MY BIRTHDAY TREAT FOR Y'ALL!!

💙

|You walked through my chaos, found me whole from the pieces by shore, cradled my heart and soothed my soul|

by medicallymessedup

▪︎present•

After what felt like the longest minutes of her life, a disoriented Ruchi pulled back from Aryan, and for a second, the air around seemed to thicken.

Every inch of her body screamed to stay still, to let him wrap her in his arms like he always did when she needed him most. To let him hold her like he had so many times before, where the world felt like it could be set on fire and she'd still be okay because he was there to hold her fears at bay and silence the war raging inside her.

But her heart was a battered mess, and the last thing she wanted was for him to see it, yet that gnawing urge to just give in-to let go and let him be the one to fix everything was overwhelming.

And that was the problem, wasn't it?

She couldn't just rely on him. She couldn't keep needing him to save her, to carry her through the shitstorm of her life.

She had to be strong. Learn to be strong. For herself, if no one else.

She took a shaky breath, focusing on the sharp edges of her thoughts that were trying to make sense of it all.

From the way he was staring at her, his intense eyes following her every move felt like he could see right through the walls she'd built up for years.

It was suffocating at best, but in a strange way, it was also a relief. If only she could admit that out loud, given the words were stuck in her throat, suffocated by all the things she couldn't say.

Yet her lips parted with something more than just between inhaling and exhaling to a strained murmur: "You need to get those bruises treated, Aryan." She could almost see the wheels turning in his head-the part of him that was desperately trying to reach her-to pull her back from wherever she was drifting away. But the worn-out piece of her soul wasn't ready to go there, not with him. Not now, at least. Yet when his voice finally came, it was soft but laced with something that made her heart lurch ominously nonetheless.

"Don't deflect, Ruchi. Don't do that."

She pressed her lips together, fighting the urge to snap at him. She could feel herself slipping; she could feel the floodgates threatening to burst open if she let herself sink any deeper into this conversation. But even as her mind screamed at her to keep him at arm's length, she couldn't stop the gravitating pull toward him-toward that warmth, that strength he exuded effortlessly. He was there-always there, even when she didn't want him to be. And part of her hated that, because it meant she had to face the things she wasn't ready to face.

"I'm fine."

She said, her voice sounding foreign to her own ears-too brittle, too forced. She could see the way his expression softened, how his gaze turned from frustration to something like concern, and it made her want to crawl out of her skin.

She hated this hard enough. She hated how much she needed him to see through the mask, and she hated even more that she was letting him.

Aryan took a slow step closer, and the space between them diminished with every movement.

"You're not fine. Don't pretend like you are. Not with me. Not after everything."

His voice was plangent, but there was something unmistakably raw in it-an undercurrent of something he didn't usually show her.

He was angry and frustrated, but most prominent of all, he was... truly worried. Concerned. The man was ready to burn the world down for her and not try to fix her like some lost cause. And that thought terrified her more than Ruchi cared to admit.

She swallowed, forcing herself to meet his eyes, even though every part of her was screaming for her to look away, yet she didn't let that scared voice in her head win for once.

"Come with me." She told him gingerly, slipping her fingers into his palm and letting him walk inside her room.

Once inside, she motioned toward the ottoman, asking him to sit before turning herself to walk inside the bathroom. Her hands moved mechanically, rummaging through the cabinets in order to pick up the first aid kit and head back into the bedroom to find him exactly where she needed.

Setting the kit down, she pulled out the alcohol swabs and bandages while her hands shook all this time, which pissed her off as he undermined her poise.

"You're not going to stop after this once, are you mister?" Aryan's gaze softened, the turgidity fading into something more empathetic as he didn't speak right away, but his expression answered her question before he even opened his mouth.

No. He wasn't going to let her push him away. Not this time. And God, that only made it worse.

She blinked, the solid lump in her throat threatening to choke her, and she quickly focused on the task at hand. Anyhow she couldn't escape its wrath or the way her mind was screaming at her to just let go for once. To let him see her, all of her-all of the broken pieces that were scattered too far to ever be put back together.

