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We were all still walking forward, but ever so often would I catch Lori look off behind us. The ring of the gun was still fresh in our ears, and I couldn't pertain to who it would be.

"You still worrying about it?" Andrea asked, and when I turned around, most of the group had already stopped. So I did as well, whistling to the man who was farther front and returned back to see what the sudden chat was about.

But I didn't look at him, not directly.

"...It was a gunshot." I heard Daryl sigh, out before responding to her mumbling breath.
"We all heard it." He said, and now that had Lori look directly to him. "Why one? Why just one gunshot?" Feeling the sudden pressure on my own shoulder did I take a step back. Not wanting her stare to turn towards me. 
"Maybe they took down a walker."

"Please don't patronize me. You know Rick wouldn't risk a gunshot to put down one walker or Shane. They'd do it quietly." The heated release of air from Dixon had me look over towards him now. 

But I stayed silent. She is always like this, for every tense situation. "Shouldn't they have caught up with us by now?" Carol asked Daryl, and again, our new found leader couldn't take it anymore. Cutting her off within the second of finishing her last word.


"Nothin' we can do 'bout it anyway. Can't run 'round these woods chasin' echoes." My eyes planted towards my boots as Daryl took the second to think of what to say with another pleading mother on the case.

There are way too many people, too many unqualified people. I love Lori, and I know she can be...Herself, a lot. She shouldn't be out here, neither should Andrea or Carol.

"Same as we've been. Beat the bush for Sofia and Addie, work our way back to the highway." Even the name had me flinch now, it's been a long minute since we spoke names and I cannot stand clear of these releasing tears. "I'm sure they'll hook up with us back at the R.V." 

With that gentle push, did Lori find her way walking past me. But I couldn't find the motion in my feet to move, not when Andrea was looking for both Carol and me before speaking up.
"I'm sorry for what you're going through. I know how you feel." I smiled, but then frowned the moment my expression was away.

She doesn't, not at all.

Her trying to connect wasn't working, but it was for Carol...

For the most part I guess.

"I suppose you do. Thank you. The thought of her out here by herself...It's the not knowing that's killing me. I just keep hoping and praying she doesn't wind up like Amy." Carol spoke, and at first it was alright.

But the second she brought up religion and Amy, I was down for the count. The tear streamed down my eyes, and I moved away. Having Lori come to my side and take hold of my shoulder. 
With that I leaned down into her shoulder, letting it out for the first time today from what Carol had spoken.

"...Oh god...That's the worst thing I ever said." Carol apologized, looking at both Andrea and myself. But I just shook it off, removing myself from Lori's hold as I couldn't do this.

Crying meant I have no hope.

And I do, hope and faith are two separate things. In my mind, they are at least. "We're all hoping and praying with you, for what it's worth." She invited the invitation over to me as well, as she smiled with her. 
But there wasn't an ounce in me that is religious. Not even a damn drop.

"I'll tell ya what it's worth—Not a damn thin'...It's waste of time all this hopin' and prayin'...Cause we're gonna locate 'em girls, and they're gonna be just fine. Am I the only one zen 'round here? Good lord." He scoffed, moving forward past me. Then securing a position beside Glenn. 

I sighed. Although I'm not religious, I wouldn't take the account of scolding someone for having hope and faith. Especially since hope is all I'm going for right now, as well as Lori's arm over my shoulder that we began moving once more as she lead me through the thickets.

Another two hours have past, and when we took the rearing end did I know what was on Daryl's mind. He declared that we're heading back, but us allowing the girls to stay another night isn't in my book. But they won't let me go out alone right now, I'm going tonight.

My only risk is Dale, as well as Daryl is he decides to sleep in the back of the truck again.

My legs felt sore and the heels of my shoes began to burn with every step, but the lucky roundabout part was that we are almost back at the highway. And although my excitement to see if she returned while we were away is what is keeping me going.

I knew deep in the back of my mind that that isn't the case.

Not one bit.

"How much farther?" Lori asked, and to be fair I recognized the area. Just not how close in particular. And it was a good thing she asked, because I truly needed to know as well.

"Not much. Maybe a hundred yards as the crow flies." Nodding along did I keep my pace steady, blinking ever so often to keep myself awake. Along with the water bottle, taking a gentle sip every now and then.

