Chapter seven: Let me fix it with a joke (pt. 2)

I stuffed my hands into my pockets as the afternoon breeze set in, blowing about my tousled hair and dragging my shirt in different directions. Occasionally I had to press my hand to my stomach to prevent it from moving a little too far up, not that the girl gawking at me from across the street would mind, but I would. The air, despite having been warm and comforting this morning, was now thin and cold. Partly, I think this is just half of the way the world is getting back at me for mistreating Armin, after my talk with Jean at lunch that girl I had "accidentally" pushed over got her brother to punch me. Obviously that's a sign that the world hates me because he would've punched me the same day I had knocked her over, but it's not my fault the bitch can't walk in heals.

I had Mikasa drop me off at the library early so I could have enough time to think of an apology or even an excuse for my outburst, but every time one does come to mind it makes me sound like a complete and total asshole, not that I aren't one already.

"It's your fault for being too cute." I'd sound gay.

"Maybe if you'd stop flashing that chubby cheeked smile I wouldn't be all pissy." I still sound gay, but it's so true because I once saw that smile making a crying baby giggle, so who wouldn't. Hell even I do. So I've resorted to coming to the library and looking up ways to apologise, yes, it has come to that. I hadn't opened yet, or at least that's what I keep telling myself to prolong my time away from the building.  I don't want to remember the harsh words I said to him, and although they're already sharp in my mind, going back into the place where it all happened with only sharpen my memory.

I was startled when my phone rang in my pocket ruining the peaceful silence I had been consumed in. Picking up the device, I quickly answered without checking the caller ID. "Y'ello?" I said in a snazzy tone.

"Are you just going to stand there all day?" Mikasa's voice said from over the phone.

"The fu-Where the hell are yo-you fucking creep. Go home." I said after scanning the streets and finding her parked across the street in front of a small clothing shop. I went to rant to her about how she cannot be doing these kinds of things when she hung up the phone and drove away. "This bitch is crazy..." I whisper and hop up the steps to the front of the library, and grip the cold handles and push in. The crisp scent of new plastic covered books and old hardcover books wash over me in an instant, I greeted the librarian as always although she seemed a little disappointed in me, her tone of voice told me so. I ignored it whole heartedly and made my way towards the computer section, thankfully, there was barely any people here today which I'm glad for, because if my apology to Armin fails and he burst into tears, at least u can calm him down in the quiet and vacant seating area. I took a seat and quickly turned on the computer, my fingers slightly quivering, and I couldn't tell if that was from the a/c being set on high or the fear of not finding something suitable enough to spark up a conversation for my apology. Either way, each reason was pretty solid. My fingers typed aimlessly, my mind drifts from thought to thought on ways to bring the chubby cheeked smile on his face. However, so far I've come up short, not being able to find anything that I think would work.

More and more people began to leave the library, I felt as though they feared me, knowing what I had said to Armin that one day but it's impossible, we were outside, and none of their faces are recognisable from the oh so vivid memory. In fear that he might show up soon and I'd be left without any sort of conversation starter, I resorted to jokes. Yes, I'm that one asshat who'd tell a joke to someone I just verbally assaulted in hopes to brush the incident away, and The Douche Bag of The Year award goes to...

I groaned inwardly and scrolled through all of the lame jokes, until one specific one caught my eye, and no, not because it was just cheesy enough to work but because I didn't understand it. But, I know for a fact that Armin will understand perfectly. I wouldn't say that I'm feeling triumphant, I mean he could easily just ignore my attempt, but I wouldn't say its failure because it's a nerd joke...and he's a nerd. A small wave of confidence washed over me before I heard the creek of the large library doors as the swung open and a soft voice called out a hello to the librarian whom gingerly replied unlike the reaction I received. The clack of their shoes rang throughout the empty buildings. "Wow, I don't think I've ever seen the library so full..." The beautiful boy whispers aloud, I can admit that he's beautiful without making it sound super gay. The librarian chuckled, their voice lighter then his own. 

"Neither have I, I've never felt so loved." The librarian responds as I sign out of the tab I was in, clearing my throat which startled the boy slightly as he jumped, not expecting me to be here before him.

"Eren?" The air grew thick with the tension, it was suffocating almost, the once cold atmosphere grew heated. "L-let's get started..." His voice was extremely soft, he seemed afraid to talk, probably fearing I'd have another outburst if he said the wrong thing. 'I'm so sorry..."

"Uh...y-yeah, let's." The short walk to the seating area was quiet, not that there was much to talk about between us, even if I hadn't screwed up(yes I'm admitting that it may have been slightly my fault). I wasn't expecting too much from the short walk, but he seemed tense, no, every fibre in his body screamed it. Ignoring the way he scurried to the seat when he noticed how close I had been walking next to him, I took place in the seat across from him and chucked my book bag against the chair I pulled out next to me and sighed as I searched for my books. The way he avoid eye contact with me didn't go unnoticed either, it wasn't hard to tell that he probably feared me right now. 'I don't want you to hate me.' Armin waited for me to pull out my books and we quickly went to work, or more like I went to work and he guided me.

