CHAPTER THIRTEEN
let it be.
season two, episode eight.

WITH THE APPROVAL OF THE CHIEF, CASSIE TOOK A DAY OFF TO FLY BACK TO NEW YORK FOR HER MOM'S BIRTHDAY. The previous year, she spent the entire day at her grave, along with Derek, Addison, and Mark. Even Derek's mother managed to stop by for a few hours.

They'd laid out some blankets and brought many different types of food, having a picnic in the cemetery while celebrating Bonnie's life. When she was alive, she told Cassie not to cry over her death, but to relish in the memories from when she was alive. Cassie took that to heart, as well as her three best friends. It was one of Cassie's favorite days, filled with love and appreciation.

This year, however, the day felt different; Derek had surgeries he couldn't postpone, Addison and her weren't speaking at the moment, and for some reason, Mark wasn't answering any of her calls.

Still, Cassie sat alone by the grave, eating some strawberries and flipping through an old photo book.

"I hope you saved some for me," a voice said from above her, causing her to choke harshly on the fruit.

"Jesus—" she coughed out, quickly looking behind her, before doing a double take at the person's face.

"While I am often compared to god," the man smirked, "I think Dr. Sloan will do just fine—"

"Mark!" Cassie shouted, clumsily standing up and throwing herself at him, her arms wrapping around his neck. "You're here!"

He grinned over her shoulder, catching her after nearly stumbling to the ground. Glancing at the grave behind her, he whispered, "Of course I'm here."

Pulling away from the hug, Mark was finally able to take a good look at one of his best friends. She looked a lot happier than she did when she lived in New York, he realized, causing his smile to grow.

Breaking the silence, Cassie gestured to the picnic setup. "Care to join?"

"That depends," he shrugged, "Did you bring wine?"

"What do you take me for, a scoundrel?" she scoffed, clearly offended as she reached into her picnic basket. "Of course I brought wine."

Mark shook his head in amusement, making himself comfortable on the blanket beside her.

"So, how are things in Seattle?"

Cassie shrugged nonchalantly. "Busy."

"I mean—"

"Mark, I'm not talking to you about Addie or Derek."

Heaving a sigh, Mark rolled his eyes. "You're difficult." Cassie narrowed her eyes playfully, kicking at him with her foot and causing him to spill a bit of wine on his shirt. "Hey, this is one of my favorites!"

"Watch who you're calling difficult, mister bone dry cappuccino, make it a double shot," she mocked. "You're one of the most high maintenance bitches out there."

"You better watch who you're calling a bitch," he retorted, grinning despite himself. "I could always leave, you know. My condo's only a two hour drive away."

Cassie smiled back, her mood dampening a bit when she was reminded of the reason for his presence. After a beat of silence, she glanced up at sky. "I really do appreciate you coming today, you know."

"I'm more than happy to be here, Cass. Bonnie was a good woman."

"Yeah, she was."

The pair sat quietly for a while, sipping wine from the bottle and sharing snacks between them.

"She would be really proud of you."

Cassie's gaze landed on Mark, who was already looking at her.

"Really? You think so?"

"I know so," Mark nodded surely. "At least, I know I am. You're glowing, Cass. It looks good on you."

Sending him a grateful look, Cassie moved to rest her head on his shoulder, stealing the bottle from his hand and taking a long sip.

"I've really missed you, you know."

"I've missed you even more, angel."

☆

Since all good things come to an end, Cassie was back in Seattle less than a day after her encounter with Mark. It was easy for her to pretend she didn't miss him, but seeing him in person only made her realize how much she actually did.

After grabbing breakfast with George before work, Cassie was in a good mood. Well, she was, until a bird decided to poop directly onto her bagel.

"Ugh, gross," she groaned, tossing it in the nearest trash can. "I payed, like, six bucks for that."

"Ha, that sucks for you," George laughed, waving his bagel in the air teasingly and going to take a bite. Cassie cocked a brow in challenge, hitting it to the ground before it was able to reach his mouth.

"Not so funny now, is it?"

"Crap," he whined, watching the bird devour his ruined breakfast.

She smirked devilishly. "Sucks for you now, too."

"Let's just go," George rolled his eyes.

