Ryan doesn't call the next day, or the next day after that even, and when I pass him in the hallway at school the day after that, he stares down at the ground and just completely pretends I don't exist. It hurts a little (okay, a lot) but I guess, deep down, I understand.

At lunch, Spencer doesn't sit with us, which is weird, but when I ask, Jon just shrugs, and smiles, all cute and sweet, and says, "He just wanted to hang out with his friends today."

Honestly, at first I'm little relieved, and it's not even because I still don't like Spencer all that much, but because I've missed my best friend this past week. However, I soon realize, that it doesn't really matter that Spencer's not sitting with us, because Jon just sits there and rambles on about him like he's a God or something, so he mine as well be. So, I just sit there and run my plastic fork through my macaroni, and wonder how did we ever get involved with these guys? I mean, seriously, if someone was to tell me a few months back that Jon would be fucking Spencer Smith and I'd be having a makeout session in my car with Ryan Ross, and he'd be telling me those things he told me, there's no way in hell I'd believe it. And, okay, maybe I still don't quite believe it.

I guess, finally after a solid thirty minutes of Jon going on about Spencer, he realizes I'm not saying anything or really paying attention for that matter, and goes, "I know you're not too fond of Spencer, but would it kill you to at least pretend to be happy for me?" he snaps, his voice a mix of hurt and anger. And, it's weird because, Jon's really never anything but bubbly and happy and oh, I love life. Especially now that dear ol' Spencer Smith is in his life (and bed).

I look up from my macaroni, startled, because that's not it at all. "What?"

"Ever since me and Spence got together you've barely say anything to me, not once have you, I don't know, congratulated me or something. It's like you cant even be happy for me."

"Jon," I start, and sigh, because I really don't need this. "Did you ever think that this has nothing to do with you and Spencer? The world doesn't revolve around him. I'm sorry if I just don't feel like going into an hour long conversation on just how amazing Spencer is, okay? And, really, how the fuck am I suppose to get a word in when it's either you just going on about him, or you two just sitting there in your own little world, and ignore me. So, don't even pull that shit. You know I'm happy for you, Jon, no matter how I feel about Spencer. But, seriously, could you just stop for one moment and see that there's other things in this world than Spencer fucking Smith."

He kind of just stares at me, and a few minutes slowly tick by, and he's still sitting there, staring at me, with no words passing his lips. Finally, he gets up and I just stay seated as he storms out of the cafeteria, because I just don't have the energy to go after him.

---

The next day after school, when Ryan passes by me at my locker with his head down and back-pack slung over his shoulder, I grab him by the wrist, and pull him back before I even have a chance to think about what I'm doing, or even what I'm going to say.

He looks up at me with wide eyes. "Brendon, hey," he breathes, and darts his eyes around the crowded school hallway.

"You ignore me for four days and all you have to say is hi?"

He shrugs and doesn't meet my eyes. "I've been... thinking," he says, voice low.

"You cant ignore me forever," I say back softly.

He does this little eye roll, and this is when I notice that my hands still around his wrist, and that we're so close together, I can feel his breath on my cheek as he speaks. "I'm not, okay?"

"I know you're a little freaked out by what happened, but please, just... don't push me away," I say into his ear so people around us couldn't hear even if they wanted, which trust me, they're far to busy trying to get out of the school to stop and eavesdrop on our little conversation.

He sighs, and looks up at the ceiling briefly. "Can we just... not talk about this here, right in the middle of the school hallway, please?"

"Well, I doubt you'll talk to me anywhere else."

He bites his lip, and finally looks me in the eye. "I have to do a few things first... but, how about I come over to your house around seven? We'll talk then, alright?"

I nod, and finally let his wrist go. "Okay. Promise?"

He gives me a short nod and a small, obviously forced smile back. "Yeah, promise." And with that, he disappears down the hall.

---

It's ten minutes after seven, and I'm pretty damn positive Ryan isn't going to come over. I should just admit the fact that I'm going to be friendless, and stuck with my hippy, stoner boyfriend (whom I love very much) for the rest of my life.