Glenn looked like he needed some too, and he waterfalls the rest as I asked him to. I had another and we were almost back to base. "Too bad we're not crows." Andrea joked, stomping off with us.

But it felt like the given second since I've seen her. And looking around did I no longer have her in peripheral. So when a scream sounded, did I take the running leave in the direction. A walker, from what I can gather was clawing at her from the ground.

But just as I was about to take a slash, Daryl held me back.

And I could see why.

A god damn horse came out of nowhere, and the women above was swinging a base ball bat the water in question. "Lori! Lori Grimes." Who the hell is—
"I'm Lori!" My friend stated beside me, why would she—

"Rick sent me. You've got to come now...There's been an accident, Carl's been shot. He's still alive but you've got to come now. Rick needs you. Just come." 
My mouth gawked. My heart stopped. And the gentle push I gave Lori as she handed me her backpack to go saddle along with this mysterious figure before us. Another child was taken by this apocalypse.

Carl's been shot. 

And my mind completely blanked out to what is in front of me right now.

"Whoa whoa whoa. We don't know this girl. Ya can't get on that horse." By the anger it sounded like Daryl, but I couldn't stop staring towards the horse. Trying to find a pleading way around all this god damn heartache.

"Rick said you had others on the highway, that big traffic snarl?...Backtrack to Fairborn road. Two miles down is our farm. You'll see the mailbox. The name is Greene. Hyah!" She stated before riding off into the distance. Lori's back in place as it was no longer audible.

"Shut up," Daryl stated, shooting a walker before helping Andrea back to her feet. But I was still stuck in my position, my girl's gone, Sofia's gone. And now Carl? All he wanted to do was to help. 

With my hand bunched up into a fist did I wipe the ongoing tears and continued back towards the highway.



"...Shot? What do you mean shot?" Dale questioned, and I already planted myself onto the hood of a car. Crisscrossed and sipping the new bottle of water and chewing on my granola bar in silence.

"I don't know Dale. I wasn't there. All I know is this chick rode out of nowhere like Zorro on a horse and took Lori." Glenn explained, leaning against the car I was stationed at. 
The way he spoke, as nervous as he was. Become dumbfounded by the fact that he was so mesmerized by the women and not the situation. So I kept to myself, but Carol too stationed herself around me. 
Guess who feels popular.


"And you let her?" Dale asked, turning the attention to Dixon. Who was already mad as hell to begin with.

"Climb down out of my asshole, man. Rick set her. She knew Lori's name and Carl's." Once again, my hand found it's way to remove the tear streaming from my eyes. 


We can't catch a break, can we?

Dale's rundown of the situation turned to Andrea, she did have a close call from what I can remember after my mind went into complete shutdown. She looked mad as hell, and that was proven by the slamming of the R.V's door.

With my little meal finished, did I lean back down onto the windshield of the car. Trying to even my breathing enough to find the strength to get up.

"...I won't do it. We can't just leave." Carol stated, and that instantly had me look up from my position on the car to the rest of the group. Shaking my head at the initial thought. 


"Carol, the group is split. We're scattered and weak." I had to bite my tongue at what Dale was saying, I'm not fucking leaving. They have to pry me away if they think for a second—

"What if they come back and we're not here?...It could happen..." Carol's hope was keeping me sane at the moment, and relatively calm for the moment being.


"If Sofia and Addie found their way back and we were gone, that would be awful." Andrea shared, and for once in the given number of days.

Did she say something I can stand behind?

So for the first moment, did my pleading eyes go towards Daryl. And my mouth tried to hold the smile as I already saw him concocting a plan.


"Okay. We gotta plan for this. I say tomorrow mornin' is soon enough to pull up stakes. Give us a chance to rig a big sign, leave 'em some supplies...I'll hold here tonight, stay with the R.V." My hand turned into a fist as he offered to stay, and I scolded myself for not thinking he would.

"If the R.V is staying, I am too," Dale stated, and Carol took the initiative into thanking both of them verbal. I for one, am completely checked out at the moment. Haven't said a word since...