Just as they turned to walk away, a loud thump was heard from behind them; much to their surprise, a man fell out of the sky and onto the (now dead) bird.

"Huh," Cassie hummed, slightly in shock. "Sucks for him the most."

☆

"Window washer, fell from the fifth floor," Bailey informed George and Cassie as they snapped on their gloves to inspect the patient. "What's your name, sir?"

"Stu."

"Obvious open tib fib fracture, but otherwise he's okay," Cassie noted with surprise in her voice. "Wow, you don't see that every day."

Bailey nodded in agreement. "Tell me about it."

"Equal breath sounds," George added, amazed. "After a five story fall, he's got equal breath sounds! This is unbelievable, do you want to hear?"

Bailey ignored him as Cristina came in. "Some how I believe you. Yang, get in there and palpate his abdomen."

"Does this hurt anywhere?" Cristina asked the patient.

"No."

Cassie raised an eyebrow at him. "Nothing hurts? Nothing at all?" He merely shook his head. "Okay then."

"You fell from the sky. Five stories. And you only injured your leg," George gaped.

"George."

"No, don't George me. A few seconds ago, he would've landed on one of us."

"Okay, rolling on three please," Cristina stepped in. "1, 2, 3."

Lifting Stu onto his side, doctors cringed at the splattered feathers on his back, as well as dried animal blood.

"Nasty," Cassie whispered.

"Are these feathers?"

"My life was saved by that pigeon," George said with wide eyes, turning to grab Cassie's hand in his own. "Our life was saved by that pigeon, Cassandra."

She frowned at him, "Call me Cassandra ever again, and I'll make sure you never have children."

"Noted," he nodded distractedly.

Glancing down at her pager as it beeped, Cassie pat him quickly on the back. "Since you're so grateful, he's all yours, buddy."

☆

Cassie entered the exam room, freezing in the doorframe before fully going inside. Addison stared back at her, next to a woman she recognized from Derek's wedding back in New York. "Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd," she greeted coolly.

Addison sighed, choosing to ignore the pang in her heart at the title. "You remember Sav, don't you?" The blonde, who was only a few years older than Addison, waved hello. "I want an intern on this case."

Cassie waved awkwardly back, glaring at the woman from the corner of her eye. "There's lots of other interns who are available, why don't I page one of them?"

"I already talked to Bailey."

"Funny, because I was just with Bailey, and she didn't mention anything."

"Okay, then I'm going to talk to Bailey," Addison said authoritatively. "You're on the case."

A short staring competition later, Cassie conceded. "Wonderful."

Looking between the two like a tennis match, Sav cleared her throat and gave Addison a look to get on with it. "Should I tell her, or—?"

"Yeah, yeah, go ahead," she nodded uncomfortably.

Sav turned to Cassie, sending her an awkward smile. "Short version, or long version?"

"Uh," she hesitated, "Short, I guess."

"Alright," she began. "I have the breast cancer gene, and I have no intention of getting it."

"So..."

"So, Addie is going to take out my ovaries and my uterus, and when that's done, she's going to find the best person out there to cut off my breasts."

☆

"My mother died of it. My cousin, my aunt, all of them," Sav ranted to her husband, Addison, and Cassie in a conference room. She was having trouble getting Weiss to approve of the surgery; Cassie watched the couple, disapproving of the man's controlling nature.

"But you don't," he disagreed instantly. "You don't have cancer! This is crazy, Sav."

"But I have the gene, Weiss—"

"Which gives her up to an 85% chance of getting cancer—" Cassie cut in monotonously.

"And a 15% chance she won't," Derek interrupted, entering the room and taking a seat next to the husband.

Cassie looked between him and a fuming Addison with a deadpan look. "Well this should be fun."

"I'm not betting my life on 15%!"

"Were you even invited?"

"Weiss asked me to come," Derek answered his wife, ignoring Sav.

The man nodded. "I thought it might help."

"Help what?" Sav scoffed. "I'm sorry Derek, cause I love you and I'm really glad to see you, but until you grow a uterus and watch your mother die from this disease, you don't get a vote."

Cassie froze for a moment, as memories of a sick Bonnie in the hospital for a lumpectomy flashed through her mind. How frail and lifeless she was, how she no longer felt like herself in her final days. How Cassie found out she had the breast cancer gene, and that there was a very likely chance she would get it at some point in her life.

