I woke up and looked around. "Where did Kaz go?" I asked Leo, noticing that he was awake.

"He was going to help Pete get ready. Pete really fucked up his knee when he fell on Kaz," Leo said, jumping out of his bed.

Leave it to Kaz. He goes out of his way to help a guy who injured himself trying to hurt Kaz.

I got out of bed and went down to the bathroom with my stuff. I showered and brushed my teeth, heading to the room and getting dressed. I looked at myself in the mirror and tried to calm my anxiety. I had run it over and over in my mind until I fell asleep last night, and this choice was the best one for me.

Leo waited until I was ready and we left the room together. We caught up to the others in the hallway, making our way out of the dorm together.

Pete was leaning heavily on Kaz as he limped along. Kaz didn't seem to mind it, even though Pete had hurt him.

I stepped up next to Kaz and glanced at Pete. He seemed higher than usual, probably off of all the pain meds he was taking for his knee.

"Kaz, when do you think Constance will find me?" I asked.

Kaz shrugged. "Probably after class. He'll expect you to go crazy with anxiety all day."

"Well, he's not wrong," I grumbled.

"There's no reason to be anxious. Whatever choice you make, it'll be for the best," Kaz said.

Goddamn him for caring about others more than himself. Goddamn him for not caring if he got hurt as long it meant I was happier.

"Kaz," I said, because I had to know now that I was in a position where I could hurt him. "Did you forgive Aaron for hurting you?"

He looked at me curiously. "Aaron wasn't exactly the most...sane."

"So you did forgive him," I said. "Let me just tell you, if I knew where Aaron whatever his last name is lived, I would put ketchup packets under his toilet seats and replace his shampoo with Nair."

Kaz laughed a little. "Cruel, O'Malley. I really hope you don't do that to my ex boyfriend, Aaron Kizziar, whose address can be found when you Google his name. Really hope you don't find him."

I snickered but then paused. Kaz said he didn't like my name, but he'd never said why. Maybe I was just reaching here, but Killian and Kizziar were pretty damn close in spelling.

"O'Malley is long. You can call me Malley," I said.

"It's one letter shorter."

"Fuck you I'm trying to be nice."

"You're not very good at it."

"Shut up and accept me being nice you piece of shit."

He smirked and helped Pete into the academic building. We all took our seats and waited for Mr. Sternberg to start class.

I drummed my fingers on my desk, unable to stop thinking about Constance. Everything was going to change no matter what I choose. But the decision I made was stressing me out.

Dammit. Was it too much to ask to just live a simple life? All I wanted to do was have an accepting family and a cute boyfriend and buy a corgi and occasionally get laid and watch bad scifi movies and eat a lot of mac and cheese.

Sternberg finally started class but I just couldn't focus, no matter how hard I tried to. I zoned out through all of my classes and even through lunch.

By the time classes finally ended, I was a walking mess. Kaz had behaved in all of our classes today, not even leaning back in his chair like he usually did. He'd just sat there, done his work, and kept his mouth shut. It was stressing me out even more. Kaz never acted like a normal student.

We left the class and all of us started walking back towards the dorm building. Beckett caught up to us, but I didn't pay attention to him. I was running my hands through my hair and trying to cling to some ounce of sanity.

"Malley." Kaz grabbed my wrists and forced my arms down. He reached out and fixed my hair for me. "Calm down. It's all going to be okay."

"How is any of this going to be okay?" I said, voice getting hysterical.

"Look at me." He tipped my head up and I forced myself to meet his eyes. "Whatever you choose, I know you'll choose it because you're taking care of yourself. That's good. That's what you have to do. You shouldn't feel anxious or afraid to do what's best for you."

I took a few deep breaths. "Okay, okay, I know. I'm just freaking out. I always make bad decisions. But I think I'm making the right one this time."

"Then that's all that matters." He offered me a smile.

"Killian."

My heart leapt up into my throat and I swallowed it back down to my chest. I spun to face Headmaster Constance, who stood there with an expression that said he knew he'd won his little game.

"Have you come to a decision?" he asked cheerfully.

