Jessa was gabbing in the backseat and playing with her hands while I was driving us towards the mall. I don't know why I bothered buying her toys when she could entertain herself without them. She talked to them and they talked back to her telling her stories and singing songs. Every few seconds, she let out an excited screech. I wish I had half the imagination she had. If I did, I would be living in it right now instead of wallowing in my depressing thoughts.

I pulled up to the mall. I figured it was my best bet at finding something since they had a couple of department stores that had both women's and children's clothing.

We entered the main entrance and veered left to go to the first store. I looked around and decided quickly that I wasn't going to find anything here. Everything they had was upbeat and colorful, not like anything I was looking for. If this was any indicator of my luck, I would have to settle for something hidden in the back of my closet. I had plenty of black in my closet, but nothing seemed good enough for my Dad.

I visited two more stores before finding Jessa a little baby doll dress. It was black with little blue flowers embroidered on the hem. The dress had a blue ribbon that wrapped around the waist. The blue brought her eyes out and she smiled as she spun around in it, saying she was a princess.

I found a matching ribbon for her hair at the cash register before ringing up. She had black tights and black Mary Jane's at home she could wear with it, which were two less things I had to buy today. Since I hadn't been at work in a few days, my cash was starting to dwindle. I knew Ezra would offer to help me if I asked, but I had too much pride to ask him for money. I would figure it out somehow.

At the last department store, I was finally able to find something for myself that would be passable. The black dress had a high neck and was fitted through the torso. It hugged my hips and then draped, hitting me just above the knee. I found a black and silver belt for the waist and a black lace cover to go over my bare shoulders so I wouldn't feel too exposed. I walked by the shoe department on a last-minute impulse and decided to pick up a pair of peep-toe kitten heels to complete the look.

Jessa was squirming in my hand while the cashier took way too long to ring us up. I bent down and bribed her like the perfect mother I was. "Baby, I will stop and get you a cinnamon roll if you settle down."

She smiled and stuck her finger to her mouth like she was thinking it over. "My tummy is very hungry, Momma." She stuck her belly out as far as it could go and lowered her chin to look down at it.

"Stay still for a bit longer, Jess. I will get you your treat."

The cashier was driving me crazy. Scan, pause, scratch head. I almost ripped the clothes out from her damn hand to scan them myself. I didn't have much patience today; I was on edge for tomorrow's service. It felt too fast and too final. Once she finally rang the last item, I didn't even wait for a total before swiping my check card. I didn't care how much it cost. I would worry about it later.

I grabbed the bag quickly and adjusted Jessa's hand in mine. Holding the bags and Jessa turned out to be quite the workout, she wanted to dart off and the bags did not want to stay in my hands. I was grateful when we got to the cinnamon roll place. Jessa went to the display, picked out the biggest cinnamon roll and asked for "some chokit milk". The teenage girl ringing us up laughed at the faces she made when she handed me the box and cup. I would regret sugaring her up later, but right now, I just needed a break.

Jessa shoved her face full of the cinnamon roll while I sat thinking about my Dad. I wondered what he would say to me right now if he were still here. He always seemed to have an answer and I needed him more than ever. He would be able to help me figure out what to do about Ezra, what I should do about my life and the direction it's going. He would help me raise my daughter into a strong woman.

Jessa looked up at me with icing smeared all over her face. "Momma, you cry?" I hadn't even noticed the tears. I seemed to cry all the time anymore. I tried to wipe them away quickly. "Momma, don't be sad. Be happy like this." She pointed to her cheeks with her fingers and pulled her face into a huge grin.

I sniffled and apologized. "I'm sorry sweet pea. I miss your Papa a lot. He was a great Daddy."

"I see, Daddy." She squealed with delight.

"You did see your Daddy. I hope you get to see him again soon."

Jessa jumped out of her chair before I could react and ran out of the store. I turned and bolted after her, hearing her scream, "DADDY! DADDY! DADDY!". She rounded the corner just out of my sight and I screamed after her for her to stop. She was fast; I had to be faster.