Andrea as well decided to stay, but the second Glenn pipped up to take the chance to stay. Dale shot him down. "Not you Glenn. You're going. Take Carol's car."
"Me? Why is it always me?" He claimed, and in truth it was. For rescuing Merle, and a bunch of other times that I can't denounce.

"You have to find this farm, reconnect with our people and see what's going on. But most importantly, you have to get T-Dog there. This is not an option..." Dale stated, pointing off to the man in question. Seeing him hunched over and a blanket over his shoulder when I'm still sweating bullets does not qualify as good health.

"...That cut has gone from bad to worse. He has a very serious blood infection. Get him to that farm. See if they have any antibiotics. Because if not, T-Dog will die, no joke." Dale finished, I again, frowned. I didn't know what to do with a blood infection, and I don't have anything more than random Advil and ibuprofen tablets at the bottom of my bag that won't help.

Not remotely.

My eyes suddenly went to Dixon, to find him far from his original spot had me panic. Until they landed on him right before the bike. Picking up the rags in complete disgust as they were filled with oil. The saddened look he gave me almost felt like an apology, but once I saw the bag. 

I knew what he meant.


"Keep ya oily rags off my brother's motorcycle...Why'd ya wait till now to say anythin'? Got my brother's stash..." He was clear in stating that it was his brother's, but we all know he takes in the little fun of it once in a while as well.

Well...Not recently...Considering I check his uh...His blood.

"...Crystal, X. Don't need that. Got some kick-ass painkillers. Oxycycline. Not the generic stuff neither. It's first class. Merle got the clap on occasion." The way he continued off nonchalantly was completely Dixon style. But my anger wasn't with him leaving, he knew to leave.

And he was right to. 

It was the fact he kept his brother's drugs, somewhere deep down he was going to use them. And I can't help that sinking feeling come in, the betrayal I felt when I found out what he did behind my back when we were together. 

So I sunk my head deep into my knees and breathed once more.

*


It was night time already, and I found myself setting the sleeping bag back into the trunk and setting myself up for a little rest before moving out. My flashlight and go bag at the ready, just needed to do this in silence and without the watchful eye of Dale.

"Ya awake?" My eyes fluttered open and betrayed me once again, so I nodded along as he stepped back on into his position, like he's earned his way back.

"I know that look, come on..."
"You need sleep, I'm a distraction," I said in a whisper, turning back into my thought of position as he let out a hefty side. 

"They were my brother's..."
"Cool. Don't care." Flatly stated, but the movement had me peek another eye open. And once I realized he wasn't budging, I shook my head and rested my entire body against the the frame.

"I've heard it all, from felons, from cons...If that's what you're into, Crystal? That's a bump up." He took the hit, deep too. As he shook his head in silence. 

"Haven't done anythin' for a while."
"No use lying, go to bed Dixon. I'm done talking." I couldn't tell if he was honest or not, and part of my job is to know when the suspect is telling the truth. But once he realized I wasn't going to say anything more, he removed himself from my truck.
"I'll be in the R.V, holler if ya need anythin'...Aight?" I didn't respond, but him repeating the question did I put a shitty thumbs up in response.

He was pissing me off.

"Yo Dale, Blake's in the bed over here...Keep an eye out will ya?" Dale didn't respond as far as I could tell. But I silently swore as Dale knew my location and whether or not to spy on me.

Now it's just the waiting game.

I looked at my watch for the past hour and a half, counting along with the seconds and minutes to the full hour. It was barely eleven o'clock, and with every peak up towards Dale. Was I afraid of getting caught.

But at 11:17 did I make my seemingly timed escape out of the truck's bed, and down to the highway's floor. Crouching to continue past the cars, but I couldn't do it. If I get lost and they can't find another person, it's all over.

"Dale?" I whispered up, shinning my flashlight the given ways up and he spotted me in the second with that. "I'm going out to look for—"

"Blake you can't—" He stopped in clear motion, perhaps he saw my expression, or maybe it was the set determination in my voice that had me conspire against him. "You can't stop me."

"Then take Daryl with you." I didn't speak, instead, I shook my head and pointed off my flashlight in the direction I'm going.


"I'll be back in two hours." Dale sighed, but there wasn't anything he could do. Everyone was almost asleep, Andrea was loading clips over and over again at the soldeum torchere that must be.