Fending off the urge, she plucked out an alcohol swab, tore it open, and gently touched it to the bruise on his knuckles, trying to distract herself from the way her heart was aching in a way that felt like a bottomless hole was growing in her chest. She hated that those beautiful hands of her beautiful man had to fight for her yet again, that they bore marks for battles she wasn't even aware of while they screamed of loyalty she wasn't sure she had earned so far, mirroring a reflection of her own helplessness.

"What exactly happened, Aryan? What did you do with Aakash?" Ruchi wasn't sure if she wanted to hear the answer, but she knew she couldn't leave it alone without hearing him talk.

Aryan's jaw tightened as his eyes flickered briefly down to where her fingers were still holding the alcohol swab to his skin while his silence stretched on, until slowly, he shook his head.

"Trust me, love, you're better off not knowing." His words were simple but meant that he knew her too well. Knew how her mind would run in circles, how she would twist whatever he told her into something worse, something that would keep her awake at night, though she couldn't help but frown, her brows knitting together in frustration.

She opened her mouth to argue but then sensed the quiet resignation exuding from him that divulged otherwise. Apparently, the details of whatever occurred weren't something he was willing to revisit with her, obligating her to realize that maybe he was attempting to protect her because the truth wasn't something he wanted to burden her with, not when she was already falling so often, so close to the edge of breaking.

Shoulders slumped; the weight of it all plummeted into her bones as she didn't push and just nodded, striving to accept whatever transpired. "But just so you know, I might not overthink it the way you assume." She wasn't sure who she was trying to convince-him or herself.

Her tending fingers stalled for a split second when she noticed the corner of Aryan's mouth twitch.

That almost-smile, which had always managed to disarm her, made her blood simmer with frustration as she glared hard, pulling her hands away from his bruised knuckles.

"What's so funny?"

"You." His rogue smirk was imperceptible, but it was there, biding at the edges of his cavernous lips, betraying the amusement he wasn't bothering to hide.

"What about me?" She repeated, her brow arching as she crossed her arms over her chest. He leaned back slightly, resting his forearms on his thighs, his posture lazy, his gaze anything but.

"You always get so worked up when you're trying to act tough." He tilted his head, his lips quirking into a full smile now, the kind that made her stomach twist in ways she hated admitting. "It's cute, wifey."

"Cute?" Her voice turned incredulous. "You think this-" she gestured vaguely at herself in disbelief. "-is cute?"

Aryan shrugged, unfazed by her glare. "Yeah. Cute. Adorable, even."

Her jaw dropped, and for a moment, she was too stunned to respond. Was he seriously trying to patronize her right now? Her mind gunned for a retort, but all she could feel was the heat rising to her face, equal parts irritation and embarrassment.

"You're insufferable." She snapped finally, throwing the used alcohol swab into the trash with more force than necessary, earning his laughter, the sound deep and rich, and she hated how much it made her pulse quicken.

"And you're terrible at hiding how much you love it." His silver-tongued confidence only added fuel to the fire as she squinted eyes, her rich walnut gaze practically spitting flames now.

"Are you somehow delusional, Mr. Mallik? Since I barely tolerate you on a good day."

His smile widened, clearly enjoying the fire he'd lit in her amidst all this back-and-forth.

"Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night."

Her fists clenched at her sides as she paced a few steps away from Aryan, trying to tamp down whatever was threatening to spill over.

Her mind was scattered, connecting dots she wasn't sure she wanted to connect, but she couldn't stop herself from turning back to face him with a hardened look.

"Was Samiksha involved?"

His relaxed posture stiffened instantly, and his gaze dropped for a split second-an uncharacteristic tell that she didn't miss as it was his turn to deflect.

"Ruchi," Aryan began, his tone gentle but guarded. "Don't-"

"Don't what?" She interrupted, her voice sharper this time. "Don't ask? Don't question why I heard your name and hers in the same damn sentence while you were talking to the cops."

"What exactly did you hear?" He asked, his tone calm but threaded with an edge that sent a shiver down her spine. Still, she didn't back down.

"I know enough to assume that she's the sidekick in the anarchy you plotted to put Aakash in his place."

"The motherfucker deserved it." He spat out, his voice biting cold. There was no hesitation, no apology in his words, just a stone-cold certainty that made Ruchi's blood run hot. "He had it coming; no, actually, he was asking for it."

