When we finally get out of my car and make our way up Jon's front yard to his door, things between Ryan are still a little... let's say, awkward. He stays two feet behind me at all times, and when Mrs. Walker answers the door he forces a polite smile, but doesn't really say much after that.

Of course, when we head up the stairs, Ryan still stays three steps behind me. Then, obviously, I'm not really thinking because I just barge into Jon's room without knocking, which is really fucking dumb, since Spencer is alone in the room with him. But sorry, I'm still not used to this whole, Jon having a boyfriend thing. Thankfully, they're just making out, but of course, Ryan makes this big scene when he comes in behind me, turns around, does this whole groan thing and goes, "Don't you guys ever stop?!"

He stays with his back turned to them, until they finally pull apart with not a hint of embarrassment on either of their faces. Of course, because its Spencer and Jon after all. Ugh. So, yeah, I guess I can understand why Ryan gets so freaked out some times, but sometimes, really, he takes it too far considering we do the exact same thing like, every chance we get.

"No... we really don't," Jon smirks, and presses his face into Spencer's neck.

He giggles, and ducks his head away, a slight tint of pink now grazing his cheeks. He turns and sends Jon a look that so just screams, what did I tell you about doing things in front of Ryan, Jonathan Walker?

Jon rolls his eyes.

I take a seat on the small, bright, orange chair in the corner of his room, because I'm sure as hell not going to take a chance sitting on Jon's bed, because considering Spencer and Jon's sex life, I don't even want to think about what's on it.

Ryan must be thinking the same thing, because he just kind of stands there with his arms crossed over his chest, looking quite uncomfortable because there's nowhere else in his room to sit (besides except the floor, but really, it's Ryan, and Ryan doesn't do floors).

I wiggle my eyebrows at him, and pat my lap. He scowls back and walks over to the other side of his Jon's room, and settles for leaning against his computer desk.

Ouch. But, really, it's not like I actually expected him to sit on my lap anyways, because, hello, he was just screaming at me and calling me a slut and a whore less than fifteen minutes ago. Then there's also the fact that there's people around - even if it is just Jon and Spencer.

And, to be quite honest, I'm still quite confused on why he's still mad at me. I mean, I thought we settled this back in the car with our whole life-changing conversation, you know, the one where I told him I'd put off sex for him. Hell, that should keep me safe from his wrath for well over a few months. I'm sacrificing sex here, people!

Jon looks between us, confused, then goes, "Uh oh, trouble in paradise? Could Brendon not get it up again? Don't worry, Ryan, it's not you, he's always had a problem."

Spencer lets out a few girlish giggles, then quickly covers his mouth. Jon looks down at him, with this pleased look on his face because he so did the impossible by making the fucking bitch laugh for once in his life.

I want to chuck a thousand page dictionary at both their giggling heads.

Ryan doesn't seem to find this too funny either, because he sends me a I'm-going-to-kill-your-unborn-babies look and goes to Jon, "Oh really? Because he seems to get it up just fine for Ethan."

Jon and Spencer immediately stop their little giggling fest and look up like, huh?

I lean back in Jon's chair, cover my face and groan. "Ryan."

He ignores me and keeps on going, "Apparently, Brendon here thought it would be okay that after he broke up with Ethan, he'd leave me sitting around my house waiting for him for two hours, while he had 'breakup sex' with him."

Jon sends me a look that's almost impressed, but then Spencer does this whole gasp/oh my god thing, and then he quickly covers it up. And I'm totally planning Jon Walker's death right now, that stupid traitor!

And, for the record, I still don't see what the big fucking deal is!!!

"Seriously, Ryan!" I cry, and I just want to disappear. Because did he really find it necessary to bring Jon and Spencer into this too?

Ryan ignores me, and looks over at Spencer, waiting for him to say something.

I brace myself, because I'm pretty sure Spencer's going to start yelling at me to for being a stupid, inconsiderate, easy, prick too. However, he takes a deep breath and slowly says, "But, Ryan... aren't you still dating Dayna?"