At seven thirty I'm ready to dig myself into a deep hole under my bed and never come out.

At seven forty, I about to start crying and I'm just about to start on that hole when there's a soft knock at my bedroom door, and Ryan's meek voice going, "It's me."

And, it's kind of like my whole future brightens up for me a little right at that very moment.

"Uh, yeah, come in," I say, trying to keep the squeek on the DL.

The door slowly slides open to reveal none other than Mr. George Ryan Ross himself, then he slowly closes the door shut bedhind him, and he's got this look on his face like he's really contemplating running back out the door and never coming back. However, the door shuts with a click, and a few suspended seconds pass, with Ryan just staring down at my door handle before he ever-so-slowly reaches down and turns the lock.

My stomach does a few jumps, because that is always a good sign when you have a really, really attractive boy in your room. Unless... he wants to kill you. Then, it's not so good. But, then again, I've never really taken Ryan as the killing type of guy.

Finally, he turns to face me, lip in between his teeth.

"Hi," I say, and I cant even help it anymore as my voice comes out all squeaky and embarrassing.

"Hey..." he says, unsure. He jiggles his knee up and down as he looks around my room like it's his first time ever stepping foot in here, which it obviously isn't..

"How did... those things you were going to... do... go?" I ask, and great, now I sound even lamer.

"Uh, good."

I nod, and that's the end of that conversation, and the beginning of a very awkward silence that seems to drag on forever, until Ryan finally breaks it by going, "So... you wanted to talk?"

"Yeah..." I say, because I did, and of course, now my mind is totally blank.

"So..." he says back, and then enter another long silence.

"So..." I clear my throat, and decide to just get it over with already before he leaves and I really miss my chance. "You said you were thinking... so... what was your uh, conclusion?"

He darts his eyes around my room, avoiding me and anywhere at least three feet of me, as he says, "I havnt exactly come to one yet..." He takes a few hesitant steps towards me, like he's just not sure what the heck he's about to do, before he finally just like, gets over it and sits down beside me on my bed. "But, so far, it's brought me here," he says quietly as he stares down at his hands fiddling together on his lap.

He looks like this cute, little puppy or something that I just want to stuff him in a bag and kidnap him.

"Hey, look, okay," I start, happy that we were finally getting somewhere. "I know you're confused over this, cause honestly, I even am a little myself and I'm like, the... gay one here or whatever..."

He makes a weird face but doesn't say anything, he just nods.

"But, I mean... I don't know. Just... follow your heart? And, I know, that sounds so ridiculously corny, but for once, you just have to do what Ryan feels, not what others tell you to. And, okay, just because your dad feels that way... doesn't mean the rest of the world does. Especially... God."

I've barely finish my sentence before Ryan's lunging back at me with almost as much force as the night in my car, and I find myself still a little shocked as his soft lips move against mine. However, at least, it doesn't take me forever before I can actually react and I don't know, kiss him back?

And, geez, his lips are like... heaven. They're all warm an soft, and I find myself wondering if he uses lip chap.

And when his tongue slides gracefully into my mouth, and along my tongue, and it's like it belongs there or something. And I could so totally do this for the rest of my life.

We kiss for a few good, solid minutes, barely taking a breath in between and by the time we stop, we're both panting like we ran a marathon or something. And, I'm thinking that if we plan to do this more often (which we have to or I'll die. Seriously, I'll just fall over and die, I'm sure of it) that we really have to learn how to multi-task. You know, kiss and still live.

Ryan keeps his face right up against mine, and we're so freaking close, I can feel his hot breath mix with mine. I run my hand down his soft cheek and to his neck. He smiles and says, "I'm still trying to decide if this feels weird or not..."

All I can really do is send him a look, because I'm pretty positive I'm never going to be able to breath or talk or really do anything ever again... except kiss him, of course. Again, I could do that for the rest of my life.

"So far... I'm thinking it's not so weird."

I kind of just grin like a mad man as a reply, lean forward, closing the few centimeters between us to press a quick kiss to his lips. Then, not even a minute later, we're back to making out -- no breathing included.