[a/n: the fic's a slow burn fic, so don't expect larry happening any time soon. hehe~]   //edit: whyyy? Leave it on N to be world's biggest dickhead. Stoopid author blehhh!//

//past//

L O U I S

next morning wasn't any different from the previous day. louis was still feeling the dull ache of betrayal in his heart, however, he wasn't going to break anymore. after so long, he was sure what he wanted to do. he isn't going to sit back and get insulted anymore. he'll change for his best.

still groggy from the slumber, he sat up on the bed, fingers carding through his bed hair. much to his joy, it was weekend and he doesn't have to go to school and see those horrible people, live through those pitiful glances and gossips about how he was played like a fiddle.

what did they get from this? what did harry get by doing this? just thinking about it made his head throb with pain. rubbing his temple, he got off the bed and made his way to the washroom. his reflection in the mirror made him cringe. his eyes were swollen, had bag under them, hair was greasy and matted against his forehead. he did look horrible. "ugh, life!" he groaned. however, it wasn't really the time to moan over life or give himself a pep talk in front of the vanity mirror. it was time to get ready and talk to his dad about his future plans.

after he was done showering and changing into clean clothes, he made his way downstairs. there were some maids flittering around, dusting and cleaning. he didn't even feel like greeting them back when they wished him 'good morning'. when he reached the kitchen, he was disappointed to find no one in there. he could hear his sisters giggling and playing in the patio, so he peeked out and smiled. however, his father wasn't with them.

with a huff, he walked out of the kitchen to find his father. he has to be in his home office or his bedroom. just to make sure, he decided to ask the maid about his father's whereabouts. "um," he trailed off as he remembered he didn't know her name. what a pain. "uh, excuse me?"

"yes, mr. louis." the girl smiled politely at him.

why do they address him as mister? that is so annoying. shrugging it off, he smiled back. "do you, um, do you know where dad is?" he asked hesitantly.

"mr. tomlinson is in his home office."

"uh, thank you." he mumbled quickly and made his way towards the home office. he knocked twice, keep it quite restricted, and backed away from the door. there was a faint word of approval from his dad and he entered.

"you don't—

"i don't want to go to school for a while, dad."

it caused mark to raise his head, a bit too swiftly that it made louis flinch away. he tried to study his son's face if there was any sign of joking. "is it about the harry guy? don't worry, son. you know i'm friends with your principal and i can always get him expelled—

"no!" louis protested quickly, his eyes wide. no matter how much harry and his friends had hurt him, he could never do this to harry. or to anyone. "just- uh, just i need some time..." he trailed off, seemingly, unsure. "to process?"

"do you want to switch to online classes for a while?" mark offered with a little, friendly smile. "louis, i don't want you to miss on your studies because of some insensitive people. you are not less than anyone, son."

louis closed his eyes, feeling his tears, he never thought such thing would ever come from his dad. hesitantly, he gave him a nod. "just for the left bit of the term." which wasn't a lot. he would do fine— his grades were great, his teachers were happy with him.

"i will talk to your principal."

well, it was easy. now, the next thing.

"can i, um, also, go away for a while?" he let out a shaky breath. this was a big step for him. he had never moved out from the comfort and luxury of his home. not that it would a big issue. he knew his dad would provide him with best services and comfort wherever he decides to go. but what about the sweet, comforting presence of his sisters? his family?

"where? why?" mark asked concernedly.

"i just... just uh, want to be away from this place for a while. um... please?" his voice cracked as he spoke up. it was weird crying in front of his dad. embarrassed, he looked away and cleared his throat.

"you know, you are an extremely pampered child? sorry to- son, it's just... would you be able to handle the 'world'?" mark gave him a pointed look, fiddling with the pen anxiously.

was his dad implying that he was brat? he was no brat. he just enjoyed his luxury and comfort. that's not what a brat is.

"of— of course!" of course, he would stutter in the least expected moment. blush rose on his cheeks as he was flustered by the indirect accusation of being a brat— (which he obviously is not!)

he heard mark sigh heavily, almost tired. "sure. where?"

yes!

"london."

-

days turned into weeks and it has been a month since louis had stop going to high school. his dad had agreed to send him to london. he was so grateful that his principal had actually made an exception for him. he doesn't know if it was because of his father's money or his grades, he was just relieved to be away for a while. though it did come with some consequences, he won't be able to see his sisters and friends for a while. however, it was his time to change some stuff for himself and others, to power through those horrible memories.

it was two days before louis had to leave, when he received a phone call he never thought of. it took everything in him to ignore it and just lay motionlessly on his bed. as his phone kept vibrating on his nightstand, the slightly cool breeze that flew past his windows and curtains made him shiver. the vibration became annoying, brought unexpected tears that stung his eyes.

"shut up!" he whisper shouted, throat hurting from getting tightened.

but it didn't. harry kept calling him. why? why now? to laugh? to tell him how gullible he was? god, he knows. he does not need a reminder.

"what?!" he almost yelled in his phone as he received the call. he was being answered by a heavy silence, apart from a little sigh of relief? why?

"not up for your bullshit!" he spat out, wiping the stray tears. harry's silence was irritating, getting under his skin— why wasn't he talking? why'd he call?

"fuck you, you know? fuck you!" he gritted out, rolling off his bed as he started to get worked up, feeling the rage coursing through his veins. "you want to laugh? you want to boast about how easy i was? do it already!"

still no answer.

