"And do you want to know why nobody bothered to get you anything for your damn birthday?" Sadie, my third oldest sister, questions fumingly as the car comes to a halt on the corner of our street. I don't want to hear what she is going to say because there is no doubt in my mind that it is going to cause my heart to clench. 

I shift my head towards the window while my arms press and cross against my chest. Maybe if I stay quiet, she wouldn't bother to slap me with an insult. "It's because you don't deserve shit." She hisses at me before she cuts across the main road, finally giving me the option of no longer having to be in the same vehicle as her.

And there is it, ladies and gentlemen. Did she have to tell me that so bluntly? I didn't have to know the reason why she or my other sisters didn't bother to get me presents because deep down, I already knew I wasn't worth it to them. But hearing her actually saying it to me still stings because I know she really means it.

I don't respond to her snide and snarky remark because it hurts too much. I don't even know how we started talking about my birthday when it had already passed. As soon as the engine is killed off, I open the door and exit. I search for my keys and hear the car door slamming behind me, signifying that my business with her is not yet finished.

God, why can't I just have a peaceful day for once? Can't she just leave me alone? Can't they just all leave me alone? When I find my keys, it is already too late. Sadie is standing behind me but I dare not look back at her. "And make sure you clean the dishes. There's a shitload of them." She orders. At last I manage to unlock the door to the two-story apartment but before I could step in through the threshold, she shoves me aside and enters first.

My backpack, which had been slung over one shoulder and partially opened, slips and hits the ground. Some items spill out and I groan. I couldn't wait for spring season to start because that meant sports and nice weather, things that would surely decrease my level of stress and prolong my hours at school instead of having to come to this hellhole. After I climb up the stairs and kick off my shoes, I open the second door that actually leads me into the living-room.

The television is on, as it usually was, and my dad is seated on the wooden floor, completely absorbed in whatever it is that is being aired. I glance over to what he is watching and discover it to be some sort of boxing match. He doesn't even greet me but it's okay, because I am used to it by now. Lazily, I drop my bag onto the couch and plop down. Luckily for me, Amy, the fourth oldest girl, is out at work while Elise, the second youngest is locked up in her room doing who knows what.

Realizing this moment as probably one of the only serene times I would get, I take out my phone and check my messages. There are three new ones and I am excited to read them because they're usually from my friends. Quickly, I unlock the device but when I see who sent them, I release a disheartening and irritating sigh. I thought the chances of my mood getting even lower were impossible.

"Hey, lazy ass, get off your phone and do the dishes. You're always on it." Elise's voice sneers. She just came out of the room she shared with Sadie (which used to be my old room) and I couldn't help but ask myself why couldn't she have just stayed in there forever? Spoke too soon, I guess. I mean, I just got home; couldn't she cut me some slack? 

Haha of course not, it's me we're talking about here. Like Sadie, Elise thinks I'm undeserving too. So undeserving that I'm not even treated like a sister, let alone as a human with real feelings, by her.

"Hello? Are you deaf?" She asks. No I heard you clearly, but now that I think about it, maybe being deaf wouldn't be so bad. At least then, I wouldn't have to listen to all the malicious and piercing things being constantly vomited on me.

Then my mouth acts faster than my brain does. "Shut up," I answer imprudently. When I realize what I had said, my eyes widen. I peer over to Elise and just as I expected, she is scowling at me.

"What did you say?" She challenges, taking a step towards me. I bite down on my tongue because I know that if I repeat myself, the price I would have to pay won't just be verbal or emotional pain. It would result in a physical one. So like a coward, I turn the other way. "That's what I thought, bitch." Elise snickers before returning to her room. Who gives a shit what you think?

Oh right, I do.

* * *

We stand at the corner of the sidewalk, waiting for the signal, which permits us to cross the bustling road, to alter. We don't want to increase the chances of someone getting mowed down by s speeding car, and a cool breeze sweeps by. For a moment, neither of us speaks a single word but once the signal lights up, she takes initiative. "So... Liam texted me." His name is no longer of significance to me as I carry on sauntering across the street.

Usually, whenever I heard his name (or even thought about him) my heart would go insane. It would pound against my ribcage so hard that it felt like there would be bruises left behind. But now, now that name couldn't even cause my eye to twitch. I could care less about that guy who goes by the name Liam McKinnon.

"He says he misses you a lot," she adds in. I mentally scoff and shake my head in disapproval almost immediately. Why is she telling me all of this? Liam and I are over and to be frank, I'm fine with it. In fact, I couldn't be more joyous about the separation.

"Daniella, why are you talking to him again? I thought we agreed on him being an ass." I question, entering the café located just across from our school. Isn't it quite convenient for us? She follows me in and we occupy a table by the windows.

"He is, Rory, but after your breakup, he just started confiding in me. I couldn't just ignore him and give him the cold shoulder like he was some stranger." She murmurs gently. Why does she have to be so selfless? I hear the trembling in her voice and figure this couldn't have been easy for her to do. So why, why must she force herself to suffer through this sort of crap? She doesn't deserve it.