I looked at Kaz before sliding my gaze back over to Constance. I nodded, and mentally reminded myself that this was the best decision.

"Yes, sir," I said.

"Excellent. What should I be telling your parent, then?" he asked.

"Can you give me a moment, Headmaster Constance?" I asked. He looked curious, so I took that as a yes and pulled my phone out. I tapped on FaceTime, hit my mom's contact, and waited as it rang.

"Killian?" mom said, appearing on the screen. "What do you need?"

"I need to tell you something," I said, walking over to Leo. I put the phone in his hands. "Um, can you just...yea, just hold that and point it at me."

"Uh, okay?" Leo said, holding the phone up so that it was pointed at me.

I walked back over and stood next to Kaz. "Mom, I know you sent me here to fix my sexuality," I said, trying to keep my voice strong. "So I have to admit this to you. This is Kaz. He...we started dating here. But I realize now that that's only going to upset you. So..."

Everyone was staring at me, even Constance. He looked like he didn't know what to do. I looked at Kaz and saw the way he was desperately trying to hide the hurt in his eyes. He smiled at me, but it didn't light up his face like usual.

I looked back at my mom, seeing her paling face on the screen. "So I wanted to tell you that I used to be sorry it upset you, but I'm not anymore. This isn't a part of me you can change, mom. There's nothing to fix because there's nothing broken."

I turned and cupped Kaz's face in mine, kissing him with an uncontained ferocity. Kaz put his arms around my waist, kissing me back.

I pulled away from his lips and faced my horrified mother again. "Being gay isn't a choice, but dating Kaz is. And I think it's a great choice. I mean, maybe not as great as dating someone who's never been arrested and who has good hair. But still. He's a good person. And if you can't be happy for me that I'm dating a good guy who treats me right, then shame on you. Parents are supposed to love and support their children. Not abandon them the second their child has a quality they don't like." I reached out and took Kaz's hand in mine. "Mom, I'm healthy and I'm generally a good person and I don't get into trouble. But you're willing to be ashamed of me over who I'm attracted to, and that makes you the sick one, not me."

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit," Leo hissed, trying to nudge Mikayla and hold my phone steady at the same time.

Beckett was staring at me in awe, Pete looked like he was trying to focus despite the extreme haze of drugs, and Mikayla flashed me the first genuine smile I think I'd ever seen on her face. Kaz squeezed my hand in silent support. Constance gazed at us silently, probably trying to plan out his next move.

"Killian," mom said, voice choked. "Killian Connor O'Malley. How can you choose this life for yourself? How can you do this to me and your father?"

"How can you do this to me? You loved me for 17 years and then abandoned me when you saw me making out with a guy. Shame on you, not on me. That's not how a parent should ever act. Kaz makes me happy. The people I've met here make me happy. Well, except for Beckett, but he's the personification of anger." Beckett glared at me and I ignored him. "If you can't support me, I'll learn to live with that. My friends here support me."

"Shit yea I do!" Leo said, grinning. "You can have the bedroom to yourself anytime you want. Oh, shit, sorry Mrs. O'Malley."

"Don't apologize to her," I said. I looked at my mom, knowing I was breaking her heart and wanting her to know she'd already broken mine. "You and dad hurt me. You hurt me a lot, mom. Guess what? I'm not broken and I refuse to closet myself again just to please you. I'll never be happy if I do that. Don't you want me to be happy?" She was silent, tears in her eyes. "I'm going to date boys and have sex with them and probably marry one someday. If you can't accept that, then you can't accept me, and that's your problem. I might be 90% meme, but I'm still a shitty person to lose from your life. I've made my decision. Now you can make yours."

I nodded at Leo and he hung up the call, tossing me my phone back. I put it in my pocket and looked at Constance.

"Okay, now you can call my mom," I said.

"That was a poor decision, Mr. O'Malley. You might feel heroic now, but how will you feel when you have to go back home to your parents and Kaz and your friends aren't there?" Constance said.

"FaceTime, duh," Leo said. Mikayla elbowed him to shut him up before he got himself into more trouble with Constance.