"Jessa Davis! You stop right now and come back here." I moved quickly around the corner and saw a couple look over at us. Jessa was barreling as fast as she could towards them. I froze in my tracks.

Ezra bent over and pulled Jessa up in his arms to hug her tightly. She nuzzled herself into him and laid her head on his chest. Standing next to Ezra, I recognized the tall thin dark blonde woman instantly. He was here with Jenna.

Jenna was standing with her arms crossed, frowning. If looks could kill, she would be chopping me up in little tiny pieces to feed to a fish tank full of piranhas. I gathered my composure and walked towards them to go get Jessa back.

"I'm so sorry," I said, walking up to them. "She must have seen you walk by the store. She bolted before I could catch her. She's fast." I said, trying to joke the tension away.

Jenna's angular face narrowed and she was shooting laser beams through me with her eyes. Her fingers tapped on her arms, which were folded tightly across her chest. I looked down and noticed her pretty diamond ring was gone. My heart jumped a little, not sure what that meant. I shouldn't be jumping to conclusions; it could just be a coincidence. They seemed like they were here together. Why would they have come here if they weren't? I had just figured out my answer. Ezra didn't want to be with me.

Jenna was gorgeous and also very different from me. She was tall and thin and all angles compared to my short, soft curves. She was dressed to perfection in skintight leggings and a shirt that showed her perfectly toned midriff. I had sweats on that had holes and stains on them. I had the body of someone who had a baby. I was crazy to think Ezra would pick me over this stunning woman.

"Momma, it's my Daddy." Jessa said, flailing her arms about dramatically while Ezra held onto her.

"I see." I smiled nervously. I didn't know what Ezra had said to Jenna, but she clearly had not changed her opinion of me. She was looking at me like she wanted to kill me.

"Fucking whore." Jenna mumbled under her breath.

"Jenna," Ezra warned. He sent a dark look over to her. She slunk down and crossed her arms across her chest like a scolded child.

"Well, we better go." I said, ready to snatch my daughter out of his arms and run back into the shop. "I don't want to keep you when you have things to do."

Ezra looked at me and raised his eyebrow. I don't know why this was confusing for him. He was the one who decided he wanted to be with Jenna; he was here with her now. At least I wouldn't have to wait any longer for him to let me know his decision now. I looked down away from him. I couldn't handle the rejection I felt.

"Momma, you cry again?" Jessa asked me, enunciating the last word to make it that much worse. I silently wished no one had ever taught Jessa to talk. It was moments like this; I appreciated life before having a child.

"I'm fine, baby. Just thinking about Papa. See all better." I smiled a fake smile back at her.

Jenna rolled her eyes and moved her hands to her hips. I guess we had something in common, after all. She rolled her eyes too when she was annoyed.

"Ezra, time to go. We are going to be late for dinner." She said unapologetically.

"Uh, yeah." He said, still staring at me. I saw Jenna notice how he kept his eyes on me. Her face turned blood red with anger. I wished he would stop looking at me. I guess he felt sorry for not telling me he didn't want to be with me.

"Jess, baby. Let go of your Daddy. He needs to go." I reached out my arms to her.

"No, I stay with my Daddy." She was now arguing with me. Great.

"Jessa, I have to get our stuff from inside the store so we can go home. Come here." I tried to grab her and she clung to Ezra even tighter.

"I can carry her to your car." Ezra suggested. "She may let go once she has a little more time with me." I doubted it, she was her mother's daughter and I could never let go of him either. Even now, when he was standing next to his model fiancé, I still wanted to pull him close to me.

Jenna huffed and pouted. "I'm going to the car, Ezra. If you're not in it in 5 minutes, I'm leaving without you."

"You make a bitch face." Jessa said to her and turned her mouth down in the most hilarious scary face I had ever seen. My mouth dropped open in horror hearing Jessa use that word in public. I had to admit; she wasn't wrong. Ezra busted out in laughter and kissed our little beauty on the head. Jenna turned and stormed off towards the door without saying another word.

"Well, that was interesting." Ezra said, smiling.