o lord,
o merciful lord.

i pray to you every night,
to take the weight of this curse away,
for it to say goodbye.

and every night—
i wonder, o lord,
why am i greeted with silence?

and i wonder my lord,
a thought that seeks me so often—
Is this a test, or is it a punishment?

if a test, then promise me my lord
promise me death as a final gift

and if a punishment that you believe i deserve,
then promise me my lord,
promise me death as a release from this world.

just promise me death.

...

everyone is a sinner. does everyone get punished?