Birthday

Saina's

"SO, he kissed you."

Avery is so cheeky that Sunday morning at church. I was a bit surprised when she sat beside me. Hindi ko alam na magsisimba rin sila sa oras na ito. We all go to the same church but sometimes I don't see them, ang alam ko kasi hapon sila nagsisimbang pamilya. I saw Uriel carrying Elle in his arms, kasabay niyang pumasok ang Mama niya – si Auntie Mara and Adriel whom Auntie Mara was clinging to. Bigla akong napalunok. Hindi ko pa kayang kaharapin si Adriel. Wala akong ideya kung alam niya na ba na tatay ko ang may kinalaman kung bakit siya napalayo sa pamilya niya. I don't know if they told him already or if they have any plans of tellinf him, basta hindi ako palagay.

"Where's Ernie?" I asked Avery instead of giving a comment on what she had just said. Kung ako nga hindi ko iniisip ang pangyayaring iyon, kinalimutan ko na nga ang bagay na iyon, tapos si Avery, ilalapag bigla, kung minsan iniisip ko kung paano ba kami naging maging magkaibigan. I should've stayed piss at her, siguro kung hanggang ngayon, inis ako sa kanya, hindi niya ako ganito pakikitunguhan.

"Kasama ni Papa Gab. Hoy, ano so after he kissed you, nag-date na kayo? Coffee date, ganoon?"

"Avery..." I turned to her calmly. "I think that it was just a spur of the moment kiss. He didn't mean it, that means that it doesn't mean anything, and we shouldn't be making a big deal out of it."

"Hmp, ganoon ba iyon? Pero natulala kayo sa isa't isa."

"Maybe because we were both startled." I concluded. Sira ulo rin kasi itong si Birada, pinag-isip ako nang isang buong gabi. Kinaisip – isip ko kung bakit niya ako hinalikan, it wasn't even a passionate kiss and yet he managed to give me a fucking sleepless night. Iyong kiss niya, parang kiss ni Haniel sa lips ko kapag naglalambing ako sa anak ko, nilapat lang iyong labi tapos tapos na, but still! Naisip ko nga kung ganoon na baa ko ka-horny. Yes, it's been a really long time for me. The last was the one night stand I had in Madrid with an AFAM – kung tawagin ni Avery. Ni hindi ko na nga matandaan iyong AFAM na iyon, basta alam ko lang malaki ang titi niya and that I had a good time, such a good time that I had a hard time walking the next day – that was almost ten months ago.

My god. Nasa simbahan nga pala ako, kung ano – anong iniisip ko.

"She shouldn't be here." Naistorbo ang pag-uusap namin ni Avery nang biglang magsalita si Uriel. He sat beside his wife, napapagitnaan namin ngayon ito. He was still holding Elle, Haniel and Ernie were sitting beside each other, my son was playing with his brother's hand. They were giggling too. Hindi pa naman nagsisimula ang mass kaya hinayaan ko muna si Haniel, isa pa, hindi naman sila nakakaabala sa iba. I smiled upon seeing Haniel kiss Ernie's hand.

"They're so cute." I mumbled.

"Who?" Avery looked at his husband.

"Saina. I mean, isn't this weird? Tapos kayong dalawa pa ang magkatabi. Tapos kung nakakamatay ang masamang titig, kanina pa nakabulagta si Saina, Mariah keeps on looking at her that way. Nakakakaba, diba?" Sukat na naman hinampas ni Avery ang hit ani Uriel.

"You shouldn't be here!" Kitang – kita ko ang panlalaki ng mga mata ni Uriel habang nakatingin siya sa asawa niya. I, on the other hand find this as an opportunity to make him angry. I wrapped my arm around Avery's waist and pulled her closer. I looked at Uriel while holding Avery that way.

"Thanks, babe." I even winked at Avery. Avery giggled and held my hand. Inis na inis naman si Uriel.

Saina - 2. Uriel – 0

xxxx

AFTER the mass, niyaya naman ako ng buong pamilya nilang sumama sa lunch nila, but at that moment, I needed to decline. Doon na kasi papasok talaga na sobrang awkward na sitwasyon. Okay kami ni Avery, friends kami, pero hindi kami okay ng asawa ni Miguel. Selosa yata talaga si Mariah Consunji. She keeps looking at me with that ridiculous expression in her face. Tinitingnan niya ako mula ulo hanggang paa tapos sasabayan niya ng pagkapit sa braso ni Miguel, gusto ko sanang sabihin kay Mariah na sa tatlong taong engaged kami ng asawa niya, kahit kailan walang nangyari sa amin ni Miguel.

