My music kept getting interrupted by the notification sound triggered by Elsa. She had been texting me since she woke up, wanting to know what had happened last night. I hadn't told them anything on the way back and they hadn't asked. It was obvious they suspected something, after all, my lipstick had been totally smudged and my top had been hanging crookedly out of my skirt. They had probably been too polite to bring it up, but clearly, Elsa's patience had run out.

So I stopped my routine after a jump with a spin and pulled my phone out of my jacket pocket. The entire lock screen was covered with messages from her.

12:34pm
Astrid

12:34pm
I

12:34pm
Swear

12:34pm
To

12:34pm
God

12:34pm
If you don't answer me

12:34pm
I will track you

12:34pm
And kick your ass so
hard

12:34pm
You won't be able to
sit for a week

And so on and so forth. I sighed deeply. On one hand, I wanted to tell her to share the burden, but on the other, I was afraid she'd judge me and end our friendship. It was still cheating and I had initiated it, and I still only felt partially bad about it, even though I should hate myself. This was exactly what wasn't supposed to happen. The thing I'd told myself would never happen, I had done it. And now I stood here, in the middle of the ice rink, not knowing whether I should tell my best friend or not.

She sent another message.

12:37pm
I can see that you're online

That was her subtle way of saying I couldn't get away with it anymore. So I started typing.

12:38pm
Pick me up at the ice rink
in town, we can go to a café
and talk

12:38pm
And please stop
spamming me

❁

She had Jack in tow, which I really should have expected. They were visibly surprised when they saw me skating my laps and doing pirouettes. That's when I remembered I hadn't told them about my hobby yet.

I slid over to them, putting my headphones back into their case and trying to avoid their piercing stares.

"You do figure skating?" Elsa said as I reached them at the gate.

"Yes," I replied simply. I stepped off the ice to put on my shoes. "My mom was a professional figure skater. She taught me when I was little. I only started again last month."

"That's really cool," Jack said, looking impressed. "Probably pretty hard too, right? You have to constantly keep your balance on those blades."

I tried to smile. "At first, yes, but eventually it's like stepping on solid ground. You get used to it and so does your body."

They waited patiently while I packed up my things and slung my bag over my shoulder. "Which café do you want to go to?"

"We usually go to Bernd's, do you know it?" Elsa said beside me as we climbed the steps.

I shook my head. "Never heard of it."

She grinned at me from the side. "Then get ready for the best tiramisu you've ever had."

Bernd's was a medium-sized, two-story café with a rustic style. A front of large windows looked out onto the street, lined with high tables and stools occupied by people with their laptops. The counter was a half display case filled with cakes and pastries, currently a lot of Christmas cookies. On the wall hung a wide board with all the different coffee and cocoa varieties they offered. In the left corner were several cozy seating nooks, which according to Jack only existed on the second floor.

Elsa asked if I preferred cocoa or coffee - my answer was cocoa - and she ordered what she claimed was the best choice for me. She and Jack each got a cappuccino and a slice of tiramisu. Once our order was ready, I followed them up the wooden stairs to their favorite nook, as they called it.

"We always try to sit here because it's the place we sat the first time we came here," Elsa explained, taking off her jacket and tossing it onto the bench behind her. Jack and I followed suit.

She handed me my tiramisu and cocoa, which was piled high with whipped cream and cinnamon. It smelled amazing, like a cozy evening on the couch while Santa Clause played on TV. That's how we had spent Christmas Eve the past few years, it had always made it the best day of the year.

"You have to try it," Elsa said with a wide smile, already holding her fork. "With us."

We all took a bite, toasted with our forks, and dug in. They were right, it really was the best tiramisu I had ever had. The taste of the different ingredients exploded in my mouth. I sighed happily and immediately scooped up another bite.

"Another one on our side," Jack said with a grin. Elsa laughed and took a sip of her cappuccino.

She let me enjoy another bite in peace, then started staring at me again, waiting for me to finally spill the beans. Jack nudged her gently in the side to make her aware of the staring, but she was undeterred.

So I looked at them both, sitting curiously across from me, and with a pounding heart told them the truth. "Hiccup and I kissed."

Before I could even go through all the worst-case scenarios in my head, Elsa was already grinning and slammed her hand on the table. "I knew it!" The people at the next table gave her annoyed looks, but she didn't care. "The lipstick, the top, your totally dazed expression. You just had to put one and one together."

Her grin didn't fade, nor did Jack's. "Okay, but it wasn't just kissing, we basically made out."

Jack's eyebrows shot up while Elsa let out a near-maniacal giggle. "Even better! How was it? Good? Fantastic? Did you want more after that?"

I looked at her, confused. "Elsa, I ... don't you understand? It was wrong, it shouldn't have happened."

"Why not?" Jack asked, frowning. "You both wanted it."

They had forgotten, just like I had in that moment, I thought to myself because there was no other explanation. "He's still with Stacy. He cheated on her last night, with me, and I started it even though I promised her I'd never do something like that."

That seemed to jog Jack's memory. "Oh, right."

"When did you promise her that?" Elsa asked, once again cutting straight to the important part.

So I told them about the day I visited my mom's grave, this time the whole story.

"She did what now?" Elsa said, louder than what's acceptable in a café. She scoffed. "After an act like that, she deserves Hiccup kissing you behind her back."

"Elsa," Jack said warningly.

She looked at him. "What? That's crazy."

"Of course it is, but Astrid's right, cheating is wrong."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever." She took my trembling hands in hers. "Listen to me, Astrid. Don't feel bad about this, okay? Yes, it sucks for Stacy, but no one can turn back time. It happened in an emotional moment, I imagine, and even though it was wrong, maybe it finally helped Hiccup open his eyes. He was just as involved and he didn't stop it. You're both to blame."

I could cry. They didn't abandon me, they didn't hate me or judge me. Only now did I realize how scared I'd been, when I looked into Elsa's understanding face. Her hands squeezed mine and I never wanted to let go.

"I don't think he told her," I whispered, looking at both of them. "When we left, I saw him standing with her. She was laughing. She wouldn't have done that if she knew."

Elsa's expression changed immediately. "He probably didn't have the guts."

"Or," Jack said, "he wanted to tell her in private so she wouldn't make a scene." Elsa raised an eyebrow at him. "Look, he's my best friend. I know him better than almost anyone. He's made a lot of bad choices lately, but you know as well as I do that he's an honest person. He can't keep something like this to himself, he'll tell her. He just has to decide when and how."

She sighed. "Yeah, I know. I can't hate him, no matter how much I want to."

That made me smile. "I know that feeling."

Jack looked at me sadly. "Give him this chance, just this one. I really think he got it now."

I nodded. "I will. We'll see what happens on Monday."

Elsa let go of my hands. "That's a problem for future-you. For now, finish your tiramisu and then tell us how delicious it was."

I laughed and picked up my fork. It was gone in no time, and as we sipped our drinks afterward - mine tasted fantastic by the way -, we talked about the rest of the party, what we'd seen, who went home with whom, and what our Christmas plans were. For the first time in my life, I was out with friends and didn't feel out of place. It was a good feeling.