CHAPTER SEVEN
who's zoomin' who.
season one, episode nine.

         "HEY THERE, SYPH BOY," CASSIE GREETED GEORGE WITH A TEASING GRIN. After hearing that a nurse named Olivia gave George syphilis, she planned to spend the next year or so never letting him live it down for a second.

Not that STI's are particularly funny, but she had a perfect opportunity to embarrass one of her closest friends. Why wouldn't she take it? Besides, syphillis is entirely curable—she's not a total monster. The rest of them sitting around the lunch table laughed along, too. If she was evil, then Izzie, Alex, and Cristina were as well.

Cassie also figured that not using protection for safe sex with near-strangers was a valid reason to be shamed.

George groaned, glaring at Izzie. "You told her?"

Izzie took a bite of her sandwich, shaking her head in denial. "I didn't. I didn't, I swear."

Cassie shrugged noncommittally.

(In reality, she'd heard it from nurse Tyler, who heard it from the radiologist on the fourth floor, who heard it from nurse Angie, who overheard Olivia herself crying to an X-ray technician named Leon.)

"Syph boy," Alex repeated, leaning back in his chair. "It has a nice ring to it."

"Yeah, kind of like superboy, only diseased," Cassie added with a thumbs up towards George, having far too much fun.

"Izzie didn't have to say a word," Cristina laughed. "Around here, the only thing that spreads faster than disease is gossip." 

"That's not true," George disagreed, and Cassie didn't have the heart to tell him that it was, in fact, very much so true. "Just because Izzie can't keep her mouth shut doesn't mean everyone knows." 

As if the universe was laughing at him, Meredith joined the group, dropped her tray on the table and—

"George, how are you? Sorry about the syphilis."

The look on George's face was enough to send them all into a fit of laughter once more. Cassie almost felt bad. Almost. But as a self-renowned pro at sleeping around, the first thing you do is ask for recent test results, and the second thing you do is find a condom. Everyone had to learn the hard way at some point though, she supposed.

George wasn't as amused. "Everybody in the hospital knows?"

"Knows that you're a player," Alex shrugged, and his feigned indifference was extremely evident to Cassie. "Everybody's got a secret. Be glad yours is out in the open." 

"Oh, yeah, Alex? What's yours?" Cristina asked. 

"Show me yours, and I'll show you mine," he smirked. "I bet you've got some seriously kinky skeletons in your closet." 

Cristina rolled her eyes. "You wish, Evil Spawn—"

Cassie couldn't help but observe how Meredith was notably silent—Izzie too, though her mouth was also stuffed full, which was a valid excuse. As for herself, she began to question if she should work on being more mysterious. She had... no secrets, at least that she was consciously aware of. Unlike Cristina, who had evidently been yelling at Alex while Cassie considered her addiction to oversharing.

"Besides," she continued, "What's in my closet is none of your business."

"Well, I don't have any secrets. My life is boring," Izzie added.  

"We all have secrets," Cassie replied instantly.

Not me, but—

"Everybody's got something to hide," Meredith shook her head, glaring off into the distance.

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"I have a cute butt too, want to see?" Cassie heard Alex's voice from behind an exam curtain. Curious, she pulled it open, to find Alex and Meredith standing behind George as the latter leaned over a table with his naked butt up in the air.

Cassie paused.

"I'm not not into this, but... at work?"

Despite it being an obvious joke—she would never sleep with George, since he's probably on a journey to figuring out he's gay and that's not really her type—the man in question didn't find it very funny.

"Cass! The curtain!" George shouted.

Closing the divider, she walked around the table to stand by Meredith, judging Alex's technique. He didn't sanitize the skin, nor was he wearing gloves, and the cap on the shot wasn't popped off despite seemingly being ready to enter the dermis. Completely amateur.

"You call yourself a doctor giving shots like that?"

"Be my guest," he said, handing the shot of penicillin over to her and leaving the area.

"Alex!" George called out, "Don't leave me with—"

The curtain swung closed. Cassie turned to slip on some surgical gloves, and grabbed a cotton ball to sterilize the area. Just as she turned back around, the curtain was opened again.

Izzie grinned like the Cheshire Cat.

"What are we doing here?"

"Breaking George's spirit," George muttered in embarrassment, his arms flailing outwards to close the curtain again.

"Curing George's syph," Meredith informed her.

Cassie flicked the side of the vial in her hand. "A couple shots in the ass, and he should be good to go."

George shot her a glare. "I don't like needles."

"Good thing you became a doctor, then."

Wasting no time, and in the spirit of being kind to the man who has suffered more embarrassment in one week than Cassie has in her lifetime, she swiftly pulled his pants down further and pierced one side of his rear with the needle. Aside from a yelp of pain, all went smoothly.

From the other side of the curtain, Cristina's voice called out Izzie's name, and George sunk his head into his elbows in defeat.

