Aries: "I crashed my motorbike"

Taurus: "This idiot forgot to stop when I was crossing the road"

Gemini: "I'm here with my friend"

Cancer: "I was cooking soup for my mom and I spilled it all over me, now I've got a third degree burn"

Leo: "Someone called me ugly and I tried to punch them but I missed and hit the brick wall"

Virgo: "Um, I work here?"

Libra: "I had a panic attack"

Scorpio: "Someone pushed me down the stairs"

Sagittarius: "This old lady was on her motor scooter and she was going soooo slow so I told her to hurry up, then she ran over my foot"

Capricorn: "I was working really late 5 nights in a row and got sleep deprivation then I passed out"

Aquarius: "I was walking my mermaid, then she pushed me down a well and I found myself in Narnia"

Pieces: "I was concentrating and smashed into the wall, then got a concussion"