"Nah, we'll be back in two hours." The voice I swore at, looking back did I shake my head. And he too did the same. "Ain't no way ya goin' out by ya-self. Ya crazy? We'll walk the road...Shine some light in the forest, if they're out there now, it'll give 'em somethin' to look at." 

As he tried to walk past me, my hand met his chest as he bounced back. I am cranky, I'm armed. And I'm a mother looking for her daughter, and he has the idea of challenging me. 
"Listen, ya can hate all ya want. But ya can also hate while walkin' 'round too." He encouraged, so I walked on straight. Excepting the not so gentle push he gave. 

It was silent for a few moments, only until we were a ways away from Dale's ear did he make the chance to speak again. "I had Carol cryin' her heart out 'bove me, and I was thinkin' if ya were doin' the same with me there...then Andrea trying to load up 'em guns like she's makin' a livin'...Couldn't get no sleep anyhow." I sighed, not even thinking about the other neighborly guest in the R.V as well. 

"Hell ya goin' in the dark now anyhow...Unless ya eyes got better in the dark, this is crazy hun." Looking towards him did I just blankly give him a look, my eyes probably puffy as all hell. My frown deeply embedded itself on my face.

And above all else, I am angry. 
Angry with him.

"Come on B, ya anger didn't start with me till after I brought on those bags...It started when ya realized that everybody's got that look. Hell's wrong with those people? We just started lookin' and now they wanna move on." I huffed, putting my flashlight in a different direction. Letting a single tear escape through the cracks as I realized what this was.

Carl is the first priory over any other child.

All of a sudden we have to move and this is what happens? To leave Addie and Sofia out in these neck of the woods to go somewhere else?

"...Rory, these ain't the mountains of Tibet. It's Georgia. They could be holed up in a farmhouse somewhere." He calmly stated my name, but that only fueled me further. "...People get lost and they survive. It happens all the time...Hell, I was younger than 'em when I got lost. Nine days in the woods eatin' berries—" I sighed, stopping my moving feet as I couldn't take this any longer. This receptive speaking, he wasn't one to ramble on like this. He knew what he's doing, he wants me to talk.


"Yeah, last story I heard from you, Dixon. Don't need it repeated." I spit, and that set him back a few yards as he tried to recover. Or maybe remember even. "All I'm sayin' is ya girl's smart...just like her ma."

My emotions didn't allow me to react to the compliment, instead did I shake my head willingly enough to not accept it. "Ya ain't gonna hold no grudge on me cause I stopped ya from runin' after her...Right?...Right?" I didn't respond the first time, but the second I snapped. 

"Don't know what good I could've done," I admitted, but it'd be better than combing these woods in the dark right now. But he sided with his bow in one hand as he stepped closer, only making me step farther away. 

"I got a pretty clear idea, coulda gotten ya-self killed, or worse."

I shrugged that off, and replaced it with even more anger. This is why I didn't want him to sleep in the truck with me, and this is why I didn't want him to come.

"You want a fucking thank you? Is that it?" I challenged, stepping further into his face, and already did his bottom teeth begin to show. As much as he didn't want them to, but I knew exactly what buttons to press and how to do it.

"I want ya to put that petty bullshit behind us...I wanna hear that what happened in the CDC wasn't just—" He growled, but that right there caused a loud branch to snap in the given direction. And both of our flashlights took the turn into that one way.

With nothing on their way to try and eat us, I returned to walking forward. Leaving Daryl a bit behind me before he took his signature jogging technique to catch up with me.

"Listen, I'm real sorry." He started, but not having anything to follow through with that was a grave mistake. And I shook my head while pulling my flashlight in every other given direction that averted his own statue.

"About what? The CDC or everything?" I questioned, and the deep, possessive growl erupted within the moment. 

"Everythin'...Can't even remember half the shit that went down, but it's gotta count for somethin' that we're both here...now." This was the first nod in the god given while, and that allowed him to take the firm place beside me once more. Slowly calming our breaths instead of yelling at one another.

"Back at the church, when ya said...-"
"You...You called me a couple months, maybe even a year after we...Ended...Asking why I left, if I could come over..." I didn't look over, but the sound of his palm connecting to his face. He just didn't know how heavily I'm crying at the reliving thought of it all.