"Yeah?" Izzie called back, and Cristina quickly pulled the curtains open once again and join them, much to George's dismay and Meredith and Cassie's enjoyment.

"Mr. Franklin's procedure has been scheduled for after lunch—" Cristina cut herself off after she saw George bent over on the bed. "Uh, what are we doing?"

"We're saving George from a future of festering sores and insanity," Meredith said brightly.

"Oh, cute butt," Cristina complimented George as she moved to stand next to Cassie, watching the needle enter the other buttcheek this time.

"Adorable, isn't it?" Cassie agreed.

"Told you," Meredith smirked.

"It is cute. Like a baby's," Izzie nodded.

The moment Cassie was done, George sprung up like he'd been bit, haphazardly pulling up his scrub bottoms. "You know, I have spent hours, days, years, imagining myself half naked in a room with four women. The reality is so much better."

Cassie had a hard time believing that was true, but alright.

"I think he's gonna cry," Cristina laughed.

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CASSIE [ 3:12 PM ]
syphilis outbreak at the hospital...
everything reminds me of you xo

MARK <3 [ 4:52 PM ]
[ Read ]

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Due to the syphillis outbreak throughout the hospital, the interns and nurses were called into a safe sex demonstration in the conference room. Cassie hadn't slept with anyone since she'd gotten tested a few weeks prior, so she decided it was sensible to skip the required meeting.

She decided to take a break and wander the halls, knowing that if any new cases came in then she would be the first one to get them.

"You see that right there?" she heard Derek's voice from an MRI viewing room. Nosy as ever, she looked to see who he was talking to.

"Mhm," the second voice replied.

"It's a tumor, and it's pressing against your optic nerve."

"Cool, who has the tumor?" she asked as she entered the room, making them turn to look at her with surprisingly wide eyes. It was only then that she realized he was talking to the Chief. "Oh, hello."

"Aren't you supposed to be in the meeting?" Webber questioned, staring her down as if she was interrupting something top secret.

"Yeah, uh, that doesn't really apply to me," she said hesitantly. "So... tumor?"

After strange looks exchanged between the two, Webber turned to her and sighed. "It's mine."

Cassie frowned. "Oh, I'm so sorry. Is it operable?"

"Oh, definitely," Derek said, showing her the scans in the light. "Though, like any major surgery, it does have its risks."

"You mean I could lose my sight?" Webber sighed. "Just what I need, a syphilis outbreak and a tumor."

"Well, it's probably unrelated," Derek grinned, making Cassie let out an unattractive snort.

"All right, put a team together. And my people only. I still want this kept under wraps. The vultures will be circling soon enough," the Chief ordered sternly, turning back to Cassie. "And not a word of this to anyone, you hear me, Harper?"

"I promise."

Webber sent them a curt nod and made his way out of the room. Once he was gone, Derek looked at Cassie with a big smile. "So, are you ready for the secret super silent surgery?"

"Obviously," she said enthusiastically. "But you'll have to take me off Burke's service. And we'll definitely need to work on that name, give it a bit more flare."

"Deal," he agreed, high-fiving her and ruffling her hair before the duo got to work.

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Later that day, Derek and Cassie approached Bailey and Meredith in the hall, who were also in on the Chief's surgery. With a shared look between them, they spoke up in unison.

"How goes our special super secret silent sunset surgery?"

"We've been practicing that," Derek said.

"Pretty cool, huh?" Cassie smiled.

"You have too much time on your hands," Bailey shook her head. "Tell the Chief I'll be there. Just let me know when and where. I'm in."

Suddenly, Cassie's phone rang. While the other two didn't even notice, the brunette frowned in suspicion; she didn't know anyone who would call her when they knew she was at work. She excused herself, taking out her cell and checking the caller ID.

[ INCOMING CALL ]

She Who Must Not Be Named

"What the hell," she whispered to herself, going to accept the call, just in case. Right as her finger hovered over the accept button, she was paged 911 to the ER, forcing her to turn her phone off and put all of her focus on the patient.

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The Chief's surgery was successful.

The OR was practically boarded up and on high security, which Cassie honestly didn't understand, as Webber would be recovering out in the open for the next week anyway. But still, she'd gladly take any excuse to make up a fun tongue-twister.

Her shift had come and gone, and soon she was in the locker room with the rest of the interns.

Midway through a conversation with Izzie about the proper recipe for buttercream frosting, and halfway done tying her shoelace, shouts from the other side of the room stole her attention away.

"I just—I want you to understand, when we started dating, I was already kind of seeing someone, and I didn't know how much I'd like you, and when I realized, I broke it off with the other guy—"

"Other guy? Who's the other guy?"

Nosy as ever, Cassie didn't hesitate to round the corner and take a peek at what was going on.

Oh, oh no.

It's not like George was her responsibility, but if he'd hit his breaking point with the teasing, she'd at least help him through it. Since she, well, caused it. Although, if anyone was causing him distress now, it would be Olivia. Her first mistake was bringing up another guy to the most insecure one—said lovingly—that Cassie knows.

