AKIRA ( LOVER)

It seem like people are genuine when they approach you for their benefit, the thought intrigue me often , but as i said it seems. It's been quite a couple of days and after many meetings with Lyn today i finally decided to talk to my publisher and finalize a signing date in near book store . People enjoy my perspective of putting two characters into a tethered bond of mere emotion love and i enjoy writing such things to bear with boredom and and put something realistic out their to show others the true colour of what love is . Maybe my thoughts regarding this is different from others out there but when you have stood up from a feuding scenario, it should indeed vary.

Since childhood I found love interesting but that reserved thought had soon been taken over by my fathers animalistic behaviour towards us. It's not that I hate him or something but I hate the way his distinct , destructive temper took over him. Talking about my mother I haven't heard anything from her in quite a few months, after she moved out of our old almost exploited apartment she haven't tried contacting me. It's fine with me though I feel safe living alone maybe unlike others I enjoy trying adjust into my own body in my vacant space. Living alone is a game, atleast for me, hiding from your true self and reality and then searching for it under the sprinkle of moon light peeking through the window of your deepest surface, that is only visible for your own self, indeed is a game .

Captivated, I am totally captivated by the moons beauty, even thought it carry many holes within but still never curses out when people try to capture it's existence in some absurd gimmicks .
I believe it does so because of the presence of stars, as you can always see the moon is never alone, the stars always finds their way to accompany him. Laying in our comfy bed and thinking about the astronomics is beyond fun, I greatly enjoy it. If I look closely to the  the light neon blue colour walls they wouldn't mind getting their own company, maybe I could add some illustrated star hangings so make it imitate the vast dark sky. Or may be not.

I haven't been productive lately apart from running some small erands I did nothing else. I have asked my disseminate manager to allow me to add a few more days in my schedule to complete the deadline of the processing book. Everything seems pretty obvious. If you work on their ways you are the most important person in their life, however, if you ask for your way, you are opnionative. Maybe that how the world works.

If I be honest, laying idle is giving me backpain, if I do something productive it won't cause any harm. Without thinking gutter, I get off my bed and head straight to my small kitchen, to prepare something healthy to ingest. Healthy veggy bowl would work. I chop down some extra cucumber, lettuce to add to my haul purchased veggy bowl and close the lid to shake and mix. Shake and mix. Shake and mix. They say in New York this is considere as hobby. Idk the Kardashian clau.  But it's fun. I like it. Every now and then I enjoy being a little spooky. I am in strict diet, Lyn says I'm getting fat, maybe I am. But do I care. No. Not everyone is Aphrodite ; but as far as I remember Aphrodite also gets stom fold. How cool isn't it.

I grab my bowl along with a spoon for digging in and got comfy in my small but soft couch. Changing through the channels I found my perfect movie, MOANA, I appreciate Disney for making such a good movie. I'm in my mid twenties but still enjoy Disney. This is foolish but age doesn't define your choice of movie right. But do I care about people's opinion. NO. Maybe a little bit. But there is no one to judge me. I love living alone.

Within the first seventeen minutes I have already finished divouring the bowl and now I am extra droopy. If I close my eyes a little it won't hurt right. But first I pause the movie, and then, windows and doors locked. Checked. I have extract blanket or not. checked. I love my life, inspected. Now I can rest my eyes. Bullshitting is granting your flaws and I can allow 'nidrarakshasha ' to come and cupid me. Nighty night to me.

~~~

Naps are always good. Isn't it. But most likely I feel fresh for a good outset. It was like a regular nap as I only got four hour of rest and I'm up and has already taken a shower to feel more rejuvenated. I will most likely start with writing my journal then move on to the most Important work. Finishing the deadline. I am not as frequent as I was at the beginning on my journal but it still never pull me down or cause effect of my edge on motivation. My journal is very kindle to me I treat that silent, silliest and simplest thing as my  most precious souvenir. I lack people from whom I can seek comfort but that's okay I own my variety of words for beneficial deed .

Out most dunk is what I speak to most of the people. I can't find suitable words for certain situation and most likely that why people don't pay attention to what I utter most of the time. My they do like what I write. It's confusing and I wonder why. But right now my most important work is to grab a good pen and start writing the souvenir.

Dear gifted,
              You remember this title, mom always use to adress us by this name. We were little howling shits, always running around carrying trouble along with us. Hope not, but it maybe the reason mom and dad always get into fight in the very first place. Because of us. But sometime between their disagreement I always heard dad mentioning me, us. I was head on heels to find out the reason why I was their main topic to fight over. However, whenever, I asked mum she always reassured me that I was the positive aspect of her blurred fate,  we were small and unable to coup up the true meaning but as we further quarrel over the fact to feed the brain. She uttermost defeated as said that we are gifted. How cool right? But I was unfaced by it's true meaning. I owe her so much. It's because of her I survived the absurd, crawling demon. We survived. But still because of certain plots I can't seem to thank her, the words always seem to get stuck at the tip of my tongue. I dispise myself for this, this meek and weak self that I loath when I'm standing with her. Because I want to stand along with her. I believe we urge to stand with her. She has gone through so many things and as they say ' waltzing through life is impossible, however, standing in the corner to visualize your fate is impeccable ' . I don't want her to do either, I want her to dance to her own soft music in her own rhythm. But as I know I won't be able to say these to her myself, I will act on my way to provide her everything she needs for creating her own way. But first I will make her proud for being herself and hopefully from my success .

I owe my infinite to you and hope you will fill your vast, empty world with it .

                           7:19

I didn't even realize the fuzzy feeling in me, until now, I need to do something for her for us. Leave past behind and move on. I close my journal. Determine of everything I thought to do. Closure, pave path and better living .

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Author's note,
Hey groovers! Enjoy the new update and and vote, comment and follow to encourage me .

Stay safe, love ya'all

Quick question - how many of you use music as your therapy?

Stay tuned

X<3