[Jeong Byeonghee]

I've greatly disappointed the others, starting from Sara, for not being honest from the beginning. Hiding my career was the safe option, but it turned out to be the wrong choice. As a result, they've learnt the truth in the worst way possible: thanks to Lira.

Of course, at school, everyone is afraid of even approaching me. Someone gossips behind my back. Their whispers are unlistenable noise. I need a way out as soon as possible. What if Taeshin and the other members of X-FILE find out I've come clean about the group?

Before I face my well deserved comeuppance with the company, I must reach out to Sara. I owe her an apology more than anything. If I don't take the right course of action to correct things, our trust will be broken beyond repair.

***

I walk through the school halls with my head down in shame. I haven't had the courage to talk to anyone yet after yesterday's fall out, especially because all they do is point fingers and call me a liar. What if Sara does the same? What if she believes I'm only taking advantage of my fame for ulterior motives?

I guess this is the right time to figure out because she and Saehyeon are at the lockers, leaving their books from the morning classes behind and preparing for the lunch break. I expect them, especially Sara, to frown at me. Instead, she only throws a worried glance at me.

"You can stop hanging your head low, Byeonghee," she tells me. "You must've had your good reasons to hide it. There's no way you'd deliberately keep this information from us unless someone else told you to, right?"

"Exactly. I swear to God I haven't told anyone in person. Lira must've talked to a sasaeng to try and dig some dirt on me," I explain again. Sara's expression is a mixture of horror and indignation. Saehyeon is open mouthed. They both fear I'll end up like Saeyi, if not worse.

I continue. "By the way, I'm here to apologize sincerely to both of you. In particular to you, Sara. I should've told you from the beginning, on my own terms." I bite my lips, realizing I can't retain tears. That's exactly when Saeyi passes by, reaching the rest of us.

In a surprising move, she isn't alone. Kwon Seoyeon has joined her. This comes as a shock because she's a serial gossip and is the kind of person to easily believe rumors, even when not verified. However, this time, it looks like Seoyeon is barely up to date with the drama involving Saeyi, let even me.

"What's going on?" asks indeed Seoyeon as she tries to catch up with the recent events.

Saehyeon fills her in with the news. "Well, it turns out Lira's bullshit wasn't nonsense for once. Byeonghee is an idol. But I don't think his career will last much longer. Knowing Lira, it'll be all around social media. He's toast."

I mutter sarcastically. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Saehyeon. Exactly what I need now."

"You could've put it out differently, Saehyeon," points out Sara. "Aren't you the optimist here?"

He scratches his head in embarrassment. "Touché. By the way, what do you plan to do beside damage control?"

Honestly, I don't have a backup plan. If the company punishes me because I failed to keep my secret, I don't know if I can stay here. I'll have to return home or restart in a new town, away from the spotlight. I don't want Mom or Dad to find out about the bust this plan was.

They've always supported me since I told them about my dream of becoming an idol. They spent a lot of money to ensure I'd be prepared enough for this grueling industry. I can't believe it'll slip out of my fingers because I haven't been careful enough...

"I'll have to keep my head down and focus solely on my studies," I answer, resignation filling my voice. "I'll try and wait to see if the storm dies down. I'll also ask my family for advice."

Seoyeon shakes her head. "What? Are you simply going down without a fight? You and Saeyi deserve better!" she exclaims. As much as I believe she's right, what's the point in acting defiant when I don't even have a proper plan to counter Lira's vicious attacks?

The others, even though they fear her insane witchhunt won't ever stop, share the same point of view as Seoyeon. In particular, Sara recalls. "Do you remember how unapologetic you sounded when you voiced your thoughts on that witch? Don't you want to take her down?"

I answer, "Don't get me wrong. I do. But I must take one step at a time—and I also have to face my company. They didn't expect my idol career to be outed like that."

"That's fair. Don't forget you're not alone, though. You can count on us. Just promise you'll trust us more." After minutes when my eyes have been puffy, I can finally let out the tears that have swollen them. Not tears of despair, but of joy and liberation.

We all gather around for a hug. Yes, all five, including Seoyeon. Even though she isn't part of our friend circle just yet, she's here—this is what matters.

***

When I return to the dorm, I find out I'm on my own. While I'm aware there are no schedules planned today, it's still shocking to me not to find even a single staff member. I have to call Taeshin. I must let her know about my whereabouts, apologize for the mess I caused and make sure I extend it to fans.

I try contacting the manager through KakaoTalk; then, I call her twice. She doesn't answer, much to my confusion. 'What's going on?' This thought comes over my mind and makes me go insane. If I want to explain myself to the rest, they need to be here physically. I can't talk to dead air!

Under the belief that the dorm needs renovation or, worse, that we have to leave it as soon as possible, I start tidying up and packing my bags. It takes me an hour and a half, during which I'm still stressed. 'Where the fuck are the others?'

I try to phone Taeshin again, but to no avail. Her phone must be off. This is not a good sign—she always keeps the ringtone on even in the middle of the night. I sigh three times. I have to figure out a way to contact her or the other members.

To kill time while I'm waiting for the rest, I turn the TV on. I zap through channels until I settle on the news on Playlister, a music themed channel. I don't pay particular attention to gossip and other information; I only do so when X-FILE are mentioned.

Oh, boy. I wish I had left the TV be. It looks like the others are doing a live interview without me. Instead, there's a new guy with them. Of course, Taeshin is with them. What is the company planning to do?

With a devious smirk plastered on that treacherous face of hers, the group's manager introduces the new guy to the audience. "This is Kang Jaehak! He's just joined the group. He'll take Jeong Byeonghee's place. Let's give our Jaehak a warm welcome!"

This means I'm out. No statement. No chance for me to explain myself, apologize or make amends. No way for me to say goodbye. Nothing. I'd like to cry, but don't think I have any tears left in me. Instead, I let out a loud scream. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!" There goes my self restraint, and so does my career.

I grab my bags and leave the dorm slamming violently the door. I don't care if it breaks. They had no hesitation trashing me like a worn out piece of clothing; therefore, I won't have trouble forgetting about this group, their fans and their disloyalty.