In lieu of a response, Olivia looked sheepishly over his shoulder. George turned around to see Alex standing there uncomfortably, and—of course Alex gave George an STI. At this point, why wouldn't that happen?

"Oh shit," Cristina whispered under her breath.

Cassie silently agreed. Shit.

A scream rippled through the lockers.

"You and Alex?!" George pounced at Alex, landing a solid punch right on his eye. "You gave me syphilis?!"

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit—

Cassie pushed the others out of the way, grabbing onto the back of George's hair and pulling hard. A couple years in a self defense class came in handy after all, it seemed. Cassie could fight just as well as she could break one up. She all but yanked him a few feet away until he and Alex were separated entirely.

"Alright, settle down, Rocky."

"I can't—he gave me—she—"

"Hey," she snapped, forcing him to look at her as Meredith helped Alex get up from the floor. "Look at me. Follow my breathing." Reluctantly, he did as told, while the others watched the girl in wonder. Eventually, George was no longer panting, and was only slightly out of breath. "Calm down."

George huffed and puffed, but listened.

Cassie kept a hand on his heaving shoulder to make sure he wouldn't attack Alex again. Not that the guy didn't deserve it, but because she didn't want George to hurt his soft little hands on Alex's ridiculously sharp jaw.

Speaking of Alex, Cassie didn't shy away from turning his direction, her eyes catching a splatter of blood on his lip when she told him—

"I am so glad I never slept with you."

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Cassie passed by Meredith and Derek as she made her way out of the hospital. They were lovesick and starry-eyed to notice her wave, so she rolled her eyes—and, admittedly, allowed herself to be so happy for them that a grin appeared on her face—as she kept walking through the glass doors.

Rummaging around in her purse for her car keys, she failed to watch where she was going and nearly ran into someone walking the opposite way.

"Oh, I'm sorry about that, I—"

Oh.

Oh no.

And also, what the fuck?

"Cassie!" Addison grinned, adjusting her auburn hair behind her ear.

Addison, as in Addison her friend, Addison Derek's ex, Addison the cheater, Addison the woman who by all accounts is supposed to be in New York, not Seattle, Addison who Cassie tries to avoid but sends weekly updates to because she loves her even if she pisses her off, Addison.

"Addison."

Perhaps there was something nasty in Cassie's tone, because the smile on the other woman's face dropped into a flat line.

"You look good," she complimented, as if it would win her any points, "I'm glad I caught you, actually. Maybe you know where I could find my incredibly hard to reach husband?"

Cassie watched as Addison kept moving towards the building, seemingly assuming that Cassie would follow along. And she did, more out of curiosity and a pinch of annoyance than anything else.

"Derek had every right to leave you, Addison. You cheated on him and slept with his best friend. I mean, you—" she paused, finally taking in her words, "—I'm sorry, did you just say husband?"

A record scratched in her brain.

Weird, she thought, that Addison would still call him that after all these months.

Addison nodded, making a face as if Cassie was the one being strange. "Derek is my husband, even if he doesn't want to act like it anymore."

While the older woman continued on into the hallway, Cassie tried and failed to keep her pace. It was like everything in her brain was moving a mile a minute, and she couldn't form any coherent thoughts because another one would take it's place before the previous was finished. Addison is in Seattle. Addison is asking for her husband. Her husband, who's Derek, but Derek is divorced. From Addison. So, not her husband.

"You know, when most people get divorced, they stop referring to their ex as their spouse."

The face Addison makes is very concerning.

She stops walking. "Is that what he told you? That we're divorced?"

Cassie blinks once, twice.

"You're not?"

The eyebrow raise she recieved in return was almost lethal. Addison seemed as if she was going to say something else, before something across the lobby caught her eye—Cassie followed her gaze, once again landing on Meredith and Derek, and oh no. "Speak of the devil..."

This time, Cassie didn't hesitate to stick behind Addison as she strutted over to the happy couple.

Derek, for what it was worth, looked as though he'd seen a ghost. Cassie, in all honesty, wanted to punch him in the face. This little fucking liar bitch ass idiot—

"Addison," Derek's voice broke through Cassie's increasingly violent thoughts. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, you'd know if you'd bothered to return any one of my phone calls," Addison replied, a sickly sweet smile adorning her features. Cassie held her breath when she turned to Meredith, looking her up and down with haste before introducing herself. "Hi. I'm Addison Shepherd."

"Shepherd...?"

Meredith looked to Cassie for an answer.

Rage bubbled up in her gut all at once—for Meredith, for herself, and even a bit for the adulterous woman beside her. Mostly for herself, if she was honest. Derek lied.

"His wife," Cassie deadpanned, searching Derek's eyes for any emotion other than guilt and finding none.

Addison points at Meredith. "And you must be the woman who's been screwing my husband."