#44 - How do I break up with him?

Hello, genie_us.

How do I break up with a guy who I know I'm gonna start missing again?

Details- This is the second time we've dated. Our first time was last year in September. He was so kind and treated me like a Queen. Then we got into this huge argument and he called me a b*tch.. I started missing him not long ago. We talked again. We got back together a few weeks ago. But now he's treating me terribly and from the way he speaks, it sounds like he only wants me for my butt. And for his future, 'Sexual Needs'.He also calls me 'his b*tch' which I honestly don't appreciate. And once called me his sex slave, (Exact Words) which disturbs me because I'm a VIRGIN! And I'm 13!!But if I break up with him, I'm gonna start missing his good traits.I know what you're gonna say.. 'Ask him to stop and see where it goes from there'..Well it's not easy when my bf and crush are two different people.Bottom line is- -He treats me like crap-I'm gonna start missing him-I'm in love with someone else... Please help me.. If you can :( -Baby Duck

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Greetings, Baby Duck.

Can I start by saying that nope, I wasn't going to say "Ask him to stop and see where it goes from there." Here's actually what I was going to say:

1. You don't deserve to be with someone who mistreats you

Firstly, I need to scold you a little bit.

"Never go back to your ex: it's like reading the same book over and over again when you know how the story ends."

Despite the fact that I found this quote off my facebook news feed, there is much truth that it speaks. It's always daisies and flowers in the beginning of a relationship, but when it goes on for longer, that's when the real test begins. The first time you dated, you saw his bad side. So why did you choose to go through it again?

As much as we hate to admit it, people don't change that much. And, people's true selves come out when they're angry. So I'm scolding you (gently) for getting back with him because he's seriously bad news.

Even YOU can see all the warning signs in front of you. Sex slave? Bitch? Really? You don't deserve to be with someone so low. You deserve better girl, and you need to realize that as soon as possible before it gets out of hand. This relationship needs to end, and you need to find the fire to stand up for yourself. You are NOT an object whose purpose is to entertain and give off sexual gratification, dammit! YOU ARE A GORGEOUS, SMART GIRL, AND YOU NEED TO FIND SOMEONE WHO SEES THAT IN YOU. NOT THIS MOTHERF*CKING -

I'm getting carried away.

2. It's human nature to miss someone

Whether it's a friend who's moving to another town or a guy you've been dating for a while now, it's normal to miss someone. However, one mistake you should not make is let this be your weakness. Giving in to the feeling of longing for him will make you go back to him again, and again, and again, and you'll get hurt again, and again, and again. You've got to be strong. If he messages you, try your best not to reply. If you see him, hold your head high and walk past him. You can't give in to your feelings, because you can't fall into that trap once more.

We always miss the people we grow fond of. But sometimes we need to do our best to ignore these feelings so that we can move on and heal the wounds they left on our hearts.

#GenieJustGotDeep

3. Just tell him you're done

I know that it's tough to break up with someone, but you need to. Tell him that you're not up for such a relationship anymore. Tell him that he's not been very nice to you, and that you feel like it's better if you call things off. Because that's the truth.

4. Stick to your decision

Babe, once you say goodbye, it will forever be goodbye - and you must stick to that. Don't feel sad the next day and then call him crying to get back together. Yes, you'll be vulnerable as hell at that point - but you need to find other people around you who you can go to, a shoulder to cry on. But not his. Keep your distance from him for a while to allow you to get over him.

5. Go for it!

So, you like someone else? GO FOR IT! After you break up with your boyfriend, you're free. Of course, I recommend that you give yourself some time to heal, but that doesn't mean that you can't start refocusing your attention on some other guy. Hopefully this one's much nicer to you, girl.

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You need to remember that you're worth so much more than this guy treats you. You're not an object, and you're certainly not someone's sex slave. So you need to gather some courage, some strength, and stand up to him, for yourself. You'll be glad you did. Because as much as he has good traits, his un-appreciation of you and his insults seeps through them and stains the good. Don't be with someone who calls you a bitch. It's not fair to you, and so you should say goodbye.

And it's okay that you'll miss him. I still miss my ex. But you've got to be strong and push through these feelings, because if you give in to them, you'll find yourself back to square one. Talk to your close friends about this, and ask them to support you. Friends are awesome when it comes to that.

Best of luck with your other crush, btw!

- genie_us xx

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