The ride back to Cair Paravel felt longer than usual, but we were fortunate enough to make it hours before dawn. I saw the stag had been caught while we were warming up by the fire. It was brought on horse by the hunt servants who then proceeded with the unmaking, for which Lucy got as far away as possible and Edmund and Lord Peridan went over to partake in. However, I was far too preoccupied with staying warm to bother asking who had won, so I dedicated myself to keeping warm and focused on listening to the hedgehog's (whose name was Throbblehead) retelling of how he saw Lady Danielle and I go into the river and then alerted Peter of what had happened.

I spent nearly an hour by the fire trying to warm up, but try as I might, my feet remained cold and I couldn't stop shivering. Danielle sat on the opposite side of the fire with my cousin. She kept stealing glances at me as if she wanted to say something, but she never did. A thank you would have been nice.

Meanwhile, Peter and Darren decided we'd share our earlier catch (the rabbits and the birds) with the hedgehog and his friends as thanks for their assistance. I said we out to invite the River Nymph (whose name I didn't catch) but she had disappeared before we got a chance to thank her. Our catch was cooked for lunch and soon enough Lucy and Lord Roy were having lunch with us.

"How're you feeling?" Peter asked once I had finished my piece of rabbit meat, bread and cheese.

"Better, I'm just tired," I replied. The adrenaline rush had worn off and now I was just feeling exhausted. Exhausted and cold. I remember Peter once told me how he and his sisters had fallen into the Great River on their way to Aslan's camp, he probably understood how I felt.

Peter nodded and then turned to look at Edmund and Lord Peridan, who were still busy with the unmaking. Chatting and having a laugh and just enjoying the day.

"Alright, we're leaving," Peter said grunting a bit and then stood up.

"What? I thought we were waiting for them to be finished," I said, looking at Edmund and company.

"We said so, yes, but you're just sitting here cold and tired while everyone else is having a good time," he said looking at Edmund who was now bothering Lucy with the entrails of the stag. She shrieked and hid behind Lord Roy, pushing him towards the bloody mess and earning a complaint. "This hunt is over, the only thing you will catch is a cold if we stay out here any longer. We can go ahead the four of us," he said pointing at my cousin and Danielle, "and allow Edmund and Lucy and everyone else to have a good time,"

"Well, I like your plan," I stood up and wrapped my arms around him. He's always warm, like my personal fireplace.

"You're freezing," he replied wrapping his arms around me. "Come on, let's get you home,"

Danielle and Darren agreed almost at once to Peter's plan. He asked Lucy if she wanted to come with us, being most concerned about her safety, but she was having such a good time with Lord Roy and Peridan and Edmund she decided to stay and return with the boys.

So, we bid the Narnians farewell, told Edmund to be back for dinner, and rode back to Cair Paravel.

"What happened?" Susan asked as soon as we dismount.

"They fell into the river," Darren says, helping Lady Danielle off her horse.

"You what?!"

"I did not fall," I protest immediately. The first thing people hear is the version that sticks around, whether it be true or false.

"Right, you jumped voluntarily," Peter says smugly.

"And heroically. Don't forget that," I add and he chuckles.

Susan just stares at us confused.

"I fell into the river and Queen Imira saved me," Danielle says unexpectedly.

"Oh," Susan says, taken aback by the information. "That is... quite something. Are you both alright?" she asks turning to me.

"We're not floating under the ice, so... yes,"

"Right. Where's Lucy and Edmund?" she asks Peter.

"They're in the wood with everyone else," Peter informs her. "They're perfectly fine,"

"That's good," Susan says, relieved.

"Yes, yes, it's all lovely. Can we talk inside?" I ask impatiently. There is no reason to stay out here when we have a perfectly comfortable and warm castle a few feet away from us.

Servants approach me and Lady Danielle to hand us some very appreciated blankets while Peter and Darren update Susan on what happened.

"Your Majesty?" Danielle approaches as I thank a dwarf for a cup of hot tea.

"Yes?" I ask between sips.

"I just wanted to thank you. I did not say it earlier, but I do not know what I would have done if you hadn't saved me," you would have drowned, that's what you would have done, "so thank you. I am eternally grateful,"

Huh. How about that? I might not like her, but I can't deny how heartwarming that is to hear. Especially from her. I suppose there is no need to be rude to her now if she is going to be nice. Perhaps me saving her life will incline her to be less annoying in the future.

"You are very welcome. I'm glad you're alright," I reply and hand the now empty teacup to Amelea who has finally arrived and we head upstairs.

"Did she just thank you?" she as we head upstairs.

"I believe she did,"

"How unexpected. What happened during the hunt that changed her character so much?"

"I saved her life," I reply casually.

"You did what?!"

"She fell into the icy River Rush and I saved her. The river nymph may have played a small part in it, but without me, Lady Danielle would be floating under the ice by now," The nymph wouldn't have shown up if I hadn't asked the River Gods, right?

"You mean to say you could have gotten rid of her today and you chose not to?"