She closed her eyes briefly, fighting back the sting of tears behind her eyes with the pressure of everything pressing down on her chest while she ran a hand through her hair, trying to piece together her scrambled thoughts.

However, all she could do was shake her head; her voice tired and cracked as she muttered. "I don't know what to do with any of this anymore, Aryan. Whatever's happening around me-it's like everything's spinning out of control. And I'm just so... done." Her voice broke on the last word, and Aryan stared at her, searching for the fire he was used to but finding only ashes. He was used to her fire, her quick comebacks, and her stubborn determination to fight him tooth and nail most of the time. But this? This version of her-quiet, defeated-was something he wasn't equipped to handle. "I'm done wishing things could be different, done wanting to fix the mess I keep finding myself in. It's like, every time I try to do the right thing, it all just blows up in my face. And you-" She broke off, her voice trembling as her hands dropped to her sides. "I can't even figure out if I'm mad at you, or myself, or the whole goddamn world. Whatever it is, I'm just tired of feeling like I'm the root cause of it all."

Her confession, small and hollow, hung in the air like a loaded gun, and for the first time in their argument, he didn't seem to have a cheeky retort or some clever way to deflect as Ruchi shook her head and took a step back, her arms crossing protectively over her chest. "You know what? Forget it. I need to get out of here. I can't do it all at once. She swallowed hard, forcing herself to stand tall even as the ache in her chest grew sharper.

She turned, making a beeline for the door as if putting physical distance between them would somehow make the chaos in her head easier to bear.

But before she could make it out of his orbit, Aryan cut her escape short with his strong hands catching her waist and hauling her back before she could react.

"What the hell, Aryan?" Ruchi grumbled, twisting in his hold, but her surprise was cut off by a startled yelp that followed as he tugged her down, pulling her into his lap with a force that left her breathless.

Her hands instinctively flew to his chest, trying to push herself up, but he didn't budge, locking his arms around her like steel bands instead as his face remained inches from hers, his stormy gaze boring into her with an intensity that made her breath hitch, and for a moment, all the fight in her seemed to drain away.

"You don't get to simply walk away from me at every chance you get." He gritted out, "Especially not like this when you're blaming yourself for shit that's not even your fault."

She blinked at him, caught off guard by the uncharacteristic vulnerability in his tone. "Aryan-"

"Shush for a second, will you?" Aryan's hold tightening slightly on her waist, as if he were afraid she'd bolt again. "You're not the root cause of anything that I or anyone else did, Baby. If anything, you're the only goddamn reason I haven't completely lost my sh*t by now."

Her mouth opened to protest, but the look on his face stopped her. He looked... tired. Like he was clinging to control he clearly didn't have, and she felt a pang of something softer, something she was afraid to label every time they're so close.

"I know I screwed up. A lot. And yeah, maybe I dragged short stuff into this mess because I thought I could handle it. Thought I could fix everything myself." He admitted, his voice quieter now, almost like he was talking to himself. "But you? You're the one thing in my life that actually makes sense, even when everything else is falling apart." Aryan's grip on her waist braced another notch but remained gentle, with his forehead dropping to hers as he exhaled heavily, the sound rough and jagged. "I don't think you realize it." His breath a warm caress against her cheek. "But you've been doing that for me-saving me-even from miles apart. Even when I've been a mess. Hell, especially when I've been a mess."

A dull thud echoed in Ruchi's chest as a bittersweet mix of pain and pleasure hit her all at once. The tears that had been threatening to spill finally did, slowly streaming down her cheeks, bound to come out eventually.

But still, the sting in her chest felt like a fresh wound, and her hands suffered a fit as they pressed against his shoulders, the words slipping out of her mouth before she'd stop it, her voice cracking, raw.

"How?"

Ruchi felt her chest thaw with despair as the tears came harder now, but she didn't try to wipe them away.

She didn't have the energy anymore to pretend she was fine because she wasn't. She hadn't been fine for a long time, and every second spent with him made her want to be more than just fine.

"Tell me, how can I have saved you when I've been drowning all my life, Aryan?"

