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Last night, before harry drove to the city, he stopped by my apartment and insisted on spending a few hours with me. The clock in the kitchen neared midnight when he mentioned having to go. We stood in the doorway for a while, his hands on my face while he stared down at me, assuring me that it wasn't going to be forever. I laughed, but I think we both knew how skeptical I was at that very moment. So when he finally left and the door closed between us, I had to pry myself from where I stood to finally go to bed.

It was nice to have some time with him, and for the first time in weeks Eliana had been moody all day. Nothing I did made her smile, so being able to relax in someone's arm made me glad that at that very moment I wasn't lonely.

The screeching of my phone alarm wakes me up mercilessly from a deep slumber. Groaning, I roll over and blindly grab the device from the nightstand before fumbling around to turn it off. For a few moments I let myself rest, taking a moment before the storm—a rush of work, taking care of Eliana and then repeat. It may not seem like much, but I feel it in my gut that today is going to be one of those days.

Like clockwork, Eliana begins to cry from her bedroom down the hall. Having not showered before I went to bed, last night lingers on my skin. It's almost like I can feel his hands in my hair, his lips against my temple as he whispers loving compliments. Right now it feels like a daydream.

In just a t-shirt and my hair pulled up into a messy ponytail, I get Eliana ready for daycare. Naturally, she didn't want me to brush her hair, but I managed to get it into little pigtails at the top of her head. Some curls frame her face, but I didn't want to struggle anymore than either of us wanted.

After breakfast, I kiss her forehead, surprised that she's warmer than she was a few minutes ago. Her brows are pulled together and she looks miserable, and it only adds to my stress. When I stop in my tracks to feel her forehead with the back of my hand, she whimpers and nestles her head into the crook of my neck. For a while I rub her back and sway her around the kitchen until she's about to fall asleep.

With a storm brewing in the atmosphere, the wind blows my hair around wildly while I walk Eliana to daycare. I almost turn around when I see her burst into tears, reaching her hand out for me. Sally, one of the daycare aids, tells me to have a good day, but all I want to do is smack that smirk off her face. It's never easy for me to leave Eliana with someone else. It makes me feel like I'm not capable of taking care of her myself.

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Mrs. Winters came to get her order of flowers today, asking me briefly about my so-called love affair with the man from the city. Not only did she remind me that Harry wasn't here, but she wouldn't stop going on about the great job offer he told her about the last time he saw her.

As the shop dies down of customers, I contemplate texting him, but there's an annoying little voice in the back of my head telling me not to. You don't need him, the voice tells me over and over again. And I only listen because I know that I definitely don't deserve him. When he's not being a spoiled brat he's kind and sweet, patient and loving.

At two thirty in the afternoon, my phone rings from the counter at the front of the store. I drop the hose and excitedly walk towards the desk, anticipating a call from Harry. To my surprise, it's not him. It's Eliana's daycare.

I quickly answer, hearing Sally's voice on the other line. Her words make me sick to my stomach, a panic I don't think I've ever felt until this day. Eliana's in the hospital, she told me as calmly as she could, she has a very high fever when you brought her in and it wasn't going down. Before she could say anything else, I told her I was on my way, then hung up.

In the backroom, wearing dark jeans and a stripped blouse, my mom is counting through all the order slips from last month to make sure we log them all into the book. "Hey, I need to go," I say with little care of interrupting her. "Eliana's in the hospital."

She quickly turns me to, rising from her desk and showing concern. "Why?" Mom looks a little stunned right now, as if she doesn't know what to do. "I thought she was at daycare—"

"She was but she had a fever this morning and I took her anyway—"

"You're not supposed to take her when she's sick," she lectures me a little too loudly. "How many times have I told you that? If she were to get any other kids sick she'd be kicked out."

"Because anyone else in my position would have instantly thought that," I shout back at her, my cheeks hot and my stomach turning for the worst. "I had to come to work because if you forgot I'm a single mom who can barely pay any bills. I can barely pay for that daycare."

"And that's my fault?" she bites back. "Jesus, Diana. You have had years to figure this out. We told you how stressful this would be. And now you want to leave in the middle of your shift? If you worked anywhere else they would fire you—"

"Why are you lecturing me?" My voice is so loud but I don't care. She folds her arms over her chest and scoffs, pushing up the glasses perched on her nose before shaking her head. Tears flood my eyes; her disappointment is as clear as day. And it breaks my heart.

"You have more important things to do than run around with some man. You have a sick daughter to take care of," she finally says, her tone clipped and cruel. I swallow hard, watching her throw down the receipts, careless as to what progress she made. Mom walks past me without another word as her words crush me from the outside in.

At the hospital, I run into the emergency room, noticing Sally standing at the main desk, talking to a nurse. I rush towards her, tears streaking my cheeks and my hair still a freaking mess from the wind. She turns to me, almost looking surprised that I showed up.

"She's doing okay," she tells me. "The doctor said they're giving her some medicine and she's sleeping. . . She's okay, Diana." My knees feel weak, my hands numb. Sally sits me down on an empty chair in the waiting room, bringing me some coffee before mentioning that she has to go back to the daycare to ensure every is getting picked up.

The scorching hot coffee she gives me is tasteless as it burns my tongue. I continue to drink it though, mindlessly staring off into the TV playing a local news station. The weather comes on, but I'm tuning the weatherman's voice out as I look around the room. There are plenty of empty seats, but the ones that are filled are filled in twos. Everyone always seems to have someone but me.

I rest back, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath to settle the horror that is my mind right now. After digging my phone out of my bag, I scroll through my contacts and find his. Tears blur my vision as my finger hovers over the number I'm not entirely sure is still in service. Knowing him he probably changed it the moment he got to the city. It's what he would do. It's exactly who he is, and he made it clear to me the day I told him I was pregnant.

Not giving in, I shove my phone back into my bag. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. An hour later a doctor comes back to tell me that Eliana is finally reacting to the medication. Her fever is going down, but they're not letting anyone go back there.

"We're going to keep her over night," she tells me. "We'll make sure her fever doesn't spike again. If there are any more updates, I'll come back."

Maybe I can't do this? By midnight the emergency room is practically empty. I've managed to drape my jacket over my chest as the temperature seemed to drastically drop. Hospitals are always too cold. Despite how exhausted I am, I won't sleep. I can't sleep knowing that Eliana is sick and without me. Does she notice? Does she care?

A nudge on my arm breaks my trance on the TV. I look over, noticing Peter. He's wearing jeans and an old band t-shirt that looks like it's been washed a few too many times. "Hey," he crouches down in front of me, reaching up and grabbing my hand. "Diana—"

"I don't—I don't want to talk," my voice shakes.

Peter sighs, squeezing my hand gently. "Okay, we don't have to talk." He sits down on the seat beside me and finally I have someone. I rest my head on his shoulder and wrap my arm around his. For hours, my sobs fill the quiet waiting room.

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Hello lovelies!! I'm sorry it's been forever since I updated. I've been really busy and unable to write. I'm going to start writing the next chapter now, but I'm not sure when it'll be up, so bare with me!
See you soon for more xx
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