"I wasn't going to just let her drown. That would have been dishonourable. And besides, she owes me her life now. That ought to stop her pesky comments and snarky remarks,"

"I suppose that'll do it,"

"What are you doing? We are going to be late for the banquet," Peter asks while as I lay in our bed with the two princes. I have had a hot bath and a change of clothes, the only thing I wish for is a peaceful evening.

"I am appreciating my life," I reply, sitting up promptly and picking up the closest child to hand him to Peter and pick up the other.

"That's always nice. But we are going to be late for dinner,"

"We can't be late for our own banquet. That's the entire point of having your own banquet," I replied, dodging a baby slap to the face. Wearing earrings wasn't such a good idea after all. Baby Peter loves shiny objects.

"We can when we're not the only King and Queen in attendance," Peter replies and we all start heading for the doors.

"You are the High King," I remind him.

"I am aware," he laughs.

"Can't I sit this one out? Saving a life is very exhausting," I reply dramatically. "I'd rather have dinner here and spend some time with our sons,"

"I know you're tired but you'll want to come to this one, trust me,"

"Can I ask you something?" he says after we've left the twins in their room.

"Of course,"

"Why did you jump in the water? You don't even like her,"

That's just... disappointing. Just who exactly I'm disappointed at, me or him, I am not sure, but I'm definitely disappointed.

Does he think I'm petty enough to let someone drown in front of me simply because I dislike them? Is that what everyone thinks? That I'm so indifferent to those I do not like that I would let them die? Because if that's what everyone thinks then surely I have been doing something wrong. I am not like that. Not at all. And I don't want people believing I am. Especially Peter. That's just... upsetting.

"Do you really think I'm so self-centred and shallow to just sit there and watch her drown?" I ask him, uttering the words very carefully.

"What?" He asks wide-eyed. "When did I say you were self-centred and shallow?"

"You didn't have to say it, you implied it," I reply, crossing my arms.

"I didn't imply anything!"

"Then what did you mean by your question?" I ask a bit annoyed. Again, not sure who I am annoyed at. Probably at myself for giving him the impression that I am.

"I meant that what you did, although very daring, was extremely dangerous. Do you realize how close you came to drowning today?"

Hmmph, yes but I don't want to answer that. "It wasn't that close," I mutter, looking at the wall behind him.

"It was very close! When we pulled you out and you weren't breathing... that was one of the scariest moments of my life. Do you realize that? Imira, you could have died. I don't want you to die,"

Okay okay, I see his point, I was rash and it was stupid, but what was the alternative? And besides, nothing happened.

"Neither do I," I reply.

"Good. Then you need to start thinking things through," he says, placing his hands on my shoulders.

"I do think things through,"

"Not enough," I hate it when he's right. "Look, I know you're brave and chivalrous and all those good knightly qualities, and that is perfectly fine, one of the many things I love about you, but you are the Queen. You can't just go risking your life like that. It's alright to ask for help. You are just one woman, not an army, you can't do it all. I don't expect you to. Just... think things more carefully before you choose to endanger yourself. There is no need to be so rash. You don't have to prove anything to anyone,"

You don't have to prove anything to anyone. That last sentence was like a punch to the gut, bringing back the memory of my mother saying the exact same thing years ago.

I was about nine or ten years old at the time and I had badly scratched my knee whilst trying to keep up with James, Dean and Darren. I was always the slowest, always the weakest, and for that, I kept pushing myself harder and harder.

"You shouldn't have jumped off that tree," mother said as she poured some water on the cut.

"But they dared me to," I replied, crying a bit.

"And if they dared you to jump off The Wall, would you do it?" mother asked.

"I... no," I replied with a furrowed brow. "But Jamie did it, I had to do it,"

"Why?"

"Because they had to see I could do it as well," I whined.

"You don't have to prove anything, Imira. Not to your brother, not to your cousins, not to anyone," she replied, brushing a strand of loose hair from my face. "Now how about some cake?"

I guess subconsciously that's what I've been always trying to do. All my life I've been trying to prove myself worthy by doing wild things. Whether it'd be jumping off a tree, stealing a chicken, going east to look for a dragon, insulting the witch to her face, fighting a battle whilst pregnant, or jumping into a freezing river, in my own weird way I have been trying to prove I am worthy of... my life? I suppose I should stop now, but breaking a bad habit is difficult.

"And if you had to," Peter continues, "you've already done so more than enough times. You are already pretty astounding," he said and then gave me a kiss. "Just tone down the rash actions and you'll be golden,"

"That's like asking Edmund to stop with the sass," he laughs, "But I'll try. If I keep doing stupid things like this, I'll never make it into my thirties,"  

"It'd be a bother having to remarry," 

"Hey!" I protest, punching him in the arm. 

"I'm joking, I love you," he replies with a cheeky grin. 

"You better," 

Whenever there's a banquet Peter is required to give a small speech or say a few words before we can eat. He hates that part. As if he didn't have enough pressure every day with ruling an empire, he also has to deal with the pressure of everyone's eyes on him before dinner, just waiting to see if he makes a mistake. 

