CW: Friendships issues/neglect

Kelin was a very shy child, but also a teacher's pet at the same time. In his first year of school, he helped teachers with small things, cleaning up after other students, and helping get parts of the class ready for new students as well. As he got older he made sure to always behave in class and do whatever it took to help others, he always felt useful when he helped others. Yet because he was a quiet and shy person he ran into quite a few problems with friends. His closest friend in elementary school was a boy named Flynn, and they played all sorts of games together, at least until Jackson, one of Flynn's friends who left the school for a year, came back. Flynn then started spending time with Jackson so Kelin ended up spending time with Issac, another young boy who also seemed to be left out.

- - - - - -

With Issac though Kelin always felt like he was the backup option, as Issac was always close friends with Flynn as well but also got left out when Jackson came. Kelin found those first few years lonely, but then out of nowhere he became best friends with Jackson, and Kelin really liked his company. Jackson was into all the same things he was and helped him find other things he was interested in as well. Samuel, a boy who joined in the same year Jackson and Kelin became close, became friends with them as well and Issac joined their little group as well. It was around this time that Kelin started gaining confidence in himself.

- - - - - -

In middle school, they remained friends but had added others to their number as the class size had pretty much doubled. Kelin also saw less of Flynn as well as they were no longer in the same classes, but they still remained friends. His best friend was always Jackson throughout this, their own little duo. It was in the latter half of that first middle school year when their duo became a trio when Kelin dragged another boy, Avirce, into their group.

- - - - - -

In the second year of middle school Jackson ended up dating another boy in their class, Travis. Around that time Kelin ended up being left out by him, it did make him glad he had Avirce to be friends with. Kelin also had this feeling of wanting to be loved as well so he tried asking his new larger friends if they had a crush on someone, wanting someone to love him, and did end up pushing people into relationships just to stop him asking. It was something he didn't realise until later and apologised greatly for.

- - - - - -

The next year of middle school the year's size doubled again, and Kelin ended up drawing someone else to join their group, a taller boy called Spencer. It didn't end up that well for Kelin though, Jackson had started hanging out with others and Avirce had been hanging out with Flynn, who was now in their class, and Spencer, leaving Kelin alone a lot. In the second half of the year, after Xavier and Edmund, two other boys in the year, joined Avirce's new group Kelin joined as well. He did struggle with feeling included though, he always felt like he was on the outside looking in.

- - - - - -

The next year Edmund left the group to join with others, and again Kelin had the same issues of being excluded by people he called his friends. At moments he felt included, it was why he stayed, but at times he felt alone. In the final term of the year, they learnt that Xavier and Flynn were leaving the school, and Xavier didn't want anyone else to know but it still got out, and Xavier blamed Flynn, Avirce and Spencer for it. They also gained two other friends during this time, Locky and Everett, people whom Kelin reached out to, so they wouldn't be alone. Everett ended up siding with Xavier and they grew apart in a long texting chain messages were exchanged as they grew apart.

- - - - - -

High school had those issues in the past, their group was now Spencer, Avirce, Locky, Samuel (who joined the group after leaving another) and Kelin. Jackson ended up hanging out with them more as well, but Spencer, Avirce and Locky started ignoring Jackson after a while, having issues but not communicating with them. Kelin and Samuel, while remaining in a group with the other three, still wanted to be friends with Jackson, so they were. Then slowly over time the two of them started to be left out as well, and it was hard for Kelin. He had always tried to be friends with them, made sure that if one of them was walking alone he would join them so they were walking alone but during a club where Samuel and Jackson didn't go to, where they once sat together, they now sat alone. They didn't even ask to join him. They started becoming friends with others in the year below and it was during a walk to class when Avirce chose to end the conversation Kelin was having with him to talk to one of the people in the year below.

- - - - - -

Tired of being neglected he finally decided to leave the group and hang out full-time with Jackson, Samuel and Ryorn, one of Samuel's friends from their old friend group. Kelin felt awkward throughout the whole ordeal, he had friendship issues in the past but none of them had quite as much as this did. A part of him didn't want to let them go, wanted to keep being their friend, but at the same time, he knew it wasn't healthy for him. He couldn't completely get over it, he could see them without feeling a pain in his chest, one that was calling out for all those good times buried in the exclusion. Still, he sat with Avirce during some classes, because a part of him just couldn't let go of those friendships that had lasted so long.

- - - - - -

Going to his watcher academy was a breath of fresh air, as much as he loved his new friends he still felt on the outside when with them, he always felt different from everyone, so he struggled to become close with anyone. He was friends with everyone, but none of them were best friends. He could talk to them and have meaningful enough conversations, but none of them were people whom he thought he could rely on if something ever happened. He knew he also had himself to blame, he had put walls up after everything that had happened at the beginning of high school, and he didn't know how to tear them down.

- - - - - -

He started work at ᓵ||∷╎ℸ ̣ ⍑⚍∷╎ᓭ as soon as he graduated, but he found the job dull. He had gone to a watcher academy but had still chosen to do a commerce-focused degree, so he was one of the many people in charge of looking after the economy for the Main World and the surrounding servers as well. He found it interesting at times, but he wanted more, he felt like he could be doing more, something to make things better for everyone. He wanted some sort of change, but he wasn't expecting it to come so soon into his new position. He was being called to the council room, he had never been there before but as he walked in he found it was a mix of powerful but also there was a certain comfort that came when he entered the room. In front of him, after his eyes had finished doing a loop of the room, he saw the High Leader.

He quickly fell into a bow, hoping that his gazing didn't seem disrespectful, though he was a watcher so he hoped it was somewhat expected. "High Leader," Kelin said, "May I ask why you have requested my presence here?"

"I have asked you here today to make you an offer," the High Leader said.

