It's 2:30a.m. but I really need to get this off my chest. 

I've been watching some Mackenzie and Maddie from Dance Moms videos for the past few hours and the way Mackenzie is treated made me literally cry. 

There was this one thing where Abby was all like "Who are you?" and she was just like, "I'm Mackenzie" and then Abby talked about trying to make Mackenzie as good as Maddie. 

And then another video where while she was rehearsing she told Mackenzie, "Maddie is like a breath of fresh air and you're like that thing they spray in the bathroom."

And then in a video Mackenzie as getting comforted by all the other moms about her being her and not Maddie but her own mother was silent. 

I know that it's just a reality show and it's all 'fake and edited to look this way' but I just need to point out that this is not okay. This is the opposite of okay. 

Siblings are not the same. Everyone is their own person. 

This hits me so hard because my sister was the star ballroom dancer when I used to take dance. She met people from Dancing with the Stars, she was in competitions, she was in the older kids dances. She even got a solo at one point. 

Now, I'm not good at dance. I was never given the proper attention or credit to actually become a good dancer. If you check my dad's old youtube channel it's full of "Tori dances to this" and "Tori dances to that" and there's maybe three videos with me in them out of his twenty something. 

My seventh grade teachers were my sister's seventh grade teachers. When my dad went to the open house to meet them they gave him information on the classes and then started to talk about Tori and were all talking about how much they loved her and when my dad came home and told Tori that I acted fine but I just want to quickly say that I wasn't alright and it hurt.

Me and my sister both tried out for show choir and my sister made it but I didn't. This fat girl named Erika made it but I didn't. That year show choir ended up going to Disney Land and I missed out because I wasn't as good as my sister. 

Currently my sister is on the dance team at my school and one of the officers in the French club. She has a boyfriend and a really close group of friends who text her every day. She didn't get lower than a B- for her final grades last semester. 

When people hear about her they expect me to be just like her. But the thing is: I'm not. 

Currently I am in the French Club but I haven't gone to a single activity due to my sister not feeling it. I've never been asked out before and probably never will be. I haven't received a text from a friend in months and she just texted me to ask if I wanted to buy some paintings her mom didn't want to keep. I actually don't have a close group of friends or really friends in general now that  think of it. I spend my time watching YouTube videos and Friends and How I Met Your Mother. I also make graphics that suck and write books that are mediocre. My singing sounds like a cat that is trying to make it to the side of the road after a car runs over its tail and my dancing looks like there's a spider crawling on my leg and I'm trying to make it get off of me. My artistic skills are limited to stick figures and if I try anything to do with sports I turn red and sweat and become a puff fish while breathing like my cat when my little sister picks him up. 

Me and my older sister are two completed different people and I hate it how people just expect us to be the same. 

And if one more person tries to compare me to my older sister I'm going to slap them in the face. 

About my little sister... I have a rant to write in the next chapter.