Paradise wasn't what I expected it to be; I assumed it would be a beautiful garden, filled with flowers and fruit and all sorts of animals. When we showed up outside of it, I saw none of that. Instead, we stood on the cracked sidewalk in front of a whitewashed building. A few cars were parked on the street, and a man stumbled out the door. He was so close to me, I could smell the alcohol on his breath.

"Uh, is this a bar?" I asked, staring up at the sign. Wooden and cracked with green paint peeling off, it looked ancient. A flaming sword and the name of the bar looked like they had recently been repainted.

"Yep, come on. We want to get a good seat." Death pulled me inside. The smell of beer assaulted my nose, and I sneezed. I tugged at the leash.

"Can you take this stupid harness off of me?"

Death ignored me. His boots clicked against the hard tiled floor as he walked to the bar. He rested an arm on the counter with not quite a full-smile on his lips. "Hey, Eve, mind handing me the mic?"

The barista, Eve, turned and slapped a wet rag down on the counter. She had her hair tied into a messy bun like she was a character in a One Direction fanfiction. Her eyes shone like pools of copper, and they crinkled as she laughed. "Cutting right to the chase, are we? Are you going to introduce your friend, or am I supposed to ask my father?"

"Her name's Ardia. Now, give me that." Death leaned across the counter. He was tall enough that his feet barely lifted from the floor as he reached for something behind the bar.

"Any song?" Eve placed a microphone on the countertop in front of me. "Or do you want me to pick again?"

"You can pick. Thanks," Death said. He looked at me before gesturing at a door that said Employees Only. "Go wait over there."

I nodded, though I couldn't walk more than four feet from him in any direction. My feet stayed planted where they were while I stared at him.

"Go on, no one's going to-"

"The harness," I said, crossing my arms. I had no plan to move, not as long as I was wearing the harness. Not even if I had to stand in place for the rest of my afterlife. Thankfully, I didn't have to wait that long. With a simple snap of Death's fingers, it disappeared.

"Go wait."

I walked over to the door and leaned against the rough brick wall. I watched as Death walked onto a small stage. He switched on the microphone, and speakers crackled into life. They spilled out the karaoke version to a Fall Out Boy song. As he sang, I found myself unable to move, unable to look away. His voice was stunning.

Harsh light broke me out of the trance. I turned and stared at the door beside me. It dissolved into nothingness, leaving only the frame which began to writhe. Insanely cool to watch, I couldn't help but feel terror seep into me, squeezing my throat. The wood shifted, warped, and rippled until an arch made of rough-hewn stone stood where the door once was. A dark, endless void laid beyond it.

"What are you waiting for, kid? It's not going to kill you."

"Well, yeah, cause I'm dead," I smiled, looking back at Death. I tried to play it off like he hadn't startled me. "And what was that about?"

"Kid, I think you can figure out why I'm a good singer."

"Let me guess, is it because you're a divine being?"

"Ding-ding-ding, correct. Give the lady her prize. Though you'll probably pick it up soon enough."

I raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?"

"It doesn't matter." Death waved a hand. "Now come on before this closes." He walked forward and disappeared into the darkness. I didn't follow after him right away. Something I came to immediately regret. Almost as soon as Death passed through the arch, it began to twist back into a door. My eyes widened, and I dove through.

My body hit a stone floor, and all of my breath left my body. Someone sighed above me, and I lifted my head. Death stared down at me, with one eyebrow quirked up slightly.

He snorted and shook his head. "Get up. You're making yourself look stupid," he said.

"Like she can do that when you're standing next to her," Gabriel said.

"God, can you control your child?"

"He's a grown angel, he can make his own decisions." God gave a weary smile. "Besides, my creations have free will. That includes angels."

"But the moment I try to be like you, you throw me out," Luci said, rising from his seat as I lifted myself from the ground. God stood up, bracing himself against the table.

"Because you aren't meant to be like me."

"Wow, I never realized that! Not like I don't have burnt wings or broken script or anything." Luci's charred wings fluttered, and he winced. He pulled them closer to his body, but with every movement, pain flashed across his chiseled features.