His lips quirked up in a rueful smile, the kind that was equal parts self-deprecating and deeply growing aware of her need to prove herself in a world that doubted her at every turn. One of his hands, which had been gripping her waist, slid into her hair, thumb brushed over her scalp in an almost soothing motion with the rest of the fingers curling, gripping a gentle fistful of her hair, tilting her head slightly so their eyes locked. The storm in his gaze pulled her in, a chaos she recognized because it mirrored her own.

"How?" Aryan repeated her question and let the silence stretch between them for a moment, his eyes searching hers as if to make sure she was really listening, really absorbing everything he was about to say. "You ask me how?" He let out a soft, bitter laugh, his eyes gleaming with a mixture of admiration and sorrow. "You saved my nine-year-old lost self, Ruchi. Under that damn Gulmohar tree when I was invisible to myself. You were the one who saw me-who saw the boy I was when I thought being alone was my only option. You brought me back to life before I even knew how to fight for it. Just by being there stubbornly. By being you."

She felt a shudder run through her as her body leaned into him instinctively, a movement so subtle it almost felt like she didn't have control over it.

Her chest rose and fell with uneven breaths, every inhale shaky, every exhale caught between words and emotions that had nowhere to go. The ache inside her throat threatened to choke her as she tried to make sense of what he was saying. The tears kept coming, unstoppable now, hot trails down her cheeks as he continued.

"You saved me by never letting me forget there's a reason to fight. Even when I was pushing you away, acting too stubborn to admit as a boy that young that I needed you. You stayed then. You fought. You never gave up on me-not when it felt like I didn't deserve it for being an ungrateful asshole to you. That's how you did it, baby, by saving me in every way that mattered."

In that moment, she felt like she wasn't alone in her chaos, and to feel the reality of that strong feeling up close, her hand reached up to touch his face while he leaned into her touch.

"And you," Aryan's voice dropped, his tone almost reverent as his gaze bore into hers. "You saved yourself too by finding a way to keep going. You kept your head above water when everything was trying to drag you under. You didn't just survive-you fought to stay alive. You fought when there was no one to fight for you. You kept your spirit intact even when it felt like the whole world wanted to break you. You made it through the hell you've been through, Ruchi, alone, without ever losing yourself. That's how you saved yourself. You never let them take the girl who was strong, who was brave enough to feel, even when feeling hurt like hell."

Ruchi felt like she was drowning in his words, with everything slowly seeping into her skin. She had never really thought of it like that-fighting through everything. She had always just been surviving. Barely hanging on, doing what she could to keep going, to put one foot in front of the other. But to hear him say it like that? Like she was some kind of warrior? It felt foreign, almost impossible, but somehow hit her home too. She had spent so many years thinking she was a mess, that she needed someone to fix her, that she wasn't worth anything unless someone could come along and put the shattered pieces of her back together. But Aryan? He was telling her the opposite. He was saying she had done it herself, that she had pulled herself out of the darkness when everyone else had either ignored her or tried to take advantage of her.

How long has he known her for?

The question burned through her mind like an ache that had no place to go.

She needed to understand. She needed to make sense of everything-of him, of them, of the strange, consuming pull she had always felt but couldn't explain.

"Why don't I remember you then?" She wasn't even sure why she asked. Maybe because it hurt so much to hear him talk like that, to know that there was so much history between them that she couldn't remember, didn't remember, and now all of it was threatening to overwhelm her.

She didn't know what she was expecting, but it wasn't the look that passed across his face then.

It wasn't anger, frustration, or even bitterness-it was pain.

Real, slowly-burning kind of pain that made her want to apologize, even though she wasn't sure for what, as if she had unknowingly left a part of him behind too over the years.

"I wonder why you didn't remember me either every fucking second of my life too, baby." He wasn't looking at her like he hated her. He wasn't blaming her for forgetting him. But damn, she felt the force of it slam into her-the loneliness in his words, the years he'd spent without her, the years she had spent not even knowing he was there-all at once.

She didn't know how to respond. His words hung there, suspended in the air between them, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.

"I never knew I meant that much to you." Her voice faltered; she wiped at her cheeks, but the tears wouldn't stop coming. "I never knew. Aryan. I don't... I don't remember today, but I swear to God, I didn't forget you on purpose."