We kissed, we held hands, but never more than that. He kept telling me that he wanted a virgin bride kaya noong nalaman niyang hindi na ako ganoon, he dumped me like a hot potato – o baka naman ginawa na lang niyang excuse iyon noon para makakawala sa akin, but nonetheless, nasaktan pa rin ako. It was a blow for my ego, someone not wanting me just because I am no longer what they needed. Napakasakit noon. But I got over it. I was full of angst before. Sa totoo lang hindi ko naiintindihan kung paanong nawala lahat ng galit ko sa katawan, and I'd like to think that it's because of a certain angel sent by the Heavens whom I named Haniel.

"Hindi ka po sasama, Mommy?" Haniel asked me as we were walking out of the church. I leveled with him, not caring that my dress will get dirty. Inayos ko ang bow tie niya at ang vest na suot niya saka hinagkan siya sa pisngi.

"Nope. Mommy has to go to Ninang Rai's shop today. Daddy will be taking care of you today, be good okay?"

"Can I play with my tab and video call Joshua like yesterday?"

"Sure love. But when Daddy says time over na, time over na ha?"

"Opo. I love you, Mommy." Haniel wrapped his little arms around my neck and kissed me on the cheeks. Ang cute – cute niya talaga. Nagpaalam na rin ako sa mga magulang at kapatid ni Uriel, maliban kay Miguel – it's been years pero hindi pa rin kami okay na dalawa and that's okay, I guess. I have forgiven him for hurting me, and I hope he did the same for me, but most of the times, forgiveness doesn't mean reconciliation.

Sumakay na ako sa kotse at nag-drive paalis sa parking lot ng simbahan. It's a Sunday but I wanted to visit one of our shops. Nasabihan ko rin naman agad si Rai – my business partner that I'd be coming to visit the shop. Tama lang naman daw ang pagpunta ko, ipapakilala niya ako sa bagong mukha ng shop namin. I told her over the phone that I don't like famous models to be the face of our new product. Naniniwala kasi akong mas madaling katrabaho iyong mga nagsisimula pa lang, they're not demanding, madali silang kausap saka mababait, unlike those famous models – well not all – just some of them.

After twenty – minutes, I arrived at the shop. Linggo pero natuwa ako na makitang maraming tao sa loob, and that the attendees were busy assisting the clients. Nagtuloy naman ako sa loob kung saan natagpuan ko si Rai na kausap ang isa sa mga attendees namin. The girl smiled at me.

"It's so kind of you to grace us your presence, Miss Saina." Wika ni Rai habang nakangisi sa akin. Rai – to me and some of our friends is known by many as Ramona Calimbao – the only daughter of the former President of the Republic.

"Hello, Rai, I missed you too, how are you?"

"Horny and stressed. I really need some dick or some pussy whatever comes first. Anyways, Saina, the models are here. Tatlo na lang sila and I want you to sit with me through this look test. Ayokong masayang sa kung kanino lang ang bagong collection ng make up at perfumes natin no." I followed her to the second floor. I've knowmn Rai since college, she knows Uriel too, they were good friends, they had the same interest, in women and in cars, but when I broke Uriel and I broke up, it's like they had broken up too.

I saw three girls as I entered our joint office. I missed being here. Mas gusto kong dito pumasok kaysa sa office ng food corporation. Nakaka-stress lang naman doon. I sighed and smiled at the girls. They were all equally beautiful but I had my eye already on one of them.

The one sitting in the middle wearing a beautiful floral dress paired with simple flats. She's so simple and yet her eyes tell me something.

"These are Loraine, Alona and River."

I smiled again. Rai did what she had to do. Nakaupo lang ako roon habang kinakausap niya ang mga models, matapos ang twenty minutes ay pinalabas niya ang mga ito saka siya bumaling sa akin.

"Choose." She said to me.

"Ikaw, sinong gusto mo?"

"Wag mo akong tanungin, kasi bias ako. I like River, I wanna lick her all over. If you ask me, I'd choose her." Nagkibit balikat siya habang umuupo sa swivel chair niya. I shook my head. "What? Don't play innocent, Saina. You had your fair share of pussies and cocks."