There's a long, deadly pause, and I can practically hear everyone in the room stop breathing. Jon grabs onto Spencer's arm like he's afraid Ryan will attack him. Which, to be honest, by the look on Ryan's face, I wouldn't be too surprised if he did.

And, okay, maybe I take away everything I said about hating Spencer Smith.

"Yeah, but..."

"So, you can't exactly be mad at him..." he says, carefully. "I'd understand if you weren't dating Dayna, and you and Brendon were actually together... but, you're not. Not until you and Dayna are over, and you know that."

The room's completely silent now, and Jon grabs even tighter onto Spencer's arm and slinks down into his bed, because Ryan may be this scrawny little thing but he looks fucking terrifying (okay, and really sexy) when he's angry.

Spencer, however, obviously isn't that afraid because he keeps going, "And, Ryan, wasn't Brendon the one who suggested breaking up with him? If he hadn't, they'd still be having sex. Not just tonight either. He broke up with his boyfriend for a year to be with you - who's too much of wimp to break up with your own girlfriend who you don't even like. Then, you turn around and get mad at him for having sex with his boyfriend one last time? I don't think that's really fair, considering you're not even going out."

Once Spencer's done, the silence drags on forever. No one says a thing. Ryan just stands there and stares, face red, and Jon just clings onto Spencer for his dear life, and I just kind of sit there with my mouth open feeling kind of sorry for Spencer. Which, trust me, I never thought that'd happen in my life.

Finally, after what seems like hours of complete silence, Ryan lets out this long breath that he seems to have been holding in this whole time, turns to me and goes, quietly, "I'm sorry."

Jon releases his death grip on Spencer's arm, and I smile softly over at Ryan., and go, "it's okay."

Then, not even an hour later, we're back in my room, with the door locked, making out and all in the world is good again.

- - -

A week passes and Ryan still hasn't broken up with Dayna. We don't discuss her, we don't even breath her name, but she still hangs in the air like a bad cold sore that you just can't get rid of no matter how hard you try.

And trust me, as a victim of an unnecessary amount of mouth herpes as a child (no, not that sexually transmitted ones, sickos), those really suck.

Anyways, Ryan spends every lunch with me (and Jon, and Spencer)... except for Wednesdays. No, Wednesdays are for her.

So, I, on the other hand, spend my Wednesdays glaring over at them, tables away, kissing and touching and fucking giggling while Spencer and Jon frolic across the table from me. It's really not my idea of a good time.

Like, seriously, gag me with a fucking spork, please.

We barely even like, kiss! What-the-fuck-ever, Ry Ross.

Okay, so here's the thing; Dayna... well Dayna's really ridiculously pretty. Which obviously means a lot, because admitting it is like stabbing myself in the heart over and over and over and over again. She's got this long, wavy brown hair, and her nose and cheeks are sprinkled with dozens of light, tiny freckles, and she doesn't even cover them up like most girls either. Which, really makes it suck all the more, because she's just naturally that beautiful, and ugh. Bitch. I mean, it's not like I wear makeup (not on most days, anyways) but I'm so not even close to competing with her. Except for the fact that we have a few different parts... however, I am still not quite sure what appeals to Ryan.

Now, here's the hardest thing to say of all, if I wasn't so freaking in love with him, I would think they were perfect together. But, I am, so they're not.

Luckily, I manage to avoid her at all costs. I've got like, this third sense when it comes to her. I just know when she's coming. And, it does help that me and Ryan have this unspoken thing, that he should never approach me, anywhere within 7.5 feet of me, or really even look at me when he's with her. That's really the obvious though because it's like, Rule #3 on the Cheating on Your Girlfriend With a Guy Handbook, duh.

However, my luck can only last for so long.

It's after school in late March, probably about two or so weeks after I broke up with Ethan, and of course, Ryan still hasn't broken up with Dayna.

Everyone's pretty much long gone, because hello, it's a Friday and no one sticks around fifteen minutes after the last bell. Then again, except for some geeky freshman at the very end of the hall, but a few more minutes pass and then he's gone too. Then, there's also a few teachers that rush down the hall every few minutes or so, messenger bag slung over their shoulder and keys dangling from their fingers.

