dan

The yelling is what Dan hears first.

It's his parents, screaming from outside the weirdly empty room he's trapped inside. Dan looks around, there's no door out - only walls.

The screaming is still going on, the yelling, the fighting is never ending and Dan can't escape it. He sinks to the ground and covers his ears but the yelling won't stop.

'It's your fault!'

'You're always at work!'

Then he hears Phil's voice as well, joining in the chorus.

'drinking.'

'are you tipsy mummy's boy?'

Then Troye's song echoes through the walls.

'sipping life from bottles.'

At this point, Dan is on the floor, rocking back and forth whilst tugging furiously on his locks of hair.

'stop, make it stop, please,' Dan begs in his mind.

But it doesn't.

Dan sits up in bed, sweat hanging in beads on his forehead, making his fringe damp and curly. He can feel the familiar feeling of long dried up tears on his cheeks and his heart is still pounding.

Although the dream has ended, his life still remains a nightmare. There's just no escape from the fighting. Dan sighs deeply, glancing at his phone to check the time. It's 9 a.m. and he has a text from Troye.

Troye: heyo Dan! I'm coming to London for a tour next week, wanna catch up??

Dan smiles, he misses Troye. He quickly types out a reply before he forgets to.

Dan: duh, can't wait to see you!

Dan leaves his phone on his bed, standing up and going for a shower to wash away last night's dream. He pulls on jeans and a t shirt, checks his hair and walks downstairs, finding his house predictably empty. He sighs, deciding to eat breakfast out instead. If his parents insist on working all the time, Dan can at least get some benefits from it.

His family is loaded, so hence, Dan is too. He pockets his wallet and phone, picks up a backpack, throwing his sketchbook, a novel and his laptop. He locks the door behind him and heads down the street, towards the town.

He picks a warm looking cafe and orders breakfast and a coffee, sitting in the corner by the window. Dan sighs deeply, his mind still not entirely recovered from the dream.

Dan opens his sketchbook, flipping through the drawings, usually of nature and animals, but he does have a few people, they just have blurred out faces, as Dan sees them. He flips to his most recent one - a work in progress of Phil.

He's outlined the drawing, he just has to shade it with his pencil. After he eats breakfast, he pays the waiter, thanking her before he takes his things to the park, leaning back against a tree and starting to finish the drawing of Phil. He doesn't know his exact tattoos, so he's just doing shapes. He's managed to capture Phil's signature smirk though, an once he finishes his face, Phil is indeed smirking at him from the paper.

Dan finds it weird how he can see Phil's face in a drawing as well, so he flips to the back and starts drawing another face, but as soon as he starts the second facial feature, it turns to a blur. He frowns, flipping back to Phil, who's smirking at him.

Why is this guy's face visible?!

Dan sighs, shaking his head and looking down. He's so confused right now, and tired, but for once, he's not drunk. He plugs earphones into his phone, placing them in his ears and playing Troye again, seeing as he's coming in a week now.

'only fools fall for you, only fools fall.'

Dan closes his eyes leaning back at just listening to the song, peaceful and relaxed. He feels his whole self relax and his worries disintegrate.

In that moment, none of Dan's troubles exist, it was just him and him alone.

***

Dan arrives home to find Phil Lester lying down on his front yard, staring at the sky.

"Um, what are you doing here?" Dan asks, frowning at Phil, who sits up when he notices Dan, squinting at him from the sudden change of light.

"Oh, Dandelion, I was wondering when you were going to get here," Phil says like it's perfectly normal for him to be lying on Dan's front lawn, "see, I was trying cloud gazing, like you suggested, and my front lawn is spiky and crawling with ants so I thought you wouldn't mind."

"Whatever," Dan says somewhat bitterly, still pissed off at Phil from what he said to Dan while they were walking home, "do whatever you want on my front lawn as long as it's legal."

Dan goes to walk past Phil to his front door, butPhil grabs his ankle, preventing him from walking.

"Wait Dandelion, you can't leave me to stargaze by myself!" Phil protests, begging Dan with his eyes, making him wish that in this moment, Phil's face was blurred so that he couldn't see his pleading eyes.

"Why? Look, all you were was rude to me. If you want to be the heartless tough guy then go ahead, but I'm not going to put up with your bullshit," Dan snaps at him.

"Look Dan, I uh, I'm sorry... For how I've treated you. I don't know how to say it but, it's weird, all I felt was anger towards everything before you came along," Phil admits, "but now I just, I don't know... There's just something about you."

Dan's eyes widen, could this have something to do with Dan being able to see Phil's face? If Phil felt something too, than maybe there is something strangely wonderful between them... Dan decides to refrain from telling Phil about his blurry face for now though.

"It's okay, how about we just start again," Dan suggests, sitting down on the grass beside Phil, "lets cloud gaze."

"Sounds good," Phil says, lying back next to Dan, their eyes on the clouds drifting by in the unusually blue, sunny sky.

"And by the way, don't call me Dandelion," Dan says, looking over at Phil, who's smirking.

"Why not?" Phil asks, "it suits you."

"Okay then Philadelphia," Dan says, "two can play that game."

"Dan Fowell."

"Phil Pester."

"Dan Growell."

"Phil Tester."

"Dan Towell."

"Phil Rester."

"Wow, way too many things rhyme with our last names," Phil says jokingly, smiling lightly at Dan.