"Rory how—Why ya cryin'?" He stopped dead in his tracks as he placed his hand on my shoulder. But I threw it back over and stepped away, further away than before. And each advance he took, I moved further.

"...Because I almost went back...Look where we are, we lost both our loved ones and I can't look you in the eyes anymore...does this really count for something?" I questioned, but me waiting for an answer wasn't going to wait. Instead I took my flannel's sleeve and wiped my eyes once more, clearing the build-up of tears.

"It's cause of the CDC? Ain't it?...I'm sorry hun, I" He mentioned it once again, and I couldn't stand to look at him once more.

I continued to walk on forward, leaving him in my wake as I plow through the woods before me.


"If ya can look at me now, in the eye. And tell me ya don't feel a thin'. I'll leave. Never have to see me 'gain." I stopped dead in my tracks this time around, looking back to him and the distance I've made. But I didn't move, it was him who came to me. 
And this is when I finally looked, deep into his eyes to see how much he's hurting as well.
He's not drunk, and he's not swayed by any foreign substance in his body.

This is sober Daryl.

My Daryl.

With all the information in his eyes, I shook my head. Letting another two tears fall simultaneously after one another. "Why?! Why can't ya just look me in the eye and tell me to—"

"I just got you back...I lost Merle and now Addie...I can't lose you too." I cried, pointing off into the distance for one of my family members and in the other for the other. 

Still shaking my head in disappointment, how weak he makes me. But how utterly mad he does as well. 
"Why?" He continued to test, stepping forward once more. So closing eyes not to avoid his eye contact did his growl commence yet again.

"You know why."

My teeth were gritted, and I couldn't follow through with saying it.

I can't. 

I slept with him already and look how far I've come without calling it a mistake.

And here I am, calling it an actual given mistake.

"Think ya gotta spell it out for me hun." I laughed, I let the honest laugh. Along with holding my stomach at how forced it felt coming from my newly awaken voice.

"So you can throw it to me the next time I tell you I'm leaving? Rather save myself the trouble of that. But if you feel like you need to go? Fine..." I muttered, leaving his side again. 

"...Probably why you pushed me away in the first place." And instead of him reaching out and grabbing my shoulder. He runs before me and stops me, placing the extension of his bow out into the air and making me stop.

"Look what happened when I did, ya got a daughter, ya had a chance at somethin'...Where were ya gonna get with me huh? We'd be sittin' back at a campfire and wait for this shit to bury down." Another tear slipped down when he mentioned my daughter...Our daughter. But he's hurt me to much to tell him now, and besides. He'd go relentlessly crazy in searching for her then. 
He doesn't need that barring weight, and he never did when we were younger.

"It would've been better than being alone..." I cried, not even bothering to hide the fact anymore. He was just standing there, right before me. And it took everything in my power to stop me for the given few second, but I faulted.


I tackled him with a hug, stuffing my face into his hold. My mind was a mess. I could never forget the way he smelled, both of pine and dirt. Or his facial hair scratched up against my cheek. 

But what I really and truly craved, was the taste of the lingering tobacco that gave my addiction a spiraling twist. 

When his arms finally wrapped around my waist, his own breath was stuffed into my shoulder now. "I called ya when I was drunk?"
"...Yeah...Addie was already born..." I said, not daring to move from this hold he as around me. The intoxicating smell just pushing against me. 

Making me actually smile.
"Ya believe...That they're Merle's?" I nodded. Looking up to him for a split-second. But not wanting to share the fact that I test his blood. "Merle had coke on him...I only figured he had more."

"I-I-I swear I didn't—" My nod had him stop, and quick enough so that he regains the position once more. 
But once he kissed the top of my head, I knew it was time to move on.

"We good?" He questioned, and I shrugged.

"As good as we can be...I know I said no strings attached, but that was for me...Not to get attached. I've always been..." I felt his eyebrows crunch together as I confused him once more, and I shook my head. 
Far too close to the truth.
"I'll tell you another time..."

"Aight, better be worth it Rory." I shook my head, and he frowned once more. But nodded in understanding.