Aryan shook his head slowly, a soft smile curling on his lips as he began to gently cradle her neck with his thumb tracing soothing circles along her skin, a gesture so tender it felt like it was melting away all the tension she'd been holding in her body along the chaos that disappeared, the confusion, the mess of emotions that had been swirling inside her for what felt like forever.

"I don't need you to remember me, baby. I remember you. I remember everything about you-your laugh, the way you get all stubborn when you're mad, how you always gave me something I didn't know I could have all this time-hope, how I earned something I never expected to come to my being-peace."

"You don't need to remember me to make it real because what we have-it's always been real and has always been here." She blinked rapidly, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over again, but she couldn't help it. "And about you forgetting me?" He winked playfully with a beautiful edge underneath the lightness.

"Well, that's forgiven already on my part since I inked you into my very handsome existence early on as my future wife, on both our accounts, of course."

"How long have you been fostering such wild thoughts, huh?" She asked, a shaky, teary chuckle that bubbled out from her mouth, loud and vulnerable.

"Foster? No, I've lived those thoughts, breathed them, and made them my reality."

His lips brushed over her knuckles in a slow, deliberate kiss, with the warmth of his mouth sending an electric current straight through her.

His touch was tender, but there was something fierce behind it-something that spoke of devotion so sacred it bordered on loyalty.

She shuddered in response to it, her body involuntarily pressing closer to him with her front molding against the solid planes of his chest as he tilted his head slightly, kissing her knuckles again, this time a little longer, a little softer, allowing her to see the storm of emotions raging within him-love, longing, pain, hope-all laid bare for her.

"I didn't begin with you as my wife," Aryan said softly, his voice like velvet, rough around the edges yet infinitely gentle. "But you pretty sure started as my salvation. The one I surrendered to ever since I was a boy who didn't know what love was. Who didn't understand how much it could hurt and heal all at once? And I've grown on that very love, Ruchi, to become the man who would surrender to you all over again. A thousand times without hesitation because you've carved a space inside me that is the only home my heart recognizes anymore."

"Give me a chance too, Aryan." She let her hand slide to the back of his neck, fingers curling into the thick, warm skin at his nape, pulling him closer until they were a mere breath apart, the heat of his breath mingling with hers. "Give me that chance you asked me for on our wedding day. You know, the one I heartlessly denied because loving you back the way you do to me is more than just a need now."

His eyes glinted darker with emotions flaring back to life in the most primal manner, as with a swift, fluid motion, he swung her up and had her legs wrapped around his waist along his large, veiny arm that settled just above her hip bone, pulling her flush against him.

Their position allowed the heat of his body to radiate through the thin fabric of their clothes in order to feel up the tension in his muscles-taut, controlled, like a man who had spent too long in a void and now was claiming what had always been his.

Aryan's breath came out in quick bursts that matched the rhythm of her own as he finally uttered. "If I kissed you now, Ruchi-" His voice was a velvety barrage that made her wonder why they ever stayed apart in the first place, "like this-" His breath nearly kissing her with every word, "would you taste bliss when our lips touch, or would you regret it?"

Her ankles instinctively hooked around his waist, hearing him until there was nothing but the delicious friction between them that caused her eyes to flutter shut for a moment as she tried to steady her breathing but turned out to be hard when his touch was like fire, lighting every nerve in her body.

"The only thing I'd regret, Mr. Mallik, is not doing it before, so, please..."

Her nails traced along his sharp jawline with the kindling heat of her fingers, leaving a trail of fire on his skin as the words left her mouth in a barely audible demand.

"Kiss me and show me exactly how much you've waited and... I had not been there."

Her eyes held an innocence in them, yet it was veiled, wrapped in something far deeper-a smoldering desire that flickered in the dark depths of her gaze, daring him to read between the lines as the light of the moon danced in her eyes, casting fleeting shadows across her delicate features, making her seem like something ethereal, untouchable, and yet so entirely real.

"Good call, Mrs. Mallik. Now let me show you how much I've missed you to hell and back, with every inch of my soul." Her lips parted slightly, as if tasting the promise in his words, before he pressed his mouth against hers with a hunger that had been years in the making, a slow burn that spread from his lips to her very dormant core that came alive like the cathartic rush of freedom after years of being confined.

Lots of Love,

ANKITA