Today's short speech comes to him easily and he talks about, well, he talks about me and how I bravely jumped in the river to save Danielle. His speech makes me feel nice and reinforces his previous message about not having to prove myself worthy all the time. It's nice to feel good about myself without the burden. I did something good, I should be able to celebrate. He's right, I did want to come. But he could have given me a warning. I get teary-eyed when I'm too happy. 

"You could have at least given me a warning," I mutter under my smile once he has taken his seat. 

"Here's yur warning, it's not over yet," Peter replies in the same manner while the court claps. 

"What?" 

And it wasn't over indeed because Edmund and Darren made a little speech about how I was a "true hero" today and inspired them to put their squabble aside and named me the winner. 

A winner? No no no, I am not a winner. I killed one lousy rabbit, they killed a stag. 

"I am not a winner, I didn't do anything!" I whisper to Peter once everyone starts eating and the fuss over me dies down a bit.

"I told them not to do this but you did save Lady Danielle's life," he says. Well, I'm not a winner on that front either!I didn't do it alone, that's not the complete truth and we both know it. 

"That's not entirely how it went down," I reply. 

"I am aware. But there's no point in denying it now. Not without making us all sound like liars," 

"You didn't lie, they did," 

"Not intentionally. And besides, what you did was a good thing. You should feel good about it," 

Yes, but ... "I can't feel good about it if half of what people believe is a lie," I protest. "I-I can't be here," I place my napkin on the table and attempt to get up, but Peter stops me discretely. 

"You can't leave and you know it," he's right, everyone's looking. "Just finish your meal. Then we'll go," 

I was hungry comming in for dinner, but now even the wine tastes bitter as I endure the occasion with a fake smile. I know Darren likes to exaggerate a bit his stories for dramatic purpose, and Peter and Edmund probably thought it would make me feel good, but I just feel uneasy. I can't feel good about myself anymore. I was lying to myself earlier and now without meaning to I have lied to the entire court. And now I'll have a stag's head mounted on my wall to commemorate the lie. And all because I couldn't share the credit. Bloody perfect. 

Almost as soon as I have finished eating I excuse myself saying I am tired and Peter escorts me back. 

"I just feel awful about all that. I'm not a hero. Sure, I helped save Danielle's life, but I didn't do that alone, I had help. I should have said so, but I'm so prideful. I did not do anything extraordinary. In fact, I didn't do much at all. I... I don't deserve this. I shouldn't have exalted myself so much in my retelling of the story. I was stupid and prideful and-and, ugh, this is all a mess. The River Rush naiad is the one who deserves all the praise, she saved us both. I shouldn't have downplayed her role, she is the true hero in this. And sure, the praise and adoration is wonderful, but not when I don't deserve it. I just did the decent thing by not letting her drown. I don't even like her!"  

"I know," he sits down as I ramble on and on. 

"And that's awful! I pretend to be this nice wonerful person but then I go speaking ill behind her back with my friends. I just feel guilty now, I cannot possibly enjoy this celebratory mood everyone's in. Why, oh, why did I have to brag so much and claim the heroics as my own?" I ask covering my face with my hands for a second. "And then you, Edmund and Darren exalt me even more! How can I possibly be okay with everyone thinking I did something I did not? And now they're calling me... did you hear what they were saying? Queen Imira The Great. I don't feel great, I don't even feel mediocre,"

"I understand," 

"How can you understand? You're High King Peter The Magnificent. You're perfect in everyone's eyes," 

"But I'm not. And I'm not Magnificent," he exclaims and I can see he also has to vent. "I've never felt magnificent. They say I defeated the White Witch, but I didn't. That title feels more like a constant burden than anything. And every day I must live up to it. All I really wanted back then was to protect my family. And I couldn't even do that! Edmund nearly died. And then I was handed this kingdom to protect. I am grateful for everything I have, but sometimes it feels more like a burden than a blessing," He rests his elbows on his knees and his head on his hands and I can see how much of a burden this really is for him. He's good at hiding it and doesn't like me to see it, but it's there. It's too much for him, he needs help. And it is me who must help him. 

"I'm sorry for being such a dramatic mess," I say, sitting next to him so I can rest my head against his shoulder. "When you put it like that I'm just being stupid," 

"Not at all," he says straightening a bit. "It is difficult. The position we find ourselves in is very complicated, but if something's bothering you you have to tell me. You can talk to me, you know?" 

"I know, but I also know you've got a lot going on. I don't want to distract you with my problems," 

"You can distract me all you want," he says, nudging me a little. 

"It goes both ways, you know," I say after a while. "If you need me to help you with something, you can say so," 

"I know," he replies, taking my hand. "Just remember you don't have to prove anything to anyone, alright?" 

"Your advide goes both ways," I remind him. 

He nods. "And hey, if they want to call you Queen Imira The Great, just let them. You did help save her life and you are pretty great," he says, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. 

"And you are pretty magnificent," I reply looking up at him. 

He laughs a bit. "Oh, shut up," 

"Make me," I reply in a completely different tone to our conversation. 

He immediately catches on. "Oh, I can make you shut up. I can also make you scream my name. Your choice," 

"You're so wicked," I reply laughing. 

"You started it,"