"Phil, no offense but why did you decide to be nice to me?" Dan asks curiously.

"I don't know really, I don't want to sound weird but some part of me felt like we had to be friends," Phil says, "I don't know why."

"Oh," is all Dan can say.

"But we can be friends in school, your crowd doesn't mix with my crowd. I have a reputation to maintain, yeah?" Phil says, raising an eyebrow at Dan.

"Yeah, I get it," Dan says, "no friendship in public."

"Thanks, I knew you'd understand," Phil says, lying back down on the grass an staring upwards.

Dan sighs quietly, staring up at the clouds as well. But despite cloud gazing usually calming him down, all it's going is giving him time to think about all he's worried about.

The list including his home which is falling apart, his blurry face, his drinking addiction and the person beside him, who he can't seem to stop thinking about.

After Phil leaves, it's almost dark and Dan waits for his parents to arrive home, his father walking in first at seven p.m. which is early for him.

"Hey son," He says as he spots Dan sitting on the couch, channel surfing on the television, "how was your day?"

"It was alright," Dan replies, staring blankly at the blurred faces on the screen in front of him, "I went to the park."

"Awesome," his father replies in his usual distracted tone, "look Dan, I just have a quick call I have to make so I'll be in my office, nice chatting with you."

He then disappears around the corner and Dan slumps back on the couch with a deep sigh. 'Nice chat,' yeah right, like that counted as a chat.

His mother walks in thirty minutes later, smiling tiredly at Dan.

"Hey sweetie, you'll have to make your own dinner tonight, can you tell your father I'm going straight to bed?" His mother asks, standing in front of him.

Dan wants to ask why she doesn't just tell him herself, but decides against it, just nodding and forcing a smile at her blurred out face.

"Thanks love," she says, leaning forward and kissing him on the forehead, "see you later honey."

Dan nods and watches as she walks up the stairs tiredly. Dan walks over to his father's office, about to open the door when his father walks out.

"Oh dad, uh, mum's gone to bed early so we have to make our own dinner and-" Dan starts but is cut off.

"Oh, Dan sorry I have to pop back out for work, these people are idiots! I'll be back later, get my own dinner out," his father says, giving Dan a quick hug before racing out the door.

Dan rolls his eyes, walking to the cupboard and opening it to find a packet of crisps. That will do anyway, he can't be bothered to make anything.

Dan seems to always he alone, he doesn't know why. His parents have always been out with work and he's never had any close friends nearby. It's always just been him and an alcohol bottle.

But maybe this time it will be different, because now he has friends, and he has whatever he and Phil share. But despite having people to turn to, Dan still feels alone and isolated in the practically empty house.

And once again, he finds himself reaching for an alcohol bottle instead of his friends. Alcohol numbs the pain and eventually makes it worse, but it's the easiest option.

And as the alcohol flows deeply through his bloodstream, Dan briefly wonders if it's even worth it anymore.

***

phil

Phil can hear the yelling coming from Dan's house.

It's six a.m. in the morning, and the constant arguing of Dan's parents is drifting over right into Phil's ears, which is the most annoying thing ever.

He can't hear what they're fighting about - he just hears yelling and frustrated tones of voice. He scowls, standing up and opening his window.

"Would you shut up?!" Phil yells angrily in the direction of Dan's house.

The yelling does stop, and Phil watches as Dan's father walks out, followed by his mother, both dressed in work clothes, as they both get into separate, expensive looking cars and drive away.

God, Phil thinks, are Dan's parents ever home with him?

He sighs, walking over and picking out jeans and a black t shirt to wear to school, going for a quick shower before he pulls them on and clips in his piercings. After a quick bowl of cereal, Phil picks up his bag and swings it onto his back.

"Goodbye mother," Phil says quite bitterly, making his mother flinch slightly from her position behind the kitchen bench.

"Bye Phil, have a good day," She replies, but Phil just grunts unpleasantly in response and walks out, slamming the front door behind him.

He looks over to Dan's house, and five minutes later, Dan stumbles out the door, pale, seemingly hungover and looking awful.

"Phil?" Dan asks almost unbelievably when he walks over to him and grabs his arm.

"Dan, you are not coming to school like that," Phil says, pulling him back inside Dan's house, "you look horrible."

"I feel horrible," Dan admits, sighing, "but I have to go..."

"School is no use to you if you're in this state," Phil says, shoving Dan down onto his expensive looking couch, "you need to stay home and rest."

"But..." Dan starts.

"I'll stay home with you," Phil suggests, "you'll just make yourself worse going to school."

"Fine, I guess..." Dan stumbles, caving in.

"Now lie down and sleep," Phil orders, so Dan kicks off his shoes and lies horizontally on the lounge.

Phil walks over and shuts Dan's front door and by the time he comes back, Dan is fast asleep on the couch. Phil sits on the other couch, picking up the TV remote and switching the TV on, watching various programs while Dan sleeps.

But despite the TV, Phil's eyes keep flickering to Dan. He looks so peaceful there, asleep. He seems less tired, less worn out. He just looks so freaking adorable.

Not that Phil would ever admit that to anyone.

***********

an// two updates in a day! you guys reached the goal so fast, woah!! thanks but I have an exam tomorrow so it probably wasn't the best idea to stay up writing but oh well...

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