"You're the only one who's ever called me that...It...It's still...It's still a little weird." He understood, or so he claimed.

"Any other times when we saw each other before?" Looking up did I try and take a feel for when it actually happened. And there was that one particular night in question...

"Really want to go here tonight?"
"Already started cryin'...The both of us...Might as well." I shrugged, taking hold of a tree to steady myself and even my weight.

"...When I came back, back to Georgia. Joe gave me my job back, and a promotion." I looked to him to see if he was paying attention, and more so than I would have anticipated. "I managed the bar and the restaurant...Never was there at night because I didn't want to see you, that and because I was..." Motioning to my stomach did I achieve the slight 'ahh' sound from Dixon as he urged me to continue.

"...At the bar one night, one of my girls couldn't make it so I filled in...And there you were...With a new gang and a girl in your arms..." My eyes were getting fed up with crying, and as was my heart. 

And as much as I wanted to beat his ass for getting me pregnant, I cannot take his judgment on my parenting skills for our child. Not from him. And not now.

"...It was Jules...Merle came over, spotted me right away, didn't know what to do or how to say anything to me...Again, Addie was about a year old by now. She was at home with my mom, and I was working..." 
He shook his head at my story, and I don't know if that was because he didn't know what to say or he didn't like it.

"...You were still wearing your vest though, or maybe it was the actual jacket...I don't know. But it hurt, either way, you flaunting it around."

"I'm sorry..." My eyes expanded, even more so my eyebrows as I challenged the situation further.

"Oh you will be...Because when I was leaving that night, you spotted me in the parking lot. Mr.Daryl Dixon...Asking for sex, yet again...And look at me, I had the willpower to say no." But now I don't, the difference isn't much. Maybe the little bit of forgiveness, or the persuasion was larger when he actually knew me.

And knew my name.

"Christ hun. I'm so fuckin' sorry...Ya don't even know."
"I do, but I'm sorry too. I'm sorry that I left...I'm sure if I stayed we would've been more than just us sitting on a log before a campfire." He shook his head, about to speak. But the moment he was about to, another snapping of the branch commenced. And we both darted our attention in that particular ways. 


"Addie?! Sofia?!" I questioned, but there was no given answer. Making us both continue forward, cautious at that. We were so loud with our yelling and screaming that I'm surprised we aren't seeing any...Walkers...

We were entering another camp, much like before. But this had a much stable outlook for this poor past person. "What the hell?" Daryl questioned, pulling his flashlight up to the hanging man above us. 

"'got bit. Fever hit. World gone to shit. Might as well quit.' Dumbass didn't know enough to shoot 'imself in the head. Turned 'imself into a big swingin' piece of bait. And a mess." I huffed out, laughing at myself and the fact he changed into this funnier character of himself. 

"I'm going to check the tent," I told him, and with that did I shine my flashlight into seeing a nice rifle just leaning again the cot the hunter had. I sighed, taking hold of it and throwing it over my shoulder. 


What a shame. 

Everything else was pointless, a radio, a lamp. Nothing we don't have already or can find again on the highway. 
"Find anythin' useful?" Motioning to the rifle on my back earned me a smirk.

"This is the closest it's been to food since he turned. Hangin' up there like a big piñata. The other geeks came and ate all the flesh off his legs." I rolled my eyes. "Having fun Dixon?"


"Huh...Let's head back...We'll start 'gain in the mornin'." I was confused, and when he noticed I wasn't following. He stopped, and me pointing upwards had him scoff.

"Nah, he ain't hurtin' nobody. Ain't gonna waste an arrow either. He made his choice. Opted out. Let 'im hang." I sighed. Still staring at the damn walker, it caught my eye for some reason.

If I found my daughter...Like this...Wanting to chomp on my flesh. I don't think I can...

"Ya comin' or what?" I didn't respond, well physically I couldn't. And there was not a reasonable reason to say this either. 
"Any question. An answer for an arrow...And if you want, I'll even get the arrow back." He took the moment into consideration, waving his flashlight to and from for a moment. 

"Any question?" He warned, and I knew what this pertained. Open to anything.

"Yes." I nodded as well.

"Got two in mind though." Motioning to them both did he walk in closer to me. Both of our lights shining down on our feet as he looked deep into my eyes.