I'd hardly call it guiding though. He'd shift, jump even, when I said his name. His hands shook slightly when he had to lean a little closer then he'd like to show me how to properly write and balance the chemical equations that wouldn't quite make sense to me. His voice wavered when he explained things, he was scared of me at the moment and it-it sort of-it hurt. I don't know why it did.

An hour into this horrifically tense situation, Armin was tapping his foot nervously as he waited for me to finish the equation I couldn't get, even after fifteen minutes, damn. The library was silent to an extent of which I could no longer take, so I decided that now was the perfect time to speak. 'Here goes nothing...'

"Neon and Xeon are sitting at bar...," I start, Armin flinching the minute my voice pierced the silence.

"E-Eren?" He questioned, his blonde hair bangs hung above his dough eyes as the darted at the spaces around me, I kept my eyes on his, determined to wait to start speaking again until he faced me. So when it happened, when those vibrant and warm blue eyes met my own I let his stare sink in, I didn't realise how much I missed looking at those blue orbs, how they were always so glossy that the light made them seem so shiny. How his thick eyelashes caressed the soft skin under his eyes when he blinked, how much they reminded me of the ocean. I decided to speak before I lost his attention.

"Gold walks in, and Neon says: 'AU, what are you doing here?', you get it...because 'AU is the atomic symbol for gold, and yeah..." At first it was silent for a minute and any shred of confidence I had left began to wither away until I heard it. It was light and soft, but I'd recognise that light and sweet tune anywhere. How pure and angelic it sounded it this ruined and damned atmosphere, slowly but surely I trailed my eyes in his direction, biting my lip at the picture perfect image before me. 'How I wish Armin was a female.' He was slightly hunched over, his eyes squinted as he softly giggled into his pointer finger which was curled in front of his ruby lips, his hair danced along side his face as his shoulder shook gently, and I couldn't help the small smile that forced its way onto my features. My heart thumping in my chest as he cocked his head to the side, his hair following suit as his free hand wrapped around his small waist. His pale cheek were tinted a rosy red, my heart pounding so hard I swear you could hear it, my throat so felt dry, I must be getting a fever, right?

The song the blast through one of the earbuds added to the feeling that had my heart racing and gave me goosebumps, The edge of Tonight by ATL. However, as fast as this sweet mood was created, was as fast as this mood was destroyed. He cleared his throat and hide his face behind his bangs the second he realised I was watching. "I-I...sorry, I didn't mean to laugh." His voice broke towards the beginning.

"N-no please, don't apologise," I start as he lifts those beautiful orbs to face me, "it's me, I should be the one apologising." Those eyes widened, oh god I want to staple those eyes close so I'd never have to feel this queasy again. "I-the other day...that was, I was so out of line. I shouldn't have exploded on you like that, I was just, I mean...I can't make excuses but I swear I didn't mean to have an outbreak like that, I take medicine to control my mood swings and I haven't been taking them lately."
I sputtered out, hoping that he'd understand or at least accept my apology. I knew I was having a mood swing the moment I got angry over his smile but that doesn't make it okay just because I have to take medicine for me. "You didn't, I shouldn't have said those things to you, just stop-don't cry anymore, okay?" The last sentence that left my mouth made my cheeks heat up slightly.

If it's possible, the air only grew thicker so that the knife that had sliced through it was now stuck. I waited for his response as he took in what I said, and I was willing to wait for however long it was that he spends contemplating my apology because he deserves the time-only because made him cry!

"E-Eren, I...I forgive you, and if you're just apologising because you think I'm going to stop tutoring you-"

"I would never..." I whisper, which made him giggle.

"Well, just in case I would tutor you anyways, I've promised myself and my mother that I'd help you, and we've come this far, right?" I nod my head eagerly and his slightly pained yet sweet laugh resonates throughout the air. "Just please start taking your medicine, I'd hate for this to happen again, plus I think you look much better with a smile on your face." He states with the smile that caused all of this, his small hand places atop my own now, his slender fingers rubbing the back of my hand in such away that it could easily turn anyone into putty. "Now, let's see what you got here, hm?" He cocks his brows and uses his free hand to take my paper and check it, those soft slender fingers still gently caressing the back of my hand as he hummed a small tune, my body still set ablaze from the spark from his touch. His image burning into memory, I fought back the urge to intertwine our hands just for the heck of it, just to get a feel of what it was like to have such a soft palm touching my own. As the atmosphere eased around us and the tense situation morphed into a peacefully quiet one, as the way his ruby lips moved as he told me the mistakes I made, as my heart slowed into a sweet beat that skipped every few minutes, one thought was stuck in my mind. As a I unconsciously grinned softly at him and the blush refused to leave me. "fuck you, Armin Arlert."

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Sorry if it seems rushed, I tried to write it quickly for some who I kept waiting and I think they know who they are. I'm sorry! However, here you go! I hope you all enjoyed <3 I apologise for any gammer mistakes!

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