I want to tear my eyes out. Punish me

for failing myself.

I want to pull my hair out. So I can feel

the anger burning in my chest.

I need to to do something. Because I've wasted

my efforts cowardly. 

Did the work. Overestimated my efforts.

Expected far more due to pride. 

How miserable am I?

How stupid am I? 

I hate myself

I hate myself

I want to love myself.

Because I put my blood, sweat and tears into my work. 

Fail and fail and fail.

Every time. Every goddamn time.

I need to scream.