"Did...Did ya ever...Fuck Shawn?" The name came in like a hurricane, it felt like the wind was knocked out of me.

"No...I didn't...I couldn't do that to you." He nodded, but his eyebrows getting scratched together made me question it. 

"We're ya happy with Addie's father?" My handheld my mouth as I tried not to react this way. In truth, I was always happy with her father, but in his mind it was Toby. And it pained him to see it.

"I was happy...But something in me knew it'd end too." It seemed like the best approach, and for now, I will lie and apologize for them later. 
He seemed alright with my answers before he fired the arrow up to the head without an inch out of place.
Dead center.

But here was the fun part he was expecting. "Wanna give me a hoist up?" He threw over his bow in the instant, cuffing his hands together to make a platform for my feet to hold onto as I reached towards the first steady branch. 

Yanking out the arrow did I take the prize and jump on down with it. Landing right by his side did I clean the blood off onto my dirty tank top.

"Got any questions for me? Been buggin' ya this whole time." I sighed, guess I can't get out of this lie. And with that did I give the arrow back and step away. "B..."

"Took too much shit for tonight Dixon...Besides, I know most of it." I balanced my arms out, wanting him to feel the fear in his heart of what I know and don't know.

"How the hell do ya—"

"I gave you an extra one, you're pushing it." I don't know where we stand now. I came into these woods mad at him, and now pressured into asking him a question. Christ, there were so many things back then I could've asked. But now when the opportunity has come, I can't find anything to question him about. 
I know about Rachel because she told me, Jules was the obvious one. And everything else pertained to being too close to comfort in knowing who Addie's father truly is.

"Why'd you run away into the woods?" I asked, taking a deep breath before and after I answered the question. And he swore up to the air.

"Fuckin' bastard. Should've known that ya and 'im were-" With both hands offering out, did I try my best. And even the littlest effort made him calm down. 


"I thought I could escape...The nightmares were bad B...I couldn't...I couldn't get ya outta my mind...And this is probably answering the thousand other questions but I tried replacin' ya. Didn't fuckin' work." I nodded along, even Merle said he turned heartless. And that was when I was five months pregnant, when Merle initially found out.

"Any more questions ya got? Times almost runnin' out till we get on back." I thought of one, but this was the extreme. So I stopped walking because I too needed to see his eyes in this. And he understood within the second of enacting it. "Do you think she's alive? Honest. You have to be honest."

"Course I think she's alive, that lil girl can handle herself better than some of 'em back in our group...She can take down a walker, skin a squirrel. She's more equipped than I was when I was out in the woods by myself." I smiled at that response. Determined to provide a positive response, but he also made it practical. Listing the things she has on her. 

In the end, I was sure that it was a waste of time. Going out there, arguing. It was another bust and I couldn't think of a better reason than going to bed after this. "I'll sleep in the R.V 'gain if ya want." I didn't know how to respond to it, so instead, I shook my head. 

"This time no bedtime story." I chuckled, mazing my way through the cars and whatnot. To be greeted by both Dale and Carol up above the R.V's roof.

I waved off towards Daryl before settling down into the truck once again, and this time Dixon followed. Sliding in without ease. "Ya...Ya heard what I said last night?" His voice echoed when he enacted the conversation, but then turned into a whisper. However, I was already down onto my sleeping bag and didn't bother looking at him with that.

"Yeah, some of it. Unless you went throughout the night...I'm trying to forgive and forget Dare, I really am. I need time."
"Then I'll give ya time, but I can't stop tryin' either, made that clear before." Rolling eyes did I rest deeper into my bag and curl up beside it.

This time he didn't move me, but he still somehow managed to figure a way past my rule. And that was to lie beside me. "You're relentless," I mumbled, entirely exhausted.

"Ya used to call me persistent...If ya remember that." My chuckled echoed for a moment, or perhaps that was my own mind who thought that outright. 
"Night Blake."

"Night Dixon...Please try and get some sleep." I ordered, and he did the subtle 'yes ma'am' before becoming utterly silent.

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Date Posted: 08-31-18 // Time: 5:29

Word-Count: 6391

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Another heartbreaking chapter to write, but at least they let out some steam.