I don't get it,

Did I do something

wrong?

Act too annoying?

Care too much?

I see it constantly,

around me,

the way a brother

treats his sister,

and despite fights

and arguments,

they hug,

knowing they are 

family,

knowing they love one another

But do you love me?

Because

I don't feel it,

not an inch of 

emotion 

except for that

blank annoyance

I'm lonely,

my throat closing,

gasping for air

in the quiet 

darkness

I don't want to cry,

I won't,

I'm stronger than that.