"We all have to go home and face our families. But we're not going to be separated forever," Kaz said. "If O'Malley needs us, we can road trip out to him and support him. That's what you don't get, Constance. You try to break us, but we're still standing. We support each other. We will never let you break us."

"We'll see about that, Casimir," Constance said. He folded his hands behind his back. "Now, I still have some phone calls to make concerning Leo and the Siggeir brothers."

"Hey, Constance," Mikayla said. "Why don't you go find a hobby besides putting down kids? You're pathetic. Imagine carrying a child in your womb for nine months and you give birth to it and it's you. I'd be so disappointed."

"Same. I'd probably dump it in the trash on my way out of the hospital," Leo said. "By the way, Constance, tell my parents that I say hi. I'm pretty happy at the Academy, actually." He slung an arm around Mikayla's shoulders and grinned. "My parents can fuck themselves if they think I'll be their puppet any longer."

Constance kept the smile on his face. "You're all so confident now. Reality will settle in when this school year ends."

He turned and walked away from us. Kaz was staring at me and I frowned at him.

"What? Please don't tell me I had something in my teeth while I gave my mom that speech," I said.

He shook his head. "No, no. It's just...you picked me over your family."

He sounded genuinely shocked. I knew there were a few reasons for that. I knew Kaz found his family to be more important than anything or anyone. I knew Aaron hadn't picked Kaz in the end. I knew he'd had his hopes up with Aaron only to be crushed in the end, so he probably hadn't gotten his hopes up when I had to decide.

"You're so overdramatic," I said and kissed him, hard.

When I pulled away from him, Leo came over and slapped me on the back. He grinned at me.

"Good for you, standing up to your mom like that. I'll sleep in Mika's room tonight," he said.

"Hey, I didn't agree to that," Mikayla said in annoyance.

"Oh, hush, I'm like a human space heater," Leo said. "Besides, I'll let you wear my T-shirt to bed. The one I got from the Waterparks concert."

Mikayla perked up. "Oh, the big, soft shirt. Okay, you have a deal, Leo."

"I'm not upset anymore. Does this mean I can kiss your collarbone all night?" I asked.

Kaz hugged me tightly, letting out a weak laugh. "You can do whatever you want."

"Never tell me I can do whatever I want," I said. "One time Tanner said that and I gave him a blow job to All Star by Smash Mouth."

Kaz's body shook against mine with laughter. He turned his face, pressing it against my neck and kissing the skin there. I hugged him back, closing my eyes, confident I had made the right decision.

And Kaz. Easy-going, always calm Kaz. Barely managing to hold himself together because he was so happy and so touched that I had chosen him over my parents.

Kaz stepped back from me, trying to mold his smile into his usual easy-going expression. Mikayla came over and punched my shoulder.

"Congratulations on finally growing a spine," she said.

"Please do not ever use your large muscles on my fragile body ever again thank you," I said, rubbing my shoulder and inching away from her.

Mikayla rolled her eyes. "And the spine is gone again."

"Girl, you hit hard!" I whined.

"Whatever. Let's go back to the dorms," she said.

We all nodded. Kaz went over to Pete and helped him walk. We made our way back to the dorm building and into Kaz's room.

Kaz climbed onto his bed after Pete sit. Beckett jumped up and took his usual seat next to Kaz. Kaz looked at me expectantly and I got up onto the bed on his other side. Leo and Mikayla made themselves comfortable on the floor.

I wanted to call my mom and talk to her, but I also knew she needed time to process everything and think it over. Was her son more important than her homophobia?

Kaz pulled out his phone as it vibrated. He smiled a little and unlocked his phone, tapping the screen a few times.

"You got to FaceTime your mom, and now I get to FaceTime mine," he said as it rang.

I watched as Kaz's mom's face appeared on the screen. "Hi Kaz!"

"Hey mom." He tilted spun the phone around slowly so she could see everyone in the room. "Say hi to everyone."

"Hi everyone!" she said.

Everyone let out a chorus of hellos to Kaz's mom. Kaz turned the camera back on himself, but had it at an angle where I was in the shot too.

"Mom, this is O'Malley. The boy I'm dating," he said.