Shaking it off, she turned to fully face the group.

"It's her body, guys. It's her choice."

Addison and Sav gave her a thankful look.

"Did she tell you that they were trying to get pregnant?" Derek ignored her.

"Yes she did."

"Having a hysterectomy is gonna throw a wrench into that."

"Derek! We've been trying for months," Sav said with persistence.

"Why give up now?" Weiss asked angrily.

"Come on. We've talked about this. There are other ways to make a family Weiss. We can adopt, we can do-"

"Savvy."

"No!" she slammed on the table, startling the group. "I'm not talking about this!"

"Let's just take a step back. Take a deep breath, and think about this."

"I've already thought about it. This is going to happen."

☆

While Cassie was in the locker room thinking about Sav, the other interns joined her to help Cristina pick out a dress for her first official date with Burke.

"Uh, they're both really nice," Izzie said as she looked between the two dresses in Cristina's hands.

"I know. I bought them," Cristina deadpanned, "But which one is right?"

Izzie shrugged, "You're gonna look hot in either one."

"Well, clearly."

Cassie looked her person up and down. "C'mon Izzie, we all know Cristina looks hot in anything."

Just as she said that, Meredith came into the room. "Wow you look hot," she praised.

"Yeah, Burke and I are gonna talk about how hot I am over dinner. Ugh, this date is such a mistake."

"But it's easy to get nervous on dates. It's especially hard if you're out of practice, so you just got be mellow—" George started before Cristina interrupted him.

"Yeah, I know how to date, George."

"Yeah, she's not you," Cassie teased, earning herself a high five from Cristina and a glare from George.

"I have a schedule for the mastectomy," Alex boasted, joining the group. "And I get to stay while plastics does a tram flap reconstruction. Cass, you're on the case too, right?"

Cassie shook her head. "I'm not scrubbing in."

"Why aren't you—"

Thankfully for the brunette, Izzie spoke up, stopping him from asking his question. "I couldn't do it."

"Do what? Make yourself all hot and sexy for your boyfriend like Yang?"

"Go wrestle something," Cristina rolled her eyes.

"I couldn't cut off my ovaries and breasts just because I might have cancer," Izzie continued.

"Think of it like a hand. If someone told you you'd die if you didn't chop off your hand, you'd do it."

"Except, when you chop off a hand you don't kill your sex drive, have silicone breasts, get hot flashes and lose your ability to bear children."

Cassie shot a look at the blonde. "I would rather do that, than be dead by the time I'm 40 because of something I could've avoided."

"If it were me, I wouldn't even have the test. I mean what's the point? We're all gonna die anyway right?" Meredith sighed, pointing to her face when she earned odd looks. "It's the Hello Kitty band-aid on my forehead. It's freaking me out."

"I say slice 'em and dice 'em. Whatever. They're body parts," Alex shrugged.

"So you'd cut of your penis?" Cristina asked amused.

"If it kept me from dying. Besides, I've got plenty to spare."

Cassie threw a shoe at him, which he immediately caught and threw back. "Too much information, man."

"You love me."

"If love is a synonym for hate, then sure."

☆

The next day after Sav had her surgery, Derek walked into a supply closet to see Cassie sitting on the floor and staring blankly at the wall in front of her.

"Cassie?"

"Yes?"

"What are you doing?"

She sighed and patted the spot next to her, willing him to sit down, which he did. "I'm just thinking, I guess."

"What are you thinking about?" Based on his behavior the previous day, she hesitated to answer. "Cass, you've been acting off lately. What's going on?"

Cassie finally made eye contact with him.

"My mom died from breast cancer."

"I know."

"After my mom died, I got tested for the gene," she sighed heavily. "And I have it, just like Sav."

She watched the gears turn in his head, as a dark expression took over his features. "Oh."

"Yeah."

"And I've been a total dick about Sav removing her uterus, when—"

"When I might have to do the same thing," she nodded. "I mean, you know the statistics, Der. I'm pretty much guaranteed to get breast or ovarian cancer before I reach 50. It seems far away, but not too long from now, I'm going to have to make a decision."

"The same one Sav made," Derek stated, clearly saddened.

"The same one Sav made," Cassie repeated with a sigh.