not talk about my heart, it's on fire and feels like it's pieces are lost . With my leftover strength i turn to his side to face him , the only thing i require right now is confrontation.. i want him to confront me about my mistakes so that i can be a better version of myself for him . For us.

"Did you really mean what you said?" With a meek voice and fallout heart i finally ask him .  Ragnar didn't reply at first and i'm afraid that his temper will take over him by the way of his raging body ." Will you stop playing the victim for once ' why would i fucking say something that i don't mean " his voice is rough more likely shaky but that didn't stop me from asking him further questions " Then why don't you tell me the reason we were good , we were amazing a few minutes ago , you were amazing and what made you change your scenario about us " i knew this question will further intrigu him  . " I told you akira , not once but many times that this is not something that i really want and you can't blame me for not uprooting from my decision " this time his voice is soft maybe he realized that he is scaring me .

" But i love you and we just shared our most intimate moment together, how can you be so cruel to me " my eyes finally gave out and tears slowly strain my face. He didn't not reply me back and it make my blood boil to the point that i want it to explode . And this is the very moment i was about to burst into flame only to get cold water splashed in me by his next sharp, cold choice of words. " I didn't want us to fall in love , i never wanted you to fall i love with me because i know my downcast and i warned you to stay away from me but guess what your super stubborn self could not stop day dreaming about this bullshit US . It was all you ... you were dreaming of something like this to happen and your this dream is my dreadful nightmare.  So please for god's grace stop playing the victim because its all you whis responsible for your mindless condition not me " his eyes are red and breathing ragged when he stopped talking.  And finally i broke down , i hate this , i hate this side of him, he cannot be the same guy i had a crush for more than two years then officially fall in love with him without realizing . I hate to broke down in front of anyone it reminds of of the time when dad   tortured mom and i used to hind in my closet to control my mom's never ending screaming to get a hold of me .

With whatever left in me i stand up from the bed and a stinging pain shoot through the between of my legs and i again time lane back to a few hours ago when we shared our most intimate moment . Me and Ragnar. I collect my clothes and put them on  and before Leaving his room i look at him maybe for the last time . " This is not what we are suppose to be ragnar , hopefully you'll untie your blindfold to see it " with my last words to him i pick my phone and walk out of his room . I can feel Marie's gaze as i walk past the kitchen.. as soon as I'm out of his house i started to run , run as fast as possible, run until it starts to feel dizzy , run until i reach home and sleep for the rest of the day and wake up some day hopefully with a vanished memory.  Hopefully him out of my mind . Hopefully i fall out of love .

But despite everything i can't figure out a reason to hate him .

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So a little glimpse of their story  . Ragnar's and Akira 's story.
I  afraid that i did not spoil to much . But their story is full of heartbreak , love and surprises.

Comment to share your thoughts and tell me if you like the chapter.

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