Kelin didn't know what to think yet, at least it didn't sound as though he was getting fired, but he wasn't sure what to think. A part of him hoped that she was going to offer him that something, that he thought he knew he was missing. "Kelin Paxious, I would like to offer you a seat on the council," she said.

Kelin was surprised, he hoped for something, but he wasn't expecting this. He couldn't help but think this was what he needed, it was something more after all, so he said, "I would like to be a part of the council,".

- - - - - -

He had finally let people into his heart after the council, he had connected with them. An admin, Erin, joined around the same time as he did and they were friendly towards him. He could tell they had a similar problem of letting people in like he did, he was just glad when they came out to him so he could start using the correct pronouns for them. Tory and Hayden had joined the council too long afterwards, he could tell they each had their own issues as well. He could tell Tory was scared of him, but not actually him it seemed, but the four of them had grown closer after a while and they all became comfortable with each other. The last person to join the council was Neferus, she did tend to spend a lot of her time in the medical wing, but when she wasn't there, she was spending her time with them. Kelin had thought that all of this helped him get over what had happened at the beginning of high school.

Yet he was in town, by himself as he liked just going in to relax on his own for a while, and he saw them. Spencer, Avirce, Locky and Flynn were all there, together. He wasn't expecting to feel like a darkness had engulfed his heart, that it would hurt so much to see the people who neglected him when he just wanted to be their friend. It hurt, seeing them together, knowing that they were able to be happy together, that even though he knew each of them before any of the others did he was the one who was neglected, the one who didn't fit in, the one who was alone for so long because of how he felt after them yet they had lasted. He flew away, he needed some space to let his head think, to try and stop the pain that he was feeling on the inside.

That's how he ended up sitting on the roof of ᓵ||∷╎ℸ ̣ ⍑⚍∷╎ᓭ, silently crying as he couldn't hold back the tears. As they fell he felt a hand on his shoulder, he turned around to see the High Leader there. Normally he would have tried to act like he was okay if he was feeling sad, but today he just couldn't. "What's wrong?" the High Leader asked.

"I saw some... ex-friends from my high school days together. They weren't the best of friends to me, even when I truly thought we were best friends. Seeing all four of them happy and together after what they did to me... I guess I'm sad that they are all friends when it felt as though they barely tried to be friends with me," Kelin said, "I guess I'm just a selfish person wishing that they had broken apart without me. The worst part is I thought I had gotten past it,"
"It's natural what you are feeling. You were hurt by them, that doesn't just go away. There were many people in my past that have affected me, and not in a good way, and it has been a... long time since I've seen them," the High Leader said, "Your friends you have now, the council members, are here for you. Talking about those past friendships with others might help relieve the burden, but it isn't always for everyone. Part of you may always hurt when you see them, but you need to choose if you will let it hold you back or if you will use it to make yourself, and the people around you, better,"

- - - - - -

The High Leader had left shortly after their chat, and it was a while longer until Kelin felt up heading back inside ᓵ||∷╎ℸ ̣ ⍑⚍∷╎ᓭ. He guessed that his eyes were still red, and it felt like some of his tears had dried on his face. He had just started walking when he opened the door to the council room, where he was surprised to see that the rest of the council was inside. It was then when he checked his communicator, which he had turned notifications off on like all times, that he just needed a break from people. There was a message on the group chat about having a meeting, just a causal one which is why it wasn't spammed several times over when Kelin didn't show up, but he had received DMs from all the council members, except the High Leader, asking if he was okay and where he was.

"Hey Kelin, you okay?" Erin asked.
"Yeah, I was just getting some air," Kelin said, a smile growing as they looked around the room.

"Did you have a 'Rooftop Moment™'?" Blaze asked Kelin.

"What?" Gryff asked.

The rest of the council, except for Via who seemed to have heard these words from her twin before, also looked confused. "Where we go crying to the rooftop and the High Leader makes us feel better about our tragic backstories and whatever," Blaze said, "Via and I had one, the same day as well, it was certainly an interesting birthday. I also have been looking around before and saw a couple of you having similar moments, and don't worry I did stay watching,"

Xelqua still looked confused but it seemed the rest of the council seemed to understand, "Yeah, I had a 'Rooftop Moment™'," Kelin said, the smile on his face growing larger.

"Am I the only one who hasn't had a 'Rooftop Moment™'?" Xelqua asked, having looked around and realised that nobody else seemed surprised.
The council members all stayed silent to see if anyone else was going to say they hadn't had one, "I guess so," Hayden said, "You'll have a moment one day,"

"I certainly have enough trauma for it," Xelqua said.

"Watcher Academy was certainly something wasn't it," Zyrex said, swinging his arm over Xelqua's shoulder.

"I was more thinking about high school and my old server, but Watcher Academy works as well," Xelqua said, smirking.
"Well there is one other person I don't think has had a 'Rooftop Moment™'," Erin said, "The High Leader hasn't had one,"

"Maybe you'll share one," Cirrus joked.
"Yeah right, can you see me comforting the High Leader," Xelqua said.

"I wouldn't count you out yet Xelqua," Lysabel said.

"||𝙹⚍ ᔑ∷ᒷ ᔑ ꖌ╎リ↸ ∴ᔑℸ ̣ ᓵ⍑ᒷ∷," Tory added.
"Thanks," Xelqua said, smiling, "But let's go watch a movie like this meeting was originally supposed to be meeting for. Zyrex and Blaze you better not steal my popcorn..."

The story truly begins in 'Xelqua'...

WC~ 2594

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this! It took a while to write and it's my second longest book in the series with around 24k-ish words in total. Again happy two-years, when I first starting writing this I didn't think I would get this far. 

Also this was written after the final book so there may or may not be things in this that may come back in the final book 'Grian'.