I was in a bright place I didn't recognize, and heard noise I'd never experienced.

However once my eyes adjusted and managed to take in the sight, I found it was... beautiful.

Bright, warm, golden colored sand was beneath my feet as the individual grains found their way in between my toes. And the sound that had previously been so jumbled, I now recognized the source as the big, clear, blue waves lapping against the shore.

I didn't know how I got here, nor how this all seemed so familiar since not once in my life had I been to a beach. However, as I continued to take in every detail- the salty fresh smell, the humid air that seemed to hug my skin, and the light wind that wrapped itself around me- I felt a sense of deep peace wash over me. Like I was... safe. Truly safe, for the first time in a long, long time. I felt like all of my burdens, all of my guards, pain, anger, fear, all of it could be let go of as I relaxed myself into the scenery. As I became part of it. Just a human sitting near the waves and listening to the sound in a tranquil state.

But of course, it didn't last.

The sound cut quickly, as if someone paused it from a recording on a phone. It caused me to open my eyes out of curiosity, but after doing so, a gut wrenching feeling overtook me as I deeply wished I had just kept them shut.

There in front of me was my father. The same black hair as my own, the same blue eyes as well, but there was an expression on his face- a hard cruelness in his eyes- that I hoped I never, ever, shared with him.

"What the hell have you done now you little brat!? Slacking at work again!? You pathetic piece of shit!"

His voice echoed in the black void the two of us shared, and even with how I tried, the walls from before I had spent years- nearly two decades- to build were still down from before in my one moment of peace. And as a result..

I felt scared.

My anger, my hatred, my brave facade and stone mask I had all built left without a trace as once again, I was that small scared boy huddled in a corner with my mother bruised and sobbing and my father seething with rage I knew I had in me too.

"I... I-I'm sorry! I'll do better!"

I was trying to get away, but I couldn't move. There was a sludge holding me down that I couldn't walk in as he seemed to get closer and closer to me without even trying.

Why can't I walk!? Why can't I run from this!?

I wanted to get away. Away from this terror, this pain holding me captive, this agony causing me to shiver as my father's voice echoed around me. It was consuming everything, my thoughts, my soul, my very being.

I was drowning in it.

Just let me get away from this. It's too much. It hurts too much!

Yet as my eyes closed again as every sensation I had ever pushed down crawled on me from the sludge rising up to my neck, everything stilled, and a soothing voice spoke to me in a whisper as that calm rushed through me again.

My eyes peaked again in bewilderment from the constant change, and hesitancy at if it was over. And in result, I found my Emily staring back.

Soft eyes I knew so well, her hand warm as it touched my cheek. Yet, as she spoke, I knew the voice wasn't her own.

It's time to stop running. Give your fear no further hold over you. Allow yourself to heal, not harbor, little lamb.

I woke with a start immediately after the words were said, adrenaline pumping through me along with confusion from the emotional dream.

I had never heard that voice before, where did it come from? And.. why was I at the beach? It all felt so real, so detailed, even though I shouldn't have any idea what an experience like that would be like.

Oh my head was pounding. Everything was so odd, so confusing, so much.

I had dreamed about my father again for the first time in years, his image crystal clear. Why was I so terrified? Why did it feel so much worse than the ones in my past? Like it was consuming me?

Ugh... then there was Emily.

No nightmares of her pain or her terrors, no horrible wedding moments either like the previous one that repeated. It was just... her. Only it really wasn't. Someone else had been speaking. Something else that was the same thing that made my walls come down to begin with.

It was something.... alarming.

Nothing ever before in my life could make those walls break so easily. I couldn't even break them! So how did one moment, one sensation, cause everything to completely crumple?

I didn't like it. I didn't like how it had felt. That one minute may have been wonderful, but the minute after was what made it completely dangerous.

Ah yes, that must have been why it was so bad seeing my father, I didn't have protection against him. I wasn't guarded in my usual armor.

That moment of peace had, left me defenseless and raw with a monster ready to destroy me.

Which meant I couldn't let it happen again. I would just forget about that stupid dream, and that ridiculous feeling.

Although, even as I tried, even as I attempted with all my might, there was still one thing I couldn't bring myself to push aside. One feeling, one urge. Pulling me, pushing me, telling me again and again what it wanted as it guided me with the powerful yearning that overpowered every excuse and fear I had felt for two months.

I needed to see Emily again. I may not have known why, but that much was clear. It was the one thing that came of that dream I couldn't push aside. The desire to see her, the strength to see her that suddenly filled me.

So, I'd make sure I did it. First thing the next morning.