I sighed.

The frustration of being without a mate at age eighteen was huge, and the pressure to find one was even bigger.

How I wish I could just find my mate already.

"Please find me." I whispered in the wind as I sat with Liam at the edge of the cliff, watching the sunset.

It was our thing; we always watched the sunset and sunrise together.

Kate understood Liam and my relationship, and she gave us our space together. Since she was at school most of the day and I was at training with Liam and my dad since I was my dad's third in command; Liam and I spent a lot of time together. He was like my big brother - who I sometimes wanted to strangle for pulling pranks on me - but we loved each other a lot.

I loved being surrounded by nature, it always makes me feel more alive.
Like the the smells of the forest, the dampness of the soil under my feet/paws, the taste of morning dew held by large leaves.

The streams of water rushing down, would wash away the negativity of never finding my mate and also make me feel like I'm able to breathe within them.

My senses loved every inch of this place, especially the wolf within me... The sand between my toes and under my paws, the bushes brushing my fur with distinct aroma's; it was so amazing.

"If you think too hard about it, you're going to chase him away." Liam chuckled.

"Who?"

"Your mate."

"How did yo-" my question stopped in its tracks as Liam cut it short.

"How did I know?" he rose an eyebrow.

"Yes."

"Because not so long ago, it was me who sat here thinking too hard and you telling me I'd chase my mate away if I thought about it too hard." he grinned.

"How do I not remember this?" I questioned in confusion.

"Because you have the memory span of a goldfish." He chuckled, my only reply being a punch to his shoulder as I stood up to start my way back home as darkness fell.

Liam stood silently, following behind me as I tried not to overthink about my mate.

Soon we were at the fork in the road where the path to Liam's house strayed from mine and I gave him a simple "Goodnight." before wandering down the path alone and the lights of my home started glowing brighter.

Dinner was silent. My mother's great cooking doing its job to make our stomach's full and keep our mouth's busy.

After dinner and washing the dishes, I wished my parents a good night's rest and went upstairs to my bedroom where I took a long shower, changed and went straight to bed; the days' training completely taking its toll as I faded into nirvana.

_____________________

*DREAMING*

"Lexi, get away from him, he's a rogue ... We need to kill him, now!"

"I know that, Eric, but I can't do it. He used to be the one I was in love with once, you know. Feelings don't just fade! I'll always love you, Marcus, but you have to leave..."

"I won't leave you! If I go, I'm taking you with me, princess! I love you Lexi, please... Run away with me? Leave this place and we'll be happy together somewhere else, I promise. You're my forever. I promised you I would take you away from here!"

"No, Marcus, I can't... My place is here with my Alpha and Luna... I'm their daughter, I have to stay! I'm sorry."

"No Lexi, please!"

"Goodbye Marcus, you'll find your mate... It's not m-"

"Grab him!"

"But you are my mate, Lexi. Every bone in my body, every atom of my existence says that it's you"

"Please don't kill him, Eric! I love him!"

"Goodbye princess, I love you... Forev-"

The crack of his neck sent shivers down my spine.

"NO!"

"It is over..."

Then realisation struck me like a crash of thunder sent by Zeus to torture me.
"No! Marcus! Marcus, wake up! Please wake up..." I turned towards Eric, my blood boiling as I inched closer to him "You! You killed him! He was going to leave and you, you killed him, Eric, how could you!"

"He was a Rogue, Lexi... I'm sorry, but I had to."

"I hate you! Go away!"

"But Lexi, I-"

"I said go away!"

*END OF DREAM*

I shot up in bed; sweat drenching my tank top as it stuck to my body.

That was the third time in the past week that I had dreamt of Marcus...

Oh, how I missed him.

We used to go together like salt and pepper, and now... He's gone.

The dreams were the only things keeping him alive, and for a moment I could still feel him.

I used to the love the way he'd touch me like his sense of feeling only came alive for the first time every time he was with me and how we would spend hours together not saying a single word and just look at each other like a baby seeing for the first time.

His blue eyes would melt me away and drown my soul in their deep, captivating oceans.

But that is over now. He is dead and what we had is history...

It has been three years now, and the dreams about that night in the forest still haunts me.

As I thought about him again and the way he used to look at me and treat me, tears started to flow down my cheeks, but I quickly wiped them away with the back of my hand.

Laying back down I allowed myself to play happy memories of myself and Marcus messing around and laughing, until I fell back into slumber.

_______________________

I woke up to the sunlight creeping in through the window, and a pile of formal clothes already set aside for me. I hated to dress up and entertain people but as the next Alpha in line it was something I had to do. I wasn't going to be alone, my dad and Liam were going to be with me so that helped me with the effort to get dressed up.

I had to remind myself to thank my mum for the choice of clothing, as she knew what was formal enough but not too much, that it made me feel awkward.

Meeting new packs were always interesting as they had different accents and cultures to embrace and that is what I look forward to during these events.

Downstairs in the living room sat my mother and father, laughing at one another and Liam and Kate, staring lovingly into each others eyes. I know I shouldn't be jealous of the four closest people in my life but I couldn't help it, I was the only person in the room without a mate.

I suddenly felt thirsty and made my way to the kitchen sink where I almost drowned myself as I drank from the faucet, trying to wash away the lump that had formed in my throat.

"I just wish I could just find him already!" I whisper to myself in frustration before stomping over to the foyer.

"You look gorgeous, my pumpkin' patch." My dad said as my mum came up to me, almost destroying my make-up with all her kisses.

"This is so embarrassing." I mind-link to Liam and Kate, only to see them chuckle lightly; Liam taking out his phone to take a picture, only to stuff it back in his pocket when I motioned I would slit his throat.

Soon my dad, Liam, and I said our goodbyes to my mother and Kate before we made our way to my father's car.

Now I know you're wondering why the hell we are driving in the middle of a forest.

We are most definitely not. That would just be plain absurd.

We lived in small towns near all the dense trees; in pack houses, but my parents and I lived in our own house and Kate and Liam in their own place, since we were "more important" according to the pack, of course.

We were in a comfortable pack. Like one insanely big happy family, but we respected each other's authority as our inner wolves felt it best. We never disrespected one another, and each of us knew our place.

The guards would patrol the borders and would hunt Rogues whenever they would cross, never letting our guard down despite our might. It was our duty to protect the Alpha and our Luna by any means possible.

Though it was easy to find whoever would trespass as the Alpha and Beta would immediately smell their scent, letting the guards know that those who entered are unknown to the pack.

Then of course whoever it was, would either get killed, held captive or let go of, on the condition that they do not return unless they have prior permission from our Alpha himself.

Those were rules every pack abided by and is common knowledge among all shifters, even Rogues.

While driving to the place where we would usually meet with other pack leaders around the northern side of our borders, my thoughts trailed off...

Liam sat in the backseat, letting me sit with my dad, he always had good manners.

My mind wandered off and soon I wondered if my mate would have good manners. If he would be kind. If he would be a hopeless romantic like me. What his hobbies were, his likes and dislikes. The colour of his eyes and what his wolf would look like. Where I would meet him and how.

All the thinking suddenly had me thirsty again, nervous and gasping.

I looked out the window, expecting to see trees flitting by...

But I only saw Liam standing outside, swinging his arms around and sending me finger signs just for me to click open the lock on my door and almost hit him with hit.

He can be glad we're in a neutral place or I'd stick that middle finger up his ain't-no-sunshine.