I held Poison's hips as he tangled his hands into my hair. He sat on my lap as I sat up against the AC unit.

"You know, you're getting pretty good at this whole kissing thing," he mumbled.

I smiled as he pressed his lips against mine again. His hips ground down slowly and that's when my brain seemed to function enough to grind to a halt.

"I should probably continue working on Bandit's dress," I said.

Poison pulled back and looked down at me.

"Oh, okay," he said.

He got off, sitting out beside me and I sighed.

"No, I'm sorry," I said. "This has been a really amazing past three weeks, it really has. I...just...you were my first kiss. So...you can assume that I haven't..."

"Oh, right," he said. "Sorry, I forgot and I don't want you to think I was pressuring you or anything."

"I don't think that," I said. "I'm just nervous."

"Yeah, that's normal to feel that way," he said. "If you're not ready you're not ready."

I nodded, picking up my sewing supplies.

"Are...are you ready?" I asked.

"When we first started dating, it would have been a definite no," he said. "N-not that I don't like you, I do. It's just that starting to date after losing my wife was really, really hard but it kind of gets easier exponentially fast. I know Flash wouldn't want me to stay alone for the rest of my life and be happy, just as long as I'm not putting my happiness before Bandit's safety. But I'm not because you also love Bandit and you're helping to take care of her. You would put Bandit's safety before yours and I think that's one of the reasons why you're so great. Speaking of Bandit, you have been working on that dress for three weeks now."

"Yeah, well, I haven't gotten to work on it all day every day," I said. "Working with tulle is difficult but I just want to make it poofy. And I just want to make sure it's perfect."

Poison smiled and gave me a kiss.

"You should take a break from working, we should go get some food," he said.

"A break?" I asked. "I haven't even started, we've just been kissing. That's why it's taken me three weeks to make the dress."

The backdoor opened and I could hear Bandit crying. Poison and I quickly went down as Kobra stood there, holding a hysterical toddler.

"What's wrong, what happened?" Poison asked, taking her for himself.

"She saw a picture of her mom and just started sobbing," Kobra said.

I noticed she was clutching a picture in her tiny fist.

"Hey, hey, sweetheart," Poison cooed.

"Mama!" She cried.

"Let's go for a walk, babygirl," he said.

The two walked off and for a moment I felt slightly disappointed that I wasn't invited in on the walk. But then I wanted to smack myself because no matter how much I loved her, she wasn't my kid. She would never really be my kid.

I watched them walk away before I went inside, finding Ray working on some blueprints.

"Am I a bad person?" I asked.

"What did you do?" He asked without looking up.

"I love B," I said.

"Okay?" He asked.

"But I'm not her parent," I said. "I can't be her parent. Poison is her dad and so Poison gets full authority over her. And like, yeah, that's okay. I mean, we're too new to start co-parenting or any of that fucking shit but, like, I want to be important in their lives. I want to also help B when she's upset. I bathe her and feed her and play with her. I want to...god, I'm being fucking stupid, aren't I? We've been dating for a month and I'm demanding to adopt his child. I don't know what I'm doing."

"Is this about her crying?" He asked and I nodded. "Well, what was she crying about?"

"Her mom," I mumbled.

"Well, that's probably why you weren't invited," he said. "You know you're given some authority with her but this is...this isn't new boyfriend territory. This is a little girl upset over her dead mom needing comfort from her dad, who was said mom's husband making her his late wife. This just isn't new boyfriend territory. It'll fall into place but of course when things get more serious you two will need to have a talk on boundaries and co-parenting but it's just a little too soon to start talking about the idea of co-parenting. Yes, you can help to take care of her and stuff but you're too new in a relationship to completely co-parent. Poison still has all authority and makes the rules, but it's also his job to take on the hard conversations and comfort his daughter when she's upset about her mom."

"Oh," I mumbled. "Sorry, I guess I just don't really know a lot about relationships."

"Every relationship is different," he said. "Just talk, you need good communication."

I nodded as I saw Poison in the window. Bandit was asleep in his arms and I got up to open the door for him. He whispered a thank you and went to put his daughter to bed in his room. He came back out, taking my hand and pulling me out front. We sat down on the hood of the car.

"You okay?" I asked.

"That was a hard but odd conversation," he said and I looked at him in confusion. "Bandit is too young to understand death, she doesn't know what it is. So it was just her asking where her mom was and I kept saying she went bye-bye. I don't want her to ever get bigger because she's so precious but I kind of wish she was a little bit older so I could explain it to her more easily. By the time she gets old enough to understand she probably will have forgotten her."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the photo Bandit had been holding, I could tell from where it was wrinkled from her clutch. The picture showed Poison with short brown hair that made me smile. Bandit was so tiny between them as she smiled. Then my eyes drifted over to the girl. She had such a bright smile, her blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail. Poison had his arm wrapped around Flash's shoulders. They looked so happy.

"Your hair," I remarked.

"This was when I first moved to the zones," he said. "That was my hair in Battery City. You know, there's no dyed hair allowed and we are only allowed to choose from a list of different hairstyles, all the mens don't go past their ears. Very stereotypical in that way, all men have short hair all girls wear makeup kind of thing. Stupid. Anyways, that was before Bandit's mom taught me how to do my hair and we dyed it red."

I smiled. "She's so little, so precious and tiny."

"She is," he said with a small smile.

"I've always wanted a kid," I said. "But I'm gay, so that's not really gonna happen. And there isn't really adoption out here. A lot of killjoys don't have kids so there's no unwanted children to take in."

"Why don't they have kids?" He asked.

"For multiple but very similar reasons," I said. "It can be dangerous, the zones aren't the easiest place for kids to grow up. They don't want to have the child struggle growing up with getting food and clothes and shelter. They don't have time to have a child because they're still struggling to survive themselves. And they just don't want to bring a child into the world that's so messed up."

Poison nodded as he looked down at the picture. He turned it over and I saw a date on it with the name Bandit, Lindsey and something else. Poison's thumb just happened to be covering it.

"Lindsey, that's a beautiful name," I said.

Poison flipped the picture over.

"Sorry, I forgot that was on there and you saw her name," he said.

"It's okay, she's passed on with the Witch, you can speak her name," I said.

"Should I be?" He asked.

"Well, you don't have to," I said. "It just depends on the person in question. Some don't mind their birth names being used after death but some request that only their killjoy names be spoken. That's simply because some people don't like their birth names, they didn't choose it. To some it--especially those escaped from the city--just represents what others wanted them to become, whether it be parents or the pressures from Better Living, they didn't choose it. Their killjoy identities is what they chose, it's who they truly are."

"Oh, well, Lindsey didn't mind her birth name," he said. "Actually, it's really nice to be able to say it out loud again."

I smiled, holding hush and.