"i don't even know why i picked your call, harry. i don't know why you called me in the first place. i don't know why you are not talking. guess, i don't even need answers." he felt like a loser. "the only thing i know is all you've given me is pain." his tone dropped from being angry to being absolutely despaired. "should've expected it. how stupid of me to think someone like you can be friends with someone like me." he let out a hollow chuckle. "you are disgusting. you are filthy. you are a liar. and i— uh, i hate you so much!"

with tears slipping down his eyes, he looked out of his window, gazing the sky filled with stars. directly venting out his anger to harry felt relieving, yet he was not satisfied because of the lack of any response. "lies, lies and just lies. did it not burn your lips? not even once? do you not have a heart?" a little sob pushed past his lips as he leaned against the window, shaking and broken.

"fuc— fucking say something, harry..." he whispered brokenly. "i really hate you!"

his eyes widened a bit when he heard the other lad take a shaky breath. was harry crying? why would he?

"you must be at peace, right? your ego must be at peak— knowing you broke me?" he tried to provoke again, angry tears still rushing down his face. he gazed the sky, the twinkling stars with agonised eyes. why does everything and everyone gets to be happy when all he has been going through is pain? "don't like it— i do not like it, harry!" he cried painfully, harshly gripping the window pane. "you hurt me so much. and yet, you get live so happily!"

"what did i do?! what is so wrong with me?! what is it about me that made you play with me?!" finally. finally, he got his chance to ask his questions that had been burning his chest for days now. if and only if harry would answer him.

"look at the sky, the stars— so bright, so lively— when all i had been feeling is misery, at loss." louis wanted to scream, aching to hear anything from harry. "what is it, huh?" he whispered tiredly. "shallow, aren't you? making friends and playing with people's emotions just 'cause of their appearance?" he wished his words somehow sting harry, pierce through his heart, hurt him the way he has hurt louis. little did he know it was actively and definitely working.

"it won't last forever, you know? today you broke me, tomorrow i'll be fixed." he hoped he made some sense to harry and wasn't coming out as a complete idiot. "it isn't the end of anything. life is full of uncertainties. the possibilities are endless." he murmured softly, still hoping harry would get what he was trying to say.

he blinked at the dark, vast sky, filled with stars splattered like paint on an unending canvas. ethereal, it looked. he spoke again, in a very soft tone, probably not even making any sense,

"the realm, the cosmos- it is endless."

and it happened. something that he had been wanting since the start of the call. however, harry's words only messed with him further.

"and i wished we were too."

and the line went dead.

-

it was finally the day he would be leaving for london. for the moment he woke up, he had been feeling weird and jittery. he was already getting homesick. however, he felt at ease when his friends showed up to spend time with him. not that he won't come back, but he is going to miss these people.

"you are really leaving, lou?" taylor sniffled.

louis chuckled and hugged her. "i'll be back for the next term. i'll be in touch with you guys. i think it is good for me if i stay away from the town for a while. and london's not too far, y'all can visit me anytime." he pecked her cheek.

"and where are you going to stay?"

"we have some estate there." he shrugged lightly, giving niall a side eye as the boy stepped a bit closer to him. "full of queries, aren't you now? huh, nialler?" he gave him a small, teasing smirk.

"what about your classes and tests, lou?" niall asked, ignoring louis' mockery. it was evident he was trying to hold back his tears and louis found it really adorable and funny at the same time.

"online. mr. jones is dad's friend. he understood the situation and made an exception for me." louis pushed taylor's hands away as she tried to squish his cheeks. "not cute, tay!"

"why, thank you! but i'm always cute, louis!" she grumbled with a pout.

"damn, you rich people!" niall joked half heartedly and hugged him tightly. "i'm gonna miss you." louis rubbed his back gently, smiling sadly. "i will miss you too."

although it was the day of departure and it has been two days since the feathery haired bloke had received that unexpected call from his bully, he couldn't shake off the weird feeling. the weird suffocating feeling harry's only statement left inside him. what did he mean? what exactly was his intention behind spewing such bullshit? was he still trying to confuse louis? but why?

endless, huh? harry wanted them to be endless? but why? they never even started anything, to begin with. however, he had no choice but leave all his questions behind. a revival does not need old, stale and devastating memories.

and when it was really the time to leave, louis felt like he was going to get sick. he had never left his home alone before this. with shaky legs, he walked out with his friends and sisters following him. it broke his heart when phoebe and daisy cling on him, crying softly. this is difficult than he thought. louis' dad was already waiting in the car. once the car's trunk was loaded with his luggage, his dad gestured him to get in.

with tears in his eyes, he turned to his friends and sisters and waved. "i love you all." he hugged each one of them extra tightly. he was going to miss them.

"lou if you want i can still beat him for you!" zayn chuckled.

he shoved his hands in his pockets and gave his friend a light shrug. "it's all good, zayn." he smiled softly. "it's all over."

although those words left nothing but a bitter taste in his mouth, he had no choice but to accept the reality. it was never meant to be. nothing ever started. nothing was going to be endless. 

and as he started to get in the car, daisy and phoebe to hug, they cried softly in his arms. they still didn't know anything about the incident. sometimes they would ask about harry and everyone would just lie. "we'll miss you."

he kissed their cheeks. "mhm, i'll miss you too." he waved at everyone for the last time, tearing up, before the driver started the car and pulled out of the long driveway. as the vehicle zoomed past the familiar streets of his town, he couldn't help but well uo. he is going to miss these streets. he is going to miss his friends. he is going to miss his friends. he is going to miss... him.

he closed his eyes, as more tears slipped down and leaned his head against the cool surface of window.

"endless, you said? i wished for it too."

-

"Like falling stars over you head,
We were bound to burn out, burn like crashing cars."
— David Archuleta

__________________________

25/08/2021

How was it?? Did you enjoy??

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🍄: how are y'all? doing good?

🍃: i messed up the theme of this chapter. something went wrong and now, i am scared N's gonna scold me lmao. hey! but it's not my fault, it's my phone's fault (i guess??)

— Catty <3

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(Unedited)

excuse my mistakes. i hope you liked the chapter x