"And this is why we never invite you to our Christmas party." Uriel breathed out, staring at the clear liquid at the bottom of his cup.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Am I supposed to celebrate the guy whose followers have routinely committed murder to further the religion? Am I supposed to celebrate the guy who promises redemption to all who repent? I've told you I'm sorry, but has that gotten me anywhere? No, it hasn't. So why should mortals get a second chance when you won't give me one?"

"Uh, kid, how about we go get some drinks?" Death grabbed my shirt sleeve and pulled me away from the brewing argument. We approached the counter, one near identical to the one where Eve was at.

Instead of a woman, two men were working. One was placing glasses in their place, while the second busied himself by cleaning the bar. Neither of them looked at us.

"Jesus Christ, nice to see you again, my man." Death grinned. Death noticed me staring at the man's name tag and laughed. "Kid, he's Hispanic. His parents saw their chance, and they took it."

"Something that managed to get me this job. I'm guessing you want the usual?" Jesus asked, reaching under the counter.

"And a root beer for the kid. Put it on my tab."

Jesus nodded. He placed an old-fashioned bottle of pop on the counter, along with a modern root beer. Death grabbed the bottle and handed me the can. He reached into his pocket and pulled out some coins. He tossed them onto the counter, where they spun and rolled for a little bit. A few fell off, and Jesus glared at him.

"I hate you."

"No, you don't," Death said over his shoulder as he started towards the others. I followed after him, weaving around the relaxed wings filling the space between tables. When I got back, I had no idea what happened between the angels and Luci. Parts of the table burned with blue fire, while other parts shone with a blinding light. As the flames grew, and the glow brightened further, I realized I didn't want to know.

A glass slammed onto the table, and the other bartender stood behind it. "What have I told you about fighting?"

"Adam-" God stopped mid-sentence as Adam's eyes narrowed into a glare.

"My wife and I were already kicked out once. You know the rules, and I'm not letting you destroy this," Adam removed the lid from a bottle. He poured the contents into the crystal glass before walking away.

Smoke rose from the liquid. It gave off an eerie glow in the dim light of neon signs. Luci's hand wrapped around the shot glass. He touched it to his lips. The drink disappeared in one quick gulp.

Gabriel's snaked his hand out and tried to grab Michael's drink. Michael reacted quickly, slapping Gabe's hand and downing whatever he had in his cup.

"Drink your juice box," God said.

Pulling a chair over from a nearby table, Death sat down; I copied him, and I stared as they began speaking in their weird language. I sighed, tapped my fingers against the wood, which had returned to normal, and glanced around the bar.

Neon signs hung from the walls. They dimly illuminated the twenty or so other tables scattered around the room. The two trees planted in the middle of the floor gave off a soft glow, casting our table in a brighter light.

Angels and demons filled the chairs, a clear divide segregating the groups. Wings crowded each other on the right side of the room, while the left was filled with horned creatures. None of them tried to get closer to God or Lucifer. I expected them to try to get an autograph or something, but they kept their distance.

There was a thud from beside me. I looked over. Death's head rested against the table. Mumbled words left his lips, and I guessed that they were cuss words.

"What's with him?" I asked.

"Nothing that concerns you," Lucifer said.

"Actually, since I'm his apprentice, I think it does concern me, Luci."

"Why you little-"

Death raised his head enough to look at us. "Stop. Both of you. We don't need the balance more screwed up than it already is."

"I don't see how arguing with her will affect it much." Luci kicked his feet onto the table. Ash coated the soles of his combat boots. Some of it came off and scattered across the surface.

"She's my apprentice, part of my realm. She needs to stay as neutral as I am. If the two of you start arguing, it's going to move us closer to heaven. We can't afford that. Not right now. Not until we get this fixed."

I pressed my lips together before asking, "Get what fixed?"

Death lifted his head from the table and looked at me. His eyes no longer glowed, they seemed to hold the worries of every man that had ever walked the earth. His shoulders fell, and he shifted his gaze to the bottle in front of him.

"Everything."

Chapter: 1,735

Book: 7,332

Well uh...

Not much to say in this but how'd you like the chapter?

Also I made a writing advice book which is probably bad but I'm going to do my best with it

See yah