I'm standing at Ryan's locker, waiting for him while he attempts to shove all his stuff into his backpack. It's taking much more longer than it should because I keep hitting on him with these lame pick-up lines (even though I think I've gotten past the picking up part quite awhile ago), then he'll start to giggle and sometimes, even drop a few books or papers in the process.

Then, he'll usually do a quick look around the hall to make sure the coast is clear, then he'll lean forward and kiss me a few times before going back and shoving his stuff into his bag, face red. Then we'll giggle some more because it's like, this big rush kissing in the middle of the school hallway, even if no one is around, because there still is some chance of someone walking around the corner, like a teacher or some student who stayed behind. There's also the fact that there's a camera not even three feet away from us, and for all we know the secretaries could be crowding around the TV, watching us.

"Is there a ninja in your pants? 'Cause your ass is kicking!"

Ryan giggles some more, and jabs a bony finger at my hip. "Brendon stop! We're never going to get out of here!" he whines, and I grab onto his finger, before lacing the rest of mine with his.

I grin, wriggle my eyebrows, and go to kiss him again, but I'm quickly cut off by someone saying Ryan's name.

And, of course, fucking Dayna had to be the one to ruin this cutesy little moment with Ryan. Of-fucking-course, because that's just how much the world loves me.

Ryan jumps away from me immediately, eyes wide. "Dayna, hey!" he says, a little to enthusiastically, and a little too squeaky, and he just looks so guilty. I can't see my face, but I'm pretty sure I do too. There's no way in hell she couldn't of seen that. "You scared me," he continues, and he doesn't even sneak a glance over to me. My face burns as I stare down at the ground. "What are you still doing here?"

"I just had to talk to Ms. Wake about a project," she says, and she's got this huge grin on her face and thank fucking God, she's just as naive as Ryan or we'd so be screwed. But then again, I'd finally have Ryan to myself.

And, I guess, it has a little to do with the fact that she is a few fries short of a happy meal, if you know what I mean.

Ha.

She links her skinny arm around Ryan's just as skinny one, and presses a quick kiss to his mouth

I stare back down at the ground, and I can feel the blood rushing to my face. Did she really have to do that in front of me? It's one thing to see it from across the cafeteria but another to see it right in front of your face. Especially, when you were just doing the same thing not even five minutes ago.

"Brendon, right?" she asks, tilting her head towards me. It kind of makes her look like a retarded dog.

I stare at her hand grabbing onto his. I blink, and force myself to look up into her pale blue eyes. "Um, yeah. Hey."

She sends me a warm smile, and flips some hair over her shoulders. "It's funny," she starts, "how we've never even really talked, and you and Ryan have become such good friends lately."

Oh, yeah, just hilarious.

"Hm... yeah... haha... funny..."

Why isn't she leaving? Why is she still standing here, holding onto my Ryan's arm? Why? Why? WHY?!

Her cross glimmers against her chest, as she leans up and presses another kiss to his lips. There's no tongue, but it's not a peck either.

I look away.

"I better get going though," she says, and squeezes Ryan's waist. "I'll see you around, Brendon. It was nice finally meeting you." She gives me another little wave and disappears down the hall.

Ryan looks at me, I look at him and there's nothing that either of us can really say. We both know it.

He stuffs the rest of the things in his backpack, this time with no interruptions of cheesy pickup lines or daring kisses. He zips it up, then throws it over his shoulder. "Let's go," he says, as he slams his locker shut and we start down the hall.

When we get to the confinement of his car, he takes my hand with his long, boney ones, kisses my cheek, then my eyebrow as he whispers he's sorry into my skin.

His breath burns. His words even burn. I kind of want to cry, but I don't know why, because she's always been there.

But, I blink, nod, and force a smile. "It's okay," I say.

And, its not. He knows it's not. I know it's not. But, for right now, it doesn't matter because it's still Ryan Ross.

And I still love him.