"You aren't a messenger." I state with condemnation. "If he has something to say, he can tell me himself. It's not right for him to use you."

"He said he couldn't because the last time you guys talked, it didn't end on good terms." She defends, causing me to soften my expression. When I recall the final conversation I shared with Liam, however, my face darkens. Of course it didn't end on good terms. He told me I was scared of being with him and as if that wasn't enough, he rambled on about how I was always trying to play the victim just because I chose to walk away instead of giving him a second chance.

How ridiculous is that? I wasn't scared or trying to reel in pity. I just simply didn't want to be involved with someone who felt so ashamed of being with me. That isn't the main focus for the time being. It's all in the past and if I want to move on with a clean slate, I have to let it go. Right now, I have to think about Daniella and how she must be feeling.

My hands clench into fists as I stare (alright, more like glare) at the neatly arranged sugar packets positioned in the center of the circular table. "I'm sorry," I let out in a mere whisper. I couldn't scrounge together the courage to look at my friend as I resume. "I shouldn't have dated him even if you did give me permission to. But now that I look at it, I'm sort of glad the two of you didn't work out. You're so much better than him and I can guarantee that one day, you'll be able to meet the perfect boy."

It is eerily silent yet again and I wonder if there is an error or miscalculation in my choice of words. Could the way I phrased things be manipulated and contorted, ultimately resulting with an undesirable misunderstanding between the two of us? Definitely, but all I could do now is be patient and wait for her reaction. What if me verbally admitting my mistake in such a manner to Daniella was the wrong thing to do?

The thought of losing someone I had known ever since primary school creeps into my mind and causes me to shiver in slight fear. If I really screwed up a precious friendship over some guy, I am seriously the world's biggest idiot (just like they said I am). I get the urge to beat my skull in with a club, perhaps even the ones decorated with those deadly spikes at the end. 

You know, the only kind you see in those unrealistic and horribly composed cartoon shows which were meant to entertain and amuse children (but to me, in truth, the idea itself is a bit demented. I mean, how is smacking your neighbor's head with that sort of tortuous weapon, like you're playing whack-a-mole, supposed to be funny? It's not).

As I am immersed in the question, my thoughts are subdued and placed to rest the moment I feel warm fingers curling around one of my fists. The action sweeps my worries away as I peer up and discover Daniella smiling luminously at me. "Rory, you act like you committed treason or something," she jokes which is then followed by a couple of chuckles. My rigid and stiff body eases a smidge at her non-threatening comment. Am I that easy to see through and read?

Daniella gives my hand a reassuring and amiable squeeze. "You don't have to feel guilty for anything." She tells me first. "Rory, I allowed you and Liam date because I thought he could bring you happiness. If I was to be truthful with everyone, including myself, I knew we weren't going to last. I knew in his heart, I would always be second best because you, you were first. Even when we were together, all he babbled on about was you. I mean, I'm not blind. You're beautiful, smart and charming. It was a no brainer that he'd fall for you. It's only natural."

Beautiful? Smart? Charming?

I turn and look at my faint reflection in the windowpane besides me. Who is Daniella talking about? Because the girl standing before me is none of those things. "I knew it was only time before you both realized your feelings for each other and so I braced myself for that moment to arrive. That's why I wasn't all that surprised when you came to me and requested my consent. A part of me wanted to scream at you; tell you how selfish you were being but I couldn't. Because just like me, you deserve a good—no great—guy. I guess Liam wasn't the one for either of us though, and you know what? It's his loss."

Her touching words warm and melt my heart. Without noticing, the corner of my lips surge upwards into a small smile as I shift my eyes back to her. No matter how many times they tell me I am worthless. No matter how many times they try to tear off my wings to keep me from flying, I can rest assured that something like that will never happen.

Although the people who are supposed to be my foundation (the rock I need to stand when I am too weak to support myself) keeps degrading me, I realize there will always be others who believe in me just like Daniella Rivera does. I might see myself as a greedy bitch (along with a few other people who wouldn't hesitate to agree) for wanting a chance at felicity and exaltation, but she doesn't picture me that way.

Instead of an atrocious, back-stabbing tramp, Daniella recognizes a lonely girl who just wants to taste how sweet true love is. It is because of people like her that I am able to plaster on a smile and force myself to keep going on with this wretched and dreadful life of mine. Because like Winston Churchill once said: "If you're going through hell, keep going." And that's what I'm planning to do.

I don't want to think about the obstacles I'll have to deal with because I'm sure there will be plenty. Nor do I want to listen to all the hurtful things that will be spat on me as soon as I walk through that door but at the end of it all, I'll get by because I'm not alone. Just like I've been doing for the last five years of my life (if not longer), I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning with a bright smile on my face, and pretend like everything's okay and even if it's not, I have people who will tell me it will be.