"I prefer cocks nowadays, Rai." Pasalamat na lang talaga ako at hindi ganito si Ramona kapag kasama ko ang anak ko. "Anyway, Alona is really beautiful. I like her skin color. Very Filipina. Maganda rin iyong features niya. She can be the new face of Maria Clara."

"Oh, then it's her na. She's a balik-bayan. According sa interview niya nasa states siya for four years, engaged to be married but then, naghiwalay sila ng fiancé kaya umuwi rito for work."

"Oh... that's a tea." I giggled. "Sign her. Kung may agency siya, kausapin mo na."

"Sure, sure." Lumabas si Rai para makipag – usap sa kanila. Ako naman ay nag-check ng mga finances namin. Hindi naman natagal iyon kasi maayos naman ang pagkakalagat ng reports. Business is doing great, sana lang talaga matapos na kami sa food corp para makabalik na ako sa mas relaxed na working place. Ayoko talaga roon, parang kakainin ako ng buhay ng mga tao roon – lalo na ni Papa.

I stayed the whole day – almost, pero noong nagpaalam na si Rai na aalis ay umalis na rin ako. I drove around. Nag-text pa ako kay Uriel, tinatanong ko si Haniel but I was replied by a picture of my sleeping boy. Mukhang hindi na maiuuwi ni Uriel ang bata, and that's okay. May gamit naman si Haniel sa bahay nila, ihahatid na lang niya bukas ang bata sa school.

Medyo disappointed rin ako. I was looking forward for the Sunday night cuddles with my son, but I guess we can do that next week. Sa ngayon, mag – isa lang ako, pupunta na lang muna ako sa mall. I think I'll stay in a café until it's late, para pag – uwi ko, matutulog na lang ako.

I was walking obliviously, looking around but not really paying attention to anything – not until someone – a little someone wrapped his tiny arms around my waist. Nagulat ako, pero agad ko rin namang nakilala ang gumawa noon kaya mabilis akong ngumiti.

"Hi, Joshua!"

"Hello, Mommy! Nakita po kita pagpasok mo po pero hindi mo ako narinig po!"

"Sinong kasama mo?" Parang on cue naman, bigla kong narinig ang boses ni Birada. Humahangos siyang huminto sa tapat naming dalawa ni Joshua. I looked at him. Napakunot ang noo ko. Was that a blush on his face? Why is he blushing so hard?

"Papa, si Mommy Saina!" Joshua looked behind me, then to my left and right. "Mommy, nasaan si Hanhan?"

"Ah, he's with his Dad."

"Ah! Mag-isa ka lang? Sama ka sa amin! Kasama naming mga Tito ko saka si Lola!"

"Oh, no!" I waved my hands as a sign of saying no. It's a family day, hindi naman nila ako pamilya kaya hindi ako dapat sumama.

"Yes, you can join us." Biglang nagsalita si Birada. Napatingin tuloy ako sa kanya. "Kung hindi ka naman busy." Mahinang wika niya sa akin. I opened my mouth to say something but it was cut short because I saw his family approaching – three guys and then a middle aged woman with a smile on her face.

"Lola siya po si Mommy Saina!"

"Mommy?!" Sabi noong lalaking may kahabahaan ang buhok. "Jowa mo ba ito Gers?"

"Teka!" Sabi naman noong isa. "Hindi siguro, masyadong maganda si Miss."

"Diba friend ka ni Avery." Wika pa noong isa. I nodded. So, this guy knows Barang. I looked at Birada's mom. I offered my hand.

"Good evening po. Saina Buensuceso." The mother shook my hand.

"We're about to have dinner, hija, sumama ka na sa amin. I want to know more about the woman my only grandson is calling Mommy."

Dapat tumanggi ako, kaya nga tumanggi ako kanina sa lunch kasama ng buong pamilya ni Uriel dahil ayoko ng awkwardness pero heto ako, nahiya na ako ng sobra kaya natagpuan ko ang sarili kong tumatango.

"Uhm sure... but I'm buying my own dinner. Nakakahiya naman po."

"Hindi na, Miss Saina." Sabi noong isang lalaking siniko si Gerry. "Birthday ni Kuya, siya talaga magbabayad ng dinner."

"Oh! Birthday mo? Happy birthday, Birada!" I smiled sweetly, and I swore on all the angles above, namula ang buong mukha ni Birada hanggang leeg at tainga kaya yata nagtawanan ang mga kapatid niya.