"It's nice to meet you," his mom said with a smile. "What's your first name? I'm sorry my son is rudely not including that."

"I'm Killian. I wish your son's hair was as nice as him," I said and slapped a hand over my mouth. "I also wish I could surgically remove my mouth already."

"He hates my hair," Kaz informed his mother.

"Really? I think you look handsome," his mom said, laughing.

"Aw, how cute, Kaz's mom thinks he's handsome," Leo said.

"Yea, well, someone has to," I said.

Kaz's mom laughed again, that same open laugh that Kaz had. "Well, you be good to him, Killian. And keep an eye on him."

"Alright, alright. I just wanted to introduce you two," Kaz said, shaking his head. "Goodbye, mother."

"Goodbye, rude son." She smiled at him. "I'll talk to you later, Kaz. I love you."

"I love you too," he said and hung up. He stuck his middle finger up at me pleasantly. "Thanks for being an asshole."

I wrapped my middle finger around his. "Anytime, shithead."

"You two are gross," Beckett said. "Let's play cards."

I flipped Beckett off before jumping off the bed. We all gathered in a circle on the floor, passing out cards and starting up a few games. We bet with snacks and drinks, laughing and taunting each other.

It was nice. I could forget about my troubles with my parents for a while as we played. Pete came off his drugs just enough to function like he normally did, and even he seemed in a cheerful mood, though most of it was probably forced.

We ate and joked and played music. We laughed with each other and told stories about our lives back home and I listened as the others told stories about the trouble they'd gotten into in the past.

As it got later, Beckett had to head home, and Pete's drugs were knocking him out. Kaz, Mikayla, Leo, and I got up and left the room.

I stared at Leo in confusion as he walked past our room. "Uh, Leo? This is your room."

"I know. I told you I was sleeping in Mika's room tonight," he said, grinning.

"Wha- Oh. Oh, you god amongst men. You absolute blessing from the heavens," I said.

"Wow Killian, you're totally not desperate or anything," Mikayla said. She grabbed Leo's shirt and pulled him down the hallway. "Come on, I don't want to be anywhere near that room for a while."

Kaz and I went into the room. He'd brought shorts and a T-shirt with him to sleep in, so the two of us changed quickly and got into the bed. Kaz hid himself until Cam had checked our room.

"Wow, okay, so here we are, room to ourselves for the night," I said after locking the door. "Gee golly, a sleepover."

Kaz rolled his eyes as he made himself comfortable on my bed. I crawled in next to him and he hugged me to himself.

"Thank you," he mumbled against my shoulder. "For picking me. Thank you."

"You were the choice that would make me happiest." I paused and groaned. "Happiest and sappiest, fuck me. No, but seriously, do that. Or, well, do me. Or I could do you. You know what? I'm versatile."

"Versatile and desperate." He pulled away from my shoulder and kissed me.

"Kaz, I won't hurt you like Aaron did," I said before I could stop myself. "I can tell that he put you through hell. I won't do that to you. I won't use you."

"I know you won't. I'm not a 15 year old with a crush anymore, Malley. Two years may not be much, but it's enough for me to have learned a lot about people," he said, pulling me closer. "Besides, you're not exactly threatening. Did you even notice that your blanket was gone?"

I looked down. "Kaz! How the hell did you even take the blanket off of me without me noticing?!"

Kaz laughed. "I'm talented."

He put the blanket back over me. I reached out, tugged his shirt down, and began kissing at his collarbone. Fine, asshole, take my blanket. I'd get revenge by...well you know what, I'd get revenge later. For now, I had other things that more important.

Kaz tangled his hand into my hair as I kissed at his collarbone. I could feel his body tensing against mine. Good. I wanted to do this with Kaz. I wanted to have the kind of relationship where we felt comfortable being physical or just laughing over stupid puns together. I wanted a relationship as easy-going but loving as Kaz himself.

I let my hands slide lower as I kissed at him. His hold on me tightened, his hands brushing against my skin as my shirt tugged up. I pulled the covers up over our bodies, and despite the darkness of the room, our night lit up.